


Twisted Fate

by MrsCriss2012



Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 03:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 105,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1413928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsCriss2012/pseuds/MrsCriss2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A wedding, a friendship and a love that never dies. </p><p>Kurt and Blaine have been best friends since that first meeting on the Dalton staircase thirteen years ago. Kurt is about to get married and Blaine- as ever- is a sure and steadfast presence right by his side. But does fate have other ideas?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is complete, and will be posted as such. I hope you enjoy it. I'll be uploading other completed works soon.

"You ready son?" Burt Hummel asks, clapping him on the shoulder.

Letting out a shaky breath, Kurt turns from the mirror to face his dad. He looks paler than ever, and wrings his hands nervously as he rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet. "I guess so." He walks towards the door, and taking another deep breath- it feels as if his lungs are trying but failing to hold any air- pulls it open.

"Kurt." He turns slowly to see his dad, standing there looking so uncomfortable in his tux but worried too.

Afraid.

As if there are a million and one things he wants to say but can't, won't, or doesn't know how. "Y'know.....you don't have to do this."

"Are you kidding me?" Kurt snaps, because really, he doesn't need this right now, doesn't need anyone watering that seed of doubt, nurturing it and helping it to grow. "This is my wedding day. The day I've been waiting for since I was three. Over a hundred and fifty guests are down there, waiting for me to appear. I've spent nearly fifty thousand dollars on the whole fucking thing, and you're standing there, telling me I don't have to do this?" Kurt can hear his voice, loud and shrill in his ears as his sweaty palm slips slightly on the door handle.

"I just....want you to be sure." Burt says calmly. "You know Kurt, weddings are stressful. I get it. But the way you've been these last few months....You would tell me, wouldn't you? If there was something wrong? If you were unhappy?"

Kurt's silence is mutinous as he stares at the floor.

"Or Blaine? You'd tell Blaine, right?" Burt tries, but Kurts walls are up, and he looks his dad in the eye with a piercing blue stare.

"Can we just get going please?" He asks coldly, then strides from the room without waiting for an answer.

Burt hurries after him and they ride the elevator down to the ceremony in silence, a tense, uncomfortable silence which neither knows how to break. The doors open and Blaine stands before them. Looking ever the gentleman in his elegant tuxedo, hair gelled down neatly, Kurt smiles warmly at him- then notices the look on his face.

"What is it?" Kurt asks, the panic creeping into his voice as he tries to look past Blaine's shoulder.

"Kurt....I think we should go up to your room. Talk in private."

"I don't want to talk in private." Kurt says, and makes to walk past but Blaine grips his arms tightly, turning him so he can't see.

"Kurt please. Not here. Lets go upstairs."

"Tell me Blaine, tell me whatever it is you've got to say. Just tell me here, right now. I'm a grown man for fucks sake, I can handle it." Kurt is rambling, words tripping over one another as they fly from his mouth. He feels his dad place a firm hand on his shoulder, but it is meaningless as his mind races with different possibilities.

"He's not coming, Kurt. I'm so sorry."

"What?"

"Ian. He's not....um.....his brother came and just said he's not coming. He doesn't want to go through with it. I...shit Kurt....I'm so sorry."

Covering his mouth with a trembling hand, Kurt leans heavily against the wall and stares into the distance as Burt looks to Blaine.

"When did this happen?"

"Right now. His brother just left, I was on my way up to tell you."

"Ignorant little bastard." Burt fumes, hands balling into fists. "And he thinks that's okay? It's okay to do this to my son? To have him spend eight months planning a huge wedding, inviting all their family and friends to just run out on him?"

"Burt, please. Your heart."

"Fuck my heart, what about his?" Burt asks as he looks to Kurt who has now slid down the wall to sit on the floor. "He just sends his brother to tell the best man that the wedding's off? Who does that?"

"Look, I think we need to act here. Get Kurt back up to his room, and I'll go and um....well....tell the guests to go home I suppose. I'll ask Finn to talk to the hotel staff."

"No." Kurt's voice comes, shaky yet determined as he hauls himself to his feet. "Don't tell them it's off. It's probably just some sort of mistake. He probably stayed out too late drinking or something...yes. That's it. I expect he's hungover. Blaine, you didn't listen properly to Paul. He was probably trying to tell you they'd be late."

"Kurt. Please, listen to me. It wasn't that. He's not coming." Blaine says gently, as he reaches for him.

"Yes he is!" Kurt screams, face contorted and twisted in rage as he yells in his best friend's face. "He is! You just didn't listen. I'll go upstairs and call him now. Then you'll see. You'll realize that you're the one being a dumb idiot here!" Turning on his heel he flees to the staircase, taking them two at a time until he arrives back in his room, breathless and panting.

"What should I do?" Blaine asks Burt with wide eyes. "There's a whole room full of people who were expecting a wedding to start ten minutes ago and currently all they've got is my brother entertaining them with sexually explicit songs on the piano."

“Just...go and say there’s a delay. Then bring Carole up to the room.” Burt grasps Blaine’s shoulder and leaves swiftly, hoping against hope that he can somehow make all this better as he heads upstairs to find Kurt.

“......And that’s why women have vaginas!” Cooper Anderson finishes with a flourish, then bows as a smattering of applause comes from the astounded guests.

“Uh....thank you Cooper.” Blaine says as he steps onto the small raised platform in the center of the room. “Ladies and Gentlemen, there’s just going to be short delay I’m afraid....um....a few last minute nerves and all that. Things will get underway shortly.” He smiles politely at the guests as the buzz of gossip begins. Taking Carole by the arm, he beckons to Finn to join them as he steers her from the room.

“Finn, can you go and tell the staff that there’s been a hold up. Give me ten minutes and I should be able to tell them more.” Blaine says as he hurries towards the elevator. “Carole, come with me.”

“Is Kurt okay?” Finn asks with concern.

“Yeah...well...sort of. Paul turned up and told me Ian’s bailed.”

“What?!” Carole and Finn shriek together.

“I know. So Kurt is upstairs in complete denial. I don’t even know what to think.”

“Okay. You go up to him, I’ll go talk to the manager.”

“Do you think he’s really stood Kurt up?” Carole asks as the elevator doors close.

“Honestly? Yes. But I don’t know if Kurt will believe me.”

Blaine knocks hesitantly on the door and Burt opens it to reveal Kurt pacing back and forth in front of the tall windows, phone pressed to his ear. “Ian, honey, just call me. Please. I don’t know if it’s just that you’re running late, or you’re nervous or what....but....just call me. Please.”

“That’s like the tenth voicemail he’s left.” Burt says, trying to be quiet but Blaine can tell from the glare Kurt shoots them that he wasn’t. They watch as Kurt redials, letting out a yell of frustration as he throws his phone onto the bed.

“He’s turned it off!” Kurt yells. “He’s turned his voicemail off. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do?” he asks, raking his fingers through his hair as he stares down at Central Park spread below him like a map.”Twitter. Maybe he’s...”

“Kurt. Stop.” Blaine’s voice comes strong and firm from the doorway. He approaches Kurt cautiously, as if one might approach a wounded wild animal, which is exactly what Kurt is at this moment in time. “Come sit with me a while, we can talk this through.”

“No!” Kurt says, picking up his iPad and pulling up twitter. “He’s out there, somewhere. He’ll be playing some stupid prank, I’m sure. He...he....”

“Please Kurt, don’t tweet him. Don’t put anything out there. Once it’s on the internet there’s no taking it back.”

“What do you want me to do then?” Kurt cries desperately, “Nothing? Just sit and wait? No. I can’t.”

“Kurt, honey..... I’m afraid I don’t think he’s coming.” Carole says softly into the tense room.

“And you know this....how?” Kurt asks, drawing himself up to his full height and walking towards her. “Are you a mind reader now Carole?” he spits bitterly, “Do you suddenly have some deep, meaningful insight into my relationship with my fiance that nobody else has? Did he come to you and confess all, and you just thought it would be amusing to have me sweat it out like this? Huh?”

“No, Kurt...you know that...I just....” she stutters.

“You just know nothing. Now shut the fuck up and let me worry about where the hell Ian is and why he won’t answer any of my calls.”

Burt walks over to them and puts his arm around his wife. “Kurt, buddy, I love you. We all do. But you need to look at the facts here son. Paul spoke with Blaine and said Ian doesn't want to go through with it. I think....I think Carole and I will go downstairs and tell everyone to go home," he says sadly. "Stay here with Blaine."

The door shuts and Blaine swallows over the bundle of nerves that has risen like bile inside his throat. Kurt stays motionless, staring out at the Manhattan skyline.

"Can I get you anything?" Blaine asks quietly, "A drink? Some water?"

"Whiskey." Kurt says without turning.

"Are you..."

"Whiskey."

"Right." Blaine moves to the minibar and retrieves two small bottles. Pouring them into glasses, he hesitates a moment before handing one to Kurt silently.

Kurt knocks it back, grimacing as the liquor burns his throat. He regards the empty glass for a second, then turns and hands it back to Blaine, taking the other one and knocking that back too. Blaine says nothing, just sets the glasses down on a small table and rocks slightly on his heels.

"Are you lying to me?" Kurt asks suddenly into the silence, causing Blaine's head to swivel sharply towards him.

"What?"

"About Ian. For whatever reason, are you lying?"

"No! Kurt, I would never, ever lie to you. Not about this." Missing the meaning behind those words, Kurt turns to face Blaine for the first time since they've been left alone.

"Do you think he's at home?"

"Kurt...I don't know. I don't know where he is. I only know that for whatever reason, he's not showing up today. But you know.....maybe....if you give him time.....the wedding might not happen on this day, but it doesn't mean it won't happen at all."

There are so many things he could add here. But he can't. Not now. Not ever, Blaine realizes with a heavy heart as he swallows that lump that just won't go away and tries to comfort his friend as best he can.

"Will you come with me?" Kurt says, a determined fire in his eyes which Blaine finds himself trying to shy away from.

"Where?"

"To my apartment."

"Your dad told us to stay here." Blaine blurts, knowing Kurt will pour scorn on him as soon as the words have left his mouth.

"Blaine. We're not seven. We're twenty eight years old. I can do whatever I damn well please, and what I want to do is go home. I'm asking you, as my best friend, to come with me. Whether you want to support me, or let me down as everyone else seems want to do, is your choice."

Blaine nods wordlessly and picks up his tux jacket. Kurt is already at the door, walking quickly down the corridor with a quick glance over his shoulder as if scared of getting caught. He pushes his way through the crowded lobby, past the concerned yet prying faces of wedding guests being ushered towards the exit, and out onto the street. Squinting in the bright summer sunshine, he checks to see Blaine is still with him before hailing a cab and jumping in. Giving his address to the driver, he slides down in the seat just as he spies a heavily pregnant Rachel waddling towards him.

“Not now,” he mutters, “Please, not now.”

The cab pulls away and Blaine looks back to see Rachel standing flabbergasted as the traffic mills around her. “S’okay.” Blaine says to him, “She’s too fat to catch us properly.”

“She’s pregnant Blaine, she’s not fat.”

“Whatever.”

“God you’re clueless. It’s no wonder......”

“What?” Blaine snaps, his patience having finally worn thin. “It’s no wonder what, Kurt?”

“Forget it.” comes the dismissive reply as Kurt turns to stare out the window.

They are silent the rest of the journey. Kurt wills himself not to be so unkind to Blaine. He knows it’s pointless lashing out and hurting the ones closest to you just because you yourself are hurting. But he also know he’s been behaving that way for years, covering up a multitude of hopes and desires, fears and failings by being snarky and aloof. Downright unapproachable really, but he’s not sure he knows how to change.

Blaine, for his part, always stays. He could up and walk away as so many have done over the years, but he knows he never will. He wonders briefly if Rachel would have stuck around had it not been for her marriage to Finn. Maybe. He can see the same drive and determination in both of them, but Rachel had hers softened by the influence of love. Kurt just seemed to harden. The more he grew, the colder he became. And now, this steely, ruthless determined individual is about to experience what life feels like when you aren’t in control.

The cab pulls to a halt and Kurt walks straight into his building, ignoring the doorman, leaving Blaine to pay the fare and nod politely at George as he hurries into the elevator. “Why do you always ignore him?” Blaine asks when the doors close.

“Who?”

“George.”

“Who’s George?”

“Nevermind.” Blaine says exasperatedly as he trails Kurt to his door.

He unlocks and they step inside. There’s no denying the apartment is beautiful. Kurt’s reputation as one of New York’s most sought after Interior Designers is evident here. His income, combined with Ian’s stockbroker salary had afforded them a swank, luxury apartment on the Upper East side. Tall windows let light stream in, making the parquet floors shine. The muted tones of the large living area, the soft grays and blues give it a welcoming feel and contrast well with the masculine black and steel of the kitchen and Blaine finds himself, as always, marvelling at the show home quality it possesses, as if Hello magazine could start a photo shoot at any time. Large paintings that Kurt and Ian have acquired on their many trips abroad adorn the walls, along with family photos- Burt and Carole and Finn and Rachel on their wedding days and pictures of others that Blaine assumes are Ian’s relatives. Despite him having been with his best friend for five years, Blaine still feels like he doesn’t really know Ian at all. On the face of it, you would assume they’d actually have more in common that him and Kurt. Both like Football and Hockey, both came from the same wealthy background and enjoyed the same privileged upbringing, and both indulge Kurt and his diva-esque ways. Yet Blaine always feels some hesitance, a reluctance on Ian’s part to fully engage with him. A reticence which leaves Blaine wondering if maybe Kurt- the biggest thing they have in common- is also the thing keeping them apart.

“He’s not here.” Kurt says tonelessly.

“No.” Blaine waits, unsure whether to sit as Kurt roams the apartment or follow him. He’s been here many times before, but apart from a tour when they first moved in, Blaine has never been in the bedroom. Any of the bedrooms for that matter. But still, he tags along as Kurt looks into the large dining room, then opens the door to one of the guest rooms to find nothing amiss there either. He walks straight down the hall to the master suite, pushing open the double doors then stopping in surprise.

Nothing. Everything is exactly as he had left it when he had departed for the hotel yesterday afternoon. He had expected something, some kind of disturbance, something to have been moved or changed to signal that Ian had been here this morning....but nothing.

“You okay?” Blaine says softly from the doorway.

“Yeah. He’s not been here I don’t think. Nothing’s moved.”

“Did he stay at the hotel last night?”

“No. He stayed with his brother. He left yesterday lunchtime, and I don’t think he’s been back since. So that means he’s got to come back sometime, right?” Kurt asks hopefully.

“I guess....”

“It does. He only took a small overnight bag and his tux. So if I just sit tight he’ll be back soon enough and then we can talk. Oh Blaine, you’ve no idea how relieved I am” Kurt’s face breaks into a wide grin as he falls back onto a chaise longue.

“Um....why?” Blaine asks, seemingly still stuck in the doorway and unwilling to step further into the room.

“Because I can make him change his mind!” Kurt says, looking at Blaine as if he’s the deluded one. “He’ll realize how silly he’s being over all this and reconsider.”

“Back at the hotel you were convinced he was drunk somewhere, or playing a prank. Now you seem to have dismissed that idea and can actually acknowledge that he was contemplating not going through with it. That’s good. That’s what I call progress. But thinking you can change his mind? No, Kurt. You’re setting yourself up for major heartache- even more than you’ve had already. Talk to him, yes, but don’t go in expecting this crisis to be resolved overnight, because it won't be. You need to talk things out, to work through whatever issues he’s having and resolve them before you assume it’s all okay again.”

“And clearly I should listen to you because all your relationships have been so successful,” Kurt sneers and Blaine reels backwards, stung by the venom behind the words. “Now do me a favor and call the Wedding Planner at the Four Seasons. Ask if they’ve got any slots available next week, tell them I’ll pay double if necessary.”

“Kurt...you’re insane.”

“Yes, yes. Thank you for your valuable insight, now go call them.” Kurt says with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Fuck off. Call them yourself. I’m supposed to be your friend Kurt, not your PA.” Blaine says, and finally the hurt in his voice causes Kurt to sit upright and look at him.

“What’s with you?”

“What’s with me, Kurt? What’s with me?! I get that you’re hurting, I do. I know you well enough by now to know that you’re petrified but don’t take all your insecurities on me. I am trying to help you. You have to realize that you’re setting yourself up...”

“For a big fall, I know!” Kurt yells at him, getting to his feet as his desperation and anger build. “But I have to try Blaine! I have to because if I don’t then I’ll always be alone, and I can’t stand being alone with someone I hate so much!”

“You wouldn’t be alone,” Blaine says kindly, finally stepping into the room and moving to stand in front of Kurt. “People like you don’t get left on the shelf, Kurt. You are wonderful. You’re smart, funny, talented and utterly beautiful....” he trails off, staring at the floor and unable to say any more.

“You don’t mean that.” Kurt whispers, and Blaine looks up to see those blue eyes shining with unshed tears.

“I do.” he whispers back, a sad smile playing on his lips. Kurt falls into his arms, stifling a sob as he pushes his face into Blaine’s strong shoulder. Tentatively, Blaine’s arms come around him and hold him tight as he bites back tears of his own.

“His cologne.” Kurt says over Blaine’s shoulder.

“Huh?”

“His cologne has gone.” Kurt repeats, pulling out of Blaine’s embrace and heading to the dressing table. “He left it here yesterday....I remember seeing it and thinking I should take it to the hotel but I forgot..I....” Kurt stills, his fingers tracing over the other items. Most had been packed in their cases for honeymoon, the few things left were of little or no importance, yet Ian had come back to fetch his cologne. “Why just that?” Kurt says, his voice almost inaudible to Blaine. “Why come back for just that? Unless...” And pulling open the top drawer of the dressing table, he finds his answer. Empty.

He moves to the large chest of drawers, pulling open the ones that usually contain Ian’s belongings. All empty. Running through to the dressing area, he pulls open doors and frantically searches....but all of his things have gone. Kurt can feel the tears pricking his eyes, and his heart has plummeted to the depths of his soul, but he carries on searching. The bathroom, the office, the guest room closet with boxes containing items from his childhood- all devoid of Ian's belongings. The apartment holds no trace of him, it’s almost as if he never lived there at all. All that remains are the few pictures on the walls...other than that it’s all Kurt’s things.

Standing aimlessly in the middle of the living room, Kurt hears Blaine softly approach and turns to him. “He’s left me.”

Blaine nods, his mind racing and anger building. He wants to hurt Ian for doing this to Kurt. Hurt him badly. Instead, he holds his hands out to Kurt, who walks slowly towards him. “Why would he do this Blaine?” Kurt asks, his voice gone small. “Why didn’t he tell me? If he wanted to end things, if he wanted to leave, why didn’t he say before our wedding day arrived?” He clutches at Blaine’s hands, eyes wide and childlike as he stares. “Am I that bad? Am I that horrible that he would want to humiliate me like that in front of my family and friends?”

“No you’re not....Oh Kurt.” Blaine pulls him against his chest as great heaving sobs start to tear through Kurt’s body. Holds him tight and soothes, reassures and comforts- because that’s what Blaine does.


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt wakes, peering into the semi gloom and trying to decipher exactly where he is. His eyes sting, his face feels raw and puffy, and a sharp pain makes itself known down the left hand side of his skull when he sits up.

"Hey."

"Oh Jesus!" Blaine's soft voice causes Kurt to jump, and he squints, realizing he's been sleeping on his couch and Blaine is sitting in an armchair across from him.

"Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you."

"S'okay," Kurt says, rubbing the back of his neck. He rolls his shoulders before stretching his arms above his head, revealing a sliver of pale skin which has Blaine looking away quickly. "What time is it?"

"Just after nine. You kinda cried yourself to sleep."

"Great. Have you been sitting here the whole time?"

"No. I um...I went to the hotel and got your things."

"Did you see anyone?"

"Only your dad. He said to call if you need anything."

"Which means he'll turn up here, wondering why I haven't called." Kurt sighs.

"He's just worried about you. Rachel called to check on you as well."

"Fantastic. So I can expect her on the doorstep in the morning too."

"They're just concerned, Kurt." Blaine says gently, "you must see that."

"Ugh. I do. But I just can't face them right now. I can't even process all this myself, let alone deal with their endless questions, however well meaning they are."

"We could go to mine?" Blaine asks, phrasing it as a question because he's not sure how Kurt will react.

"Really?"

"Yeah...I mean....you won't be disturbed there, at least. You can sleep over....if you want"

"That'd be great Blaine." He pauses, then adds "thank you" as an afterthought and offers a tight smile.

While Kurt gathers a few things, Blaine sends a quick text to Burt, assuring him Kurt is fine but wants to be left alone. He promises to check in again tomorrow, then pockets his phone as he notices a very fragile looking Kurt standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Ready?"

"Yeah. Blaine......what if he comes back?"

"We can stay here if you'd rather?"

"Do you think he might?"

"Are you asking for my actual opinion, or are you going to shoot me down as soon as I say anything?"

Kurt smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Tell me, honestly."

Blaine walks towards him, his arms itching to hold this lost and lonely figure, but he resists. "Honestly, no I don't. I'm sorry Kurt, it might not be what you want to hear, but I don't think he's planning on coming back at all."

Nodding dumbly, Kurt holds his hand out to Blaine. He touches Kurt’s hand softly, but pulls back again instantly. "Please?" Kurt whispers, and as he always does, Blaine gives in and takes it. "Can we go?"

Kurt seems to become more needy as their journey progresses. Seemingly oblivious to Blaine's discomfort, he clings tightly to his hand at all times, and leans his head onto Blaine's shoulder during the cab ride which takes them to Soho, and Blaine's sleek bachelor pad.

"Um..Kurt..could you just...." Blaine untangles himself from Kurts limbs as he fumbles in his pocket for his keys, unlocking the door and flipping the light. Kurt follows him, breathing in the comforting scent of Blaine and his cologne, along with the cinnamon and clove plug in which fills the apartment. Flopping heavily onto the leather couch, he chooses to ignore the look of distaste which Blaine shoots him.

"Shoes, Kurt."

Toeing off his shoes and flinging his jacket to the floor, Kurt watches as Blaine picks up after him and lets out a long sigh. The weight of the last few hours, and the strange limbo in which he now finds himself, seems to have eased slightly with the closing of Blaine's door. He feels able to breathe again, which oddly enough, he felt like he hasn't been able to do for days, not just the last few hours. He thinks a while, watching as Blaine moves around the living area turning on a side lamp and drawing the blinds.

"Pictures." Kurt says into the quiet.

"Excuse me?"

"You haven't got any pictures on your wall. You know, every time I've been here I've never been able to put my finger on what stops it from feeling homey. But I've just realized. You haven't got any pictures."

Blaine stands in the middle of the room, and gives a small, sad shrug. "Not really got any pictures worth putting up."

"You must have."

"What moments of my life could possibly be worth framing and putting on the wall? The endless Christmases and Thanksgivings Cooper and I spent with whichever nanny was employed at the time? I see Cooper most days, I hardly need reminding of his face. I suppose, if I possessed a picture of my parents I could put it up, seeing as its quite hard to remember what people look like when you don't see them for months on end."

"Art then? Don't you ever see any paintings you admire? Or photographs of buildings? You're an architect for gods sake, you're supposed to have an eye for huge steel structures which most of the general public would think hideous."

"I do. But I spend my life drawing them. I fail to see why I also need them to adorn my walls."

"Because this is your home."

"No it's not Kurt. This is where I live, but it's not my home. I don't have one. A home is a place like Cooper’s, where dishes stand in the sink and roommates come and go, chatting, laughing and sharing jokes. Or like your dad and Carole's, where there's always something baking, a table crowded with happy family members all bickering over how much Finn has eaten, and a proper father at the head. I've lived in various places Kurt, but I've never had a home."

"But what about...."

"Why don't I order us some food? You might wanna take a shower or something," Blaine rambles, desperate to change the subject before he makes a complete fool of himself. "You can use my bathroom if you want, the shower is better in there. Towels are in the closet. Just make yourself at home....in my non homey apartment."

"Right." Kurt senses when he's beaten, and knows he won't be able to draw Blaine any further on this topic, so he walks down the hall to Blaine's bedroom, and the enormous ensuite. He smiles to himself as he walks in the room, thinking back to when they roomed together briefly at Dalton. They couldn't change the decor of course, but their room had been one of two very different halves. Both were neat and tidy, which is why they were so happy to share- especially when they had seen how some of the other boys had kept theirs. But Kurt’s pinboard had been jammed full of photos, ticket stubs, theater program's, whereas Blaine's had only held his school timetable. And now their current bedrooms were also ones of marked difference. Kurt had always had an eye for soft furnishings, and his bedroom back at his own apartment had been light and welcoming, with plenty of scatter cushions and a big soft rug underfoot. Blaine, on the other hand, looked as if he was desperately trying to assert his masculinity over the room. One long wall was painted a dark chocolate, the others a lighter oatmeal shade, but the dark furniture accented it. In the center, against the darker wall was an enormous mahogany bed, the sheets matching the walls. It was expensive, of that there was no doubt, but it was impersonal and cold.

Shrugging, Kurt walks to the bathroom. He's always wanted to try the huge, ostentatious shower in the bathroom, which has a massive shower head and several different jets coming out the walls. Locating a towel, he undresses quickly and turns it on, yelping when he steps under an icy spray. He presses a button, hoping that will adjust the temperature in some way, but squeals louder as water pounds sideways into his back and chest.

"Blaine!" He yells, stepping shivering from the shower and wrapping the towel around his hips. "Blaine get in here!"

Something in his voice must have concerned Blaine, because he comes running almost immediately, phone still in his hand from ordering takeout. “Oh Jesus Kurt!” he cries upon entering, “Put some clothes on can’t you?” he shields his eyes and backs away, missing the almost hurt look which crosses Kurt’s features.

“You were on the school football team, you go to the gym. You must see guys wandering around like this all the time.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“They’re not you.” Blaine says, then turns his back to try and hide his blush. He can’t look at him, just can’t. Not stood there in his own bathroom, his perfectly toned and sculpted chest on display, and naked under that towel. He can’t.

“I just couldn’t work the shower.” Kurt says, a bit bewildered at Blaine’s huge overreaction.

“Right. Sorry. I forgot. It’s programmed to different settings, so I just push a button depending on what type of shower I want.”

“So what’s number one?”

“That’s my morning shower. It’s cold, and the spray is vicious.”

“You take cold showers?” Kurt asks, wondering why anyone would torture themselves so.

“Yes. You might like to try number four. It’s the one I use after the gym. It’s softer, and hot so it relaxes my muscles.”

“Okay. And Blaine?”

“Yes?” he replies, still facing the wall.

“I’m sorry, if I offended you.”

“You didn’t. I’m just being stupid. Enjoy the shower.” he says with a tinge of sadness, before closing the door softly.

When Kurt emerges, feeling thoroughly relaxed and sleepy again, he dresses in a pair of worn yoga pants he grabbed from home, then decides to hunt in Blaine’s walk in closet for a hoodie. He locates an old Dalton one and puts it on, enjoying the way the worn fabric seems to wrap itself around him, and heads to the living room. It’s on his way past the bed that he sees it. On the nightstand. He’s irresistibly drawn, and he picks up the small frame to examine its contents. His breath catches in his throat as he stares. They look so young. Both in their Dalton uniforms, in fact Kurt can remember Nick taking the picture just a few weeks after he started. His head rests on Blaine’s shoulder and he looks up at him, a small smile playing on his lips as Blaine- handsome, strong and sure, looks into the camera. How much had changed since then, how much had come to pass. Things were different now.

“I owe you an apology.” Kurt states as he finds Blaine opening cartons of chinese in the kitchen.

“Huh?”

“I think....I think I haven’t been a very good friend to you recently. And for that I apologize.”

“Kurt....don’t worry about it. Really.” Blaine says as he fumbles to open a bottle of wine- but Kurt notices he doesn’t deny it.

“I haven’t seen much of you these past few months.”

“You were busy wedding planning.”

“Still. I should have made time for you. And before that, even. I can’t remember the last time we did something like this,” he says, gesturing to the food. “It’s been a hasty cup of coffee with Cooper when we have a free moment, or you coming for dinner with Ian and I. But it’s not been just us for a long time.”

“Life gets in the way I guess. Things change, we move on. I won’t pretend like it hasn’t bothered me a little, because it has, but I’m not going to dwell on it. Now I know today has been crap, but let’s just forget about it for now and share some good food and wine.”

“What are we drinking to?” Kurt asks as Blaine hands him a glass.

“To you. May you find happiness again in the not too distant future.” he raises his glass and sips, eyeing Kurt all the while.

“Well I wish the same for you too.” Kurt answers.

“Thanks. It’s not gonna happen, but thanks.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

Blaine busies himself with eating as Kurt watches him. He was always so happy and carefree, despite his parents scant presence in his life. Confident too- and on occasion Kurt could still see that- when he’d watched him on the phone with clients, or messing about on Karaoke in a bar with his brother, but overall, it was a very different Blaine that stood before him now. Kurt tried to think back to when the change had taken place. Certainly in college he had been very popular- always surrounded by a large group of friends which he was happy to introduce Kurt to, and renowned for the huge smile always on his face. It had been after- almost as if Blaine hadn’t wanted to enter into the adult world, or felt he needed to change in order to do so. He had become serious, dedicated to his work and now he only came out to play on the rarest of occasions.

“I miss your smile.” Kurt says suddenly, and Blaine pauses- mouth slightly open and chopsticks raised.

“What?”

“You never smile anymore.”

“I do.”

“You don’t. Well, not properly anyway. Remember I used to tease you that you’d get crows feet long before me because you were always smiling so much? Yeah. I’m not seeing any.”

Blaine hops from his stool and backs away from the counter as Kurt approaches him. “I have them I’m sure. Let’s just....let’s just eat. Okay?”

Kurt agrees silently, helping himself to food. Long after they’re full, and have found the bottom of the bottle, they move into the living room. Sitting on the couch, Blaine stiffens as Kurt sits next to him but doesn’t move. Maybe, just this once, he can allow himself to enjoy this closeness.

“We’ve done well for ourselves, haven’t we?” Kurt says after a while. “Not even thirty and a failed marriage apiece.”

“Well technically your marriage didn’t fail, since it never really started.”

“I don’t know if that makes it better or worse.” Kurt says and they both laugh softly. “Do you ever see her?”

“Lisa? No. Last I heard she was moving back to Cincinnati. I guess that was for the best- she was close to her sister and mom and dad.”

His sudden tense posture doesn’t go unnoticed by Kurt, who mentally kicks himself for having asked such an awkward question when he had just started to relax. But like a dog with a bone, he can’t drop it. “Do you miss her?”

“No.”

“You’ve been alone for so long now. You should try and meet someone.”

“It’s only been two years. And I don’t want to meet anyone else.”

“So you’re not over her.”

“I didn’t say that. I was over her long before she even left. I’m just not interested in looking for anyone.”

“Not at all?”

“No.” And he says it with such force, such finality that Kurt drops the subject immediately. They sit in silence, Kurt filled with overwhelming pity for his friend, but knowing if he voices that then Blaine will push him away. “Sorry.” Blaine says after a while, and Kurt finds himself startled when his hand squeezes his knee briefly- leaving him to feel his fingers there long after they have disappeared.

“It’s okay. I’ve no right really. I guess if I’m doomed to be miserable then I just want for those around me to be happy instead.”

“You’re not doomed to be miserable, Kurt. I told you.”

“I know, I know. But right now I should be closing the door to the honeymoon suite at the Four Seasons and gazing adorably at my husband. And in twelve hours time I should be sitting in a first class seat on a plane bound for London.” Kurt sighs and blinks back his tears.

“You know, you could still go.”

“Huh?”

“You could still go on the trip. Three weeks travelling around Europe....it would give you time to re-evaluate. You need some time and space to work out what exactly you’re going to do, how you’re going to move forward from this.”

“I could, but I’d be miserable. Everything is booked for two. Everywhere I went, people would be looking for the other half. I don’t think I could stand it.”

“Who cares what people think? What are you going to do otherwise? You’ve cleared your books for nearly a month. You can’t just sit around the apartment and mope. And you know Rachel will be begging you to stay with her and Finn. Or Carole will haul your bony ass back to Ohio.”

“My ass is not bony!” Kurt cries indignantly, huffing in mock annoyance but secretly enjoying the way in which Blaine’s eyes sparkle with merriment. “Take it back.”

“Okay, I’m so very sorry Kurt. Your ass is not bony.” Blaine laughs.

“What is it then?” Kurt teases.

“What?”

“Describe it to me. If you’re saying it’s not bony then how would you describe it?”

“Oh Jesus Kurt, I....” Looking down at his hands in his lap, Blaine wills himself not to blurt something ridiculous, then yelps as Kurt straddles him. “What the hell are you doing?” he tries to lift him, but Kurt laces their fingers together and the wrestle at each other, Kurt finding himself enjoying it immensely while Blaine feels he may cry.

“Describe my ass Anderson!” Kurt pushes out from between gritted teeth as they continue to wrestle- Blaine had become a lot stronger since high school. Realizing he’s beat, Kurt does the only thing that he can think of- he tickles him.

 

“No..Kurt...no....don’t tickle me....please!” Blaine screams as he writes underneath him, trying desperately to escape. “Stop! I’m begging you...please stop!”

“Not until you tell me what my ass is like!”

They are both full out laughing now, tears rolling down faces as they both lose themselves in the escapism...until Blaine suddenly yells “Perfect! Your ass is completely perfect!”

And just as suddenly as he started, Kurt stops. Climbing off Blaine and sitting back on the couch, righting his clothing as he does so. “Thanks.” he murmurs, and Blaine is amazed as he watches color flood his face, all the way to the tips of his ears.

“I’m...um...I’m going to turn in.” Blaine says standing, “It’s getting late and...”

“Come with me.”

“Excuse me?”

“Come on the trip with me. I’m loathe to call it a honeymoon, so I won’t. I’ll just say that I have the most fabulous three week vacation in Europe booked, and I would really like it if you’d accompany me.”

“Kurt...I can’t.”

“Sure you can.” Kurt says as he takes his hand gently, feeling a small glimmer of satisfaction when he doesn’t immediately resist. “Cooper is always on at you to take a vacation, I’m sure he can handle your clients while you’re away, and he can email you any urgent queries.”

“No Kurt, you don’t understand...”

“Please Blaine. I know we haven’t been as close recently, but you’ve been my best friend for thirteen years- I don’t want to go alone and I honestly can’t think of anyone else I’d rather spend the time with. Who knows, we might even find your smile outside Buckingham palace, or hidden in a small Parisian cafe...”

Blaine chuckles softly, looking down and rubbing his neck before looking back to Kurt and giving in....again. “Okay.”

“Oh my God, you mean it?”

“Yes. I’ll come.”

“Oh thank you Blaine, thank you, thank you!” Throwing himself into Blaine’s arms, he hugs him tightly before pulling back to grin excitedly. “Okay, I’ll call the airline and change the reservation. You call Cooper and find your passport!”

It ends up being another hour before they retire, Kurt to the guest room and Blaine to his bathroom, where he spends longer than strictly necessary in the shower. He throws on a pair of boxer shorts and walks into his bedroom.....to find Kurt curled up sound asleep in the middle of his bed.

"Kurt.....no. You can't do this to me, please no." Blaine moans as he tries to rouse him, but despite a few grunts to let him know he's now awake, Kurt is unmoving. "Oh fine," Blaine huffs. "You have the bed, I'll go to the guest room."

"No, don't. Please Blaine. Stay here with me."  Kurt says, now staring at him with those big blue eyes.

"In the same bed? No."

"We used to."

"Not since we were like....seventeen or something," although Blaine clearly remembers the last time they shared a bed on the night of senior prom. "We're adults now."

"Yes we are. And right now I'm an adult who's hurting, and could really use someone to hold me all night." Kurt snaps with a glare.

"Oh for...." Blaine starts, even as he's climbing under the covers. "Shift over."

He scoots behind Kurt, who pulls his arm over his waist and sighs contentedly. Blaine resigns himself to a sleepless night of feeling hopelessly uncomfortable, but he is asleep within seconds.

**  
  
**


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing Blaine notices on waking is warmth. The second is a pair of strong arms holding him tightly. The third is Kurt's soft, pliant, sleeping form curled around his back. His instinct is to leap up and run to the other end of the apartment, to bluff his way through a vague excuse for having woken up early when Kurt eventually rises.

But then Kurt snuffles in his sleep, pressing his face against Blaine's back and tightening his arms around him, and Blaine is trapped. He thinks about waking him....but something makes him stop. Those arms, so sure and steadfast, provide comfort and reassurance and make Blaine feel wanted, needed. As though no matter what the world may choose to throw at him, someone has a hold of him and will never let go. Blaine allows two tears to roll down his face onto the pillow as he realizes that nobody has ever held him this way. He's experienced hugs of course, both giving and receiving, with Cooper, Kurt and Finn, and Carole and Burt always have arms open to welcome him. But this, this feeling of really being held, of having someone need you as much as you need them, makes Blaine long for it everyday of his life.

So he doesn't run. He relaxes- as best he can- tracing gentle, lazy patterns along Kurt’s forearm and revelling in the way their chests move together as they breathe. He's thankful Kurt isn't shirtless, he knows that would be all too much, but he secretly loves the look of Kurt's long pale fingers splayed out over his own chest, the olive tone and dark hair providing a stark contrast. It's when Kurt moves closer still that Blaine has to get up. He knows it's perfectly natural for men to wake with erections, but when one suddenly pushes into your ass crack, it's somewhat strange and leaves Blaine finding it hard to breathe. He shuffles, trying to extricate himself without waking Kurt, but his eyes flutter open and Blaine misses the contented smile on his face.

"Mornin', he mumbles, voice thick with sleep. Blaine freezes as Kurt places a soft kiss to the sensitive spot just behind his ear. He still hasn't looked at him, doesn't dare to now.

"Uh.... It's me," is all Blaine can say, feeling hurt as he realizes this is probably how Kurt wakes every morning, and has clearly mistaken Blaine's identity.

"I know it's you Blaine. I'm saying good morning. It feels good to wake cuddled up to someone for a change."

"Someone...you mean you don't usually?" And now he has to turn and face him, because in all honesty he's shocked. But shit. He looks so beautiful. Hair thrown in different directions, cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling....he actually looks happy. And Blaine can imagine him all too well lying flushed and panting in his bed, lost in the afterglow of sex. He lets out a small whimper as he bites his lip- making Kurt eye him curiously.

"No. Um...Ian sleeps in the guest room during the week, he has to be up early for work. And then at the weekends I guess we're not used to being in the same bed as another person so....so we just stay apart."

"You made your fiancé sleep in the spare room? Wow."

"I didn't make him, it was his choice. He gets up at 5. I'm not about to do that so he decided to sleep in there so he didn’t disturb me. I thought it sweet at the time. But now I've just said it out loud it sounds strange, doesn't it?"

"It does a bit.....if I was hopelessly in love with someone I think I'd want them in my arms every night, but hey- lots of couples have separate bedrooms. It's whatever works for you, right?"

"Well clearly it didn’t work." Kurt states, though there is a soft smile rather than venom behind his words.

"Lisa and I had separate rooms, towards the end." Blaine admits quietly as he hugs his pillow.

"Did you miss holding her?"

"No. I used to lie there wishing she'd get off my fucking arm because it was turning numb. Once she was asleep I would turn over and face the other way."

"You didn't do that last night."

"No."

They both let that hang there for a while- the realization that they both slept peacefully in each others arms all night slowly dawning on them before Kurt decides to change the subject.

"So, we should get up. You need to pack, and I guess I better go home and get my stuff."

"And call your dad."

"Can't you?"

"No! Kurt you're gonna need to talk to him at some point. Better now than in three weeks time, when he'll be mad and hurt that you haven't contacted him. Call him now. I'll go fix us some breakfast."

Kurt sighs and picks up his phone, annoyed that Blaine is always so sensible....and right. Burt answers on the second ring, the relief in his voice evident as he questions Kurt about his whereabouts.

"I'm at Blaine's."

"Well that's good. He just sent a vague text yesterday saying you wanted to be left alone."

"I did....... I do."

"I know. Listen, I've been thinking. Why don't you come back to Lima for a while? I know you..."

"Dad....."

"No, hear me out. I know it's not your favorite place in the world, but you would be home. We can..."

"Dad, please...."

"Me and Carole, we can take care of you. Help you back on your feet. Give Ian time to work out what he wants to do...."

"Dad!" Kurt snaps, "I'm not going back to Lima. I know you and Carole are well meaning, but honestly it's just not what I need right now."

"Well what do you need?" Burt asks gruffly, trying to disguise his hurt. "It's been two years since you came home."

"That's because it's not my home dad. It's a dead end town with no hope or acceptance, and a place which only brings bad memories to mind. I don't need that."

"But it's where your parents live Kurt. Finn and Rachel visit all the time."

"Good for them."

"Kurt, why do we always end up arguing nowadays?"

"We don't. I'm not arguing. I'm telling you, I am not going to Lima. I'm going on my honeymoon."

There is a long silence and then, "On your own?"

"With Blaine."

"Oh. Well, I suppose that's better than you going alone. Can't say I like the thought of that. But what am I supposed to tell Ian if he tries to find you?"

"Tell him where I am, I don't care. But I don't think he will be contacting you."

"He might. Y'know he might just need some time to work through all this and then want to be with you again and you're living it up in France or whatever with your best buddy."

"Has it ever occurred to you that I might not want him back?" Kurt snaps angrily, raking his fingers through his hair in annoyance. "Do you all think I'm so weak, so pathetic that I would be sitting around waiting for him to come pick me up again? He dumped me on our wedding day. While I was dressing in my tux and coiffing my hair, that low life son of a bitch was packing every last item he owns and sneaking out of the apartment. He didn't even have the balls to leave a note. Do you think Kurt Hummel is gonna put up with such a spineless bastard? Cause the answer, I can tell you, is no."

"Okay buddy. I'm sorry." Burt says sadly. "You're right. You're better than that. I just.... I was just trying to help, that's all."

"Well you're really not."

"No, I guess not. Just....enjoy the trip okay? It will be nice for you and Blaine to spend some time together, and he could use the break too."

"Yeah."

"Could you... Can I ask you to just send a text or something occasionally, just to let us know you're both safe?"

"Oh for...." Kurt starts, but then Blaine appears in the bedroom doorway and he looks so sad that he aquicises. "Yeah, I guess I can do that. I'm sure Blaine will remind me."

"I love you Kurt."

"Yeah.......love you."

Kurt hangs up and looks to the doorway in time to catch Blaine walking away. "What?"

Stopping in the hall, Blaine turns to him, the disappointment evident in his voice as he speaks. "I just wish you wouldn't talk to him like that, that's all. Burt is the greatest man I know. Not everyone is blessed with a dad like that."

Kurt huffs in annoyance and follows him to the kitchen. "They're always interfering. Him, Carole, Finn....and especially Rachel."

"They love you Kurt. Why is that so hard to understand? If people seem interfering it's only because they love you enough to be concerned for your welfare."

"Even you?"

Blaine stops chopping fruit and looks to Kurt shyly, and for a second his breath is taken away as he sees a sixteen year old Blaine asking him to dance at prom.

"Even me."

* * *

"Why so many layers?" Blaine laughs as Kurt slides into the backseat of Cooper's car.

"We're going to England."

"It's July."

"Trust me Mr. Shorts and t-shirt, you'll envy me when we land."

"Whatever. I'll get your bags then shall I?" Blaine asks incredulously as Kurt flips open his phone, leaving his suitcase and carry on standing on the sidewalk.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, thanks." Kurt murmurs without looking up.

Slamming the trunk, Blaine climbs in next to Cooper who gives him a knowing look. "Good luck dude, you're gonna need it."

"So what's the schedule then?" Blaine asks as Cooper drives away.

"London for three days, then Monaco."

"I've never been there."

"Neither have I, should be interesting. Then we drive to Bordeaux, or just outside. I rented a little cottage in the countryside. It looked quite quaint on the website. Then we have the last weekend in Paris before we fly home." Blaine nods and hands his passport to the check in clerk. "There's just one thing..." Kurt continues. "Obviously, it was supposed to be a honeymoon. So um....I booked the honeymoon suites in the hotels. Meaning one room."

"And one bed."

"Yes."

"O-Kay," Blaine says slowly.

"We don't have to...y'know....sleep like we did last night. I don't want your arm going numb." He smiles coyly making Blaine's stomach swoop.

"It didn’t."

"But I mean we could always ask if there's any other rooms available if....."

"Kurt, it's fine. Really. I'm more than happy to sleep with you,” he blurts, reddening when the check in clerk laughs out loud. "I mean..."

"I know what you meant." Kurt says as he hands his own passport over. "Straight,” he says to the clerk, nodding in Blaine's direction. "The cottage has three rooms though, so we don't have to share then."

"Are you telling me, or him?" the clerk asks as Kurt snatches his passport back.

Kurt sleeps fitfully during the flight while Blaine tries to focus on the movie. It is only when Blaine tires of his restlessness and pulls him against his side that Kurt finally settles, but all too soon they are coming into land and Blaine finds himself missing Kurt’s warmth in more ways than one.

"It's freezing!" he moans, bowing his head against the drizzle as they walk towards a waiting car.

"Told you." Kurt says as he zips his parka up smugly. "This is a typical British summer. Overcast and cold."

"Great. Last time I visited it was fall, and ridiculously warm."

"The hotel has a spa, I'm thinking hot tub and champagne, what about you?"

Taken completely aback, Blaine stammers and stutters, mentions something about possibly needing a nap then turns to look at the tower blocks quizzing by as they head into the city.

"Welcome, Mr. and Mr. Hummel. Congratulations on your nuptials!" the cheery receptionist greets them on their arrival.

"Oh, no, we're not..."

"Welcome to the Grosvenor," he ploughs on, "We trust you will find everything to your satisfaction and please don't hesitate to let us know if there's anything we can do to make your stay more comfortable."

"We're not....." Blaine tries again, but this time it's Kurt cutting him off.

"Thank you," he says, taking the key cards and following the porter and their luggage towards the elevator.

"They think we're married now!" Blaine huffs out as the doors close.

"So?"

"So? So we're not! And you did nothing to correct him."

"What does it matter? He's some random Londoner who we'll probably never see again." Kurt can feel his annoyance growing as they enter the room, and he knows the enormous bouquet of flowers and bottle of champagne will do nothing to brighten either of their moods.

"It matters because we are not married!" There is a moment when Blaine wonders why he's yelling, why he's letting himself get so worked up about this, but the words are out there and he can see Kurt advancing toward him, eyes like fire, and there's no going back.

"What is your problem Blaine? Seriously, am I that repulsive? Is the idea of being married to me that abhorrent that you want me to correct everyone we encounter in the next three weeks? You know why our friendship has always worked? Because you've never been one of those jackass straight guys who won't be friends with a gay guy just in case someone thinks they're together. It's never bothered you at all. So what? Now you've not got a wife to prove your manly straightness and I’m single you're suddenly icked out like a third grader? Nice. I wish I'd known that before we flew halfway around the world together."

"No! Kurt you're very wrong. You know I don't think that about you at all."

"I don't know anything anymore."

"Oh if only you knew Kurt." Blaine says, then tries to distract from what he's just said by rummaging in his suitcase.

"What? What does that even mean Blaine?" Standing in the middle of the room, hands on hips and seething, Kurt struggles to make sense of this sudden argument. All he knows is it's upsetting him, and he finds himself wishing he could fall into Blaine's embrace and stay there until they were friends again.

"Nothing." Blaine snaps. "I'm going to find the pool. I'll catch up with you later."

"Blaine...." And Kurt is further stunned by how desperately he doesn't want him to leave the room.

"I just need to be on my own awhile." Blaine says with a tinge of regret before he closes the door softly.

He's back an hour later, and feels a pang in his heart as he sees Kurt curled up in the middle of the enormous bed.

"Hey."

"Hey. Good swim?"

"It was okay. I'm just gonna take a shower. Then we could go down to the restaurant if you want?"

"It's eleven o'clock Blaine, they won't be serving."

"Oh. Right." He stands there awkwardly, wanting to make it better but not knowing how.

"I could order room service if you want, while you shower?"

"Yeah, that sounds......I'm sorry Kurt."

Sitting up in the bed, Kurt offers a trembling smile. "It's okay."

"No it's not. I overreacted and I'm sorry. Shit, are you crying? Did I make you cry?" He hurries to the bed and takes Kurt’s hands in his without hesitation, filled with guilt and remorse.

"No....well maybe a bit. But it's just.....everything. I was just lying here trying to work out why I'm such a bitch."

"You're not!"

"I am. You know I am. And maybe that's why he left, I don't know. And I don't know if I want to find out, but I do know that I'd like to be more like I used to be."

"My Kurt?" Blaine says, almost inaudibly, but suddenly it's as if all air has been sucked from the room as Kurt’s hands find his face and he presses their foreheads together. Every tiny fleck of color is visible as they gaze into each others eyes, and Blaine cannot stop staring as he watches Kurt's pupils dilate.

"Your Kurt,” comes the whispered reply and Blaine's eyelids flutter shut as Kurts warm breath fans his face. It would be so easy to kiss him now, to surge forward and claim those lips for his own, as he has been so desperate to do for so long, but he pulls back reluctantly, clearing his throat and walking to the bathroom.

"I'll just...yeah. Order whatever you want."

"'Kay. Friends?" Kurt asks with a tentative smile in his direction.

"Always."

Blaine closes the bathroom door and leans against it heavily, fighting the tears that are pushing insistently behind his eyes. Stumbling almost blindly towards the shower, he turns it to a scalding temperature before stepping under the spray. He rubs vigorously at his body, desperately trying to rid himself of this guilt. His hand finds his cock and he moans before letting a small sob escape his lips. Working himself over frantically, he tries to block any images of Kurt, but he's everywhere. Was it really only this morning he had woken in his arms, seen and felt the mesmerising way in which their bodies fit together? And oh, the feel of Kurt's hard cock pushing against his ass. So firm, ready and waiting to be stroked, sucked. Blaine cries out as his mind brings forth an image of Kurt kneeling on the tiled floor, sinking that perfect mouth around him and he's coming hard, forehead pressed against the cool tiles as he shudders his release and watches the water chase it away.

 **  
**As ever, the immediate guilt that follows is overwhelming, pressing so heavily on his shoulders that he falls to the floor and lets the tears come. "Kurt," he moans brokenly between sobs. "My Kurt."


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning it is Kurt who wakes first, smiling as he looks down at Blaine pushed up against his side, arms circling his waist and head buried into his chest, as if trying to inhale Kurt in his dreams. Kurt feels his heartbeat start to quicken as he studies him. He really is breathtakingly beautiful. From this angle, Kurt can see the way his dark eyelashes fan perfectly across his cheeks. His hair feels soft against his face, much better than the usual gelled down look, his chest hair, although darker and coarser feels just as good, and Kurt finds himself wishing there was some way he could remove his own t-shirt to feel that chest pressed against his own.

Willing himself to calm down, Kurt stares at the ceiling and tries to think of anything else. For him, Blaine has been the subject of many a fantasy over the years, his name has been uttered as he pumps himself dry, or he's come creeping into Kurt’s dreams, leaving him to wake rutting into the sheets in a sticky mess. But he's always been able to leave it there, because he knows that's all it will ever be. Blaine is straight up....straight. Was married even, though Kurt still doesn't know why that ended so abruptly. Yet now he finds himself battling an enormous hard on for the second morning in a row, and he's not so sure he can keep close to Blaine for another five nights before they reach the cottage.

He wants to move, really, he does, but he's also kind of enjoying the semi torture that lying here brings. The closeness of Blaine, his indescribable beauty coupled with not being able to touch his rigid cock turns him on more and more. And when Blaine rubs against him and he feels his morning wood, Kurt very nearly comes there and then. Reaching down with his left hand, he tries to adjust himself in order to ease the ache, but only succeeds in fighting back a groan as he bucks slightly on feeling the contact. Without thinking he palms himself a few times- then freezes in terror as Blaine moves against him again and murmurs "Kurt." Unwrapping himself quickly from Blaine's arms, he sprints to the bathroom and finds himself gasping for air as he comes in just a few short strokes. Cleaning himself hurriedly and splashing some cold water onto his face, he stares his reflection down, eyes steely and determined.

"Never again," he whispers. "This can never happen again." Returning to the warm bed, he feels relieved but guilty, but he still can't help smiling as Blaine fumbles for him, finding an arm and pulling him close once more. He buries himself into Blaine’s neck, inhaling his scent, the woody fragrance of his cologne mixed with the uniqueness of Blaine himself and Kurt has to hold back another moan as he imagines what Blaine’s skin would taste like under his tongue.

"Hello,” comes a quiet voice, and Kurt finds all his anxieties melting away when those amber eyes fix on him.

"Hello."

"We keep cuddling." Blaine points out, though far from looking disturbed or uncomfortable he looks positively euphoric.

"We do."

"I think I like it." Blaine says, his voice- still hoarse with sleep- is barely above a whisper but there's no mistaking his happiness. And if this is what makes him happy, then Kurt is more than willing to indulge.

"I do too." So they stay that way, wrapped in each others arms and staring into each others eyes, saying nothing but smiling every so often, until Blaine's need to use the bathroom becomes urgent and he reluctantly pulls away.

* * *

"Quit moaning!" Kurt says, but his tone is playful and his eyes are sparkling and it's been this way since they started.

Blaine has always claimed he hates shopping with Kurt, but over breakfast Kurt had coerced him into it, begging and pleading so adorably that Blaine stretched it out as long as he could before giving in with a smile. So now he finds himself waiting outside another changing room for Kurt to emerge in yet another outfit in order to ask for his opinion so he can then disregard it and make up his own mind anyway. The pile of bags at Blaine's feet is steadily growing and so is the grin on his face. The only atmosphere is one of fun and frivolity and Blaine reluctantly admits to be enjoying himself immensely.

“It’s like the seventh suit you’ve tried on!” Blaine calls to him. “You look good in whatever. Buy some sweatpants, I dare you.”

“If you ever see me in sweatpants Blaine you have my full permission to strip me naked and never let me wear clothing again.” Kurt says, emerging from the cubicle and handing a pile of suits back to the sales assistant.

“Fuck.” Blaine mumbles, and immediately busies himself collecting all the bags. “So what now?”

“Lunch. And then I want to go to Baby Gap.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No. And I told you, quit moaning. I’m going to have a new niece or nephew in a month and it’s important that it’s well dressed. I can hardly leave that to Finn and Rachel now, can I? Oh, here, let me carry some of those bags.” Kurt says, suddenly realizing that Blaine’s been struggling up and down Oxford street for three hours.

“Finally.” Handing some bags over, he reassures Kurt by smiling warmly. “I don’t really mind carrying your stuff. I’d say if I wasn't prepared to.”

“I’m not a very altruistic person, am I?”

“No you’re not. You never have been. But you’re you. And you’re paying for lunch.”

*

“Look!” Kurt squeals and Blaine turns to see Kurt holding a small romper suit with a bunny on the front. “Isn’t this just the cutest?”

“It’s small.”

“It’s for a baby. I’m buying it.”

“You’re buying the whole goddamn store.”

“Too right. Hey....you okay?” Kurt asks, noticing for the first time Blaine’s unease.

“I just....kids scare me,” he replies as he tries to dodge an errant toddler.

“Why?”

“They’re like...mini people. Mini, tiny people who drool and need you to hold their hand.”

“But they’re so cute!” Kurt exclaims as he pays for his huge pile of goods. “Have you ever even held a baby?”

“No. Why would I want to?”

“Because you’re emotionally dead a lot of the time.” Kurt snaps, annoyed that the pattern they seem to be falling into of happiness followed by an argument. “Holding a baby is a moment to treasure. They’re so small, so helpless and fragile. Ugh. You know it doesn’t even have to be a baby, Blaine, I’d just like to see you express some kind of emotion for something, anything!” he bursts out onto the street and starts walking briskly, Blaine hesitates for a second before running after him, seething.

“What the fuck? You are completely out of line Kurt. I may not bitch, snipe and whine like you do but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel! I am sorry if my views or actions are not always as you’d like them to be, but to call me emotionally dead is ridiculous. What, you don’t think I have any feeling about anything? You think I don't cry myself to sleep at night because I’m so fucking lonely and miserable? You don’t think I haven’t spent this morning marvelling at how wonderful it feels to escape everything and just be completely happy and carefree with you? Jesus Kurt. For my supposed best friend you can be an insensitive bastard at times.” Sighing with exasperation, he turns and walks in the opposite direction, not knowing whether to feel relief or annoyance when he hears Kurt hurrying to keep up.

“Enough shopping. Let’s go back and dump our bags then take a walk.” Blaine nods his agreement and they hail a taxi. Neither one speaks until they’re walking along the Thames, the sun has come out at last and is providing much needed warmth to their faces. Blaine wonders if Kurt is waiting for him to apologize, but he’s not ready to yet. Being called emotionally dead has hurt him more that Kurt could probably ever realize. He’s not. It’s his parents who are, and for Kurt to say that it makes Blaine wonder in terror if he’s gradually morphing into his dad.

“You’re lonely and miserable?” Kurt asks softly after a while. Blaine stops, leaning on the wall and staring at the river traffic going by.

“A lot of the time, yes. But I’m not right now. I was really enjoying myself.”

“Me too.”

“Then why did you say that?”

“Because....because this morning, and during lunch it was....well it was perfect. And Ian, the wedding that never was...it didn’t cross my mind at all. Then I stood there in that store and it hit me. I thought I was going to have all that, and now I’m not.”

 

“So yet again you lashed out at me because you’re hurting.”

“Yes.” Kurt says in a small voice. “I’m sorry.”

“Please stop. Or at least try to."

“I will.”

“It feels so much better when we’re just letting loose and having fun, doesn’t it?”

“It really does.” Kurt smiles. Blaine pushes off from the wall and offers his arm to Kurt who takes it as they continue to walk.

"Do you think I'm like my parents?" Blaine asks hesitantly.

"What? No! God no."

"Because I think they're emotionally dead."

"They are. Oh fuck. Blaine, I am so sorry. I really, really shouldn't have said that." Kurt squeezes his arm tighter as they walk along. "You and Cooper....you two are nothing like them. I'm always amazed you've turned out as stable and well rounded as you have. And I even include Cooper in that statement. Honestly Blaine. Please, please don't ever compare yourself to them. I know they're not evil, they've never mistreated you or harmed you, but they have spent their entire lives carrying on as if you two don't exist, except when it suits them to parade you to business partners or friends with eligible daughters. They manipulate both of you with their money, and I am so proud that you made it on your own without their connections and cash. You and Cooper are good people, they are cold hearted and while I don't necessarily hate them, I can't say they're exactly my favorite people in the world either. I still remember you sat on your bed that first Christmas I was at Dalton, you had your suitcase at your feet and were waiting for them to arrive."

"They never did."

"No, because they'd decided to take a cruise instead, and they sent a message to the principal to pass along to you. Cooper got home from college to an empty house with a post it on the refrigerator."

"That was the first year we came to you."

"It was." Kurt agrees and they fall into silence once more.

"It was the best Christmas we'd ever had." Blaine says after a while.

"Mine too. And every year since. It's where you two belong. Now, see, someone who is emotionally dead wouldn't be looking at me with tears in their eyes right now, would they?" Kurt asks. He stops and turns Blaine to face him, brushing his thumb softly over his cheek when a small tear escapes and makes its way down his face. "Please don't ever listen to anything I ever say. I'm a dumbass. And a very apologetic one at that," he says with a small smile.

"Pub?"

"What?"

"Behind you, a pub. Come on, I've never been in a proper English pub before."

One drink turns into several as they sit in the pub garden and watch the glorious sun set over the city. By the time they decide to leave it is dark and both are more than worse for wear, deciding to walk in the hope it will sober them up. They bob and weave through the streets, giggling helplessly at anything and everything, none of which they will remember in the morning. Blaine tries to steal a bicycle, and manages to pedal a small way down the street before its owner comes running and Blaine falls onto the sidewalk with a crash. Helping him to his feet, Kurt laughs uproariously as they stagger away, still clutching one another, though how much of that is alcohol induced no one knows.

They turn onto a quieter street and their pace slows. Blaine keeps his arm wrapped around Kurt's waist and he keeps his arm slumped over Blaine's shoulders because it just feels so right.

"Y'know what?" Kurt slurs.

"What?"

"Fuck Ian."

"No thanks."

"I mean it!" Kurt says laughing. "Fuck him. I don't want him back. Not now, not ever. I have you."

"You do." Blaine guides them into the hotel, feeling he's perhaps the more sober of the two and smiles at the doorman. "We're on honeymoon," he tells him proudly.

"Very good sir."

"We're on honeymoon," he repeats to the receptionist and she smiles at him.

"Congratulations."

"Kurt, tell her. We're on honeymoon."

"We are," he confirms, then leans across the counter in an attempt to whisper conspiratorially. "Wanna know something though?" he asks as the poor girl recoils when the stench of liquor hits her square in the face.

"Um, I've a feeling you're going to tell me anyway."

"Yeah.....um......Marth. Is that your name?"

"It is."

"Well Marth, here's the thing. We're on honeymoon, but he's not my husband. Shhhhhh!!!" Kurt collapses in a fit of giggles as Blaine nods sagely.

"It's true. He left him at home."

"And Blaine is my secret lover."

"Yes!" Blaine shouts, his face lighting up like an eager puppy. "I'm his secret lover!"

"Okay. You guys might want to keep it down a little. Why don't you go upstairs?" Marth says trying to disguise her laughter at these adorable drunken fools.

"Yes!" Kurt declares, fisting Blaine's shirt and pulling him towards the elevator. "Lets go upstairs my secret lover and have loads of sex."

If Blaine had been anywhere near sober enough to become excited at this prospect, all hopes are soon dashed when he hears Kurt throwing up in the bathroom. He knocks on the door softly and sticks his head round, groaning when he sees Kurt slumped over the toilet bowl.

"Bed," he states, hauling him unsteadily to his feet and manhandling him onto the large bed. He removes his shoes and hesitates before fumbling to get his pants off too.

"Are we havin sex?" Kurt mumbles sleepily.

"Ha! You wish sunshine. No. I'm putting you to bed, but first you need to drink this, here." Handing him a bottle of water and two Advil, he tenderly holds Kurt’s head as he sips at the water and swallows the pills. He's asleep almost as soon as he lies down again and Blaine sits next to him, smoothing his hair before deciding he's probably being very creepy. He shucks out of his own clothes quickly and downs some water before sleep takes him too.

They wake the next morning, not wrapped in each others arms as the previous mornings, but tangled together in a sprawling mass of limbs.

"I don't feel so good." Kurt moans. "My mouth feels like it's been carpeted."

"Ugh," is all Blaine can manage as he struggles to untangle his legs and sit up. "My head." he moans.

"Mine's not too bad." Kurt says joining him against the headboard.

"That's because I gave you Advil before I put you to bed."

"You put me to bed?"

"Yeah. You nearly fell asleep in the bathroom."

"Did I proposition you for sex?"

"Yeah."

"Oh God Blaine, I am so sorry," a now mortified Kurt moans into his hands.

"Don't worry about it. I don't mind," he replies before blushing furiously. "I mean....I had so much fun yesterday...."

"Me too." Kurt lets his head fall onto Blaine's shoulder with a smile, and if Blaine happens to rest his head on top and sigh contentedly...well....what of it? "I can't remember much though," he admits, and laughs as he feels Blaine's laugh resonate through him.

"Me neither. But I do remember laughing. A lot. And attempting to ride a bike."

"So what's the plan today?"

"Bacon and eggs. Then it's up to you."

"No, yesterday was all me. Tell me why you'd like to do."

"Why, how very altruistic of you Mr. Hummel," Blaine teases gently and there is a small silence, during which Blaine allows his mind to wander, to wish that he could just roll on top of Kurt right now and kiss him until their lips were swollen and raw, until hearts were pounding and fingers intertwined as they move together and become one.

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"You were daydreaming. I said tell me what you'd like to do."

"Oh right. Well, there is one place I'd really like to visit, but I don't know if you'd...."

"Try me."

"The Tower of London. I came here with my parents when I was ten. My mom promised me the whole trip that we would definitely visit the Tower- the architecture of the buildings fascinated me even then. But we just never went. On the last day I mentioned it but she said there wasn't time. But there had been time, it's just she was too busy shopping and dad was in meetings. The nanny had come with us and we spent most of the time in Hyde Park."

 **  
**"Then to the tower we shall go." Kurt says with a flourish, and Blaine reaches for the breakfast menu before he does something he regrets.


	5. Chapter 5

It's as the plane leaves the runway that Blaine notices it. Kurt grips the armrest as they encounter some turbulence and Blaine tugs his hand into his own, lacing their fingers together tightly. Smiling to him gratefully, Kurt immediately rests his head onto Blaine's shoulder as has become their pattern over the last few days. Blaine looks down, admiring the way in which their fingers slot together so perfectly and the contrasting tones of their skin, when he realizes.

"You're not wearing your engagement ring."

"No."

"Since when?"

"Since we went on the boat trip yesterday. It may or may not have found it’s way to the bottom of the river.”

"Why?"

"Because.... Well. He's not coming back Blaine. I mean, sooner or later he will have to make contact- even if only via a lawyer- so we can decide what to do about the apartment, but he's gone. And I'm surprisingly okay with that."

"Really?" Blaine asks, the concern evident in his voice as tears form in Kurt's eyes.

"Yeah, I mean just ignore my crying right now, I am sad about it obviously. But the more I thought about it the more I realized, I don't want him. I'm sad it ended as it did. Ian was- is- a good guy, and I'm sure he will go on to find the right person for him. But I don't think we were it for each other."

"What makes you say that?"

"Us, yesterday. The day before, the whole damn trip so far. How much fun have we had together? I don't laugh like that with anyone else. Not ever. Now you could argue that it's because we've known each other longer, and we're best friends, but you could also argue that you should also have that connection with your life partner. And the talking. I mean, you and I have had our moments, and will no doubt continue to do so, but we talk them through. You can point out my flaws and I'm willing to work on them, and vice versa, but we just used to gloss over any arguments or disagreements- usually by having sex," he says, not noticing the way Blaine winces uncomfortably. "Don't get me wrong, we had a lot of fun together, and he was right for me at the time, but now this separation has been forced on me I'm starting to think that maybe it is for the best."

"He still went about it the wrong way." Blaine grumbles.

"Yes he did."

"I wouldn't treat you like that."

"What?"

"I wouldn't," he emphasises trying to cover his embarrassment.

"Well that’s irrelevant anyway because you're straight." Kurt says with a slight edge to his voice, and this time it's his turn to blush and look out the window. "Lisa left." he points out.

"She did." Blaine agrees, and he lets go of Kurt's hand much to his disappointment, but suddenly Blaine doesn't feel so affectionate.

"You've never told me what went on."

"No."

And Kurt senses he's not about to either so he shuts up. But his words replay over and over in his mind. 'I wouldn't treat you like that.' Why did he have to say something like that? Kurt needs to pull back from this situation slightly. He's let himself become too comfortable around Blaine these last few days, the affectionate hugs, the hand holding, and especially the sleeping in one another's arms, though Kurt isn't quite sure he's ready to let that one slide. He tries to ignore the way his breathing hitches whenever Blaine focuses those amazing eyes on him, the way his heartbeat quickens when he makes Blaine smile, and certainly the way he has to quickly readjust himself whenever he bends over. Yes, Kurt needs to get over this before he ruins everything. Blaine is being a good friend to him, nothing more, and he silently berates himself for ever hoping otherwise.

They land in Nice, and Blaine insists on going to handle the car rental while Kurt calls his dad. He groans when he sees Blaine pull up outside in a sleek Aston Martin with a huge grin on his face.

"It's a James Bond car!" he exclaims proudly.

"It looks like two guys taking a midlife crisis road trip." Kurt complains as he loads their bags.

"Maybe we are."

"Mid-life? Speak for yourself. We haven't even hit thirty yet."

"Come on, it's Monte-Carlo. We've got to look the part." And Kurt finds himself laughing as Blaine pulls on dark sunglasses and they speed away.

He's stopped laughing forty minutes later when they arrive at the hotel, his hair is in complete disarray and he's wondering if he’ll ever be able to tame it again.

"That's it Blaine," he huffs as they pull into a valet spot. "Roof up on all future trips. Especially to Bordeaux, it's a seven hour journey, I'm not going all that way being battered by the wind. I look a mess now. A complete mess."

Blaine hops from the car and runs around to open Kurt’s door for him, and despite his self made promise to stop flailing over him, Kurt can't help but feel a little giddy. Blaine really looks the part in his crisp white shirt, open at the neck and revealing some of that dark chest hair Kurt has come to love so much. Pushing his sunglasses on top of his head, Blaine pulls Kurt to his feet.

"For what it's worth, I think you look completely adorable," he says and kisses the tip of Kurt’s nose lightly. Both their reactions are immediate. Kurt's eyes go wide, and it takes every ounce of restraint not to grab Blaine's face and crash their lips together. Blaine bites his bottom lip and stares at the ground before looking back to Kurt coyly. "Sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay." Kurt says, unable to think of anything else and he walks swiftly into the hotel. As they arrive in their room Blaine excuses himself to the gym again, leaving Kurt to wonder why it always feels so awkward when they check in anywhere. He assumes the knowing looks and endless congratulatory comments from staff must be getting on Blaine's nerves. Falling back on the bed, he bites the bullet and picks up the phone.

"Hey, it's me."

"Kurt! Oh my god, how are you?" Rachel shrieks.

"Good, actually. Yeah. Mainly. You haven't had it yet?"

"Kurt, you'll know if I do. But no, it's going to wait until you're home."

"That's a very considerate baby," he says with a laugh.

"So where are you now?"

"Monaco. Just got here. Blaine's in the gym."

"And you guys are having fun?"

"Yeah."

"You don't sound too sure."

"No, we are. It's been really good to get away. I threw my engagement ring in the Thames yesterday."

"Oh my god Kurt. Are you sure?"

"Sure I threw it?"

"You know what I mean."

"Yes, it's over."

"Are you crying?"

"Maybe. A bit."

"Oh Kurt," Rachel sighs. "I know it hurts. Whenever a relationship ends it hurts but if you feel there's no going back then...."

"That's not why I'm crying."

"Why then?"

"I think....I think I have feelings for Blaine. As in, more than friends type feelings."

"Oh. That old chestnut."

"Hey!"

"What? We always go through this Kurt. Whenever you're feeling lonely, you project everything onto him and end up convincing yourself that you're hopelessly in love with him."

"Maybe I am."

"It doesn't matter either way because you’re not his type, but you need to stop doing this Kurt.”

“But...”

“No. Listen to me. You know, deep inside that it’s not Blaine you want. You love him as a friend and nothing more, the same way you love me. But just because he happens to be male you turn him into some object of fancy whenever you’re worried about being alone.”

“That’s not fair.”

“It’s perfectly fair. And accurate. You think you want Blaine because it’s safe. You know there's no chance there, so it’s okay for you to objectify him like that and fantasize about being with him because it won’t happen.”

“Shit.”

“I’m right aren’t I?”

“I think you might be.”

“I know I am. Just get over it, enjoy the rest of the trip with your friend, and when you get back you’ll be in a better headspace and be able to understand what exactly you do want. And I’m pretty sure it won’t be Blaine.”

He’s still in the same spot when Blaine returns, sweaty and flushed and Kurt forces his eyes away.

“Hey. So, I have something to ask you.” Blaine says, eyes shining with excitement.

“Sure.”

Removing his damp t-shirt and tossing it in the corner, Blaine climbs onto the bed and takes Kurt’s hand. “So....I was wondering if you’d let me take you out for dinner tonight?”

Kurt thinks he must have imagined the nerves in Blaine’s voice, and he’s surely reading too much into the way Blaine is biting his lip, eyes searching hopefully into his.

“Well we’ve got to eat.”

“I know that. I mean, like a proper dinner out. A date.”

“Okay,” Kurt replies and why- why is Blaine beaming at him like that?

“You mean it?”

“Sure. Why not? It’s not like it’s a proper date or anything- unless you’re planning on bringing a girl and have a hot guy lined up for me,” Kurt rambles on, “I mean, it’s just a date between friends, right? I do that with Rachel all the time. It’s fine. I’ll um...shower.” Slamming the bathroom door shut, he leaves Blaine to sit on the bed looking crestfallen.

The afternoon is spent wandering the streets of Monte-Carlo, and marvelling at the huge yachts of the super rich moored in the marina. They chat easily enough, but Blaine can't help but feel that Kurt is stand-offish, more guarded than usual- or more guarded than he has been recently anyway. It’s as if the Kurt that had been left behind in New York has made another appearance, and Blaine finds himself bewildered at this turn of events. His time in the gym had been spent running hard and fast on the treadmill as he planned his words over and over. He would ask him out on a date, he would. And then, over an exquisite dinner, he would tell him. But having seen the bizarre way in which Kurt had reacted, clearly wanting to stress to Blaine that tonight would mean nothing, he was left feeling that perhaps he wouldn’t bother.

Still, his heart skips a beat when Kurt emerges from the bathroom in a tuxedo, chewing nervously on his bottom lip and wringing his hands.

“You look stunning.”

“Thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself.” Kurt smiles tightly at him and touches his bowtie. “The last time I was in a tux I got stood up, so I’m glad you’re here at least,” he tries to joke.

Blaine drives them to the restaurant, which overlooks the marina and enjoys the way Kurt’s eyes light up as he takes it all in. “It’s beautiful,” he whispers, and Blaine smiles as he realizes his Kurt is back again. “Thank you, Blaine. You didn’t have to go to all this trouble, we could have eaten at the hotel.”

“I wanted to. And you’re more than worth it, to me.” he says, holding his arm out to escort him up the steps. Giving their names to the Maitre D, Blaine can’t help but smile at Kurt taking in all his surroundings. He always did like the finer things in life, and a five star restaurant in Monte-Carlo certainly counted as that. The waiter leads them towards a small table for two on the verandah with views out over the ocean and Blaine vows that come hell or high water, he is going to tell Kurt everything tonight.

“Is that your dad?” Kurt asks just as he’s about to sit.

“What? Where?” Blaine swivels his head, and sure enough, sat just a few tables over, is the unmistakable figure of Donald Anderson. “Shit.”

“You need to say hello.” Kurt prompts, urging a frozen Blaine forward.

“Dad?”

Donald looks up from his menu and into eyes that mirror his own. “Blaine! Good to see you. What brings you here?”

Kurt is amazed. Blaine hasn’t seen his parents in over a year, he knows. Yet the way in which Donald shakes his son’s hand so formally, you’d think he was greeting a business associate, not his youngest son.

“I uh...I’m on vacation with Kurt.”

“Ah yes, Kurt. Hello there.”

“Hello sir.” Kurt says and shakes his hand politely.

“So, Cooper’s running the business single handedly then.”

“He is.”

“How very trusting of you. Your mother should be around somewhere...here she is now in fact,” he says, standing as Susan Anderson walks towards them.

“Oh hello Blaine darling. How are you?” she says nonchalantly as she takes her seat, not bothering to wait for his reply before picking up her menu. “Did you order Donald?”

“Only the wine.”

“Uh...I’m fine. How are you? I didn’t know you were here.”

“Hmm?” she looks over her reading glasses at him. “Oh yes, your father bought a yacht. It’s just over there, third along from the left. Oh, hello Kurt.”

“Hello Mrs. Anderson. I think what Blaine means is he didn’t know you weren’t at home.”

“Well by the same token I didn’t know you were away either Blaine,” she says dismissively. “Anyway. It was nice seeing you both. Enjoy your evening.”

Blaine stands looking lost for a while, and like he may burst into tears at any second, before he hangs his head dejectedly and starts to walk away.

“That’s it?” Kurt says incredulously.

“That’s what?” Donald asks.

“You don’t see your son in over a year and all you can say is enjoy your evening? Don’t you want to know how he is, or what he’s been doing? What about Cooper? You haven’t even asked about his welfare.”

The Anderson’s look taken aback, but Donald smiles amiably at Kurt then flicks his eyes to Blaine. “How’s your wife?”

“Ex-wife. And I don’t know, I haven’t spoken to her.”

“That’s a shame. I liked Lisa.” Susan says, and it’s the first bit of warmth Kurt sees her elicit. “Maybe when we get back I could have a dinner party, invite a few of your dad’s clients and their daughters.”

“No thanks.” Blaine mumbles.

“You could do with meeting someone.” Donald interjects. “It doesn’t look good for a guy of your age to be single. People will assume you’re gay.”

“Well thank you very much.” Kurt snaps.

“No offense, Kurt. But they will. Especially as he hangs around with you all the time. Still, I heard you’re married now. He works for our rival company. Congratulations and all that.”

“Actually I’m not married, we split up. Hence the reason Blaine and I are on vacation together, this was supposed to be my honeymoon.”

“That’s nice. Well we would love to chat, but I’m completely starving, so do excuse us while we order. See you again.” and Susan Anderson holds the menu up to her face, effectively shutting them out, while Donald answers his phone.

“Come on.” Kurt says softly to Blaine, taking his hand, “We’re not staying.” he walks them out of the restaurant, tugging Blaine along gently and not noticing Donald watching them with concern.

“I’ll drive.” Kurt says and helps a still numb Blaine into the passenger seat. He is silent the entire way to their room and even lets Kurt sit him into a chair and remove his shoes. “So. Drink? Food? Tell me what you want.” but the silence that greets him is deafening. “Do you want to talk about it?” Blaine shakes his head. “Okay. Do you want me to call Cooper for you?” Another shake. “Okay, Here’s what we’ll do. I’ll order up a load of food. We’ll eat, drink some wine and then get some sleep. Tomorrow, first thing, we’re driving to the cottage. I reserved it from yesterday anyway, so it’s ready and waiting. I feel like we’ve seen enough of Monaco, don’t you?”

Blaine doesn’t answer, only looks to Kurt with such gratitude in his eyes that it almost breaks his heart. He pushes Blaine towards the bathroom to change and then sends a quick text to his dad while he waits for the food.

_I love you. I may not say it enough nowadays, but you are the best dad in the world, and I am so very glad you’re mine._

The response is almost immediate, and Kurt smiles through his tears.

**I love you too, and if I’m the best dad it’s only cause you’re the best son. I’m glad you’re having a good time. You sounded so happy earlier. Tell Blaine we say hi.**

Blaine emerges from the bathroom in his pyjamas and curls up in the bed, keeping his eyes trained on the wall and nowhere near Kurt. Of all the times, in all the places, it would have to be tonight. It always hurts, seeing his parents. It hurts to hope that things might be different each time and then to be left feeling so deflated when they're not. In fact, the older Cooper and Blaine get, the more distant they become, and Blaine often thinks that one day they might just cease contact all together. They had been slightly more involved when Blaine had gotten married- Cooper and his bachelor ways had been a source of endless disappointment to them and they had been very vociferous in letting Blaine know that he was expected to marry. But then the divorce happened and he had only heard from them twice since, and then tonight. The night he had been waiting thirteen long years for. His own fault really. He should know by now that any time he tries to plan anything special it always goes wrong. He swallows back tears as Kurt sets all the food out on the bed and pours him a large glass of wine.

“Here. It will take the edge off, help you sleep.”

“Thanks,” he murmurs, taking a large gulp.

“Are you gonna eat something?”

“Not hungry.”

“Well you should eat something. For me?” Kurt coaxes, but Blaine just shakes his head sadly. “I’ll let you have the top down on the drive tomorrow?” and Kurt feels a small glimmer of satisfaction when Blaine smiles slightly and reaches for some fries.

The tears come when Kurt turns out the light. He turns his back and tries to stay silent. Kurt thinks he’s crying for the encounter, when in fact he’s lamenting another lost opportunity. Another part of his life that they’ve managed to mess up for him and trample all over- however unwittingly.

“Blaine?” A soft voice and a tentative hand in the darkness are all Blaine needs before he breaks completely. Kurt pulls him close, pushing his head onto his chest and dropping soft kisses into his hair. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you. It’s okay,” he croons over and over until eventually his sobbing subsides and he starts to breathe normally again. Kurt sits up and flings his now soaked t-shirt to one side, the pulls Blaine back to him. “This okay?” he whispers, praying Blaine won’t notice the way in which his heart is pounding.

“Yeah. Just....hold me. Please.”

 **  
**“I will. I’ve got you Blaine, and I’m not planning on letting go.” Kurt says into his hair as his fingers trace patterns over strong back muscles. “Not ever.”


	6. Chapter 6

They leave Monaco as the sun comes up. Blaine slept fitfully, Kurt even more so as he tried to stay awake and comfort Blaine throughout. Consequently, Blaine insists on driving the first leg while Kurt grabs a much needed nap. He can feel the weight of his parents presence easing from his shoulders the further they get. The roof is down as Kurt promised and Blaine has left his hair gel-free so he can feel the wind in it. It's shaping up to be a scorching hot day, hardly ideal for driving such a long distance but Blaine is looking forward to two whole weeks of quiet country living. The only thing he's not looking forward to is the sleeping situation. He's shared a bed with Kurt for five nights straight, and he's reluctant at having to part from him now. It's ridiculous of course. When they get back home he won't even be in the same apartment as him, much less the same bed. But still, there's no denying that even with all the trials and tribulations the last few days have brought them, both have slept better in each others arms than they ever have before. 

Kurt shuffles in his sleep and turns to face Blaine, and taking advantage of the quiet road, he studies him on and off as he drives. His face holds a slight tan from the last few days of sun, and Blaine notices a smattering of freckles over his nose and cheeks, which makes him smile. He breathes lightly through his mouth, the tip of his pink tongue just visible behind those rose tinted lips which causes Blaine to gulp and fix his eyes on the road once more. The next time he looks he allows his eyes to travel down, taking in the graceful line of his neck, the smooth skin and the sharp angles of his collar bone. He longs to know what it would feel like to place kisses there, to dip his tongue into those indents and laugh as Kurt squirms beneath him. He wonders how Kurt would react if he were to mark him, to suck and bite at that perfectly pale skin until it was an angry red, a mark to show everyone that he was claimed by another. This trail of thought overwhelms Blaine so greatly that he turns into the next village, and parking outside a small bakery he nudges Kurt awake. 

“You want some food? Croissants?”

“Um...yeah...great. Thanks.” Kurt mumbles as he stretches. They switch after that, Kurt driving the rest of the way and Blaine naps for a short while but wakes up when Kurt squeals. 

“What are you, twelve?”

“Sorry. Just saw the ocean.” 

“So? You’ve seen it before.”

“I know grumpy, but look.” He pulls over on the narrow road and points, and Blaine has to agree it’s beautiful. It lies on the horizon, a huge expanse of glistening blue green water that stretches as far as the eye can see. Kurt drives further down the road which slopes slightly and they catch sight of a small sandy cove at the bottom of the cliff. The sat nav tells them to turn left and Kurt does so, driving through a tunnel of leafy green trees before coming into a clearing. A beautiful old stone cottage stands in front of them, painted white with sweet blue shutters it is a thing of fairytale beauty. Hopping from the car excitedly, the two men try the door and finding it unlocked, walk in. 

“Wow.” Kurt whispers and Blaine lets out a low whistle. It may have looked old and rambling from the outside, but the inside is entirely modern. A large open plan kitchen and living room greets them, with the far wall made entirely of glass affording spectacular views of the pool with the ocean beyond. Blaine sees three doors, assuming them to be bedrooms and a bathroom with the master bedroom above on a mezzanine level- also open plan so the occupants can lie in bed and watch the waves. 

“Nice.” Blaine says and wanders around while Kurt reads the note left by the owners. “So I’m gonna take this room here.” Blaine says opening one of the doors. 

“You...uh...you don’t have to.”

“No, it’s okay. You have the master. You hired the place after all.”

“I mean you don’t have to have your own room.” Kurt rushes out before he can over think the situation. “We could...we could still...um...share. If you wanted. I mean you probably don’t want. And that’s okay too, I mean I won’t be offended...”

“Kurt?”

“Mmm?” Kurt says, his voice much higher than normal as he waits for the inevitable rebuff. 

“I would really like it if we could still sleep together. Shit! I mean...”

“Me too.” Kurt grins and bites his lip, as Blaine looks down at the floor and wills his dick to behave.

“So, I’m thinking we should unpack then walk down to the village and buy lots of bread, cheese and wine.” Blaine says with a smile. 

“Sounds good to me.” Kurt agrees. 

By the time they arrive back both are ravenous so they sit at the small patio table and listen to the sound of the sea as the sun begins to set. Kurt pours more wine and eyes Blaine as he drinks. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah. Much. Thank you, for saying we could leave. I wouldn’t have wanted to ask.”

“I know.”

“I can’t wait to try that pool.”

“Yes, very considerate of me to think of your needs when choosing my honeymoon destination.” Kurt quips.

"Would you do things differently, if you had your time again?" Blaine asks, staring straight ahead into the gathering dusk.

If Kurt is taken aback by the sudden question he doesn't show it, thinking for a moment before answering calmly. "No. Well....maybe I wouldn't have wanted to go through all of this with Ian. I don't know, it's like, in my heart of hearts I've probably always known it wasn't right. But I don’t believe there's any point in harbouring regrets, these things ultimately shape the person we become." Kurt pauses, taking a sip of his wine and allowing the deep, rich taste to linger on his tongue before setting his glass down softly. "What about you? What would you do differently?"

"All of it." Blaine answers without hesitation.

"Everything?"

"Yep."

Kurt lets a long breath out, leaving Blaine's blunt answers hanging in the still summer air. "That saddens me,” he says eventually, and offers Blaine a small, regretful smile as he looks across the table.

"I don't mean you." Blaine says, then breaks the eye contact to rake his hands through his hair and swirl the dark red liquid in his glass. "Well, maybe I do. I don't regret our friendship, at all. I just.....I should have told you some stuff.....back then."

"You could tell me now?" Kurt tries, though he knows already the answer he will receive.

"No, I couldn't. Too much to risk...too much at stake."

"What?"

"Your friendship means everything to me Kurt. I can't risk losing that."

"You wouldn't."

"I might. And that's a chance I'm not prepared to take. Like you said, these things shape the person we become. I was weak then, and I'm weak now."

“What? That’s bullshit. You’re the strongest person I know. Do you have any idea how much I rely on you? I wouldn’t have gotten through these past few days if it weren’t for you. You're always so calm, so collected."

"Not necessarily true."

"You are though. Look at me. I was a blubbering wreck, yet when Lisa left you just seemed....so cool."

"That's different." Blaine argues.

"How?"

"You were upset, I was relieved."

"You wanted her to leave?"

"Yup."

"But why? I always assumed you were happy."

"Never assume, Kurt. It makes an ass out of you and me," he replies as he side eyes him with a small smile.

"Jerk," Kurt says fondly. "But if you weren't happy, why didn’t you leave her?"

“A long story.”

“Will you ever tell me?”

“Maybe. One day. If you pump enough liquor into me.”

“Okay. Tell me why she left you then.”

“Ha! You don’t beat around the bush, do you? You know why.”

“No, I don’t,” Kurt counters. “You told me she left because things weren’t working out. You never told me what things, or why they didn’t work out. You were only married fourteen months, did you even attempt to work at it?”

“Not really. Though that was due to an unwillingness on my part.”

“So?”

“So....” Blaine starts, then knocks back the rest of his drink before continuing, “I...I didn’t leave her because.....well....I didn’t want to let everybody down I guess. Her, my parents...everyone. They all saw us as this golden couple when in reality there was such a huge, dividing issue in our lives that we couldn’t overcome it. So we did what a lot of couples do I guess, we ignored it. Or tried to. But it wouldn't go away. In fact it got worse and worse until Lisa couldn’t stand it anymore and left. And I don’t blame her.”

“What? You argued?”

“No. Not really. We just never spoke about it. Life went on, life was even good much of the time. But we just never spoke.”

“Silence?”

“Hardly. No. We hated silence in case something unwanted crept in. No, we talked all the time, we just didn’t talk ‘about’ anything.”

“What, though?”

“Sex.”

“Oh. Out of my depth there, I’m afraid.”

Blaine laughs bitterly. “That’s the problem. So was I.”

“What?”

“I...ahem.....God this is embarrassing.”

“We’re alone in the French countryside Blaine, no one’s gonna know except you, me and those crickets.”

“I couldn’t......” he pauses, and even in the dim glow cast from the small outside light, Kurt can see how much it is paining Blaine to talk about this. His whole face flushes scarlet as he swallows repeatedly, eventually clearing his throat and playing with his now empty glass as he speaks. “I couldn’t perform,” he says quietly.

“Oh. Um.....ever?”

“I managed three times in three years.”

“Christ.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh shit Blaine, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that! I’m just surprised, that’s all. Did you see a doctor or anything?”

“No.”

“But if you only managed three times...didn’t Lisa know before you married?”

“I told her we should wait. She sort of pressured me into it the night we got engaged....and I was drunk enough that it happened. Then the same on our wedding night and once more....two weeks before she left me.”

“Drunk every time?”

“Yes.”

“But what about Quinn?”

“What about her?”

“You dated her in High School.”

“Yeah....the president of the celibacy club.”

“But she told everyone she took your virginity.”

“She did. In a way. I um...I managed to.....y’know....get it up. But I couldn’t finish the job.”

“Did you have full sex with her?”

“Um.....I suppose I did a bit, if that makes sense. As in.....I was in....”

“Okay, yes...” Kurt interrupts hurriedly.

“But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. It felt so wrong, I left.”

“Is that why she dumped you?”

“Yes. But she never told anyone.”

“Probably to save herself face. You can be damn sure it wasn’t to save you. So getting back to you and Lisa....The problem was what, exactly? You couldn’t get hard?”

“Well if anyone rubs you long enough you’re gonna....but I just....”

“Couldn’t keep it up?”

“No.”

“But you married her, knowing this?”

“It’s not just about the sex though. I figured things might improve on that front after a while. I liked her, she was pleasant enough and my parents felt she fit in well with the family.”

“She was cold.”

“You never liked her.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I have my reasons.”

They sit in silence for a while, Kurt trying to process everything as Blaine’s heart races. After a while, Kurt speaks, staring straight ahead to save his friend any more blushes.

“When we get back, I think you should see a doctor. Lisa is gone, I realize, but you’re twenty eight years old. You can’t go the rest of your life without having sex. What if you meet someone else, want kids?”

“I don’t want kids.”

“Not ever?”

“Nope.”

“Well even so....you should see someone.”

“I don’t need to Kurt.”

“Blaine, if you have a problem getting an erection there is medication that can help.”

“I don’t have a problem!” Blaine shouts exasperatedly as he resigns himself to the inevitable. “I get erections like any other guy. I wake up hard, I jerk off in the shower, I get off to porn...whatever....I just can’t have sex with girls......I’m gay, Kurt.” Letting out a half laugh, half sob, Blaine leans back in his chair and cries as alternate waves of relief and fright wash over him. Kurt stares, in total shock- lost in a world which seems to be spinning.

“What?”

“I’m gay.....Fuck......I’m gay and I have never, ever told anyone that before," he sobs.

“Well, clearly.”

“I’ve always been gay. I didn’t want to date Quinn. Hell, she wasn’t even a nice person to spend time with, but the star footballer needs to date the head cheerleader, right? It’s expected. Then all through college I just claimed to be too busy to date. Lisa and I were friends, and my mom just kept on about how now I was finished with college I should settle down- so I asked Lisa out. The rest is history.”

“But...why? I mean why didn’t you come out? Your parents are okay with me.”

“Shit. I know you’re going to hate me saying this, but I’m going to have to. They’re okay with you because you ‘look’ gay. You dress flamboyantly, people might say you’re camp, I don’t know. But you’re also not their son. In my family Kurt, you work hard at school, you get a good job, you marry a trophy wife and you produce a son. Those things make you a man.”

“I’m camp?”

“No. Not to me you’re not. I just mean...”

“I get it. I do. I guess it’s fairly obvious that I’m gay. But not so with you. Right?”

“Yeah.”

“But you never told me. Is that what you meant when you said you should have told me stuff back then?”

“Partly.”

“Partly?”

“I think I’ve said enough for one night. It’s late. We should probably get to bed.”

“You always do this Blaine!" Kurt yells, "Just when I think I’m getting somewhere with you, you put the walls up again. You have just told me the biggest secret ever, the one which you’ve been keeping to yourself your entire life. There can't be anything bigger.”

“To me there is.”

“Oh for fucks sake.” Kurt cries impatiently. “Either tell me or don’t. I think I’ve given up caring now.”

“I’m in love with you Kurt........I’ve been in love with you since the moment I spotted you on that staircase at Dalton. I’ve been in love with you since we were fifteen years old. I loved you then, I love you now and I will go to my grave loving you.”

Kurt is silent. Unmoving and his face unreadable as he stares at Blaine. Emboldened as he feels the burden of his secret lift from his shoulders, Blaine carries on.

“I was too weak, to scared to come out. Too worried that I would finally lose what precious fragmented relationship I did have with my parents. Too scared that I would be bullied like you were, thrown from the football team and laughed at, ridiculed. It’s always been you, Kurt. Always. But then you met Ian and you seemed so happy. And people thought I was dating Lisa so I upped that pretense a little bit more. Then you moved in with him....and I knew I had lost you. I guess I had long before that really, but that was when I knew for definite. So I married her, hoping I could be a good husband and just manage to get through life being your best friend and loving you from afar. But I couldn’t. Because every time I closed my eyes, you were there. When I climbed into bed at night, I wished you were next to me, and the same when I woke. When Lisa tried to initiate anything I tried desperately to close my eyes and imagine her hand was yours...”

“Don’t.” Kurt cuts him off. “I don’t want to hear that. You’ve said enough.”

"Kurt...."

"I think....I think I need some time to process this. It's a lot to take in one night."

Blaine nods, his insides churning and he bites back tears as he realizes he may have lost Kurt forever.

"I'm going to go up." Kurt continues. "We can talk tomorrow."


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt walks out onto the patio and stands, hands in pockets as he watches Blaine swim a relentless front crawl up and down the pool. He notices Kurt on a turn and stops, pulling off his goggles and lifting himself from the water. He nods a silent greeting as he walks by, and Kurt deliberately tries- but fails- to stare at the flagstones and not at the water droplets making their way down Blaine’s chest. He turns to say something but Blaine is gone already, so he sits at the table and tilts his face to the morning sun, already high in the sky. He doesn't know how long he sits, but he is roused when Blaine wordlessly sets a cup of coffee down in front of him, and Kurt notices that he’s showered and dressed though his hair is left damp. He sits opposite, in the same position as he had the previous evening and stares at the ocean, calm and peaceful in the still air.

“So,” Kurt begins, “You didn’t come up last night.”

“No.”

“I missed you.” he says, looking to him briefly before tracing his finger around his coffee cup.

“I didn’t know if I’d be welcome.”

“Neither did I.”

The silence lingers once more. Blaine is desperate with worry, fear of being asked to leave, or worse, of being told his friendship is no longer welcome.

“So....I have some questions.” Kurt says, the tone of his voice somewhat brusque, but Blaine is just relieved that there are questions and not a cold instant dismissal.

"Okay."

"Last night was a bit of a shock to say the least. Did you mean everything you said?"

"Yes." Blaine answers, his gaze steady and unwavering as he looks across the table.

"But...um....I don't know how to put this, and I don't want you to be offended, but are you sure you're gay? As in, are you attracted to men, or is it just that because you're around me a lot you wonder what it would be like to sleep with me? Does that sound incredibly arrogant?"

"No, not arrogant, and yes, definitely gay."

"And you've always known or...."

"Always I guess, but I'll admit that at first I thought I was just curious, and then I thought maybe it was just because I shared a room with you. But it's not just you. I am physically attracted to other men. When I watched straight porn I would find myself staring at the guys, imagining it was me sucking them off or whatever. And when I finally gave in and looked at gay porn, I guess I was about seventeen, it was the hottest thing I'd ever seen. I wanted to do that stuff and I wanted that stuff done to me in return. I can look at a woman in a magazine and think her pretty, or admire her beauty, but I look at a guy and...and feel, I guess is the best way to describe it. Ugh, I'm probably not making any sense."

"It makes perfect sense, Blaine. I have to ask though, have you ever had sex with a guy?"

"No."

"Have you ever even kissed another man?"

Hanging his head, Blaine feels like he's a fifth grader again as he whispers "No."

"But why? You've been single these last two years. You can be as anonymous as you want in New York. What was stopping you going out and picking up someone in a club to experiment with?"

"Because I wanted that someone to be you, Kurt." Blaine says, the hint of tears playing in his voice as he speaks.

"And if my wedding had gone ahead?"

"I wasn't ever planning on telling you."

"Ever?"

"No. It wouldn't have been my place."

"So...what? You were just going to live with the secret of your sexuality the rest of your life? Get married again?"

"No. My marriage failed because I am gay, although she doesn't know that. I'd already decided I wouldn't put me or anyone else through that again. But I don't think I would ever have come out. I'm still not sure that I will....other than to you obviously."

"But don't you want someone to share your life with?"

"Of course. I told you, I'm lonely and miserable a lot of the time."

"But you want that someone to be me?"

"Yes."

"I wouldn't want to be with someone closeted. I mean, I wouldn't ever force someone's hand, but I wouldn't consider a relationship with them."

"I wouldn't be if I was with you," Blaine whispers hoarsely. "I'd be so proud that you were with me that I'd want everyone to know," he says, his voice so earnest and pure that Kurt blinks back tears as he looks to him.

"Blaine.... Shit. This isn't going to be easy, for me to say or you to hear."

"I know, Kurt."

"No, I don't think you do. And I need to explain, so just hear me out, all the way to the end."

"Okay."

"It's always been you for me too. I have loved you since the very same second you loved me. I have prayed, wished and dreamt that one day you would tell me you loved me in return, and now you have. But....I don't know if that's what I want. I feel, honestly, that you betrayed me. I was just a teenage kid desperate to be wanted, needed by somebody, and it could have been you all along. But it wasn't. Because you always said you were into girls. And you weren't like Wes or David about it, you were always more reticent- but when we moved to McKinley and you dated Quinn.....I felt that every day Blaine. It was pushed in my face and every day it was like a punch in the gut when I would see you two coming down the hallway holding hands. I just assumed the fact you didn't really mention girls around me was to spare my blushes, not to cover up your own.

So I gave up. I pushed all thoughts of you to one side and convinced myself that it was better to have you as a friend than not at all. I moved on, dated other people, met Ian. Your wedding day, that night? I had my first row with him. He wanted sex. I wanted you. I couldn't go near him and I spent the night on Rachel and Finn's couch crying until dawn."

"Rachel knows?" Blaine asks through a cascade of tears.

"Rachel thinks I project my feelings of loneliness onto you. Maybe she's right. But I think it's the other way around. I think I project my feelings for you onto others, because I've always thought you out of reach, and now I'm hearing that's not the case. And I'm hurt. I'm hurt that you never talked to me about this. I shook head to toe the first time I had sex, and wished, so much that it was you I was learning with. We wasted thirteen years being with others when we could have been together."

"I am so sorry Kurt." Blaine says brokenly, and Kurt’s tears start to fall as he struggles to speak.

"I know....but I just don't know what we do now. I don't know if I can....if I can give myself to you....like that. You lied to me."

"Because I was terrified Kurt. My parents...their opinion on gay people is that it's okay for them, but not for us. You were so confident and sure of who you were, even when you first arrived at Dalton. I know you were broken but your spirit was still in tact. Throughout all the shit they threw at you, you held your head up high. I could never do that. And I was so scared that if I ever told you I'd just get rejected, and it would kill me. But now, I feel like I've got nothing left to lose except our friendship- but I just....if nothing else.....I want to stay your friend. You say I lied to you, and yes. I did. But you know, you weren't honest with me either. You never gave me any clue of how you were feeling, and I had to watch you date different guys over the years, I had to feign enjoyment over dinner with you and Ian. It's not that he was a bad guy, it's just that he had you. But I did it. I went through all of it because I thought you were happy. The dishonesty has been on both sides Kurt."

"So where do we go from here?"

"I don't know." Blaine sighs heavily, the weight of the world pressing down on his shoulders once more. "Do you... Do you think there might be even a small chance...?"

"I want there to be. I want to be able to fall into your arms and kiss you until I can't breathe, but I just don't know if I can do that right now. Or even at all."

"I understand."

"You and me....we want different things out of life Blaine. You want the biggest and best architecture business in New York. You want money in the bank and smart cars to drive, in fact you have all that already."

"So do you," Blaine points out.

"I know. But only because I happened to have got lucky and found a natural talent at interior design. But it's not what is going to ultimately make me happy. I want a husband. I want the little picket fence and the kids playing in the yard. I couldn't give a damn how much money I have or whether I drive a Lotus or a Volvo, I just want someone to love me."

"So there's no hope because someday you'll want all that and I won't?"

"Pretty much."

"I may not want marriage again, or kids, but I'm still just as desperate to be loved. Aren't relationships about compromise?"

"I can't compromise on that Blaine, I just can't. But neither do I think I can ever be with someone else again without knowing I've at least given us a chance. Jesus. This is a mess!" he cries exasperatedly, and he pushes back from the table and runs.

Blaine doesn't bother calling out after him, instead he takes a moment to gather himself before following the path to the beach, where he sees him watching a boat move slowly across the horizon. The small cove is deserted, and for that Blaine is grateful. He sits on the sand next to him and draws his knees up to his chest in an identical pose. Kurt picks non existent bits of lint from his shorts before he wordlessly leans his head onto Blaine’s shoulder. Resting his own head on top, Blaine reaches for his hand and laces their fingers together tightly.

“Friends?”

“Always.”

Nothing more is said, both are content to sit and listen to the waves gently lapping at the shore and watch the seagulls circling overhead. Maybe this is how it will always be, Blaine thinks to himself with a twinge of regret. He knows he only has himself to blame, and really, ultimately he must accept it, as he has accepted so many things with Kurt over the years. Because having Kurt in his life, even if it means spending the rest of his life lamenting what could have been, is better than having no Kurt at all.

“Swim with me?”

“I hate swimming," Kurt mutters.

“I know. But swimming in the ocean is something you don’t get to do very often.”

“I never have.”

“All the more reason to try then,” Blaine says standing and brushing the sand from his shorts. “Come on.” Kurt squints up at him, seeing only his shadow with the sun streaming behind. Somewhat reluctantly, he accepts the hands being proffered towards him and allows Blaine to pull him to his feet.

“We haven’t got any towels.” Kurt tries, but Blaine isn’t buying any of his excuses.

“It’s like a two minute walk back to the house. The sun will dry us before then anyway.”

“I might burn.”

“You’re fair skinned Kurt, you’re not a vampire. Leave your shirt on if you’re that concerned,” he calls over his shoulder, and tossing his own shirt onto the sand, he walks right into the sea.

“Is it cold?” Kurt calls, tentatively holding the hem of his t-shirt.

“No, it's wonderful.” Blaine dives under the water and surfaces, smiling and shaking the water from his hair. “You’ll love it.”

Standing right on the shore, Kurt removes his shirt and lets the sea wash over his feet but moves no further. Blaine swims back to him, looking like some kind of adonis as he emerges from the ocean. “Here,” he says, offering his hand once more.

“I don’t...these shorts...they’re not swimming shorts.”

“You could always take them off.” Blaine says, grinning when Kurt looks at him in disbelief.

“I can’t believe you just said that!” Kurt laughs.

“I will if you will.”

“Not a chance. Go swim, I’ll watch from here.”

“I want you to come.”

“I’m happier watching.”

“And I’m happier watching you.” Blaine says and in one swift motion, throws Kurt over his shoulder and runs into the sea. He could throw him, but he’s pushed his luck already so he sets him down on his feet gently. Kurt is surprised by the touching gesture, and also by the warmth of the water. It laps around their waists, and Kurt can't resist flicking some towards Blaine who bats him away.

“Swim to me.” Blaine calls as he kicks away on his back.

“I don’t swim too well.”

“Sure you do, I’ve seen you swim before. Come on.” And Kurt finds himself wanting to please, enjoying the way Blaine smiles as he dives under the water and tries to catch him up. Blaine stops a way out and treads water, waiting. He arrives, breathless but exhilarated- not even caring about his hair falling flat on his head and dripping into his eyes.

“I can’t stand up!” he shrieks as he tries to touch the floor. He panics slightly but Blaine is quick to pull him into his arms.

“It’s okay, you’re safe.”

“I don’t like deep water. It scares me.”

“Let’s swim back in then.” He tugs Kurt along next to him, both smiling at each other shyly. “Try now.”

Kurt stands, the water is now up to his midriff and he visibly relaxes, but keeps his hands on Blaine’s arms, enjoying the way in which his biceps move under his skin as he holds Kurt’s waist.

“Better, thank you.” Kurt smiles. “That was fun though. I’m glad you carried me in, I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.”

“You’re so beautiful Kurt,” Blaine whispers, his eyes intent and sincere. “Can I say that?”

 

“You just did.”

Blaine opens his mouth to say something but stops when Kurt raises a shaking hand to cup his cheek gently.

“But that’s okay, because I happen to think you are too.”

It seems like an eternity, but slowly, hesitantly, Kurt moves his hand to the back of Blaine’s neck and pulls him closer. Eyes open and searching the whole time, they both lean in and ever so gently Kurt brushes his lips over Blaine’s.

They both gasp quietly, Blaine looking down at the water, embarrassed by the sudden range of emotions coursing through him. “We should...we should walk back. Get some lunch,” he rasps. Kurt nods dumbly and follows him silently from the ocean and along the path.

It’s his turn to feel afraid as he worries he’s pushed too far. But despite all he’s said, despite all his head is telling him, his heart knows he wants this man more than any other, consequences be damned.

“Blaine!” he calls from the patio and watches with dismay as his shoulders slump before he turns to him, one hand braced on the door.

“You didn’t mean to. I know.”

“I did mean to,” he says, advancing toward him and taking his hands. “But you ran away just as things were getting interesting.”

“Oh?”

And this time Kurt is more forceful, taking Blaine’s face in his hands and kissing him hungrily. His arms flail helplessly for a second, before Blaine kisses back just as urgently, eyes closing and strong hands gripping Kurt’s back, because this is Kurt. Kurt kissing him like he will never get enough, like he means it and wants it, and it’s everything Blaine has dreamt of and so much more. He gasps into Kurt’s mouth as their tongues meet, his hands moving to his face as they devour one another. Thirteen years of passion and pain are trying to manifest themselves in one kiss, a kiss which neither ever wants to break, Eventually, reluctantly, they pull apart, still holding one another’s faces in their hands and panting hard. Their eyes mirror each other in intensity, blown black with hunger and desire. Kurt beams, positively beams as he looks at Blaine.

“I love you.”

And Blaine smiles through tears of joy as finally everything falls into place.

 **  
**“I love you too.”


	8. Chapter 8

Blaine surges forward and kisses him again, and when Kurt moans into his mouth his hands tangle into wet chestnut hair as they stumble against the glass door, the sharp smack bringing them to their senses. 

"Sorry." 

"S'okay." Kurt says blissfully.

"Well this is weird."

"Good weird?"

"Definitely." Blaine says, smiling at Kurt’s lips before he claims him again. Things quickly become heated, with Kurt breaking away to trace kisses along Blaine's jaw, enjoying the way in which he whimpers softly. But all too soon he's pulling away again, seemingly embarrassed once more. 

"I...um...need to stop." Blaine says and Kurt pulls his lower lip between his teeth when he notices the bulge in his shorts, but decides not to say anything. 

"Okay. Would you like to use the bathroom first? Then we can get lunch." 

"Yes please," Blaine bursts out and takes off at breakneck speed through the house as Kurt laughs to himself and heads back outside to sit on the grass. He feels positively giddy, kissing Blaine was everything he imagined and more, but he's also worried. Kurt has fallen. He fell thirteen years ago. But he's been hiding behind walls of doubt ever since. He wants- so much- to just relax into this, to just let things evolve naturally but he's already panicking about returning home. Mentally cursing himself for always being such a pessimist, he forces those doubts to the back of his mind and lies back, closing his eyes and replaying their kisses over and over. 

A shadow falls across his face and he sits up to see Blaine standing above him, looking perfect as ever in a light blue button up and beige shorts. 

"Wow."

"What?"

"You take my breath away." Kurt says, getting to his feet. 

Blaine smiles at his feet and rubs the back of his neck. Placing a soft touch to his arm, Kurt walks away to the bathroom, returning ten minutes later to find a picnic lunch spread out under a parasol, Blaine sat on a large plaid blanket smiling softly. 

"This is perfect," Kurt says as he crawls across the blanket to him, he leans in for a kiss but Blaine turns away and busies himself with the cheese plate. "No?" 

"I just....I'm not sure where this is going, that's all." Blaine says, the worry evident in his voice. 

Kurt moves to wrap his legs around Blaine’s waist, pressing himself into his side. “Neither am I,” he confesses. 

“Are you scared?”

“Petrified. When you leave the room this panic sets in and I have to question why I’m letting this happen. But then I see you and it all makes perfect sense. And when I kiss you, it’s like....there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“So...what then?”

“I don’t know. Maybe....maybe we just see how things go, now we’re aware of one anothers feelings?”

“Yeah. I guess that’s best. I think it’s too early to define anything- it’s not even been a week since the wedding that never was.”

“I really want to kiss you again.” Kurt says suddenly, directly into Blaine’s ear and making him shiver. 

Turning to face him, Blaine traces over the light stubble on Kurt’s cheek as he speaks. “I think I’ll allow it.”

Their lips seem to fit together perfectly, as if they were made for each other, and when their tongues intertwine Blaine has to shift yet again as his shorts grow tight. He’s not shared many kisses, and they’ve all been with girls of course. But this is altogether new and exhilarating. Every nerve in his body seems to be on fire as Kurt tugs lightly on his curls, and he finds himself gently pushing Kurt’s shoulder to lie back on the blanket as he rolls on top of him and their kisses grow deeper and more urgent. Kurt, for his part, has never felt more turned on in all his life. An image flies into his head, one which he’s had many times before, of Blaine- naked and wanting, arching his back as Kurt thrusts into him- and he grips Blaine’s shirt that little bit tighter as he bucks upward. 

“Oh!” a shocked Blaine gasps as their hard cocks push together through their shorts. He rolls from Kurt and onto his back. “I can’t...” he starts and then wills himself to man up and just tell him exactly how he feels. “Kurt...I just need to take things really slow.”

“Says the man who’s dry humping me into the picnic blanket.” Kurt says, but there’s kindness in his eyes as he hovers over him propped on one elbow. “That’s okay Blaine. I don’t think we should rush anything either..... But I guess we know where this is going,” he adds with a smirk. 

“I’m worried I’ll really embarrass myself.”

“More than when Nick and Jeff caught you jerking off in the common room?”

Blaine groans and lets his head fall back on the grass. “Oh God. I’d tried to put that out of my mind.”

“I still don’t know what possessed you, but I remember being livid that it hadn’t been me who walked in.”

“It was your fault. You’d just asked my opinion on those gold pants.”

“Really? That’s why? Oh my God Blaine!” Kurt laughs and joins him on his back. “I thought you hated them! You just mumbled something at me about them being fine and left. That’s why I didn’t wear them again until Rachel convinced me they’d be good for the audition.”

“Which is when I sprinted to the bathroom as soon as you’d finished singing.” Blaine points out. “It was even worse when you were dancing in them.”

They laugh together then Kurt props himself up again, a thought having occurred to him. “I still have them.”

“Fuck.”

“Do you do that often?”

“What?”

“Get off thinking of me.”

“Um....I really think I’d rather not answer that right now.” Blaine says as his cheeks flare red. “Lets just eat and decide how we’re going to spend the rest of the day.”

“Because I think of you.”

“Okay. You’re killing me.” Blaine says, and picks up a large piece of bread and shoves it in Kurt’s mouth. “Better,” he says with a smile. “So this afternoon we could drive into Bordeaux, do a bit of sightseeing?”

“You luff ugagr.” Kurt manages around a mouthful of bread. 

“Excuse me?”

“I said you love the car.” he say as he swallows.

“I do. Maybe you and the car are my midlife crisis combined.”

“Oi!”

And things are back to normal again as they exchange teasing banter between throwing pieces of cheese into one another’s mouths. But maybe they’ve always had the relationship of a couple, Kurt thinks as they twist and turn through the narrow country roads to the city. Maybe it really is as simple as adding the the physical intimacy it needs to become a fully fledged relationship. His mind wanders back to earlier, to Blaine admitting his fear of embarrassment. The problem is, Kurt feels completely terrified too. He’s seen Blaine in various states of undress over the years, and has spent five nights buried against his bare chest. He knows, all too well, the feelings which Blaine elicits in him- he’s just not sure if he can let them show. 

Bordeaux is fascinating. They wander the streets together, browsing various boutiques and stopping at a small cafe for coffee. Blaine worries he might be boring Kurt as he takes endless photos of various churches and the Place de la Bourse, but he reassures him that isn’t the case. 

“Y’know, you might even be able to put some of these pictures on your wall.” Kurt says as Blaine angles the camera this way and that. 

“Come here and smile for me.”

“No.”

“Then I won’t be putting any pictures on my wall,” he says sadly. 

“Oh okay,” Kurt sighs, and he turns to Blaine and strikes a pose, one hand on his hip and the other reaching out towards the building behind them. Blaine snaps away before Kurt stops him. “Hold on.”

He approaches a group of tourists and fires something off in rapid French, then returns with one of them and gives Blaine’s camera to them. He puts his arm around Blaine’s shoulder and pulls him close. “Smile,” he says with a soft kiss to his temple- and Blaine does just that. 

Picking up their walk again, Kurt lets his fingers brush gently against Blaine’s- looking sideways to try and gauge his reaction. His heart soars when Blaine smiles and laces their fingers together and they browse a street market holding hands as if it was completely natural and their hearts weren’t really hammering in their chests. 

Blaine cooks for them that evening. It’s a meal full of coy glances and shy smiles, of twinkling eyes shining in the candlelight and shared laughter as they reminisce about their years at school. Kurt declares himself completely stuffed and sprawls on the couch, feeling elated when Blaine shuffles between his legs and leans back onto his chest. They sit quietly, Kurt’s fingers tracing along Blaine’s collar bone, dipping down into the v of his open shirt every so often. 

“Kurt?”

“Mmm?”

“I just want you to know, today has been the best day of my life.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I’m glad. Kissing you has to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.” Kurt says with an upside down kiss to his forehead.

“I know we said we wouldn’t define this...” 

“You said that.” Kurt points out.

“Okay, I said that. But the thing is....”

“I want to be your boyfriend.” Kurt finishes. 

“You do?”

“Yes. Fuck it Blaine. We’re adults, we know how we feel about each other, and I honestly couldn’t care less what other people think. I love you, and I want us to give this relationship a try.” 

“I want nothing more, but it’s just...”

“Sex?”

“I don’t think I can right now.”

“I’m not asking you to. I understand Blaine, really I do.”

“But you still want to give us a go?”

“Yes.” 

Blaine grins up at him and reaches up to pull him into an upside down kiss that doesn’t really work but feels amazing nonetheless and they lapse into a contented silence once more. 

“So, I have to ask, why didn’t you like Lisa?”

“I don’t know. The whispered ‘he’s mine now’ as she passed me at your wedding reception probably didn’t help.”

“She said that?”

“Yes. I think she was always jealous of our friendship. Probably because you two didn’t have the same. I tried with her, I really did. But...well she was too much like your mom for my tastes.”

“You’re saying I married my mom?”

“Not exactly,”

“Thank you Freud.”

“No!” Kurt laughs. "Hear me out. I think she wanted to be just what your parents wanted you to have. She was happy to be that trophy wife, to have a couple of cute kids she could leave with Nannies before packing them off to boarding school in a few years while she flitted between the Hamptons and Manhattan and having an affair with the pool boy no doubt.”

“Puck?”

“Behave. She knew she was onto a good thing with you. I’m not saying she didn’t want you...well actually I think she just wanted your sperm.”

“Ew!"

“I do. I don’t think she would have been faithful in the long run. She would have been discrete of course, anything to keep her in the style to which she had quickly become accustomed.”

“That’s true.”

“Look how much she tried to take you for when you divorced. And if my dad hadn’t forced you to see that lawyer you would have just given it all to her.”

“I just wanted her gone. I couldn’t look her in the eye.”

“But the fact that she went so willingly speaks volumes to me. If your partner is having problems in the bedroom department you try and work it out together, not go skipping off into the sunset with two cars and a holiday home in Palm Springs”

“She did try and initiate things, I told you.”

“But she didn’t talk to you about it, or try and get you to a doctor. I know you’ll always defend her Blaine, because you’re a good person and I’m not, but I’m glad she’s out of your life.”

“I just think she wasn’t as heartless as you’re making out.”

“Why did you sleep with her just before you split?”

Blaine pauses in thought, sitting up and turning to look at Kurt. “To try and convince myself that this wasn’t happening. That these feelings for you were just a figment of my imagination. One last ditch attempt at playing the straight guy, though it was futile."

"I know you said that thing...about her hand...." Kurt pauses, clearly uncomfortable. "But when you....were doing.....that.....with her....were you thinking of me?"

"Ricky Martin."

"Excuse me?"

"I thought of Ricky Martin." Blaine says simply. Kurt looks at him in disbelief before bursting out laughing.

"Oh god, I don't know whether to be relieved or offended!" he cries as he wipes tears from his eyes.

"It's not funny!" Blaine protests, but he's laughing equally as hard. "You were too close for comfort. It had to be someone completely out of reach."

"Ricky Martin!"

"What about him? He's hot!"

"Well....I guess I wouldn't turn him down..."

"What? I'm telling you now Kurt Hummel, if he comes knocking you're sending him away. You're taken."

And the laughter dies down as Kurt winds his arms around Blaine's neck. "I like the sound of that. Let's go to bed," he whispers huskily.

"It's early."

"Then we can spend a good couple of hours making out and thinking of Ricky," Kurt jokes, tugging him up the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

They quickly fall into a routine of sharing long, lazy kisses on waking before Blaine goes for a swim. More kisses are exchanged over breakfast which Blaine likes to eat from the comfort of Kurt's lap and Kurt marvels that even having crumbs dropped down his torso doesn't bother him because it’s Blaine. Their days are spent walking along the coastal paths arm in arm until they find a bar or cafe, exploring the little towns and villages nearby and the excellent markets. They have been at the house for five days when Blaine suggests the beach again.

"I don't know, it's really hot today." Kurt says as they stand looking out at the sea, the glare from the sun almost blinding even with sunglasses on.

"Yes, but it will break tonight I think. Come on, we can go in the water, cool us off. And I'll even rub lotion on you if you're lucky," he says with a wink.

It's all Kurt can do to suppress a moan as he follows Blaine down the path. He has always loved the sassy, confident side of Blaine, it turns him on more than any other, but that's the problem. And he knows Blaine is the same. Their make out sessions invariably end with one or the other of them running to the bathroom, returning in a few minutes with flushed cheeks and unable to make eye contact. But despite his now growing fondness for his right hand, he is still horny as hell- for Blaine. And Blaine will insist on wandering around with no shirt on a lot of the time. His torso has turned a deep golden brown, and Kurt finds himself desperate with longing when Blaine moves just so and he sees the tan line around his waist. He needs to see those white bits like he needs air. But he stays true to his word, never rushing, never pushing, always respectful of Blaine's boundaries and continued utterances about taking things slow.

"Jeez!" Kurt hisses as his bare feet touch the sand. "That burns."

"Lets go over there, by the rocks. It's shaded."

Kurt settles down with his book but Blaine fidgets restlessly next to him. Sighing, he rests his book on his knees and looks at him over his glasses. "Just go swim."

"Is that okay?" Blaine asks, but he's already on his feet.

"Of course it is. You don't need to wait for my permission."

"You coming in?"

"Later. I'll just stay here and watch you," he says, adding "being ridiculously, unbearably hot," once Blaine is firmly ensconced in the sea. In the end he has to look away, simply unable to stand anymore and conscious of the lone dog walker who seems to have found their way down to the secluded cove. He lies flat on his back, eyes shut and making mental plans to call his dad tonight and maybe Rachel too, though he's sure he would have heard if any baby had arrived. He can hear the dog yapping further down the beach and the waves coming in, and thinks he's possibly never felt more at peace. How strange to think that ten days ago he was jilted and now he finds himself looking at the whole episode with barely a twinge of regret. He had expected to miss Ian, but he doesn't. At all. In fact, he's not paid him any mind at all other than when his name has come up in conversation. His heart and head are full of Blaine, and at that very moment he drops down next to him, a few drops of salt water splashing onto his face as Blaine leans over to kiss him.

"Sorry," comes the hasty apology as Blaine wipes his face gently with a towel.

But Kurt doesn't mind at all, bringing a hand to the back of Blaine's neck and tugging him on top of him as they kiss passionately, his tongue immediately finding Blaine's and a low growl coming from his throat as he runs his hands over his back. He is hard within minutes, his fingers tangle into thick wet curls as Blaine moves to his neck, daring to scrape his teeth over the delicate flesh and suck lightly.

"This okay?" Blaine whispers hotly into his ear and Kurt can only moan as he forces Blaine's lips back where they were. This time he sucks harder, running his tongue soothingly over the marks he's created. "I've never done that before," he admits with a small smile.

"It's hot," Kurt answers and pulls Blaine back to him, turning his head so he can return the favor.

"Fuck!" Blaine cries as Kurt nips at the sensitive skin. Gripping the blanket tightly, he tries not to collapse completely on top of Kurt as he works his magic. "Shit that's good," he breathes, and unconsciously thrusts downwards as he does so. He stills almost immediately, and Kurt braces himself for the mumbled apology as he rolls to his side, but it doesn't come. Instead, he fixes those deep honey eyes on Kurts bright blue ones and grinds down again, feeling Kurt's hard cock rub against his own. "Holy shit."

Kurt's hands grip that perfectly tight ass and urge him forward again, the drag of Blaine's wet shorts creating the most delicious friction as he slowly but repeatedly grinds against him. Kurt's lips find his again as he shuts his eyes, completely overwhelmed with pleasure. "Kurt I don't think.....I can't stop."

"You don't have to," he says sweetly, pausing a second to cup Blaine's cheek. "We can do whatever you want, but if you are going to want to stop, I need it to be now."

"I just....it feels so good." Blaine replies, grinding down again, building a delicious rhythm.

"It does." And Kurt rises up to meet him, doubling the pleasure for both of them.

"I won't last."

"Neither will I. Blaine, I love you."

"Fuck," Blaine cries as he grinds faster and harder. "I...fuck....love....aah!" he shudders hard on top of Kurt, fisting the blanket beneath them as his longed for orgasm rips through him. He collapses onto his elbows, trying to see straight, and conscious that Kurt is still hard beneath him.

"I...what do you..."

"Touch me."Kurt replies and guides his hand to his clothed cock. Blaine's fingers, trembling yet firm, gripping him tightly through his shorts are all it takes for Kurt to throw his head back as he comes, silently gasping and digging his fingers into Blaine's shoulder.

"Fuck." Blaine grunts again as he lies on his back next to a blissed out Kurt.

"You okay?"

"Yeah.....amazing." he grins. "I haven't....well I haven't ever come that hard before."

"Me either."

"Serious?"

"Yeah. I guess this is what they mean when they talk about finding 'the one.'”

Blaine doesn't answer, because he can't. He just turns onto his side and busies himself running grains of sand through his fingers in the hope Kurt won't notice the grin splitting his face in two. He looks up again when he hears a dog barking and Kurt sits up.

"Fuck! I totally forgot they were here!" Kurt exclaims and then bursts out laughing.

"They've been here the whole time?"

"The guy and his dog? Yeah."

"Great. My first time with a guy and I get a voyeur watching the whole damn thing."

"You don't know he's a voyeur! He was just walking his dog. Anyway, we can't help it, it just...happened."

Blaine sits cross legged on the blanket and smiles before leaning over to kiss Kurt’s cheek. "I think I'd like it to keep happening."

"Me too." Kurt smiles back, "But right now I need to do something about these shorts."

"Wash it off in the sea." Blaine says, dragging Kurt to his feet and towards the water. "Come on. We can give Jean-Pierre another show."

Kurt is more confident in the water this time, splashing Blaine and laughing as he ducks under and swims through Kurt’s legs. As soon as they spot the walker leaving the beach, Blaine is upon him. He drapes Kurt’s arms over his shoulders as they kiss lazily, never seemingly able to get enough of each other.

“I don’t want to go home,” Blaine whispers against his lips.

“Well we’re not just yet.”

“I know. But this...this is just incredible. And I don’t ever want it to end.”

“It’s not going to end though, is it?”

“No,” Blaine starts then sighs before voicing his concerns. “You’re a different person in New York. This guy, right here, wrapped in my arms, is the Kurt I wish you could always be. But I’m different too. I’m all work and no play.”

“Then let’s make a pact,” Kurt decides. “That no matter what, this is how we will be together. We will make time for each other, to spend our evenings wrapped in each other rather than buried in work. And no matter what anyone thinks of us, we will keep each other in the center of it all.”

“I think Cooper will be okay.”

“Of course he will. And although Finn and Rachel will be shocked, they’ll be good.”

“What about your dad?”

“Hmm. You’ll probably be subjected to the ‘hurt my son and I’ll hurt you’ routine, but I think you know him well enough by now to know he’s just a big softie.”

“What about me being gay?”

“What about it? None of them will care. They love you because you’re Blaine. Why would your sexual preferences make any difference to them?”

“I don’t think my parents will be the same.”

“Which is why we will deal with everyone else first. And then we’ll tell them. And I’m going to be with you, right by your side, through all of it, okay?”

“Okay. I’m scared.”

“I understand that,” Kurt says softly as he caresses the back of his neck tenderly. “We don’t have to tell anyone anything until you’re ready.”

“You said you wouldn’t be with anyone closeted.”

“I know. But then I realized how desperately I want to be with you, no matter what.”

“But I meant what I said, I’m so proud to be able to say you’re my boyfriend. I love you so much.”

“And I love you. Now. You’re going to help me perfect a handstand.”

* * *

They return to the house to shower and change and deciding the afternoon sun is too hot, drive to a nearby mall where Blaine heads straight for the sports stores, surprised when Kurt follows him, declaring he’d rather be by his side than browsing the boutiques.

“I might buy a canoe.”

“You have got to be kidding me. Good luck with getting that on the plane.”

“I didn’t think of that.”

“You can hire them anyway, we drove past the sign on the way.”

“Will you come with me?” Blaine asks excitedly.

“I swear, this is so not how I envisaged my vacation.”

Blaine looks a little hurt, but tries to act nonchalant as he examines the tennis racquets. “How did you then?”

“Oh I don’t know, sitting by the pool with a book, occasionally venturing out to buy more wine and cheese. Instead I’m on some kind of action and adventure break.”

“How very sociable of you. And swimming in the sea does not constitute action and adventure. Seriously, you were going to spend your honeymoon reading? I thought Ian liked sports too.”

“He does. I just would have sent him off on his own, that’s all.”

Blaine stops dead, a rugby ball in his hands as he raises an eyebrow. “So what’s different?”

“I don’t think I was in love with him.”

Blaine says nothing, just wordlessly replaces the ball and tugs Kurt from the mall and into the car.

“What are we....” Kurt starts, but Blaine just drives and Kurt gives up. Blaine turns from the main road, switching off the sat nav as it yells its protest, and takes them down a narrow country lane, pulling over to let a tractor pass. “Please, Blaine, you’re scaring me.”

“You weren’t in love with him?” he asks, cutting the engine and turning to face him.

“No.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I’ve always been in love with you. There’s been no room for anyone else. I’m not proud of it, but I used him, and others, to try and get over you. But now, when we’re together...I know what it actually is to love......And be loved in return.”

Kurt is quite unprepared for the ferocity with which Blaine attacks his lips, but he responds just as eagerly nevertheless, trying to shift into his lap but only succeeding in knocking the gearstick repeatedly.

“Damn stick cars.” he mutters, then yelps as Blaine vaults into the back seats and pulls Kurt with him. “Blaine! What...oh shit!” he cries as his t-shirt is pulled from his head and Blaine immediately places hot kisses along his collarbone. “Fuck Blaine...I....you have to tell me....what you want....”

“You.” comes the instant response as he removes his own shirt and lies back against the soft leather seats. “I just want you to touch me. Please,” he all but begs and Kurt swallows nervously.

“Sure?”

“Yes!” he moans, “So sure. The only reason I’m not begging for your cock in my ass is because this car is so damn small.”

“Oh my god.” Kurt laughs at hearing Blaine speak like that with no trace of embarrassment and kisses him again before moving to his belt buckle. “Holy shit you’re not wearing underwear!” Kurt exclaims as he opens Blaine’s fly. “And fucking hell you’re huge.” he adds as he reaches into Blaine’s shorts and wraps his fingers around his cock.

Blaine moans as Kurt starts to stroke him, running his thumb over the slit to gather his pre come and smear it around his length. Throwing his head back with a yell to the blue sky above them, Blaine tries to stop his legs shaking as he feels his orgasm approaching like lightning. "Kurt....Kurt....just....holy fuck!"

"Let go Blaine."

"I can't." Blaine moans, "Too soon."

"We can do more later," Kurt says as he caresses his thigh with his other hand, and he's rewarded with another moan. He increases his speed, and it is only a few more seconds before Blaine is coming over Kurt’s fingers, slumping backwards onto the seat as Kurt fastens his shorts once more.

"Shit, I came embarrassingly quickly." Blaine says softly, cheeks tinged pink and eyes shut tight.

"No you didn't. Listen, that's the first time any guy has done that to you, right?"

"Right."

"So the first time I got a hand job I literally came the second the guy put his hand on my belt- he didn’t even touch me," Kurt laughs. "It happens. Feelings overwhelm you, and that's okay. Don't berate yourself for it."

"What about you?" Blaine asks, gesturing to the now slightly less noticeable bulge on his shorts.

"We can work on me later," he answers with a wink. "If you want to I mean....we don't have to."

"Kurt." Blaine says firmly, pulling him into his arms in the cramped back seat. "Stop being so damn considerate. I'm not gonna break. I want you. I want to touch you, to feel you, to taste you. I want..."

"Okay, seriously, stop. We're parked in a pullover in the middle of France. I'm not sure how receptive French farmers are to sex acts taking place in their fields."

"Okay," Blaine laughs. "Let’s go."

* * *

Blaine is right, and that night they lie in bed and watch dark storm clouds rolling in across the ocean, jumping as they see the lightning and then hear the ominous thunder clap.

"It's gonna be a big one." Blaine observes.

"As the Bishop said to the choirboy," Kurt quips and Blaine laughs softly. They while away most of the evening like this, Blaine sat in his favorite position, in between Kurt’s legs and leaning back onto his chest. They speak occasionally, mainly observances on the weather, the heavy rain now lashing at the windows as the storm lies directly overhead. Reluctantly extracting himself from Kurt’s embrace, Blaine goes to use the bathroom, surprised when he returns to find the lights out and a bowl of candles flickering on the dresser.

“Did the power go out?”

“If it had you would have been plunged into blackness while having a pee.”

“Oh yeah.”

“I just thought this was more romantic.”

Blaine quirks an eyebrow and crawls across the bed towards him. “And why would you want to romance me?”

Kurt smiles as he lies on his side next to him, the candles flickering shadows over his face and making his amber eyes even more breathtaking than usual. “Because our two ‘encounters’ so far have been delectable, but frantic. Mainly because we’ve been in public. But there’s a lot to be said for taking your time.” Kurt whispers the last part as he kisses him softly, slowly, allowing his hands to smooth over Blaine’s biceps as he runs his tongue over those full lips.

“Is there now?”

“Hmm,” comes the answer, as with a mischievous glint in his eye, Kurt removes his shirt, Blaine- of course- having not worn one all evening. “A light touch just here...” Kurt whispers as he brings Blaine’s hands to his nipples, “A sweet kiss just there...” he kisses behind Blaine’s ear, “Or here...” as he kisses down his chest, enjoying the soft whimper, “Or even here..” as he moves to the end of the bed and kisses his ankle. “All these kisses and caresses, carried out with the utmost care and attention, can reduce even a hardened guy like me to a quivering mess. Jesus Blaine,” he continues as he runs his hands up his strong legs, under his shorts until he reaches his thighs, “So much to explore. So much skin to be touched, kissed...”

“Tasted.” Blaine finishes for him as he pulls him into a deep kiss. Running his hands lightly over Kurt’s toned, defined abs, Blaine stops at his waistband. “Can I?”

“Of course.”  Kurt smiles and falls onto his back as Blaine carefully removes his shorts.

“You have a tan line,” he observes with a smile as he dips to kiss across Kurt’s stomach, swiping his tongue into his belly button and making him squirm. “Can these come off too?”

“Yes.” Kurt almost moans as Blaine’s eyes, hungry with desire, burn into his. He tries not to let his nerves show as he runs his fingers along the waistband of Kurt’s briefs, but it’s still a trembling hand which finally removes them, then adjusts himself as he catches his first glimpse of what he’s fantasized about for so long.

“You’re beautiful Kurt. So amazingly, breathtakingly beautiful.” Lying next to him, he takes his time to study his body. He has seen him shirtless before of course, but now he really takes his time to notice how strong his arms are, his chest which has gained a light golden glow from their time in the sun, is defined and his abs taper down to a slim waist and jutting hip bones which Blaine has to lean down and kiss. Treasure lines too, which Blaine runs his tongue along, taking him lower and lower until he sees Kurt’s cock, thick, long and hard lying flush against his stomach. Blaine runs his hand over it a couple of times experimentally, looking up to see Kurt with folded arms behind his head, looking down at him. He moves up again, gently cupping Kurt’s face and kissing him gently.

“So?” Kurt asks, hand resting on Blaine’s belt, and he nods, wanting more than anything to feel his naked body pushed against Kurt’s. “And you thought I had tan lines?” Kurt smiles, as Blaine’s hips and pelvis show up stark white next to his darkened skin. “You don’t know how long I have waited to see you like this,” he murmurs, smoothing his hands over the dark hair on his thighs.

“About thirteen years I’d guess.”

“Yeah,” Kurt breathes. “Fuck. I love your chest so much,” he groans as he leans to lick around one nipple and then the other. “I never thought chest hair would be a thing for me but fuck, yours is gorgeous.” He nuzzles his way down the trail leading to his rigid cock, twitching slightly as he feels Kurt’s breath on him. Keeping his eyes trained on Blaine’s face, he leans in and kisses the tip gently.

“Ah!” Blaine says softly. “Kurt, I really...just come here a second.”

“You okay?” Kurt asks as he hovers over him, his face full of concern.

“Yeah, more than okay. I just...never....in my whole life have I lay with someone completely naked.”

“Never?”

“No. And I really just want to hold you.”

It’s all Kurt can do not to cry at the wide eyed innocence as he falls into Blaine’s arms. There’s no denying the emotion flowing through both of them as they lie together, chests pressed close, legs intertwined and hard cocks pushed against each other. They say nothing, just look into each others eyes as Blaine gently runs his fingers through Kurt’s hair and smiles softly.

“I want to feel you in my mouth,” he whispers, Kurt nodding his silent encouragement. Positioning himself between Kurt’s legs, he takes hold of him, stroking a few times before gently running his tongue around the head.

“Fuck.” Kurt whispers as his fingers tangle into curls. Spurred on, Blaine sucks gently around the tip, the bitter taste of Kurt only making him want even more. He licks a strip from the base back up to the head before sinking his whole mouth down, trying not to choke when Kurt’s hips buck wildly. “Holy shit!” Kurt cries out as he gently guides Blaine’s head, trying to keep as still as possible.

Blaine loves it. It’s as though Kurt is consuming his senses, and the more he tastes the more he wants until he finds himself hollowing his cheeks so Kurt’s dick hits the back of his throat. He pulls off to run his tongue around him once more, looking up and catching Kurt watching him, pulling a swollen lip between his teeth in anticipation. Sinking down again, he hums in pleasure as he feels a sharp tug on his hair.

“Blaine...” Kurt tries to warn, but Blaine keeps licking, sucking, tasting and driving him closer and closer to the edge. “Jesus Blaine you’re so fucking hot!” Kurt moans, and the low gravelly tone of his voice soon has Blaine reaching between his own legs to stroke himself hurriedly. “I’m gonna...” and Blaine swallows every last drop of his orgasm as it spills deep into his throat, running his tongue over the head once more before pulling off and grinning up at him.

“Wow.”

“Oh we’re not done,” Kurt states, and guides Blaine to sit on the edge of the bed as he kneels between his legs to return the favour. Blaine finds himself moaning, and almost on instinct he tangles his fingers into Kurt’s hair, and when Kurt fondles his balls it's all over as he comes hard, the feeling of his boyfriend swallowing around him instantly becoming his favorite sensation.

“Holy fuck!” he cries as he falls back onto the bed, an almost lifeless mass of limbs.

 **  
**“Yeah.” is all Kurt can manage in return, stumbling to the dresser and blowing out the candles before falling into Blaine’s ready and welcoming arms.


	10. Chapter 10

Kurt wakes to feel Blaine running his hands almost reverently over his bare backside, and smiles as he remembers they're both still naked from the night before. He turns silently and pulls him in for a long kiss before guiding him through giving his first hand job, which leaves them lying on their backs grinning at each other.

"The best way to wake up." Kurt smiles.

"You're not disappointed?"

"Waking up completely naked with you? No."

"I mean because we haven't...."

"No, I told you. I don't want to rush things either."

"I just don't think I'm there yet."

"Which is fine, because we're both here. We will know when it's right. Honestly Blaine just this," he says gesturing between them, "the cuddling, the exploration, is enough for me."

"I love you," Blaine says simply, grinning across at him. "Shower with me?"

"You're not swimming?"

"Not if you're going to accept my offer." he says with a wink, and Kurt bounds from the bed and hurries to the bathroom, where he sinks eagerly to his knees under the spray.

The weather is cooler, and after begging, pleading and cajoling, Blaine convinces Kurt to drive to the Aquitaine National Park, where they hire bikes and cycle through the dense forest for hours. Kurt makes Blaine drive home, claiming his legs may never work properly again.

"Did you enjoy it though?"

"Yes." Kurt admits begrudgingly, "But don't ever tell anyone."

Blaine laughs, "Your secret is safe with me. Tomorrow is all yours. Tell me what you want to do, where you want to go and we'll do it."

"I'd quite like to see La Rochelle, but it's a good two hour drive."

"In this car? Ugh, such a hardship." Blaine teases. "Let’s do it."

They cook dinner together that night and afterwards they lie opposite each other on the hearth rug and play chess, something they haven't done since their Dalton days.

"No sulking when you lose, Anderson," Kurt says as he muses over which piece to move next.

"I only used to sulk because the loser would have to do a forfeit."

"As they will tonight."

"Ugh," And pushing himself further up onto his elbows, Blaine tries to pay attention. But it's hard when Kurt is opposite, chewing his lip when he's deep in thought, the tip of his pink tongue emerging as he finally makes his move. Anyway, Kurt is deadly at this game, in all the times they've played Blaine has only ever won twice. Although this game is going surprisingly well for him, he can see a few moves ahead and thinks a check mate might be on the cards if Kurt plays as he thinks he will.

"What's the forefeit?" Blaine asks smugly as Kurt studies the board.

"Loser has to grant whatever sexual favor the other decides upon."

Sweeping his hand across the board and scattering the pieces far and wide, Blaine raises one eyebrow to Kurt. "Looks like I lost." And he crawls over to him quickly, pressing his full weight on top of him as they share urgent, raw kisses and undress each other hurriedly. "What do you want?" he whispers hotly as he pulls his earlobe between his teeth. "Anything."

Kurt pulls back and looks at him darkly, there is so much he wants, so much he cannot wait to try, but right now, given Blaine's talent with his tongue, there's only one thing on his mind. "Have you ever been face fucked before?"

"I'm gonna let you think about that question for a minute." Blaine says with a smirk, pulling Kurt into his lap and continuing to kiss every part of his smooth skin he can reach.

"Sorry. Okay, rephrase. Do you know what it is?"

"Of course. Porn is very educational."

"Can I?"

"Yes," comes the eager response, Blaine's eyes wide with longing. "Where do you want me?"

"Sit back against the couch." Kurt says decisively, "And if it's too much, tap my leg and I'll stop okay?"

"No, don't stop."

"I haven't started yet."

"I know but....I want you to be rough with me. Take control."

"Kinky bastard," is all Kurt says as Blaine sits on the floor, back against the front of the couch and starts to stroke himself slowly.

"Fuck yeah.....and talk to me Kurt.....like that."

"Yeah? Dirty boy are we?"

"Mmmm."

"Dirty boy who wants his face full of my dick, huh?"

"Yes! God yes!" Blaine moans.

"Stop touching yourself." Kurt commands as he stands astride Blaine's hips, his rigid cock level with Blaine's ready and willing mouth. "Lick it."

Blaine's tongue comes out and licks a long strip up the entire length before circling over the head, closing his lips around the very tip and swallowing the bitter pre come. "You taste so good."

"Open."

Gripping his hair tightly, Kurt pulls Blaine's head back before pushing just the head of his cock into the warm wet heat and thrusting shallowly to start. Blaine eagerly takes him and moans in the back of his throat, closing his eyes as he allows Kurt to maneuver him how he wants.

"Shit you look good like this," Kurt groans, running a finger along his jaw, watching it stretch as he pushes further in. "Think you can take all of me?"

"Mmmm."

Kurt rests his knees on the couch either side of Blaine's shoulders, leaning forward to rest one hand against the back as he slowly drives his long length into Blaine’s mouth, groaning when he realizes he has indeed managed to take the lot.

“Jesus Blaine, fuck. You look so good with all my cock in your mouth. Gonna fuck you now, okay?”

There is no answer of course, just a pair of hands rising to squeeze his ass and urge him in and out. He starts slowly, not wanting to make him gag, but the feeling is so indescribably mind blowing that he quickly builds up pace, listening to Blaine breathing heavily through his nose as he moves one hand to his own dick and strokes.

“Yes, baby, that’s it,” Kurt encourages, "Touch yourself for me. Fuck......You take me so good. Shit. Want me to come?” he asks and looks down to see an almost implausible shake of Blaine’s head.

“Not yet? Like having your face fucked huh? Are you a slut for my cock Blaine?”

“Mmm, mmm,” comes the strangled response. Blaine can feel spit dribbling down his chin and onto his chest, his lips are stretched achingly wide, but it feels so good to have Kurt dominating him like this, using his hair as leverage to get off in his mouth. The thought that soon this will be his ass sends Blaine stuttering over the edge as he comes all over his hand with a muffled cry. His orgasm only makes Kurt thrust harder and deeper as he feels his own approaching.

“Fuck Blaine, yes....just.....fuuuuck!” he cries as he pushes as deep as he can and spills into Blaine’s mouth before pulling back slightly to allow him to swallow. Falling to the floor next to him, he watches as Blaine massages his aching jaw. “Did I hurt you baby?”

“No, nothing I didn't want to happen I promise.” Blaine says with a sweet kiss to his cheek. “C’mere.” Pulling him into his arms they settle onto the rug, Kurt wincing when he rolls onto a couple of chess pieces. They lie contentedly together, listening to the distant sound of the waves through the open window. Eventually, Blaine speaks.

"I want to do that to you someday."

"Ha! You'll be lucky. I don't relinquish control easily."

"Exactly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means maybe you need to learn. You don't find it easy to trust people, to let others guide you. I want us to be able to give ourselves to each other completely."

Kurt sits then, pulling at a loose thread on the rug and avoiding eye contact. "I am trying, Blaine."

"I know you are," he says kindly, smoothing his hand along his back.

"I just.....I don't think I've ever let someone in that much."

"Neither have I."

"Even this.....between us.....it's a lot for me."

"Because you don't trust me?"

"I do trust you!" Kurt counters quickly.

"But you still feel I betrayed you."

Pausing, Kurt chooses his words carefully before continuing. "No. I understand why you did what you did. Although it upsets me that you put yourself through all those years of denial and trying to be hetro just because you didn't think you would be accepted."

"What, then?"

"It's just....I know I'll never be enough for you," he says sadly.

"What? That's not true."

"It is Blaine. I know that no matter how hard I love you, no matter how much your brother and my family love you, it will never be enough. Because ultimately you still need their love to be complete."

"My parents?"

Kurt nods.

"Bullshit!" Blaine explodes, getting to his feet and pulling on his shorts. "I have you, I have all I've ever wanted. And I can't believe you're turning this into my issue! I only mentioned that you might like to try letting me be in control sometimes- and I was talking about the bedroom! My parents are nothing to do with me or my happiness."

"Oh they are Blaine," Kurt says softly, looking up to him with a gentle smile.

"They are not! Jeez, since I was born I've never been wanted by them, other than as a trophy to parade on certain occasions. What other three year olds do you know who get five thousand dollars in their trust fund for their birthday? They couldn't even be bothered to get the nanny to buy presents on their behalf. Don't fucking tell me I need them for my happiness because they have never made me happy at all!" he yells as he stomps up the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

"To bed," comes the gruff reply.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!" Kurt yells as he charges up the stairs and pulls back the covers. "I only meant that there's something missing from your life that I think will only come from them....and I hope you find it eventually I really do. In the meantime I'll still be here, loving you always." Finishing the sentence softly, Kurt perches warily on the edge of the bed and takes Blaine's hand uncertainly. "Please don't fight with me."

"You started it," he answers petulantly.

"Blaine, please. I saw how hurt you were that night in Monaco, the way they treated you was appalling and you were understandably upset. I'm not saying they make you happy, I'm saying that I hope one day they will, or you can find closure in some other way."

"Through being with you?"

"I'd like that.....but I think it will be something more."

"You're wrong about one thing."

"What's that?"

"That night.....I wasn't upset we'd seen them. Well, I was, but that's not why I cried."

"Oh?"

"I wanted to tell you, that night. I wanted to tell you that I loved you. I wanted it to be our first date and I had it all planned out in my head- I thought that in years to come we'd look back and say 'Oh do you remember that night in Monaco, when we first kissed.....' I just....it was this little fantasy I'd cooked up and I wanted it to be perfect, and then it wasn't."

"Oh Blaine," Kurt sighs as he takes him in his arms. "It may not have happened how you wanted, but it did happen. And not every couple can say their first kiss was as magical as ours actually was."

Blaine offers him a small, trembling smile. "We still haven't had a proper date."

"There's time," Kurt smiles and kisses the tip of his nose before snuggling down in the bed. "I don't like it when you yell."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have pushed it."

"Yes, about your control issues...." Blaine laughs playfully and then kisses him until their worries fade away.

* * *

Their tensions are forgotten the next day, and when Kurt eventually arrives downstairs it is to find breakfast already laid out and a grinning Blaine, freshly showered after his morning swim, packing vast amounts of food into a picnic basket he's located.

"We can go as soon as you're ready," he says with a lingering kiss to his lips. "Everything's ready, you just need to bring yourself. And a suit."

"I need to wear a suit?"

"No, bring one in the car, we can change later."

"Why?"

"I'm not telling you."

Kurt opens his mouth to argue but Blaine walks away, refusing to be drawn on any details. The drive to La Rochelle passes quickly as they chat animatedly about how they want to spend the rest of their break, Blaine already lamenting the fact that he will have to return the car, and making Kurt laugh as he vows to buy one as soon as he's back in New York.

They stroll around the city hand in hand, and although there are perhaps a few more raised eyebrows than there would be in New York, neither cares as they are too wrapped up in each other. Taking a boat trip to nearby Fort Boyard, Blaine takes endless photos of Kurt staring out over the water, teasing that he's only interested in the architecture of his cheekbones. Dusk starts to fall as they wander around the harbor arm in arm and Blaine suggests they head back to the car to change.

"You gonna tell me what we're doing? Cause I don't change into suits in the back seats of cars for anyone y'know," Kurt teases.

"I'm taking you on a date."

"Did you ask?" Kurt huffs in mock annoyance, his eyes twinkling with delight.

"Kurt, would you please allow me the very great honor of taking you on a date this evening?"

"You know, that would have come over a whole lot better had you not been struggling to get your pants on," he laughs.

"It's a stupidly small car!"

"Shhh! She'll hear you!"

"Anyway," Blaine says, puffing slightly as he tucks his shirt in, "What's your answer?"

"Why Mr. Anderson, I'd love to." Batting his eyelashes, he dodges the poke to his ribs that Blaine is aiming at him and finishes dressing, the pair emerging a few minutes later and making themselves presentable. "Where are we going?" Kurt asks as they walk past the parade of restaurants and head to the harbor again.

"There's this little floating restaurant I've heard of, does the best seafood in the region apparently. Well, according to trip advisor anyway."

It turns out trip advisor is correct, and Blaine has to surreptitiously dig the heel of his palm into his crotch as Kurt full out moans when he tastes the lobster. The evening is perfect, the small boat is lit with strings of fairy lights which dance and shimmer on the water. Gazing at him adoringly, Kurt finds himself blinking back tears as he reaches for Blaine's hand.

"This has been perfect. In fact this whole trip has been perfect, but this is the best date I've ever been on."

"I'm glad." Blaine smiles back, "And yeah, it has been a pretty awesome trip. And we've still got Paris."

"We have."

The rest of their days at the house pass all too quickly. They hire Kayaks, much to Blaine's exhilaration, and spend an afternoon on the river- again Kurt marvels at how much he enjoys himself. Shopping and sightseeing are interspersed with lazy afternoons on the beach or in their pool as evenings are spent giving endless amounts of pleasure to one another. Blaine finds his sexual confidence growing, surprising Kurt when he hoists him onto the kitchen counter and blows him, a habit that is quickly becoming his favorite pastime. On their last night, Kurt stands at the still open glass doors, the warm evening air gently fanning his face as he looks at the moonlight. A strong pair of arms circle him from behind and he sighs deeply and leans back onto Blaine's shoulder.

"Swim with me." Blaine whispers in his ear.

"Now?"

"One more time. Come on. It'll be fun," he answers as he grabs two towels.

"I guess my strokes could use some work," Kurt says with an innocent shrug, and takes Blaine's hand as he leads them down the small path to the beach. "I thought you meant the pool."

"No," Blaine answers simply. "So......" Tugging Kurt towards him by his belt loops he kisses up his neck to his ear, "I don't think these are swimming shorts."

"They're.....they're not," he gasps as Blaine unfastens them quickly and cups Kurt's balls, squeezing lightly.

"I think they should come off."

Kurt just nods and whimpers slightly as Blaine strips him before dropping his own shorts to the sand. Taking Kurt's hand he pulls him towards the water, walking in without hesitation, giving Kurt no option but to follow suit. He keeps going until the water comes up to his shoulders, and sensing Kurt's nerves he pulls him near.

"I've got you," he whispers, and lifts him easily and wraps his legs around his waist. Kurt immediately wraps his arms around Blaine's neck, arching towards him slightly as he feels the strong, reassuring touch from warm hands splayed on his back.

Inclining his head, Blaine kisses him slowly, teasing him with his tongue as he grazes over Kurt's lips but pushing no further, pulling back to kiss softly at Kurt's jaw, moving to his neck when he throws his head back. Kurt is hard already, and from the way he's pressed against him, he can feel Blaine growing too, making him growl low with desire as he feels Blaine biting into the soft flesh of his neck.

"Holy shit that's good," he moans as Blaine tilts his head up slightly for another kiss, those strong hands running up Kurt’s spine and making him shiver. The kiss is raw this time, the teasing having given way to Blaine's full on passion as he runs his fingers through Kurt's damp hair and their tongues swirl together. Moving with the rhythm of the gentle waves, Blaine rubs his now hard cock against Kurt's as they claim each other in a series of never ending kisses.

"Shit Blaine, oh my God!" Kurt cries, digging his fingers sharply into his shoulders as they rub against one another.

Blaine is silent, his mouth busy trailing across Kurt's sharp collar bone, dipping his tongue into the hollow at the base of his throat, tasting the salt water and enjoying the way in which he cries out. Running one hand down over Kurt's smooth ass, he squeezes roughly, pulling him closer as they continue their slip slide rhythm together. He trails a finger along Kurt's crack, looking up at him for confirmation, eyes dark yet shining with the reflection of the moon.

"Yes," comes the whispered response to his questioning eyes, and Kurt bows his head onto Blaine's shoulder as he circles his entrance lightly. Swallowing over his nerves, Blaine pushes gently and is rewarded with a moan against his neck as he works one finger into Kurt's hole, revelling in the feeling of him clenching tightly around him. "Blaine......." is all Kurt can manage as he works himself up and down on his finger, and Blaine boldly adds another, guessing he's doing it right by the way in which Kurt keens and arches back slightly.

Kurt leans down again and kisses him, moaning into his mouth as a third finger is added and Blaine stretches him wide. He crooks his fingers, searching, hoping he's doing it right, and when Kurt yells a loud "Fuck!" he knows he's got there and he can feel Kurt's legs start to tremble around him.

"I....Blaine.....I......"

"Yes, yes," Blaine murmurs into the crook of his neck as he continues to finger him and Kurt pushes against him harder, their cocks aligning perfectly and making Blaine gasp.

"Oh fuck!" Kurt cries as he comes with a yell, and Blaine follows, the feeling of Kurt's hole clenching around him as he orgasms proving too much and he grips him tightly as he shudders through it.

"Oh. My. God." Kurt says wearily as he toys with Blaine's curls. "Skinny dipping, frottage and fingering in the sea. First time for everything."

"A first time for all those things I should hope." Blaine says with a lazy smile, too blissed out to move or even think about unwrapping himself from Kurt.

"Nah, I've been out here every night while you've been sleeping," Kurt jokes and Blaine laughs as he wearily carries him into the shore. "Hey.....Are you getting crows feet at last?" he asks as he tilts Blaine's face this way and that under the moonlight.

Blaine just beams at him. "Maybe someone's given me reason to smile."

 


	11. Chapter 11

"Ah, Bonjour Paris!" an exuberant Blaine cries as they walk out of the airport. He walks towards a line of cabs before noticing Kurt isn't following. "Hey....." he says, walking back to him and taking his hand, "What's up?"

"I miss our little house," Kurt says morosely.

"Me too, but come on. This will be a blast."

"I know," Kurt says but there's no excitement in his voice as he helps Blaine load the bags into the trunk of the cab.

"We'll go back." Blaine says decisively as they journey towards the city. "Next year, for our anniversary." That has Kurt smiling again as he rests his head onto Blaine's shoulder.

"I'll hold you to it."

They check in at the hotel, not even bothering to correct the receptionist who congratulates them on their nuptials in a thick French accent. This time, Blaine doesn't rush to the pool or gym, preferring to drag Kurt on the metro and up the steps to the Sacre-Coeur before they find a cute little cafe at the bottom of the hill where they stop for lunch. Photos outside the moulin Rouge follow, Kurt suggesting they come back to watch the show later, laughing out loud when Blaine tells him the thought of topless women can-can dancing terrifies him.

"What do you want to do instead then?"

"I'm thinking Hotel Meurice for dinner."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Not your thing?" Blaine asks, confused.

"Dinner at the best restaurant in all of Paris? Soooo my thing," Kurt says linking his arm through his as they stroll through Montmartre.

"Good, it's our second date then."

"That means I'm paying."

"Not a chance," Blaine laughs. "I asked you.”

“Well what do I get to do for you then?”

“I can think of a few things.”

* * *

They are both wide-eyed throughout dinner. They’ve experienced fine dining before, but nobody does it as well as the French. It’s worth every last Euro, though even Blaine blanches slightly when he sees the bill. Too wired to sleep, they decide to walk back to the hotel, Kurt linking his arms through Blaine’s as they take in the Seine.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Hmm?”

“This....between us. The future. We will make it work, won’t we?” And for the first time, Blaine hears the uncertainty in Kurt’s voice. He looks at him and finds more worries etched on his features, his beautifully smooth skin furrowed as he frowns and bites his lip.

“Of course we will.” Blaine reassures, stopping and taking both his hands in his. “I know it will be different, but we will make it work because there is simply no other option. I don’t want to be without you and you- I’m pretty sure- don't want to be without me. So yes, it will work because we believe in it enough to make it happen.”

“What about when I’m really cranky after a long day at work?”

“You’re always...” Blaine starts but laughs and changes his tactic when he notices Kurt’s glare, “Then I will run you a hot bath and massage all your stresses away,” he says sweetly.

“And when you ‘accidentally’ find your way to the bottom of a whiskey bottle and drunk dial your ex-wife?”

“Ha! That’ll never happen.” he laughs.

“Which part?”

“I’ll never drunk dial her. The whiskey thing....I make no promises. But you owe me after London anyway.”

“True.”

They arrive back at the hotel, Blaine uses the bathroom and emerges- tie loose- to see Kurt standing there, hands in his pockets, looking at him. He’s taken his jacket and tie off and the collar of his shirt is open, revealing a hint of that chest Blaine loves to worship. He looks so serene, so breathtakingly beautiful that Blaine stares for a moment before walking slowly towards him. It takes every ounce of self restraint not to tackle him to the bed and rip his clothes off there and then, but he resists, caressing his face tenderly before brushing their lips together.

“You know, in London you said something to me which made me so sad. You told me you thought you were a bitch.”

“I am.”

“You’re not though. You said you wanted to be more like you used to be. Well I think you’ve done that, but you've made yourself a million times better. You’re beautiful inside and out Kurt. I love you so much.”

“Am I still your Kurt?”

“Always my Kurt.” he answers quietly before kissing him so intently it leaves them both breathless. “I want you.”

Kurt smiles against his lips and starts to unbutton Blaine’s shirt but he stills his hands.

“All of you,” he says, emphasising the point with his eyes and the meaning becomes clear to Kurt, who oddly enough, becomes immediately flustered.

“I..um...wow. Are you sure?”

“Yes. Why? Do you...”

“No! I want to I just didn’t think.....I didn’t know if you would be entirely comfortable with...me topping.”

“I want you. I want to feel you moving inside me, stretching me open and making me part of you. I want you to guide me through this because in all honestly I’m excited but really scared too.”

“Okay.” Kurt says, his mind already made up when Blaine mentioned him being inside him. “And it’s okay to be scared. I am too,” he smiles shyly at him. “This is the first time I’ve been waiting for.”

Blaine kisses him again, as if to make sure this is all real before he moves to pull back the covers on the bed. “Do you...um...have everything?”

“Yeah,” Kurt mumbles, embarrassed, and the reason why he has everything hangs silently in the air between them. The suitcase he had packed was ready for his honeymoon, and not in a million years did he ever envisage he’d be using those items with Blaine instead.

Sensing his discomfort, Blaine kneels on the bed and pulls him into his arms. “It’s okay, Kurt. We’re both adults here. We’ve spent enough time lamenting what could have been. Let’s just focus on the here and now.”

Kurt looks to him gratefully, feeling happier although still nervous as hell as he finishes unbuttoning Blaine’s shirt. They move slowly, neither wanting to rush as Kurt takes his time to kiss down Blaine’s chest, tongue swirling around his belly button before moving back up, running the tip of his tongue over his nipples, teasing them to make Blaine squirm. The action seems to spur Blaine on, and he becomes hungry with want, cupping Kurt’s neck as he sucks on the soft flesh just below his ear, marking him for all to see when they arrive home. They fall down onto the soft bed, Kurt moving between Blaine’s legs and making light work of his pants.

"Feels weird, all these clothes."

"I know, but somehow I don't think my clients would be ready for me to just wear shorts to all our meetings," Blaine laughs, arching his back as Kurt removes his underwear. "Or to see me like this for that matter."

"Depends what type of clients you're referring to," Kurt replies before he dips to kiss at his hip bones, gently mouthing at his cock and enjoying the moan it provokes. He sinks down around him, humming as Blaine pulls sharply at his hair.

"Jesus Kurt, that's so good!" Blaine cries as he tries to keep his hips still. "Ah.... and I think.....I think you'd better stop."

"Hmm?" Kurt says with a wicked grin as he pulls off but keeps his tongue running over the head.

"You're still wearing too many clothes for a start. And I want this to happen, I don't want to fall at the first hurdle as it were."

Laughing softly, Kurt starts to unbutton his shirt, but Blaine bats his fingers out the way and undresses him slowly, kissing each new bit of skin as it becomes exposed. He places a solitary, light kiss to the tip of Kurt's already leaking cock before moving back to those delectable lips he adores, holding his face in his hands as they explore with their tongues. Turning onto their sides, Blaine jumps slightly as Kurt runs his hand over his ass, pushing closer to him and moaning into his shoulder.

"Ready?"

"Yeah," Blaine breathes, watching as Kurt pours lube onto his fingers.

"Just....tell me if it hurts. We can go as slow or as fast as you like, okay?"

Blaine nods his response, shivering slightly as a cold wet finger trails down his crack before circling his entrance lightly. Kurt pushes gently past the ring of muscle, watching Blaine's face as he winces at first with the intrusion before his whole face softens in pleasure as Kurt pulls nearly all the way out before pushing back in again.

"Feels...good. Strange, but good."

"It gets better," Kurt whispers in his ear. "Lie on your back," he instructs, reaching for a pillow to prop Blaine's hips up before lying on his side next to him. This time he pushes two fingers in and Blaine moans deeply, the new angle making every nerve in his body tingle as Kurt slowly opens him.

"More," Blaine whispers after a while, and Kurt adds a third, trying to resist the urge to touch himself as he watches Blaine fall apart at his hand. "Kurt....I think you'd better....or I won't....." Blaine pants as he clenches around Kurt's fingers tightly.

Removing his hand, Kurt kisses the inside of Blaine thighs as he kneels between his legs. "Okay?"

"I'll be better when you're buried inside me."

"Fuck." Rolling a condom on quickly, Kurt coats himself liberally with lube, biting his lip hard at the sight of Blaine, flushed, ready and wanting- both their fantasies finally becoming a reality as Kurt pushes in as gently as he can. Blaine hisses slightly at first, Kurt is much thicker and harder than fingers could ever be, but when he leans down to kiss him, resting all his weight on Blaine's chest, it all feels so overwhelmingly right and perfect that Blaine finds himself unable to stop the tears forming in his eyes.

"I love you Kurt."

"I love you too baby," Kurt whispers as he moves onto his elbows, wanting to keep as close to Blaine as possible. He thrusts in and out slowly, both overwhelmed with the moment as Blaine's legs come up to wrap around his waist, hands clutching his back as Kurt's speed builds.

"Shit!" Blaine cries, "Kurt this is so good!"

"Oh God Blaine, you're so tight....so tight and perfect around me," Kurt moans as he pulls him even closer, pressing their sweat soaked chests together, the heat in the room almost stifling as he pushes harder and faster, angling so his cock grazes over Blaine's prostate.

"Fuck! Yes!" Blaine arches off the bed, Kurt's hands supporting his back as he manages to kiss at his jaw and whisper to him.

"Touch yourself Blaine, come for me."

It's a couple of strokes at most before Kurt feels Blaine clenching around him, head thrown back in a silent scream of pleasure. The tightness, the overwhelming heat and the sight of Blaine in ecstasy tips Kurt over the edge too, shouting his boyfriend's name as he pulses deep inside before falling on top of him in a boneless mass of limbs.

"I think I'm dead."

"I'm gonna be if you don't move." Blaine manages to get out, and Kurt laughs as he pulls out of Blaine slowly, hurrying to the bathroom and returning with a washcloth and a towel.

"Was that...I mean....was it okay?"

"Do you need to ask?" Blaine grins at him, "It was completely perfect and the most precious moment I could have ever shared with anybody." Pulling Kurt into his arms, he kisses the top of his head softly as he snuggles against Blaine's chest. "I wanna do it again," he says grinning at the ceiling.

"Now?" Kurt asks, sitting up in alarm.

"Not now," Blaine laughs as he tucks him back in. "Now I intend to hold you and sleep until morning."

Blaine does get to sleep uninterrupted until morning- three in the morning to be precise, when Kurt shakes him roughly awake.

"Blaine, Blaine, look!"

"Huh?" Blaine squints at the bright phone screen being shoved in his face and tries to focus.

"She's had a boy! I'm an Uncle!"

Taking the phone, Blaine makes out a picture of a tiny baby wearing a blue hat and wrapped in a blanket, tucked in beside an exhausted but ecstatic Rachel. 'Presenting Zachary Finn Hudson, born 9:30pm. Mom and baby doing well, can't wait to see you :)'

"Congratulations." Blaine says with a tired smile as he hands the phone back to Kurt and rolls over.

A look of hurt crosses Kurt's face before he returns to gazing at the screen. "Look at him, he's so cute! I can't wait to hold that teeny hand and kiss that little button nose. Blaine I'm in love."

"You're supposed to be in love with me," Blaine grumbles.

"It's a different kind of love, silly. Oh my goodness. There's a huge Disney store on Champs D'Elysee. I'm going there as soon as it opens. Oh! And there's a Petite Bateau store too. I'm gonna get him a cute little sailor romper! I can't wait to....Blaine? Are you still awake?" The silence that answers the question has Kurt swallowing his sudden unease and cuddling down behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and nuzzling into his neck.

In the darkness, Blaine blinks back tears as he berates himself silently over his stupidity and vows to do better when the sun comes up.

* * *

"Okay, you're all weird" Kurt sighs exasperatedly as he stops on the sidewalk.

"What?"

"We have been in countless baby stores and you haven't moaned, then I suggest we get lunch and you pull me into Burberry to buy Zachary a jacket. Why?"

"What are you talking about?" Blaine asks defensively.

"Blaine. You don't like children."

"Well......"

"Do you?"

"No."

"So why the sudden interest?"

"Because I can see how much this means to you. And I perhaps wasn't the most receptive when you woke me in the middle of the night, so I'm trying now."

Tilting his head to one side Kurt smiles. He closes the short distance between them and kisses his lips briefly. "And that's what makes you a better person than I am."

"Not true. You followed me round the sports stores at the mall."

"I did."

"And you went Kayaking, mountain biking, swimming....endless things you tried just because you knew it would make me happy. This is small in comparison. Don't run yourself down all the time."

"Will you come visit him when we get home?"

"If you want me there."

"I always want you. In more ways than one," he adds with a wink.

"I thought you wanted lunch?"

"I'm hungry for something else."

* * *

"Here come the honeymooners!" Cooper calls as Blaine and Kurt trudge wearily through arrivals. "Good trip guys?"

"The best," Kurt smiles at him and Blaine agrees, ducking his head with a shy grin in Kurt's direction.

"Blaine are you okay? You're limping." Cooper notices as he leads the ways to his car parked diagonally across a no parking zone.

"Um...yeah. I....I'm great," he says but suddenly, this is weird. He's unsure what to do or say. Is Kurt expecting him to tell Cooper now? Should he hold his hand or something? They've just finished a seven hour flight, how did they manage not to discuss this? In the end he opts for stuffing one hand in his pocket, the other occupied with dragging his case.

"So, Kurt. You wanna go to Rachel's?"

"She's home?"

"Came home this morning. Your dad and Carole are in town too, they'll probably be there."

"Is that okay?"

"Sure. Wow. Someone's changed," Cooper notes as he watches Kurt helping Blaine with the bags. Laughing at Kurt's blush he claps him on the back. "Looks like Blaine's been rubbing off on you." That only causes him to blush harder as he climbs into the back seat.

Blaine hesitates a moment before sliding in next to him. "What am I, your chauffeur?" Cooper huffs.

"Yes. Brooklyn please."

Cooper pulls away with a laugh and out into the traffic. Leaning back against the headrest, Blaine turns his face toward Kurt and just smiles softly, fingers brushing over his as Kurt offers a tense smile in return before looking out the window. Blaine frowns and reaches across to him, tugging on his hand until he turns again. "Love you," he mouths but when Kurt just looks down at their clasped hands and lets go, Blaine starts to panic. He feels as if he's let him down already, after all the promises he made about them making it work when they got home. Taking a deep breath, he squeezes his eyes shut for a second before speaking.

"Cooper, I have something to tell you."

"Oh? About your trip?"

"Kind of. But it's um...."

"It's nothing," Kurt interrupts as he looks at Blaine, eyes wide. "He stole a bike when he was drunk in London."

"Ha!" Cooper laughs uproariously, "that sounds like something I'd do, not you! Jeez Kurt, how much did you make him drink?"

"It was his idea, not mine," Kurt answers, and he relaxes and reaches back for Blaine's hand, squeezing to let him know it's all okay again. "Oh, and also, your straitlaced brother made me go skinny dipping."

Cooper nearly crashes the car in surprise as he hoots with laughter, wiping away tears as he tries to steer them safely into the turning lane. "Dude!" he shrieks, "No way!"

Blushing deep red, Blaine glares at Kurt who is now laughing too. "I um....well...to be fair, it was a private beach....and it was nearly midnight."

"Still! I didn't think you had it in you! Were you drunk again?"

"No," Blaine mutters, and now he doesn't know whether to feel confused, scared, amused or what as Kurt and his brother continue to laugh together. It dies down after a while and Blaine picks up his phone to read through some of his emails. He's just tapping out a reply to one when the phone buzzes with an incoming text from Kurt. He looks to him, raising one eyebrow and Kurt shrugs noncommittally as he opens it.

'You were prepared to tell him, but you're not ready yet.That you were willing to do that is enough for me. I love you xxx P.S You're hot when you're embarrassed.'

This time, when Blaine blushes, it is for an entirely different reason.

“Who’s the Daddy?” Finn yells as he opens the door and pulls Kurt into a bone crushing hug. “I got a boy!”

“I know!” Kurt laughs, “Congratulations. Now let me at my nephew.”

“Yeah, congrats man, completely awesome.” Cooper grins as he hugs him hard. “I have gifts for the little man. Not as many as Uncle Kurt, but gifts nonetheless.”

“And I would hug you right now, but I’m holding said gifts,” Blaine says from behind a large stack of boxes and bags. “He’s gonna be the best dressed kid in New York.”

Finn leads them into the living room to find Rachel cradling the baby as she beams at them. “Here he is!” she says softly, mindful of the sleeping boy. “Zach, you have visitors. All your Uncles have come to visit. Oh, I’m going to call you all Uncle since Cooper and Blaine are as good as Hummels anyway. Speaking of which Kurt, your dad and Carole have just gone to the store, they’ll be back soon. Okay, who wants first cuddle?”

“Oh! Me, me!” Kurt says excitedly as he sits next to Rachel and tenderly takes the newborn. Leaning against the wall, Blaine watches the scene before him as Kurt’s eyes fill with tears and Cooper- even Cooper- kneels on the floor and presses a soft kiss to the baby’s head.

“Isn’t he awesome?” Finn asks proudly as he stands next to him.

“He’s uh.....small,” is all Blaine can offer in response.

“Blaine doesn’t do kids.” Cooper says as he continues to coo. “He’ll fall in love with you though won’t he little bubba? Yes he will.”

“Oh for God’s sake.” Blaine mutters, then catches Kurt looking at him, a tight smile on his face.

“Blaine, seriously, you need to hold him. It’s like....completely amazing. It will melt you.” Finn tells him.

“Nah, I’m good. Let Kurt. He’s been waiting since the second he got your text.”

And Kurt is enraptured. He studies every tiny feature on Zach’s face. His tiny nose and rosebud mouth, twitching slightly in sleep, the little milk spots on his cheeks, the way that tiny hand curls around his now seemingly huge finger, holding on for dear life. All of it, Kurt finds awe inspiring and breathtaking. Blaine just finds it scary.

“Oh go on Blaine. I want a picture of you two together for his baby book,” Rachel pleads.

“Okay.” Blaine replies, giving in because what else can you do when a new mom wants you to hold her baby? It would be more than a little impolite to refuse.

Kurt passes Zach over, whispering to Blaine to hold his head, and hold him close and not at arms length. Rushing to get the camera, Rachel returns and snaps some pictures. “Okay, now Kurt and Cooper crowd round,” she trills brightly as they all smile together. “Excellent.”

“Coop, take the kid,” Blaine hisses, as Kurt walks through to the kitchen. Blaine hurries after to find him standing at the sink staring out into the small yard. Wiping his eyes hurriedly on the back of his sleeve, he turns and offers a bright smile, but Blaine is wary.

“You okay?”

“Yeah....just a little....I don’t know. Jetlagged probably.”

“You sure that’s all?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“You’d tell me if it was more?”

“Of course.”

Blaine opens his mouth to say more but he’s interrupted by the arrival of Burt and Carole.

“All my boys- and girls- sorry Rachel, together again. And it’s not even Christmas!” Burt says happily as they greet each one. “How d’you like your new nephew then eh?”

“I freakin love him.” Cooper beams. “Finn, Rach, thanks for saying I can be his uncle. You’ve made me ridiculously happy.”

“You’re welcome,” Rachel says as Blaine feels all eyes on him.

“Um yeah, thanks.”

“So how was the trip you two?” Carole asks as she settles in a chair, “Kurt, you look so well! You too Blaine, but I mean I was expecting Kurt to look...”

“Does that mean fat? Oh my God.” Kurt says as he feels warily under his chin.

“No honey, not at all. You just look...happy. Happier than I’ve seen you look for a long time actually.”

“I agree,” Rachel chips in.

“Zach’s arrival helped.” Blaine offers, trying to cover Kurt from the interrogation.

They all chat for a while, mainly about the baby, before Kurt announces that they need to go home and rest. Blaine finds himself too weary to do anything other than close his eyes on the way home, the stress of the last two hours having taken it’s toll. He can hear Kurt and Cooper’s conversation but it sounds distant as he begins to drift in and out of sleep.

“Kurt, I’ll drop Blaine first then take you home if that’s okay?”

 **  
**Kurt opens his mouth to respond but is cut off by a half awake Blaine. “No! Kurt belongs with me.”


	12. Chapter 12

Blaine jolts fully awake, the realization of what he's just said hitting him full on as he sits up and fumbles for his words. "I mean, he's just....we're just.....um....Kurt," Blaine says, levelling his gaze in his direction, "do you want to come to mine and I'll take you home...um...another time?"

Suddenly shy, Kurt grins. "Yes."

"Kurt Hummel you have got a hickey!" Cooper exclaims loudly as he dumps their bags outside Blaine's building. "How the hell did you get that?"

"Like Kurt said, your brother is full of surprises," Blaine says boldly. "Thanks for the ride." And they head inside, leaving Cooper to return to his car trying to work out exactly what that statement meant.

"So....you'll take me home another time?" Kurt asks as they walk into the apartment. "What does that mean exactly?"

"It means I'm not ready to be apart from you yet," Blaine says as he pulls Kurt in for a long kiss. "It means I need you naked, in my bed, wrapped in my arms all night. It means I want to watch you as I come deep in your ass."

"You...want to switch?"

"Totally. If that's okay with you," he adds hurriedly.

"It's more than okay. Then we can limp together," Kurt teases. "Anyway, I can't say I was looking forward to going home. Though I will have to tomorrow before I go to work." Laughing at Blaine's pouty face he kisses the tip of his nose. "But I'm thinking you might let me take you out on a date in the evening."

"And then I get to bring you back here again?"

"Going home with you after only three dates? Very forward."

"Nope, getting you into the tub with me right now is very forward," Blaine says as he nips teasingly at Kurt's lower lip before running his tongue into his mouth and leading him backwards towards the bathroom, groaning when the phone starts to ring. "One second. I'll get rid of whoever it is."

"Blaine Anderson, are you fucking him?" Cooper yells, and Blaine hangs up with a grin, his silence causing his brother to laugh out loud in disbelief back in his own apartment.

"Who was it?" Kurt calls from the bathroom doorway.

Blaine looks up, the phone falling from his hand onto the couch as he sees Kurt in all his naked, hard glory. "My idiot brother. I'll call him tomorrow. Jesus Christ Kurt, how are you even real?"

"Come here and find out."

* * *

"Oh God Kurt, you're so tight," Blaine moans that night as he pushes into him for the first time. "Holy shit!"

"OhGodBlainethatfeelssogood," Kurt rushes out as Blaine clings tightly to him as he stills- the feeling of Kurt's tight heat surrounding him is so overwhelmingly beautiful he feels he may cry.

"You okay? Is this okay? I mean..."

"Yes. Blaine, it's wonderful. Please don't panic."

"No. Right. Don't panic. I can do that."

"And also....maybe move? A little?"

Blaine laughs softly, "Yes. Sorry," and he starts to slowly pull out almost all the way before pushing back in. "Oh fuck."

"Yeah," Kurt breathes, because really it's all he can manage. He's far from a blushing virgin, but actually he struggles to recall the last time he made love with somebody like this. Staring into one another's eyes, moving slowly, steadily- bodies and foreheads pressed as close as possible- each second together, each soft touch and gentle caress given with thought, meaning and love. He's never felt so connected to another human being in all his life. He always thought, always hoped Blaine would be the one, but to know he's found his soulmate at last pushes those ever present tears to spill over onto his cheeks.

"Kurt? Am I hurting you?" Blaine asks is terror, stopping again as he gently strokes his hair from his damp forehead.

"No, not at all. I just...." Kurt sniffs slightly and smiles up at him, "I just realized. You're it for me. You're my soulmate. All these years I've been shutting people out, flitting from one disagreement to the next with my family, friends...because I've been searching, looking for something that wasn't even missing. You were right there all the time."

Blaine smiles softly, his eyes shining with unshed tears in the dim light. "Yeah, I guess we've been playing the worlds longest game of hide and go seek." Pulling him up from the bed and into his arms, Blaine kisses Kurt fiercely, as if trying to convey the sheer depth of his emotions. Kurt responds eagerly, the message being received all too clearly- 'You're mine and I am never letting go.'

They move together, Kurt rising and falling as he moves into Blaine's lap, locking his fingers into those curls, damp with sweat and exertion as he pushes deeper and deeper into his boyfriend. Arching his head back, Kurt cries out as Blaine kisses the hollow of his throat, tongue lapping and tasting, never being able to get enough. He wraps one hand around Kurt's hard cock and strokes, both of them teetering on the brink until they cannot stand any more and go tumbling into orgasmic bliss together- Kurt clenching tightly as he feels Blaine pulsing inside him. Falling back onto the bed, Kurt is vaguely aware of Blaine cleaning him up with some Kleenex and pulling the cover over them both before spooning around him, kissing the back of his neck softly with a whispered "I love you," just as sleep takes them both.

* * *

"Blaine, baby? I made you pancakes."

"Hmm?"

"I made you pancakes. I'm just going to take a shower. I need to get home before I get to work, okay?"

Blaine yawns and stretches on the bed before he opens his eyes fully and grins at Kurt. "Careful. If you make me breakfast every morning I might never let you leave," he teases.

"And that would be a bad thing because?" Kurt teases back, before worrying he's said too much and disappearing to the bathroom. Blaine sits, thinking Kurt's comment over, laughing when he hears a yell.

"Number four!" he calls and falls back onto the soft sheets with a delirious grin before remembering the mention of pancakes.

Kurt finds him in the kitchen fifteen minutes later, a pair of sweats falling loosely around his hips as he dries the dishes. He hands Kurt a steaming mug of coffee with a light kiss to his forehead as he passes then buries himself in the refrigerator as he realises now much he's enjoying this domesticity.

"So what are your plans for today?" Kurt asks as he picks at some pancakes.

"I'm going to stay home, catch up on my emails, do a bit of laundry."

"Ugh. Don't remind me."

"Just leave your stuff here, I'll do it."

"No Blaine, you don't have to do that," Kurt says hurriedly.

"I know I don't have to, I want to. I'm not going into the office until after lunch anyway."

"I..um...I can do my own laundry." Kurt laughs, embarrassed at the secret thrill the thought of Blaine doing his laundry brings.

"Go on, relinquish that control," Blaine smiles as his arms circle him from behind, "You managed it last night," he whispers hotly, laughing as Kurt squirms.

"Oh Jesus! Okay, you can do my laundry. But I'm leaving now before I decide to grab that control by its balls." Hopping from his stool, Kurt winds his arms around Blaine's neck and kisses him deeply, Blaine murmuring against his lips as they meet again and again.

"You can...Mmmm....grab my balls whenever you want. Mmmmm.....okay. Go. Call me. I'll call you, whatever. I love you."

"I love you too," Kurt says with a final kiss to his lips as he backs out of the apartment with a small wave.

Blaine wastes no time and dives straight into their cases, still standing untouched in the hallway since yesterday. He puts the first load of laundry on then heads down the hall to his office, only having time to turn his laptop on before his phone rings.

"Well well brother of mine, you're a dark horse!" Cooper chuckles down the phone. "You coming in today or what?"

"Later. Uh...Coop...I don't want you to think...."

"I never do."

"Quite. But me and Kurt....it's um...."

"So there is a you and Kurt?"

Blaine pauses and takes a deep breath before answering, the smile evident in his voice, "Yeah."

"Well fuck me sideways. I never saw that coming. Well, I did- I kind of expected it when you were sixteen but then you always said you were straight. Turns out you're Kurtsexual."

"I'm not....it's not just him. I'm gay, Cooper."

The silence seems to stretch for eternity, Blaine sat in his office swallowing the over the lump in his throat which seems to be restricting his breathing while he waits nervously for his brothers response.

"Do you....is that why you and Lisa split?"

"Yes. Well, she doesn't know but um...yeah. There were......complications which arose from me being gay, but I didn't ever come out to her."

"So not because she was a cold heartless bitch who kept your balls in her back pocket then? Huh."

"Cooper, stop. You're as bad as Kurt."

"And you're too nice. So. Kurt."

"Yes."

"Wanna tell me when? Why? How?"

"I've been in love with him since the first day we met. And he felt the same,we just weren't brave enough to tell each other."

"So what? You just hooked up on vacation or what? I don't mean to keep asking questions but I'm just trying to get this straight in my head. Straight! Ha!" Cooper exclaims, laughing loudly at his own joke.

"Nothing ever happened before if that's what you mean. But yes, we hooked up. Though its more than that."

"Blaine....."

"I love him Coop."

"And he feels the same?"

"He does Cooper, he really does."

"Cool."

"What?" Blaine asks, sure he's heard wrong.

"Cool. I'm happy for you both. You're best friends who have both suffered some really shitty relationships, probably because you just wanted each other. So...yeah....go for it. I just wanna see both of you happy."

"You.....you don't mind.....about me being gay?"

"Why the hell should I mind?" Cooper laughs loudly. "Makes no difference to me. I kinda wish you'd come out sooner, but I guess I know why you didn't."

"They'd have killed me."

"Not killed you, no. Threatened to cut you off, force you into a marriage you didn't want....yeah. Although I guess that happened anyway. You're always so anxious to please them Blaine, I just don't get it."

"I saw them. When we were away."

"Oh?" Cooper asks, and Blaine can hear his voice change from warm and soothing to cold, flat and emotionless with one short word.

"In a restaurant in Monte Carlo of all places."

"They're alive then."

"Dad bought a yacht."

"Of course he did. Anyway. I'm gonna get on with some work and you should too. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. Thanks Cooper."

"Love you little brother."

"Love you."

Blaine hangs up and lets out a long breath, eyes filling with tears of gratitude for his amazing brother, without whom his life would be...well, quieter but certainly a lot harder to bear. His mind wanders to Kurt and he's unable to resist calling him right away.

"Blaine? You okay?"

"Yeah," Blaine smiles into the phone, "I miss you though."

"I miss you too," and Blaine can hear the smile returned as he speaks. "I just got to work."

"Was everything okay at your place?"

"Yes, no ones been in at all, or at least if they have they've not touched anything. It felt strange though, being back."

"Have you thought about what you're going to do?"

"You mean will I sell? I think I'm going to have to, when or if I eventually hear from Ian. I can't pay the mortgage on my own. I don't know....it will sadden me to sell but....yeah. No other option I guess."

Blaine is quiet for a moment before; "I told Cooper," he suddenly blurts.

"You what?"

"Well, he sort of guessed, but he thought I was- and I quote- Kurtsexual. So I told him everything."

"You came out? Oh my God Blaine! What did he say?"

"He said it was cool, that my sexuality made no difference to him and he just wanted to see us both happy."

"Blaine I...." Kurt breaks off and sniffs a moment, trying to compose himself as his assistant places a coffee on his desk and quickly leaves again. "I am so unbelievably proud of you right now. And Cooper. I love you both. Well, I love you in a different way but you get me."

Blaine laughs through the tears that have formed, "I love you too. I just....I just can't believe that I did it."

"I can, because you're strong and brave and my beautiful boyfriend."

"Thank you." Blaine whispers meekly, blushing furiously even though he is alone.

"I'd better go and do some work. I've got a hot date later."

"Okay. Enjoy your date. I've got one too, but I'm not sure what to wear."

"Hmm, I'd go with smart casual. Really it doesn't matter, I guess you won't be wearing it for long." Kurt says, his voice low with desire and making Blaine twitch in his chair. "I'll pick you up at eight."

They hang up without saying goodbye, as is always their tradition, and Blaine then works diligently all morning before breaking at lunchtime to shower and change. He smiles as his phone buzzes on the bed with a text from Kurt.

I can't wait to get my hands/ lips/ tongue on you. Tonight seems too far away.

Blaine laughs out loud as he pulls on a pair of slacks. He's just picking a shirt when he hears a knock on his front door. Grinning to himself, he wanders through the apartment bare chested, calling out on his way.

"Couldn't wait huh? You're lucky, I was just about to.....Fuck."

"Hello Blaine."

Blaine's face falls as he's greeted with the sight of his ex wife on his doorstep.

"Lisa? What the...what are you even doing here?"

"Must you wander around half dressed?"

"I..."

"Are you going to ask me in?" she questions coldly before pushing past and walking into the living room anyway.

"I was... You can't just...." Blaine fumbles as he closes the door and hurries after her. "And what is that?" he asks, gesturing for the first time to the bundle she holds in her arms.

"This Blaine," she replies, turning to face him, "is your daughter."


	13. Chapter 13

"Excuse me?" an incredulous Blaine asks as he glances quickly at the sleeping form, catching a glimpse of black curls before looking to Lisa again and feeling suddenly very, very sick.

"Your daughter. She's called Lola and she's eighteen months old."

Lisa sits on the couch uninvited, setting down a large diaper bag before shifting the sleeping child to lie back on the cushions. Blaine stumbles slightly as he sees her face for the first time, clutching the back of an armchair for support as he feels all the blood drain from his face.

"How can....we didn’t....I mean...."

"She's yours, if that's what you're trying to express so eloquently. Look at her. She couldn't be anyone else's. Turns out your pathetic attempts at intercourse weren't so weak after all."

"But.... Why? I thought you didn't want...."

"I didn't. I don't. But I didn't find out until I was four months gone. I assumed I was eating my feelings because of the divorce. I was wrong."

"I thought we were careful."

"So did I. Jesus Blaine, I was on the pill though there was really no need. And I still made you use condoms. I don't know what happened, or how it happened but it did. And she's here. Can I put her on your bed?"

Blaine nods weakly, to stricken to move or even voice his displeasure at the way in which Lisa hoists the baby and makes her way down the hallway, trying various doors until she finds his room.

"Nice place," she offers on her return. "Still a bachelor I take it. Not that I'm surprised. Once anyone gets you into bed they'll soon end it."

"You didn't." Blaine bites back.

"No. Because I figured the lifestyle you could offer me would be more than worth it. And I did like you. A lot. But it wasn't enough. Anyway. Lola. I need you to watch her for me."

"What?!" Blaine yells, then tries to rationalise it in his head. This is okay. He can do this. Will do this. "Well she's asleep I guess. How long will you be?"

"Huh?"

"When will you be back?"

"Oh no, Blaine sweetheart you misunderstand me. I'm not coming back. I'm moving to Dubai. She's yours now."

Any grip Blaine still had on reality or his emotions slides away, seemingly in slow motion as he stares open mouthed at the woman. She stares back, green eyes cold as ice as she folds her arms and waits expectantly.

"No," Blaine whispers as he grips the chair tighter. "No....Lisa you can't."

"I can and I am Blaine. I'm getting married again and my fiancé has to relocate. There's just no room for her in my life any more I'm afraid. So it's time for you to step up and take charge."

"Please....I'm begging you," Blaine pleads brokenly and hopes for a second that he glimpses a flicker of remorse, but Lisa quickly composes herself and stares him down.

"You were always begging Blaine. Look at you, you're just as pathetic as you always were. 'Oh I'm Blaine, pity me please, my parents don't like me.' And 'I'm Blaine, my best friend is a gay bitch who's hopelessly in love with me because I trail him around like a puppy dog and let him treat me like shit.'"

At the mention of Kurt, Blaine sees red. "That's not true! You were just jealous of our friendship. Fuck, he always said you were cold hearted and I did my best to defend you, but this, this! This is just something else. I tried to be a good husband to you Lisa, I really did. I'm sorry that it didn’t work out but..."

"Because of him," Lisa spits, her voice dripping with venom as she advances. "It didn’t fucking work out because of him. You think I'm dumb? Do you think I couldn't see where your heart truly lay? You never loved me Blaine. Yes, you were kind and sweet and we had some good times but you couldn't even have sex with your own wife because you were too busy thinking of sticking your dick into another guys ass. How could I stay with someone like that? I'd have found it easier to accept if you'd been carrying on with other women behind my back, but him? No. It's disgusting. And you know what? I'm glad you two were oblivious to each others feelings, because now he's trapped in a marriage and you're lumbered with a kid. I hope you're both fucking miserable without each other."

"So that's what this is? You're dumping your kid on me as payback because I love somebody else?"

"No Blaine, I told you. There's no room for her in my life. I'm twenty seven and saddled with that," she says gesturing towards the bedroom, "for another seventeen years at least? I don't think so. And please don't say she's my kid, she's yours too. Get a blood test if you don't believe me." Picking up her purse she walks from the living room, pausing as she passes and in a surprising gesture, drops a kiss to Blaine's cheek. He turns and races down the hallway after her, grabbing her arm as she reaches for the door latch.

"Please, you can’t do this."

"I can and I am. Time to be a man Blaine."

"Not to me....to her," Blaine pleads as his gut twists with pain for the little girl, just left unknowing to sleep on a strangers bed- her whole world about to change when she wakes. "You can't do this to her. She's just a baby. She needs her mom. She doesn't even know who I am."

"Exactly," Lisa sighs exasperatedly, "she's a baby. She won't know any different."

"She will!" Blaine cries loudly. "Trust me, I know because it's been happening to me my whole life through."

"The difference is Blaine that I don't intend on coming back."

“Please Lisa, listen to me. You need help, fine. I’ll pay whatever it takes for you to keep her, hire a live in nanny or something but I just can't have her here. I don't do kids, you know that. The thought of being a parent terrifies me and I never intended on being one.”

“Neither did I. The fact is Blaine, having a kid screws your entire life up. I want to go to the spa, I have to find a sitter. I take her shopping, she cries because she’s tired. Then there’s the diapers, the feeding, the endless amounts of laundry. I'm done with it. It’s not my scene.”

“Well can someone else take her then?” Blaine pleads, now frantic with worry. “Your sister? Or parents?”

“My sister is moving to Dubai with us, she’s hoping to meet someone out there. And my parents are retired Blaine. They don’t want to be stuck with some kid. They’ve bought a yacht in Monte Carlo.”

“It’s all the fucking rage.” Blaine mutters angrily.

“Everyone agrees it’s for the best, so don’t even think about trying to contact them to try and talk them around. They want nothing to do with you anyway.”

“I can imagine they don’t.”

“So.”

“No, please.”

“Oh will you just quit with the fucking begging?” Lisa yells as she pulls open the door. “You don't want her? Fine. Get a nanny then send her away to school as soon as she’s old enough, or put her into foster care. Either way it’s nothing to do with me. I’ll be seeing a lawyer about how to relinquish my parental responsibility, the forms will be with you as soon as I’ve signed them. Have a nice life Blaine.”

And with that she is gone. Blaine stands at the open door, staring into the distance for the longest time before closing the door quickly when he spies his neighbour walking down the hall. Walking through the apartment, he is numb. Dazed and distracted he doesn't even notice where he is until he finds himself staring down at the small girl curled up on his bed. Her cheeks are flushed from sleep, mouth slightly open as she breathes softly into his pillow. Her long lashes fan over her cheeks just the same as his, her hair just as wild and untameable as Blaine’s was in childhood. She is wearing a yellow summer dress, small white daisies decorating the hem and a pair of white sandals are on her feet. Clutched tightly in her hand is a small pink rabbit, it’s ears well worn from endless cuddles no doubt. She stirs slightly in her sleep, and the panic sets in Blaine immediately as he sprints to his bathroom and empties the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He rinses his mouth out and stares at his reflection in the mirror, looking pale despite the tan. Stumbling from the room, he picks up his phone from the coffee table and scrolls to Kurt’s number before he stops. He can’t. Not right now.

“Cooper?”

“Blaine?” Cooper asks worriedly, the panic evident in his brothers voice from the second he speaks. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Not really. I just....really need you to come over. Right now.”

“Blaine, Mr. Ferguson is coming in to discuss....”

“Cancel. Please Cooper. I really need you here.”

Taken aback by the tone of his voice, Cooper agrees, knowing Blaine would never ask unless absolutely desperate. He always puts work before everything else. He drives quickly, mentally cursing himself for bringing his car when probably the subway would have been quicker. Still, he makes it to Blaine’s door in under twenty minutes and nearly falls on top of him when the door is hurriedly pulled open.

“Thank fuck. You’re here. You have to help me Cooper,” Blaine cries, clutching onto his brothers arms for support as he looks desperately to him, eyes wide with panic. “I don’t know what to do. I just..”

“Okay, calm down Blaine. What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you like this. Just breathe a second.” Cooper tries to guide him to the couch but Blaine shakes his head and gulps as he leads him down the hall, trying to focus on his breathing and staying upright.

“Lisa came.”

“Lisa? Holy shit. She’s in there?” Cooper asks, gesturing to the closed bedroom door.

“Worse.” Blaine opens the door and stands back, letting Cooper enter the room alone and watching as he walks to the bed.

“Fucking hell,” he whispers softly. Reaching out tentatively, Cooper smoothes the little girl’s curls from her forehead before turning to face Blaine. He looks so small, so utterly lost and afraid that Cooper goes to him immediately, folding him into his arms and pulling him back out into the hallway as he closes the door again. “Okay bud. It’ll be okay.”

And Blaine breaks. Tearing himself from Coopers embrace he runs into the living room, throwing himself onto the couch as the first sob rips through his body. Cooper follows slowly, sitting on the arm and rubbing small circles on his back as he cries and cries.

“Blaine, listen to me. It’s not what you wanted maybe, but she’s here. Trust me, it will be okay. You can work out some sort of arrangement with Lisa, get to know her a little bit more, take her out sometimes.”

“No.” Blaine tries to get out more but can’t as a fresh wave of sobs wrack his body.

“Don’t give me that. I know you’re scared, but you are not them, Blaine. You are a wonderful, warm and caring person who can and will make room for your daughter in your life. Look, I’ll stay with you until Lisa gets back, okay? Then we can all talk this through.”

“She’s not....she’s not coming back.” Blaine manages to get out eventually.

“Excuse me?”

“She’s marrying again and moving to Dubai. She just.....she just said that there was no room for Lola- that’s her name- in her life anymore. She just said it Cooper. She just left her here and walked away. Told me to have a nice life.”

Letting out a low whistle Cooper is then quiet, staring out through the window in deep contemplation. He looks to Blaine who is rubbing his eyes much in the manner of a small child before curling up in a ball and hiding his face in the corner of the couch.

“Okay,” Cooper says decisively. “As I see it there are three options right now. One, we try and contact your charmingly lovely ex-wife or her family and demand they take her back. But seeming as she’s effectively dumped her child to go and live the high life I can’t say that rests easy with me. Two, we take her to the police station and ask that child welfare take her into care. But I’m thinking they’ll take one look at you and demand a blood test before they even let you out the building. Three, we keep her. We go to the grocery store and buy diapers, milk and whatever else she needs. Tomorrow you get you and her to a paediatrician and get a paternity test, although I’m pretty sure she can’t be anyone else’s. We leave it a few weeks then we try and contact Lisa to arrange some sort of shared custody arrangement.”

“Four?” Blaine asks hopefully.

“I said three. Come on Blaine. You can do this.”

“I can’t.  I can't keep her."

“You can.”

“I can’t. I can’t have someone relying on me like that all the time. I can’t give her what she needs.”

“Listen to me Blaine, the mistakes of our parents are not ours. You will not be like them, I know you won’t. Give the poor kid a chance. Her own mom has just left her in a strangers house, at least let’s show her she’s safe here and welcomed. Please.”

They are interrupted by Lola's presence in the doorway. Hair wild from sleep she stands staring fearfully at the two men as she clutches her bunny and sucks her thumb.

“Hey sweetheart,” Cooper smiles, moving to crouch in front of her. “Did you have a nice nap?”

The little girl does not answer, flicking her large amber eyes from one to another with something approaching fright. Eventually she removes her thumb and her sweet voice comes. “Momma?”

“Um...Your mommy had to go away for a while so me and Blaine here are gonna take care of you, okay? Blaine is your....What do you want to be called?” he asks, turning to a shell shocked Blaine sat nervously on the couch.

“Blaine.”

“Daddy? or Papa?”

“Blaine.”

“Not an option buddy. Personally, I always wanted a daddy,” Cooper says with a sad smile as he turns to the child again. “Lola, Blaine is your daddy. Come say hi, Blaine.”

“Hi.” Blaine says from his seat, and Cooper sighs exasperatedly. Holding his hand out, he smiles when Lola takes it tentatively and allows herself to be led to the couch.

“You can make this as hard as you want on yourself Blaine, but not on her. It’s just not fair. Fall apart all you want when she’s tucked up in bed tonight but right now you need to get a grip. Look at her, freakin adorable. Now say hi. Properly,” he instructs and Blaine plasters a smile on his face and forces himself to look at her, and it's like staring into a tiny mirror.

“Hi Lola. Um...I’m...um.... Do you want anything? A drink?” Blaine says hesitantly, then waits for her answer.

“Blaine, how old is she?”

“Um...I think eighteen months.”

“So she probably won’t talk much. Ask her if she wants juice.”

“Juice, Lola?”

“Juice,” the little girl repeats and Blaine can’t help but smile at her cute way of speaking. Standing, he offers his hand to her and she follows him to the kitchen. He pours juice into a glass and offers it to her, looking puzzled when she doesn’t accept.

“Try this,” Cooper says, holding a sippy cup out to him. It was in her bag, along with some diapers and a spare change of clothes. Oh, and also her health records.”

Blaine rinses the cup and refills it with juice, Cooper smirking from the doorway as he battles with the lid. He holds it out and Lola accepts it gratefully. “So those records, they have her date of birth?” Blaine asks.

“Yes. January twenty ninth. So eighteen months exactly.”

“What do we do now?”

“I’ll go shopping and get her some supplies. You can stay here and get to know her a bit better.”

“Oh God no, don’t leave me with her! Please. Can we come with you?” Blaine begs.

“Well I guess you could, but we will need to go buy her a car seat right away. It’s not safe otherwise. Oh, and she’ll need changing. Relax, I’ll do it this time.” Cooper laughs.

It takes over an hour but eventually they’re ready to leave. Cooper has to google how to change a diaper and watch three youtube tutorials, but he gets there in the end. Lola is patient, and even Blaine feels warm when Cooper tickles her and makes her laugh. A mild panic sets in when Cooper goes to bring the car round front, but Lola is occupied with unpacking and repacking her diaper bag, and soon Blaine hears the car horn.

“Lola, we’re going out. Come on.” Blaine says, holding the door open expectantly, but she is unmoving. “Lola. Out.” he gestures through the door but she doesn’t even look up. He walks over and places his hand on her head, marvelling at the softness of her hair. “Lola. Come on, Cooper’s waiting,” he offers his hand and she takes it with a smile, and he can’t help but smile back. Their pace is slow, and Blaine becomes increasingly frustrated, especially when she can’t manage the stairs properly.

“Pick the poor girl up,” a neighbour tuts as she walks past. “Men.”

Blaine holds his arms out and picks Lola up gingerly. She wraps her tiny arms around his neck and beams. “Momma?” she asks again and Blaine shakes his head sadly. “Not right now. Soon, I hope.”

* * *

“Seriously, that was ridiculously expensive,” Blaine grumbles as he dumps the last of the bags on the floor. “Does she really need all this stuff?”

“Yes. And it wouldn’t have been half so expensive if you hadn’t insisted on designer clothes.”

“If she’s gonna stay a while she’s gotta be well dressed.” Blaine counters.

“And daddy just needed an Armani diaper bag.”

“It’s more masculine. So what now, I feed her?”

“As far as I’m aware it’s usual custom for a child to eat a meal before going to bed, yes.”

Lola, for her part is eerily quiet. Cooper had always thought of toddlers a boisterous things, constantly yelling or running around, but Lola is none of these. She waits patiently for her food, saying a quiet “Ta,” when Blaine sets a plate of sandwiches in front of her. Unwrapping one of the bottles they brought, Blaine washes it through before filling it with milk and warming it in the microwave.

“Coop, can you... I just...I’m not ready for that yet.” Blaine says, his eyes unsure as he holds the milk out to him.

“Sure. You’ve done well today Blaine. I’m proud of you.”

“She’s quite cute I guess,” Blaine says with a soft smile as she chews her food and looks to him.

“She’s amazing. You done good. Now come here little one,” Cooper says and hoists her into his lap where she snuggles against his chest immediately, clutching her bunny and Cooper’s finger as he feeds her.

Blaine watches from the doorway as her eyes start to close, then fly open again when a knock comes on the apartment door.

 **  
**“Oh fuck!” Blaine exclaims, eyes wide as he suddenly remembers. “Kurt!”


	14. Chapter 14

"You haven't told him?" Cooper hisses as the knock comes again.

"No I haven't told him, I've been a bit preoccupied in case you haven't noticed. And now he's here, expecting a date."

"Blaine?" comes Kurt's voice, hesitant from the other side.

"Uh...coming. One second. Take her into the guest room," Blaine gestures wildly at Cooper as he heads to the door, raking his fingers through his hair and swallowing nervously before opening the door a crack. "Hi."

Kurt grins and Blaine's heart lurches as he realizes how pleased he is to see him.

"Hey you," Kurt says, suddenly shy. "Ready?"

"Uh...there's been a change of plans," Blaine says as he steps into the communal hallway and closes the door behind him.

"Oh?" Kurt says and Blaine hates the way in which his over eager smile falters slightly.

"Yeah I um....won't be able to make it."

"Oh," and this time the smile slips completely giving way to confusion and hurt. "Can I ask why?"

"I just.....shit. Kurt, some stuff has happened. Big stuff. And I can't....I'm not going to be able to do this anymore. I'm sorry." Blaine looks at the floor as his eyes fill with tears, hating himself more than ever but knowing he has no other option.

"This as in...us?" Kurt asks, his voice small as he fiddles nervously with his hands.

"Yes. I'm sorry Kurt. I really am so, so sorry." Blaine looks to him then, his voice cracking with emotion on the last words as Kurt covers his mouth with his hand and takes a step backwards.

"Blaine..." comes his anguished whisper, holding out a hand to him but Blaine shakes his head and moves closer to the door. "Please. Did I...did I do something wrong?"

"No Kurt, please don't think that," his tears are flowing freely now. All he wants to do is take him into his arms and keep him there forever. But he can't. He mustn't. "As cheesy as it sounds, it's not you, it's..."

"No, don't say that. I don't get it," Kurt sobs, "you were fine this morning. I didn't hear anything from you after my text but I just thought you were working and now....now this. I don't....what happened?"

"I told you. Something changed."

"But what?" Kurt cries, anguish giving way to anger as his frustration grows. "And why won't you tell me? Why are those walls back up? I thought we'd gotten past that."

"We did....we have. But I just.... My life.....Kurt there's just not room for you in it, or any relationship."

"Not even as a friend?" he chokes out.

"Maybe, eventually. I hope. But right now I need to be alone."

"Then I guess there's not much I can do." Kurt whispers resignedly.

Blaine wants to yell, to scream and plead with Kurt to not give up, to fight for him and beg him to reconsider. He's weak, and Kurt is his biggest weakness of all. He knows if Kurt pushes he'll break down and tell him all. But Kurt's walls are back up now too and he turns, head down and ready to walk away as everything in Blaine shatters at the sight of him trailing dejectedly down the hallway. "Kurt!" he calls desperately, a sob escaping him as Kurt hesitates at the top of the stairs. "I love you. Please, never forget that. I love you so much."

"Then why are you breaking my heart?" Kurt asks, then with a soft shake of his head he is gone.

Blaine re enters the apartment, closing the door and leaning heavily against it before he sinks to the floor and cries until he can cry no more. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he looks up to see Cooper standing over him.

"You really are an idiot, you know that?"

"Fuck off."

"What the hell do you think you're playing at Blaine? Sort it out. I mean it. I love Kurt and I care about him. He's been through enough shit without you dumping him the second you get home."

"Exactly. He's been through enough shit. He doesn't need me and my baggage added into the mix."

"What if he wants it though?" Cooper says, hauling Blaine to his feet and guiding him to the kitchen. "You're not even giving him the chance to decide for himself. That's not fair."

"Oh shut up Cooper, it's perfectly fair. Better even. This way he won't feel like the bad guy when he lets me down gently in three months time."

"Kurt likes kids."

"There's a difference between liking them, between cooing over someone's baby and handing it back with a smile and taking one on full time, one that's not even yours. You know what?" Blaine asks, pausing to laugh bitterly before continuing, "This morning, when we woke up together everything was so perfect. Then he was saying he might have to sell his apartment and I thought, I actually dared to hope that he might consider moving in here. I was going to ask him tonight. I had it all planned in my head. In that blissful moment between making love and falling asleep together I was going to ask."

"Blaine," Cooper says, softening as he hands him a beer. "Just call him and apologize. Ask him to come over and talk to him, explain things."

"No. I can't. Not now."

"But he'll have to find out eventually. You can't hide out here with Lola forever."

"Where is she?" Blaine asks as he looks around, dazed.

"In the guest bed. She fell asleep so I put her pajamas on and tucked her in, but she needs you Blaine, and so does Kurt."

"But that's the problem!" Blaine cries, "I'm not to be relied upon. I don't want people to need me, because I hate being an endless source of disappointment."

"But you're not, you dumbass!" Cooper yells, finally having reached his breaking point. "We just happen to have really shit parents who seem to take some sick pleasure in running us down and belittling us whenever they can be bothered to be a presence in our lives. I have thick skin and learnt to ignore it long ago, I wish you'd do the same. Blaine, what do you think Kurt sees in you? And not just him, his whole damn family have stuck by us and given so much love and support. Do you not get how happy they'd be if they heard you and Kurt were together? You are one of the most caring people I know. And not weak, before you butt in, but caring and considerate of other people all the time. Having them for parents has made you a better person- not worse- because you're mindful of how you always wanted to be treated and try and show that compassion to other people."

"Thank you," Blaine whispers sadly, mournfully. "But I still think this is for the best."

"And I still think you're being a jerk. I'm gonna go. Get some sleep and call me in the morning. And don't forget you've got a small child asleep in the other room."

"As if I could." Blaine mutters as Cooper gathers his things. "Thanks, for all your help today."

"You're welcome bro. She's adorable," Cooper says with a smile which turns into a frown as his phone starts to ring. "Oh great. It's Kurt."

"Don't tell him!" Blaine pleads, and Cooper raises one eyebrow at him.

"Well I won't, but I'm telling you now I'm not explaining your absence at Christmas to Burt," he says with a pointed look as Blaine holds his head in his hands. "Hey Kurt."

"Cooper....." comes the anguished wail which makes Blaine hate himself even more as he hears it from across the kitchen.

"I'm on my way dude," Cooper says simply, hanging up and turning to face Blaine once more. "You're a complete moron."

The door slams and Blaine is left to wander down the hallway to the guest room to take in Lola, curled up on her side, thumb firmly in her mouth as she dreams. Rummaging in the bags still piled up in the corner he finds what he's looking for. A small nightlight in the shape of a ladybug which he snuck into the basket when Cooper wasn't looking. He was petrified of the dark when he was small, can remember all too well the all encompassing fear and dread which would descend when the nanny would turn out the light. He had begged his parents for a nightlight, the nanny had argued his case too but his dad had been insistent that he needed to be a big strong boy and not a wimp. Of course, he has no clue whether Lola is scared of the dark, but he doesn't want to take the risk of her waking up afraid. He plugs it in, smiling when the soft glow fills the room. Kneeling at the side of her bed, he gently smooths her hair.

"Goodnight cutie," he whispers, stopping short of kissing her in case he wakes her- and also because he fears if he kisses those rosy little cheeks once he'll never want to let her go.

He wakes in the middle of the night, the sound of wailing foreign to him as he tries to get his bearings, heart twisting when he realizes Kurt isn't next to him. Rubbing his eyes he stares into the blackness trying to locate the noise before he remembers Lola. He races down the hallway to find her sat up on the floor, whether she had fallen out or just put herself there Blaine doesn't know, but instinct directs him to scoop her into his arms immediately, smoothing her hair and trying to calm her sobbing.

"Shh, Shh, Lola it's okay. It's okay."

"M...m...momma!" the little girl wails as Blaine holds her tighter, standing and walking down the hallway to his own room.

"Lola....cutie....momma's not here."

"Momma," she repeats but her sobbing subsides somewhat as Blaine lies down in his bed with her. She buries her little face into his neck, her small body curling into his and acting as his own personal heater. She snuffles, her body still shaking with uneven breaths as he wraps his arms around her. Giving in, he places a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Go to sleep Lola. Daddy's here."

* * *

"I just....d....d...don't get why," Kurt sobs, "what did I do that was so wrong? Did he just rethink the whole thing?"

"No. Kurt....he's just....my brother is just being a total dick about some things."

"But what? Please Cooper, I can't talk to anyone about this except you because you're the only person he's come out to."

"Kurt," Cooper sighs heavily as he leans back on the armchair. "He's asked me not to tell you, so I need to respect that. But I think you should go over there tomorrow morning."

"I can't," Kurt sniffs as he reaches for another tissue.

"Ignore whatever he said. I'm telling you, go over there and make him talk."

"No." Kurt says, hardening. "He said he wants to be left alone. I'm not going to beg."

"Oh for fucks sake. You two are as bad as each other. He's fucking miserable, you're sat here crying your eyes out. Just talk. Communicate. It's what adults do in relationships, which is why I'm single."

"Then he can come here and apologize to me. I turned up for a date and got dumped on the doorstep. No reason, just lame excuses about it not being me, it's him blah blah."

"Kurt....he won't come to you. You know him as well as I do- if not better. You know how hard he is on himself. Our miserable excuses for parents have pretty much turned him into this guy who doesn't realize, or isn't willing to accept how truly amazing he is."

"Are your parents something to do with all this? He said something had happened."

"No. Not directly. But they are responsible for his reaction. Please Kurt, just go over tomorrow."

"No."

"Fine." Cooper stands, running his hands through his hair exasperatedly. "I'm going home. It's been an incredibly long day, I've had to be far too mature for someone like me and my brain hurts. I'll only tell you what I told him. You're a moron. Goodbye."

Kurt laughs in disbelief, but falls back on the couch as soon as the door shuts. He feels sick to his stomach as he brings Blaine's face to mind. He wonders what he's doing right now, and thinks of calling him. But no. Two can play the stubborn game, Kurt thinks to himself as he heads for the shower. Blaine knows where to find him when he's ready, and Kurt Hummel will not beg for anyone.

Still, it doesn't stop him waking in the middle of the night, arms aching to hold him and chest heaving as a fresh bout of tears make their way down his cheeks. Across town, Blaine cradles Lola and bites back tears of his own as he wonders if Kurt is thinking of him. Both stare at the ceiling until dawn.

* * *

Lola wakes slowly the next morning, staring at a snoozing Blaine who dropped off only a few minutes before. She extends her hand and runs her small fingers over his stubble in wonder, giggling when he smiles with closed eyes and pretends to nip at her fingers.

"Good morning cutie," Blaine says, voice rough with tiredness as he bops her nose slightly.

"No momma." Lola says matter of factly, and Blaine doesn't know whether to feel sad or relieved that she's not heartbroken over her mothers continued absence.

"No, not today. Just me and you. But that's okay. We can do this."

"Juice."

"Yes! Juice. That's a good place to start. I can do juice." Picking her up, he pads into the kitchen, setting her on the counter before starting to fix her juice. Halfway through he figures the counter wasn't the safest place for Lola when he catches her crawling precariously towards the knife block. "Okay. Um...we need one of those...things." He says, balancing her on his hip and bringing up google on his iPad. "A high chair! That's it. Okay. Which one do you like?" he asks, fully expecting her to point to one and feeling disappointed when she doesn't comply, tugging on his hair instead. In the end he picks a random pink one and chooses the express shipping option. Lola begins to whine, and Blaine guesses correctly she must be hungry.

An hour later he's regretting the bowl of Lucky Charms he gave her, as the little girl runs amok in the apartment while he cleans the dripping milk from the walls and kitchen cupboards. He makes a mental note to feed her himself from now on, and to stop by a whole foods store to get some sugar free cereal. It takes until noon for him to bath and dress her successfully, thanking all things holy for the saints who post instructive videos on the Internet as he learns step by step how to bathe a baby and change diapers. As the sugar wears off Lola curls next to him on the couch, thumb in mouth and holding her bunny as she drifts into a contented nap. Extricating himself delicately, he drapes a blanket over her before heading to his study to call his brother.

"Are you still a moron?"

"Well good morning to you too Cooper."

"Afternoon Blaine. It's nearly one."

"Oh."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Have you called Kurt?"

At the mention of his name everything in Blaine lurches. "No," he admits quietly.

"Moron."

"I've been so busy Coop!"

"Ha! Just you wait. How is she anyway?"

"She's uh....yeah."

"I can hear you smiling."

"I have to admit she's very cute. But holy crap is it hard work. She's just having a nap, thank god. I've got to catch up on some work."

"Just take as long as you need. Taylor and Mike can fill in for a while."

"I know, but it's not fair to leave it to you to run the whole ship, you've already done it for three weeks."

"I don't mind Blaine, really. It's more important to me that you get on your feet with Lola and sort things out with Kurt."

Kurt. Even the sound of his name is like a knife running through his heart. Blaine swallows over the lump in his throat, pressing his fingers into the corners of his eyes to ward of the tears threatening to pool there. "Is he okay?"

"How many times am I gonna have to call you a moron before you get the hint? No he's not okay. I told him to turn up at your apartment, but he's too stubborn.

"No! He can't come here!"

"Blaine! He's gonna have to find out sometime."

"I know, but I....just .....like you said. Let me get on my feet with Lola first, okay?"

"Okay. You know what? I'm your brother and I love you, but I am seriously disappointed in you over all this. I'm not gonna pretend otherwise. You have the best opportunity at real happiness that you've ever had, probably ever will have and you're fucking it up."

"Well thank you for your insight Cooper, but please stay out of it. It's my life and my business. When I want your opinion I'll ask for it," Blaine snaps, hanging up before he can argue any more.

Walking back into the living room he falls on the couch next to Lola and plays absentmindedly with her curls.

"Looks like it's just me and you kid. Just me and you."

**  
  
  
**


	15. Chapter 15

"And you've not heard from him at all?" Rachel asks in disbelief. It is a sweltering August afternoon and Kurt and Rachel stroll through Prospect Park. Kurt pushes Zach in his stroller under a parade of shady trees, smiling fondly as his tiny nephew bats at the shadows.

"Nothing."

"What happened? I thought the vacation went well."

"It did Rach," Kurt sighs. "I just.....I don't know what's going on. I only know that I miss him terribly." And it's the truth. In the three long weeks since he last saw Blaine, Kurt's life has been entirely miserable apart from the time he's spent with Zach. He's thrown himself back into work in a desperate attempt to keep his mind from filling with happy memories, now made bittersweet by the end of their brief fling. He's tried to put it down as just a holiday romance, but he knows in his heart it was so much more. He didn't doubt when Blaine told him that last day that he still loved him, he's just no closer to knowing why he ended things so abruptly.

By night Kurt is unable to keep his mind from wandering, usually ending up crying into a fitful sleep which is full of reoccurring dreams featuring Blaine, causing the ache to run even deeper when he wakes in the dark, alone in an empty bed. He's been close to calling him on so many occasions, but there's a nagging in the back of his mind which tells him Blaine will contact him when ready....he just wishes he knew when that would be.

"Well something obviously upset him," Rachel carries on. "You don't just cut yourself off from everyone without good reason. Have you talked to Cooper?"

"I've tried," Kurt says sadly, "he knows what's up, but Blaine's asked him not to say anything. Plus he's now so busy with work that he's barely got time to answer his calls."

"Why? Isn't Blaine working?"

"No. That's what worries me the most. I can't remember a time that he wasn't working."

"Kurt, you have to go over there."

"I can't," Kurt answers with a sad shake of his head. "He wanted to be left alone."

"That's a load of crap. Nobody wants to be left alone. He probably really needs someone right now."

"Go yourself if you're that concerned then," Kurt snaps at her.  

"Don't bitch at me," Rachel snipes as she stops with her hands on her hips.

"I'm sick of it. All Cooper keeps doing is telling me to talk to him, my dad said we're being childish and now you're starting. I don't chase after anyone Rachel. If Blaine has a problem with me then that's his look out, and for him to decide when he wants to stop being so pathetic. I wish people would stop laying all the blame at my door."

"Is that what you think? That all this is over you? Kurt, what's going on? Oh my god!" Rachel shrieks, lowering her voice as a few people turn to look at them. "You two hooked up didn't you?"

"Rach....."

"You did! Don't even try and deny it! Well in that case Kurt, yes I am placing the blame squarely at your door because you acted on those feelings which I had already told you were just a fallacy. And now Blaine is running scared, thinking you're trying to turn him into something he's not. The poor guy probably really regrets it and doesn't want to hurt your feelings by letting you down."

"I'm not even going to have this conversation with you Rachel," Kurt says exasperatedly.

"He's your best friend Kurt. There are some boundaries that should just never be crossed."

"And you're little miss innocent yourself, are you? Look at the way you treated Finn all those years during college? Did I call you out on that then? Did I?" he yells.

"Yes!" Rachel yells back. "You did. I will tell you what I think Kurt, whether you want to hear it or not is up to you."

"Well I don't," he snarls at her, "things have happened that you know nothing about, and I'm not about to tell you either. Just keep the hell out of my life."

"Oh fine Kurt," Rachel snaps as she seizes the stroller and turns it around. "Carry on being the bitch you always were. Pushing people away when all they're trying to do is help. I'd have thought the fact that me, Cooper and your dad are all trying to convince you to talk to him would mean something. You're at your best when you're around him, and vice versa, and now you're not its like you're back to the Kurt we all had when you were immersed in Ian and the wedding. It doesn't matter who makes the first move Kurt, it matters that the move is made. Call me when you're ready."

Kurt returns from the park in a worse mood than ever, glancing at the clock he sees it's nearly four and he braces himself for his daily text from Cooper. Sure enough, just as he opens the fridge to fetch a bottle of water, his phone buzzes on the counter.

**Well?**

_No._

**Moron.**

That's the way their daily texts go, and Kurt is surprised when his phone buzzes again.

**I've had it with you two. I'm taking action.**

*

Across town, Blaine stares at his phone in confusion. He's now expecting the daily question from Cooper, and the inevitable 'moron' but he's never threatened any more. He's just about to reply, asking him what kind of action he means when he's distracted by a loud wail.

Hurrying through the apartment he searches for Lola, laughing as he sees a small pair of feet sticking out the top of the laundry hamper.

"I looked away for two minutes," he says, pulling her free and jiggling her up and down until she's smiling once more. "Come on. It's not as hot out now. Let's go to the playground."  

The next day he's struggling after another sleepless night. His life has fallen into a pattern, one which he's desperate to change but doesn't know how. His days start early when Lola climbs on top of him and badgers him until he wakes reluctantly. The rest of the day is spent attempting to look after her. He doesn't think he's doing too badly, the last time he saw Cooper he seemed impressed that both him and Lola were dressed by ten, a definite improvement from how it was in the beginning. But it's tough, trying to work from home and chase around after her. He's not managed to get out much, so she doesn't have many toys to keep her occupied, and the highlight of both their days is a trip to the local playground. Once she's eventually tucked in for the night, Blaine works as hard as he can, usually trying to salvage drawings that Lola has scribbled on or responding to his seemingly never ending inbox. It's usually nearing dawn when he eventually heads to bed, tired to the depths of his bones but unable to sleep because of Kurt. Kurt, whose face fills those precious few hours he has to himself. His blue eyes haunt him and make everything in him long to pick up the phone to call, but then he remembers it's five in the morning and Kurt is probably fast asleep.

He's daydreaming, pretending to be watching yet another episode of Dora, when a knock comes on the door. Frowning slightly, he rubs at his scruff of a beard and opens the door.

"You kids can't do it all at the same time, can you?" Burt Hummel grumbles as he crosses the threshold. "I might as well buy shares in the airline. First Kurt's wedding, then three weeks later I'm back to meet my grandson and now I'm here to smack you and Kurt upside the head."

"Burt...um...."

"Cooper called."

"Oh," Blaine says as he realizes exactly what 'taking action' meant.

"You got anything you want to tell me?"

"No," Blaine answers nervously as he attempts to usher Burt out again.

"I'm not going anywhere son. Cooper says you have big news and it's the reason you and Kurt aren't speaking."

Blaine sighs heavily in defeat. "Lisa came here, the day after we got back."

"And what? You're giving it another go?"

"Oh god no," Blaine says in horror. "She's moving, or has moved, I'm not sure. Anyway, she's heading to Dubai. She uh....brought me something."

"Blaine, you're making no sense. I just wanna know why you and Kurt have fallen out."

Wordlessly, Blaine leads Burt down the hall and into the living room. Burt looks from Lola to Blaine and back again.

"Wow."

"So...this is Lola." Blaine says softly, the little girl turning to smile at Blaine at the mention of her name.

"No feathers in her hair?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind. Quite the gift. And she's yours I take it?"

"Yes. We had it confirmed last week."

"So what? She lives with you?"

"Her mom left her here, and she's not planning on coming back. I got the forms this morning, she's relinquished all rights to her, meaning I'm now her sole parent."

Crouching in front of her, Burt takes his baseball cap off and smiles at her. "Hey Lola. Nice to meet you." He takes her small hand and shakes it, making her smile and shuffle closer to him. "Blaine she's beautiful."

"Thanks."

"Is your Daddy taking good care of you?" he asks Lola, who smiles again and points at Blaine. "That's right," he says, "your daddy. Can you say Daddy?"

"Babfffff."

"I'll take that as a no," Burt says laughing.

Lola looks to Blaine and points at Burt. "Who is this? Um....well this is....your Grandpa I guess. As near as you'll ever get to one anyway," Blaine says with a sad smile.

"Grandpa. Yeah, I can work with that," Burt says gruffly, holding his arms out and smiling as Lola throws herself into them. "What'd you say kid? You wanna be my grandbaby? I could do with another one to add to the collection. Zach will be lonely on his own." He bounces a now delightfully happy Lola on his knee as Blaine hovers awkwardly in the doorway.

"Uh...Zach. How is he?"

"Good. Growing quickly. Of course if you weren't being so dumb you'd know all that. I'm sure Lola would like to meet him."

"I just...."

"So what is Kurt's problem with all of this exactly? I can't see what difference it makes to him whether his friend's got a kid or not, or was he annoyed at this being the end of your bachelor lifestyle?"

"No. He uh...he doesn't know."

"Excuse me?"

"I haven't told him."

"You're making no sense again. How can he be mad at you if you haven't told him?"

"He's not mad. Well, he probably is because of the way I treated him but you see, he turned up here when Lola had just arrived and I couldn't...." Blaine breaks off and starts to cry, wondering if there will ever be another day when he doesn't cry over this man. "I was so ashamed......I didn't know how to say....and I told him to go because.....he doesn't need all this."

He breaks down sobbing, and Burt settles Lola in front of the television once more before ushering him quickly into the kitchen, taking him in his arms and letting him cry.

"Come on son. Let it out," Burt encourages.

"I can't though," Blaine wails as he tries to get a grip on himself. "Lola...."

"Lola needs a dad who's not so screwed up with emotion that he can't relate to her properly. And don't you be worrying about what your parents would say about you crying. I'm speaking to you as a father and I'm telling you it's okay to cry. Parenthood is overwhelming at the best of times. He'll kill me for telling you this, but the first time Finn was left on his own with Zach he called his mom and cried because he didn't know how to use the sterilizer. We're all the same kid, just stumbling through, blindly finding our way and praying they turn out okay in the end. But to have it suddenly thrust upon you like this, and on your own too... It's a lot for anyone Blaine."

"I just...I just don't know what to think, or feel. I can't...I never wanted kids. And now I think I've fallen so in love with her that it frightens me. I just want to do everything in my power to make her happy and to show her she's loved. But then I think about how embarrassed and ashamed I was when she turned up and I'm overwhelmed with guilt. Cooper is so great with her, and she adores him and then there's me...I wouldn't even hold her at first unless I absolutely had to."

"Blaine listen to me," Burt urges as he holds him tight. "Cooper is great with her I'm sure, but he can give her back. He's fun Uncle Coop, that big goofy guy who comes over and makes her laugh for a couple of hours before leaving you to do all the hard work. I'm not devaluing his influence at all, I love the guy to bits, but it's you who tends to her in the night. It will be you who takes her to her first day at Kindergarten, who will bandage her scraped knees and dry her tears when she falls off her bike. It will be you who stands there on her wedding day, trying your best not to break down and beg her not to leave you, and it will be you who cradles your grandchild and feels like it's history repeating itself. I know because it's happened and is continuing to happen to me- and Carole too. Being a parent is a lifelong guilt trip son. You will constantly doubt, constantly question your choices and decisions, always wondering if you're doing right, if you're being the best dad you possibly can be. And one day....when you see Lola as a happy, well adjusted adult you'll be able to sit back and say 'yeah, I did okay.'  And you know what? You'll look back on the day she first arrived not with regret, or guilt, but with happiness, because that's the day your life changed forever for the better."

"But it's the day I pushed Kurt away too."

"Blaine," Burt pulls back from their embrace, leaning back against the counter and looking him square in the eye. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

"What?"

"I know you, and I know him. I've known how you feel for...well...since the first time I met you. You've always looked at him like he hung the moon and the stars just for you. He was the same, but then he shut himself down. But I'm no fool. I knew what would happen the second Kurt told me he was going on vacation with you. I'm right, aren't I?"

"I'm gay."

"I know that. But that's irrelevant. Well, I guess it's not since Kurt's gay too, but I'm more concerned about you two than I am your sexuality."

"My parents will disown me."

"I'm trying incredibly hard not to laugh right now kid. Who gives a damn what they think? They disowned you and your brother long ago."

"You and Carole have been better parents to us than they ever have been," Blaine says, the words ringing true for him as he says it, and he realizes that the family he needs, the family he so desperately craves, has been there all along.

"Thank you. And if you mean that, then start listening to our thoughts and opinions instead of worrying about theirs. You need Kurt and he needs you."

"Have you seen him?" Blaine asks hopefully.

"No, I came right here. But let me tell you something, that day- when you came to visit Zach- after you left all anyone could talk about was how happy he seemed. Just like he always was."

"My Kurt," Blaine whispers tearfully.

"I'm not saying this will be easy, and maybe you rushed things a bit in the first place- but then the times and the circumstances were ripe for romance I guess. But you can make this work. Call him, text him and he'll come running I promise you."

"Really?"

"Really. Now, I'm gonna go and get aquatinted with this gorgeous new granddaughter of mine, you're gonna pull yourself together and fetch this old man a drink. Then I'm gonna go visit Zach while you and my boy sort this mess out. You hear me?"

"Yes Burt. And thank you."

"Anytime son, anytime."

Burt stays another hour, thoroughly enjoying giving Lola piggyback rides around the apartment and telling Blaine to be quiet when he voices concerns about his heart. Buoyed by his visit, Blaine puts Lola down for her nap and stares at his phone. Calling is out of the question, he can't rely on his voice not to waver and give way. He types several texts but deletes them quickly. Growling in frustration, eventually he types just four words then hits send before he can think any further.

**I miss my Kurt.**

The knock comes only a few minutes later and Blaine rushes to the door, pulling it open and choking back a sob as he sees a flushed Kurt standing there.

 **  
**"Your Kurt misses you too."


	16. Chapter 16

They fall into each others arms, grateful to be back where they belong as Kurt's fingers tangle into Blaine's wild hair and he clutches Kurt's shirt desperately.

"I have missed you so much," Blaine says into the crook of Kurt's neck, as he tries to burrow deeper against him, breathing in his scent and moving one hand to cup his face.

"I've missed you too Blaine." Pulling back, he stares deep into those eyes he has dreamed about so much, smiling softly as his thumb wipes away a small tear from Blaine's cheek, rough with several days worth of growth. "What's with this?" he asks with a tug on the beard, before his eyes flick over Blaine's shoulder and widen in horror. "What the hell happened to your apartment?"

"Um....I think you'd better come in," Blaine says, stepping back to allow Kurt through the doorway.

"You're not gonna make me leave again, are you?" Kurt asks warily.

Blaine shakes his head with a bitter laugh. "No. I've been an idiot Kurt and I'm sorry. But we need to talk."

"I don't know if I like the sound of that," Kurt says as he stares at Blaine's walls. "Is this pen?" he asks, running his fingers along a large blue streak.

"Yeah. Um.... Just....come into the living room."

"Okay I'm officially freaked out," Kurt says as Blaine scrambles to pick up a discarded sippy cup and a small pink giraffe. "What's going on?"

Guiding Kurt to the couch, Blaine rakes his fingers through his hair before taking a deep breath and looking at him. "There's no easy way for me to tell you this Kurt so I'm just going to come right out and say it...... I have a daughter."

Kurt reels for a second as if slapped before blinking rapidly several times. "Since when?" he asks quietly.

"Since eighteen months ago....but I only learned of her existence three weeks ago."

"The day after we got back?"

"Yes. Lisa turned up with her."

Kurt looks around distractedly, taking in the various baby items scattered around. Blaine's apartment is in disarray, far from it's usual cold and clinical look. An open laptop stands on the table, next to a long cold coffee and a plate holding a half eaten bagel. A diaper bag hangs over the back of one chair, a small red jacket next to it and a tiny pair of white sandals thrown on the floor. Kurt can see a random spoon thrown under the table, along with what looks suspiciously like Blaine's solid silver fountain pen with the nib missing, and the living room rug appears to hold a large collection of Cheerios, some crushed to bits underfoot.

"So.....what? She's here? Or has been?"

"She's here," Blaine says calmly, "She's taking a nap right now."

"And you're watching her? She's visiting?"

"She's living here."

"Oh." Kurt's jaw snaps shut in surprise but he quickly recovers. "Lisa too?"

"No. You were right. She's exactly like my mom."

"I don't follow."

"She's left her. Just dumped her and gone to Dubai to live."

"Permanently?" Kurt asks in disbelief.

"Yes."

"Blaine...." Kurt rubs his hands tiredly over his face and lets out a sigh. He didn’t know what he'd expected to find when he got here, but it certainly wasn't this. "I'm gonna need you to tell me everything, right from the beginning so I can try and make some sense of this in my head... Because right now I'm struggling."

Nodding, Blaine swallows nervously a few times before he takes a deep breath and starts his story. It takes a while, but he leaves nothing out, explaining to Kurt exactly what had happened that day and how he had felt about the situation, how panicked and ashamed he had been when Kurt had shown up for their date, and how much he regretted his actions. By the end they are both in tears, and Kurt takes a minute to compose himself before speaking.

"You're keeping her?"

"I don't really have much choice," Blaine sighs, then quickly adds, "I didn't mean that like it sounds. I mean at first....I actually didn't want to. But the other day when Cooper suggested we try and contact Lisa or her parents I felt so angry, so possessive over her. She's mine Kurt. She's my little girl and I'm not gonna let anyone take her away from me," he looks to Kurt earnestly. "You know, when I was six months old my parents moved to Hong Kong for a year."

"What? No I didn't know that. You've never told me."

"It's not really something I like to talk about. I don't remember it obviously, but Cooper does. They missed my first birthday, Cooper's first day of Kindergarten. When they came back I was a walking talking toddler with no clue of who they were."

"Blaine...."

"Then they fired the nanny who had been paid a small fortune to look after us all that time, claiming that we were too close to her and the bond was unhealthy. She was all we had."

"I don't know what to say," Kurt whispers quietly, his eyes filling with fresh tears.

"It was a different nanny every six months after that, no exceptions. It affected us both differently. Cooper hardened himself to it, maybe because he was older, I don't know. But he also became fiercely protective of me. I just became desperate for them to notice me, to care. But that wasn't happening. That's why I can't give her back, Kurt. I can't put her somewhere where she's not loved and wanted. I know what it does to a child and it's just not fair."

"Blaine....I'm so incredibly proud of you. I just want you to know that. I'm so sorry you had to endure all of that. Both of you. I guess that's the reason Cooper's been such a pain in the ass over all this."

"He doesn't like to see people unhappy, and he strongly believes we should work at relationships to make sure we keep the people we love close to us. He's right, of course," Blaine says with a sad smile. "I just can't always see it."

"So he's been on your case too?"

"Yes."

"What made you change your mind then?"

"Your dad is in town."

"He's been here?"

"This morning. Cooper sent him."

"Ha," Kurt laughs softly, "so that's what Cooper meant by taking action."

"I guess so. But he's not the only reason. We talked, and he helped me deal with a lot of things but I was going to contact you anyway. I don't want you to think I was forced into it, I texted you because I wanted to."

"I know," Kurt says kindly. "And actually, I was already on my way here when I got your message. I've had enough of being miserable. I need you."

"Oh God....I need you too Kurt. So much. And I love you beyond all measure....."

"But?"

"But.....your dad said something that made me think. He said that maybe we rushed into things."

"My dad knows?"

"He's known all along apparently. Anyway. He said he could see why things happened when we were away, but that maybe it was all a bit rushed."

"He calls thirteen years rushed?" Kurt grumbles.

"Just hear me out. Please. Things are very different now. The dynamic has altered."

"So this means what? Nothing's ever gonna happen between us?" Kurt flares and Blaine touches his knee softly to try and dispel some of the anger.

"I'm not saying that. I just think.... Maybe not right now."

Sitting quietly, Kurt stares out of the window watching an airplane heading into the distance and wishing they were back to six weeks ago when everything seemed so much more simple.

"It pains me to admit that you're probably right," he says after a while. "But....I still want to be in your life."

"I want that too," Blaine replies quickly. "And I want you to know that my feelings for you haven't changed Kurt. I am in love with you and I don't want anyone else, it's just that right now I need to process all this before thinking about us."

"Friends?" Kurt asks softly.

"Always," comes the reply.

"You know, I love you too. Don't ever think that I don't, however stubborn or ridiculous I may be sometimes," Kurt says. Taking Blaine's hands in his he raises them to his lips, kissing them briefly and smiling at the jolt that shoots through both of them. "Can I see her?"

"I'd like that," Blaine says. Leading him down the hall he stops with his hand on the door. "Her name is Lola."

"Is she a showgirl?"

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind."

Blaine leads him into the room and over to the large bed where Lola is curled up, sleeping contentedly on her side. Kurt crouches down, running a finger gently over her tiny hand.

"Oh my god Blaine she's a mini version of you," he whispers, looking up to him with wide eyes. "Only prettier."

Blaine aims a playful kick at his ass but he can't help but grin at the way in which Kurt is so enraptured. He watches her sleep for a while before tugging Blaine from the room and closing the door once more. Walking into the kitchen, he leans against the counter and holds his arms out, Blaine falling into his embrace eagerly, pulling back after a strong hug to beam at him.

"Look at you, proud daddy."

"Sorry. I can't help it."

"Don't be sorry, she's beautiful. But then she was bound to be- looking so much like you."

"Hmm, well I don't know about that," Blaine mutters, and suddenly his heart is racing as he looks into Kurt's eyes. He seems to be questioning, daring him to close the gap and see what happens.

So he does.

Kurt's hands immediately move to frame his face, crashing their lips together in a desperate kiss which has both of them moaning for more as their tongues meet. His mind clouded with passion, Blaine lifts Kurt's leg and wraps it around his waist, grinding his sudden erection against him and pushing him further against the counter, moving his mouth to place wild and frantic kisses over his cheeks and jaw before grazing his teeth down Kurt's neck, burrowing beneath the collar of his shirt to suck a dark red mark as his hands fumble with his belt. Kurt throws his head back, gasping at the feel of Blaine's stubble against his throat, tugging at his t-shirt and pulling it over his head swiftly, running his hands reverently over the much missed chest hair. He groans blissfully as Blaine's hands move into his pants, gripping his ass roughly as he pulls him nearer still.

"Bedroom," he growls, and Kurt can only nod, desire written all over his face as he surges forward for another burning kiss, pushing Blaine towards the doorway.

"'Lo," comes a small voice, and Kurt catches Blaine just before he trips over Lola, laughing as he buries his head into Kurt's neck and moans.

"This is what my life is going to be like from now on, isn't it?"

"Pretty much. Hello Lola." Kurt steps away from Blaine, fastening his pants quickly and crouching down to the little girl's level, smiling as she ducks behind Blaine's legs. "I'm Kurt. I'm um... A friend of your daddy's," Kurt says, wrinkling his brow in confusion as Blaine pulls a face. "What?"

"Friend," Blaine grumbles as he looks down, trailing one finger along Kurt's chiseled jaw.

"That's what we are, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," he admits reluctantly as he pulls Kurt to his feet. "Yes Lola, Kurt is a friend and if you hadn't woken up I'd now be doing unmentionable things to him involving his legs being wrapped around my waist and my hand being wrapped around...."

"Blaine!" Kurt admonishes, picking up his t-shirt and throwing it to him. "It was you who said not now. We got carried away that's all."  

"We got cockblocked," Blaine mutters quietly so Lola won't hear, but it still earns him a smack on the arm from Kurt.

"So, Lola," Kurt says with a smile as he crouches down once more. "What's say we convince your daddy to shave and then take us out to the boathouse in the park for lunch?"

The little girl hasn't a clue what Kurt is asking, but he has sparkly eyes and mentioned her beloved daddy, so she peeks out and offers a hand with a shy smile which Kurt willingly takes.

"What do you say?" Kurt asks Blaine, and he's powerless to resist the two greatest loves in his life as Kurt scoops Lola up to their eye level. "You up for a date?"

"People....people will think we're a family," Blaine says nervously.

"So?"

"And we're supposed to be just friends."

"Fine," Kurt sighs. "Are you up for an afternoon of good clean fun with your daughter and your best friend?" Kurt tries again.

"I have to shave?"

"Yes."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really. I'm fed up of being alone and I'd really like to get to know this one a little better," Kurt says, looking to Lola who is already absent mindedly twirling Kurt's hair around her finger as she sucks her thumb.

"Okay," Blaine sighs and heads to the bathroom.

He's shocked when he emerges ten minutes later to find Lola and Kurt sitting together on the couch. They are both ready and waiting, Kurt standing and hoisting Lola onto his hip. "All set?"

"Uh....yeah." Blaine says uncertainly. "You've brushed her hair," he says pointing at her curls which are now falling into smooth glossy ringlets around her ears.

"Of course."

"And put her shoes on."

"We're going out," Kurt says confusedly.

"I know. But I didn't hear her screaming. It's usually quite a battle."

"I wouldn't worry Blaine, I spent a large part of my childhood styling My Little Ponies hair, once you've mastered that you can pretty much tackle anything. Okay. Lets go."

They ride the subway to Central Park, Kurt muttering in disbelief at Blaine admitting he hasn't got a stroller.

"We don't really go far, just to the playground a block over. I can carry her that far."

"Right. Tomorrow we're shopping. We'll go to Bloomingdales and Schwarz, pick this little lady up some toys. Then Monday we start looking for daycare."

"Daycare? What? Why would she need daycare?"

"Because you need to work, Blaine. Discuss it with Cooper, but you might like to do four days in the office and one at home, if you think you can work around her."

"But I...I...," Blaine starts to stammer and sets Lola on her feet, watching as she picks a few daisies and hands them to Kurt. "Leave her with strangers? I don't know."

"In a proper daycare Blaine, not just with some random. I'll come visit them with you if you want, and you know....I could watch her once a week if you'd like?"

"I can't ask you to do that," Blaine sighs.

"You didn't," Kurt replies simply. "I offered. It's what friends do, right? Help each other out? And I want to help, so please let me. Besides, who wouldn't want to get this gorgeous girl all to themselves for a few hours a week?" Kurt asks, picking Lola up and kissing the tip of her button nose, laughing as she makes a grab for his sunglasses.

 **  
**Blaine turns to face him, ready to voice his refusal, his determination to never be a burden to anyone wanting to make itself known . But in the end all he can come up with is "Thank you," before he wraps his arms around the pair of them and brings his lips to Kurt's.


	17. Chapter 17

Kurt responds eagerly, snaking his free hand around the back of Blaine's neck and opening his mouth before tiny fingers bat at both their cheeks, Lola shrieking with delight as Blaine rests his forehead against Kurt's and huffs out a laugh.

"What are we doing here?" Kurt asks quietly, but there's no hint of accusation or anger, just a genuine curiosity which right now- along with Lola- is the only thing stopping him from dragging Blaine back to his apartment for rampant sex.

"I don't know," Blaine smiles at him, "friends, I guess."

"Friends who can't stop kissing?"

"Or having wildly inappropriate thoughts about one another? Yeah."

Kurt throws his head back and laughs, feeling more free than he has in weeks. "Okay," he agrees. "Friends it is."

"I've just kissed you in public," Blaine says, the realization suddenly dawning on him.

"It's okay, friends greet each other like that all the time." Kurt says with a smirk.

"Do friends also hold hands as they walk through the park?"

"Always."

As it turns out, they don't get to hold hands for long, Lola deciding she would much rather be in the middle of them than balanced on her dad's hip. They walk to the boathouse, sending shy glances to each other, looking down fondly at Lola as they swing her between them. Their lunch is perhaps more stressful than Blaine has ever known a lunch to be. Lola's refusal to sit in the highchair was bad enough, but her insistence on standing in it and yelling loudly is almost too much to bear. Kurt is calm throughout, eventually managing to distract her with a pen and notebook from his bag.

"You shouldn't let her have that, it's got your designs in it," Blaine grumbles.

"Only a few. It doesn't matter anyway, at least she's quiet."

"I'm sorry."

"Blaine, stop apologizing," Kurt says, reaching over and grasping his hands. "She's probably tired, or over excited. It doesn't matter. She's just a baby. Her tantrums are only gonna get worse as she learns her own mind and to express her displeasure at things."

"Worse?" Blaine asks in disbelief.

"Yes. You know, we might think that sitting down to a long leisurely lunch sounds fantastic, but she doesn't, and she doesn't have the necessary vocal skills to communicate that to you- hence the tantrum."

"I've learned more about her and how to deal with her in one morning with you, than I've learned in the past three weeks," Blaine laughs. "Don't leave us, will you?" he jokes, but his eyes hold more than a hint of desperation.

"I wasn't ever planning on it," Kurt replies softly, looking down at their clasped hands with a small smile.

"Let's rent bikes," he says decisively as they leave the restaurant.

"What?" Blaine asks incredulously, staring at him as everyone mills around them. "You want to rent bikes?"

"Why not? We can get a little trailer for Lola. Come on, it'll be like we're on vacation again."

"I can think of something else to remind us of vacation," Blaine says suggestively, which has Kurt laughing and wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Blaine Anderson, are you propositioning your friend?" he teases.

"Yes," he replies boldly but then Lola falls over, scraping her knee and the moment is forgotten as he scoops her up and holds her close. "Shh, shh cutie, it's okay. Daddy's here."

The hysterical tears gradually give way to occasional sniffles and he looks up to see Kurt watching him, the expression on his face unclear. Blaine raises one eyebrow, questioning, and Kurt blushes.

"It's just....another side to you, that's all. One that I've not seen before."

"Oh. Umm...." Blaine starts, uncertain of what to say or how to act.

"Blaine, don't worry. It's a good thing. Really."

"Sure?"

"Yeah," he replies, putting his arm around him once more as they walk to the hire booth. "Watching you, being all tender and doting....it's kinda hot."

"Let's just.....rent the bikes." Blaine stammers.

So they do, and the next hour is spent riding around the park, trying to dodge errant pedestrians and laughing as they take in Lola's immense enjoyment of the situation. The worries and stresses of the last three weeks are forgotten, both men are happy in the company of each other and this small wonder who has already captured both their hearts.

"She's asleep," Kurt notes as he glances behind him, and he pulls over under a large tree, making sure the trailer is in the shade before he pulls Blaine down to the grass. "Goddamn this park for being so public," he murmurs as he places burning kisses down Blaine's neck.

"Mmmm, parks generally are," Blaine chuckles, but pushes him onto his back anyway and claims his lips in a searing kiss. "Shit. I want you so bad. Why did we have to be outside when she fell asleep?"

"We could carry her back to my apartment, if it won't be weird for you? It's closer," Kurt suggests hesitantly.

"Right now I really couldn't care less where we go. I take it you've changed the sheets since Ian left?"

Kurt doesn't answer, merely gives him a look of disdain before getting to his feet and brushing a few bits of stray grass from his pants. They cycle as quick as they can back to the rental booth and practically hurl the bikes at the bewildered assistant, Blaine plucking Lola from the trailer and cradling her carefully and they walk to Kurt's building as fast as possible.

"So..." Kurt asks as they wait to cross the street. "Tell me, did you ever think your sex life would be reliant on a toddlers nap times? Cause I sure didn't."

Blaine tilts his head to one side, making an adorable face as he speaks. "To be fair, I didn't actually think I'd ever have a sex life to speak of, much less a daughter to boot, so I gotta say no."

"Ha!" Kurt laughs as they walk, "Good point. I'll give you that one. Hey George," he says warmly, smiling at the doorman as they enter.

"Afternoon Mr. Hummel, Mr. Anderson," George says politely and Blaine looks to Kurt, impressed, as they enter the elevator.

"What?"

"You do listen then?"

"Maybe," Kurt says with a twinkle in his eye. "Doesn't mean you're always right though."

Blaine chuckles and hoists Lola a little higher in his arms. She's a dead weight, and he's starting to think his fantasy about holding Kurt up against the wall might have to wait for another time.

"Put Lola in the guest room at the end of the hall," Kurt instructs as he unlocks the door and lets Blaine pass. "I don't want her to wake when you're screaming my name."

“Oh fuck,” Blaine whispers, walking swiftly to the room and placing Lola on the bed before running back to the living room. Kurt is already stripped to his underwear, and Blaine tears quickly at his clothes before pushing him onto the couch and grinding against him as they kiss heatedly. “Jesus Kurt....I need you...” he moans, running his hands into Kurt’s briefs to cup his ass before throwing them to the floor and grasping his hard cock.

“Fuck...Blaine, yes!” Kurt cries, “I wanna...shit...I wanna fuck you over this couch.”

“What are you waiting for then?” he asks with a devilish grin, moving to bend himself over the back, looking down at Kurt who is still lying across it. “I’m all yours.”

“Blaine.... fucking hell.”

The sex is desperate and rough, as Kurt fucks Blaine harder than ever, needing the release and needing to claim him. He bites hard into strong back muscles as his hips buck wildly and Blaine yells.

“Harder Kurt....fuck me harder!”

“Shit Blaine, feels so fucking good! I’m gonna....”

“Yes...come for me baby. Come with me. Holy shit!” Blaine comes hard with a shout and Kurt follows immediately after, letting a string of expletives fly as his balls contract repeatedly and he spills hard into the condom before collapsing over Blaine’s back.

“I like being your friend,” Blaine murmurs into the couch, and Kurt pulls out, a flicker of hurt crossing his features before he rights himself again.

“Yeah....it has it’s benefits,” he says with a soft laugh. He uses the bathroom then pokes his head round the door to check on Lola.

“Still asleep,” he announces as he returns. Blaine lies on the couch in just his underwear, holding his arms out to Kurt.

“Time for a cuddle then.”

“Blaine....” Kurt starts uneasily. He wants to fall into those arms, wants to rain kisses all over his face and whisper I love you a million times over, but in the end he perches awkwardly on the edge and runs his finger over Blaine’s chest as he speaks. “What are we?...I mean...I know we said friends but surely after that.....”

Opening his mouth to speak, Blaine jumps when another voice calls through the front door. “You two finished? Can we come in?”

“Dad!” Kurt yells as he scrambles for clothes. He glances at Blaine who is hastily pulling his shorts on then opens the door to be greeted by a smirking Burt and Finn and an incensed Rachel holding her baby.

“Honestly. We could hear you the second the elevator doors opened,” she huffs, storming past everyone. “There’s a time and a place and this is not it.”

“Excuse me?” Kurt snaps, following her in, Burt groaning as he senses the screaming match that’s about to unfold. “This is my apartment, I didn’t know you were going to turn up did I? We were alone.”

“Not strictly true,” Blaine mutters but one glare from Kurt is enough to silence him.

“Okay, before this all blows up let’s just be calm. Kurt and Blaine are adults Rachel, how they choose to spend their time is their choice. I’m just glad they’ve worked out their differences,” Finn says with a smile at them both.

“Me too,” Burt adds, going to sit and then hesitating. “Do I want to be sitting here?” he asks warily.

“Might wanna try that chair instead,” Blaine says quietly, blushing as Rachel huffs once more.

“So what is this? You two are together now?”

“No, no. We’re just friends,” Blaine says hurriedly, missing the way in which Kurt’s eyes suddenly fill with tears, and the way Burt watches him hurry to the kitchen, choosing instead to direct his gaze to Rachel and Finn. “But I am gay.”

“No you’re not.” Rachel snaps, “You’ve just let Kurt take his frustrations out on you, that’s all.”

“What the actual fuck did you just say?” Kurt screams as he flies back into the room. “How dare you! What are you saying? That he’s just let me have my way because he feels sorry for me again? You implied that last time, and I kept quiet because it was Blaine’s decision to make about when he felt comfortable enough to come out. And that’s your response? No you’re not? You’re a bitch, Rachel Hudson. Do you know how long it’s taken Blaine to gather the courage to come out to anyone?”

“But he kissed me in high school,” Rachel answers, clearly flustered.

“I was also married, Rach,” Blaine says softly, his calm tone dispersing some of the atmosphere. “But I am gay. Please don’t belittle Kurt like that. I am insanely in love with him and it hurts to hear you speak about him in that way. Anything Kurt and I have done, I have entered into willingly- in case you didn’t hear Finn, we are adults.”

“If you’re that in love with him then how come you’re ‘just friends?’” she asks sullenly.

“Because there are other factors to consider, and right now friends works best for us,” he answers, looking to Kurt for confirmation, surprised to find he’s left the room.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, kid,” Burt mutters as he leans back in the chair.

A frown creases Blaine’s brow and he takes himself off to search- finding him curled up on the bed next to Lola, spooning her tiny body against his own.

“You okay?” he whispers from the doorway, and Kurt hastily wipes away a stray tear before he smiles at him.

“Yeah...just thought I’d see how she’s doing. She needs to wake soon, otherwise she won’t sleep tonight.”

“Have I upset you?” Blaine asks with concern, falling onto the bed on the other side so he can talk over Lola’s head.

“No...it’s fine. Rachel made me angry, that’s all.”

“I meant what I said....about being in love with you. I hope you know that?”

“Insanely in love with your best friend who you’re conveniently fucking? Nice.”

“Kurt...I didn’t mean...”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kurt says as he sits up. “Let’s go piss her off even more by introducing your daughter.”

Once the introductions are made, and Rachel has stopped wildly shrieking, the rest of the afternoon passes relatively calmly. Lola is completely taken with Zach, and Burt takes hundreds of pictures of the two together to show Carole on his return. They order takeout and then as evening starts to fall, all begin going their separate ways. Burt makes sure to whisper to Kurt and Blaine individually that they need to sort this mess out for all their sakes, but he doesn’t hold out much hope of them actually listening.

“Are you leaving too?” Rachel asks with a pointed look at Blaine, “I’m sure Lola must be needing her bed.”

“Baby,” Lola says, holding her arms out to Rachel, who takes her and Zach to wait in the shared hallway.

“I..uh...” Blaine starts. Truth be told, he doesn’t want to leave. At all. Ever. But Kurt just flick his gaze to him briefly.

“I have to be up early anyway, so....”

“Right,” Blaine says swallowing as he fumbles for words, “Okay. I’ll um...go then.”

“I’ll call you in the morning about shopping.”

* * *

Blaine sighs, rolling over again and hoping that sleep will come, but it doesn’t. Eventually, risking Kurt’s wrath, he sends a text into the dark night.

You awake?

Yes, comes the almost instant reply, and he smiles as Blaine’s facetime request lights up his screen.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Sorry, I know it’s late. Or early, depending on how you look at it.”

“It’s okay,” Kurt says, and an awkward silence ensues which neither knows how to break. Kurt uses the time to study Blaine, who looks worn out. A shadow of dark stubble frames his face and his hair stands every which way as he runs his hands through it.

“So....today was....long,” Blaine offers, unsure of really what it is he wants to say or how to go about saying it.

“It was.”

“Hmm.”

The silence descends again and Kurt’s patience- thin at the best of times- breaks.

“Did you actually want something Blaine, as in, is there a reason for this call? Only it’s nearing three in the morning and I would like to get some sleep before daylight.”

This seems to snap Blaine to his senses and he sits up straighter in the bed, eyes wide as he hastily apologizes. “Yes! Yes there was...sorry. I just...I just wanted to...uh...thank you.”

“What for?”

“For being so....accepting. About Lola.”

“I told you, she’s amazing.”

“She is,” Blaine agrees, “But you didn’t have to be so great about it, so...yeah. Thanks. You haven’t freaked out at all.”

“Ha! Maybe not externally, no. I’m a bit like a duck- calm on the surface but underneath I’m paddling like crazy to stay afloat.”

Blaine laughs softly. “Well that makes two of us.”

“A pair of ducking ducks. Who duck.”

Blaine’s laugh is all out this time, and Kurt’s insides lurch at the sound and the sight of those perfect white teeth. “Anyway,” Kurt continues, “You didn’t need to thank me. I actually had a really great time today,” he says and the mood shifts, the unresolved tension and spark between them palpable even through their screens.

“Me too,” Blaine says quietly, reaching one finger out as if hoping he could magically touch Kurt’s face. He clears his throat nervously before continuing. “Kurt...there was another reason. I know it’s late, and I know you want to get to sleep but I just....”

 **  
**“I’m on my way.”


	18. Chapter 18

Lola literally screams with delight when she spies Kurt asleep in Blaine’s arms the next morning. She hurls herself on top of them before burrowing under the duvet, dropping tiny kisses over Blaine and Kurt’s cheeks as he rubs at his eyes blearily.

“Oh my God, is she always like this?” he mumbles.

“Pretty much,” Blaine murmurs, not even opening his eyes as he wraps his arms tighter around Kurt’s waist.

“Kurrr!” Lola trills, “Kurrr!”

“Nice. She can’t say daddy, but she can say Kurt. I see how it is,” Blaine huffs in mock annoyance and Kurt laughs, pulling Lola into his arms so the three of them are spooned together.

“Lola, can you say daddy? I bet you can.”

“Kurrr.”

“No, daddy. You need to learn that word, because you’ll need it when we go shopping later, okay? Let’s practice. We pout adorably, then look at him with wide eyes and say ‘daddyyyyyy,’ just like that and hey presto, daddy takes his credit card from his wallet.”

“You’re evil,” Blaine says hotly against his neck, and pulls him tighter- his morning wood sliding deftly into Kurt’s crack.

“No, you doing that to me is evil, because right now we have company.”

“Hmmm, Yo Gabba Gabba,” Blaine says into his ear.

“Excuse me, what? Is that some kind of mating call? Because I’m not familiar.”

“On the tv,” Blaine laughs. “She likes to watch it. There’s a bunch of them saved on the DVR. Go put one on for her then come back here.”

“You leave her to watch tv on her own?”

“When she wakes up this early.”

“You do know that’s why your walls are covered in pen, right?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t seem to care.”

“I don’t like this place. I told you that before. Your apartment is so much better.”

“If you like it that much you’ll have to sleepover sometime,” Kurt says playfully, but his heart pounds in his chest at the mere suggestion.

“Tonight?” Blaine asks, and the eagerness surprises Kurt, who was waiting for the inevitable ‘just friends’ line.

“If you like. Then we can go visit daycare centers.”

“I don’t want to leave her with strangers,” Blaine moans as he peeks over Kurt’s shoulder to see Lola sucking her thumb contentedly and twirling a curl around her finger.

“I know. But we’ll find the best place. And it will only be three days- then one day with me and one with you.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Positive.”

“Okay. Now please go and put the tv on for her...I’m getting desperate.”

* * *

The guilt that follows the sex almost makes it not worth it, Blaine thinks to himself as he scrubs his skin hard in the shower. He knows they shouldn’t be doing this, he knows the situation is beyond fucked up, but he just can’t stay away. And for as long as Kurt wants him, he’ll willingly give himself over- he just wishes it didn’t have to follow with mutual reassurances that they are just friends and nothing more, and rather that it could be followed with endless I love you’s and promises of a future together.

“We are getting a stroller first and she’s going in it, no arguments,” Kurt says firmly as they ride the Bloomingdales elevator to the baby department.

“I don’t mind carrying her.”

“I know you don’t, but you can’t keep indulging her like that Blaine, she’ll become too spoiled and demanding.”

“You’d make a good papa,” Blaine says quietly, regretting it immediately as he sees Kurt tense.

“Yes, well. I’m not. Nor do I think I ever will be, so please stop saying that,” he snaps as finally the doors open and he strides quickly to the counter. He tells the assistant exactly what they require, adding when Blaine is out of earshot that price is no object but style is of utmost importance, figuring he’s going to be spending at least one day a week pushing it.

“You know, I think it’s really great you guys are doing this,” the assistant says to Blaine as she demonstrates various models.

“Thanks,” Blaine replies with a warm smile, oblivious to the implication as he muses over a blue stroller.

“She looks so much like you,” the girl continues. “I guess you used a surrogate? Maybe you could give me the name of the agency? My brother and his partner want to try...”

“Oh no, no.” Blaine corrects hastily as Kurt chases an unruly Lola around the shop floor. “I didn’t use a surrogate, I used my wife.”

“Oh my!” she exclaims, blushing furiously, “I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to cause any offense.”

“None taken, please, don’t worry about it,” Blaine says distractedly as he attempts to fold the stroller.

“It’s just you two looked....very couple like.”

“Oh God,” Blaine moans. “Not you as well.”

“I am so sorry. I’m out of line.”

“No, you’re not. We are.” Blaine looks around to check Kurt is distracted before leaning in conspiratorially. “My daughter lives with me. Her mom isn’t around anymore. But Kurt is great with her, don’t you think?”

“They’re wonderful together,” the assistant agrees as she watches him balancing a stuffed turtle on his head to make Lola laugh. “That’s why I assumed he was her dad.”

“He’s not,” Blaine says sadly, silently adding his wish that he was. “I’m just sleeping with him.”

“Blaine!” Kurt screeches, cheeks flushed red as he looks between Blaine and the poor, embarrassed girl who wishes she had never entered into conversation with this strange man.

“What?”

“Just....pick a stroller already,” Kurt forces out through gritted teeth.

“I like the red.”

“But what if she’s wearing pink one day? She’ll clash.”

“I’ll get a pink one too.”

By the time they arrive at Kurt’s, Blaine is a few thousand dollars lighter, and Lola is several outfits, pairs of shoes and hundreds of toys better off.

“A successful trip, I think we can agree,” Kurt says cheerfully as he swings Lola high in the air to make her laugh.

“You two are bleeding me dry,” Blaine grumbles, but it’s good natured as he watches the two of them together. “So, what now?”

“Now, I’m going to cook us all dinner before bathing this one and tucking her in. Then you and I are going to open a bottle of wine and relax.”

“You don’t have to do all that,” Blaine protests, but Kurt is quick to place a reassuring hand on his arm and stare at him with sincerity in his eyes.

“I know. But I want to. Just...take the night off.”

Perhaps he loves this too much, Kurt thinks to himself as he cuddles Lola while she drinks her milk. Maybe he should walk away- from both of them. He knows this will ultimately lead to heartbreak if Blaine decides to pursue other relationships and Kurt finds himself unable to move on. Perhaps a clean break would be best. To end the physical intimacy right now. To distance himself from Lola as much as he can and to try and pretend that his heart doesn’t thump louder in his chest whenever Blaine touches him, or that his eyes don’t fill with tears whenever Lola snuggles against him or whispers his name.

Of course, he doesn’t- but he’s still thinking these thoughts three weeks later when Rachel calls him at work. On the surface, things are going great. For some unfathomable reason, Ian is still paying half the mortgage every month, meaning he hasn’t had to sell the apartment. He could- if he really wanted to- try and contact him. But he forces that situation to the back of his mind and focuses on everything else instead. Mondays and Tuesdays are spent deep in work and on Wednesdays Blaine and Lola arrive at six on the dot for dinner and a sleepover. He looks after the little girl all day on a Thursday- easily the highlight of his week- before Blaine arrives again. After work on a Friday he drives to Blaine’s apartment where they spend the weekend together until the cycle starts again.

Domestic bliss.

Except it’s not. Because Kurt is in deep. Deeper than he ever imagined he could be, and certainly far too deep for a man like Blaine who professes to anyone who will listen that they’re just friends. He could assume the problem came from Blaine trying to deal with his sexuality. But on the contrary, he’s come out to everyone in his firm, Kurt’s entire family, Cooper’s roommates- even George the doorman. So Kurt can only assume the problem comes from being with Kurt himself. That for whatever reason, and despite sleeping with him night after night, Blaine just doesn’t want to be with Kurt in that way.

Cooper tells him he’s a moron on a regular basis. His favorite word of course, but he turns the tables on Kurt, asking how he would feel if Rachel let Finn treat her this way, and he is silent as he contemplates it. When he can’t reply, Cooper looks at him pointedly over Lola’s head and tells him, for what feels like the millionth time- that he needs to put his foot down, walk away and find a life of his own.

“....So anyway, I’ve already called Cooper and he’s happy to sit for both of us. So I can bring Zach to you, or Lola might like to have her first sleepover at Aunt Rachel’s.”

“What? Why are you even asking me this? Blaine is her dad. Call him.”

“You’re as good as.”

“I am not! Anyway, I’m telling you now Blaine will not let Cooper in charge of two babies at once.”

“He will, because you’re going to convince him for me. Come on, Kurt. Mercedes only visits once in awhile, and Santana and Quinn being here too- it’s too good an opportunity to pass up.”

“Ugh,” Kurt sighs heavily. “Fine. Tomorrow night, The Glasshouse at eight."

“Thank you!” she squeals, hanging up quickly before he can change his mind.

*

 

"Will you just quit looking at your phone?" Kurt says, unnecessarily waspish and certainly more bitchy than he's been recently, but the continual presence of Blaine's hand on his thigh is a distraction.

"I can't help it. I'm worried it might be broken. I've not heard from him. Maybe I'll just call..."

"You will do no such thing. She's fine. Cooper is responsible....well....in a way. But whatever, she will be safe with him." Paying the cab, Kurt steps out onto the sidewalk and waits for Blaine to catch him up. "So, how are you feeling?"

"Excited to see everyone, nervous about telling Quinn she effectively turned me gay."

Kurt laughs in spite of himself, "Yeah, that may not be the best way to go about it."

"Kurt," Blaine stops them outside the restaurant door, one hand on his arm and the other moving to his hip. "You look really beautiful tonight." Closing the gap between them, he places the softest brush of a kiss to Kurt's lips, who pulls back, staring at the ground as he swallows over the sudden lump in his throat.

"Don't," he whispers, making Blaine strain to hear him above the traffic. "Please don't."

"Kurt?" The concern is evident in his voice as he gently hooks a finger under Kurt's chin and tilts his face up to look at him, but the arrival of a screaming Mercedes breaks the moment and Blaine watches Kurt's mask fall back into place as he greets her.

“Well well Blaine Anderson, I have to say you have rendered me almost speechless,” Santana remarks over dinner. “I was expecting the usual- work, work, Cooper, work, Kurt, work. But no. Instead you come out as a flaming homosexual and then announce your daughter from your straight marriage is living with you. Wow.”

“Yeah...uh...it’s certainly been an eventful few months,” he replies bashfully.

“And you!” Santana continues, turning her attention to Kurt who is staring fixedly at his empty wine glass. “I was expecting you to have hooked up with like a gazillion different guys since Ian, but you’ve just been completely boring.”

“That’s never been my style Santana, and you know it.” Kurt snaps. Blaine watches him from the corner of his eye. He seems to be hating every second of this evening, and he’s not sure why.

“I know, but you got dumped at the altar, Hummel. At the fricking altar. I’d have thought you would have taken your anger and humiliation out on the entire gay community, that’s all.”

“Yeah well I didn’t. I’ve been busy with work, and uh...helping Blaine out.” His face reddens as he says it, knowing that’s all he is right now- a help. In more ways than one.

“You know, you two would totally make a great couple,” Quinn says, gesturing between them with her fork. “I mean, I know we looked good together Blaine, but if you’re gonna go gay, I’d say you should hook up with Kurt here.”

Blaine bites back the urge to inform her- again- that he hasn’t suddenly decided to ‘go gay,’ as if he’d woken up one morning and just fancied a change, and smiles softly instead.

“I need more to drink. Anyone else?” Kurt asks, in a desperate bid to shut Rachel up, who's bound to start, but she’s already talking over him.

“Oh they’ve already hooked up, on Kurt’s honeymoon no less,” she says with a giggle. Finn tries to silence her with a gentle touch to her arm, he can see all too well how much this is paining his brother and how awkward it is for Blaine, but Mercedes picks up on the comment and lets out a shriek.

“You did not! Oh my God you two that is insane!”

“How was he?” Santana asks Blaine, who stares at the tablecloth but still can’t resist a smile.

“It was...he was...utterly perfect. He is utterly perfect,” he says shyly, and sneaks a glance to his right to find Kurt staring at him in abject horror.

“Shut up Blaine. I don’t know how much you’ve had to drink, but just shut the hell up.”

“What? I haven’t drunk that much. I was just...she asked...” he says, clearly flustered at Kurt’s tone.

Rachel, giddy with the effects of alcohol after so long without, giggles again and leans over the table, “That’s not the best bit though- they’re still hooking up. Like, all the time.”

“Rachel...” Finn tries to warn, but Santana has that gleam in her eye and she can’t resist barbing them that little bit more.

“Wow Blaine. Yet again you surprise me. You come out after all these years and then immediately find yourself a fuck buddy? Nice. Playing to the gay male stereotype I see.”

“He’s not...”

“Yeah I am,” Kurt says boldly, as he downs the whiskey he ordered and grimaces slightly. “That’s all I am.”

“Well I’m disappointed,” Mercedes says. “You two are best friends. Why the hell are you fooling around together? With no strings? You’re both crazy if you think that will ever work.”

“You’re head over heels for each other,” Quinn adds, and Blaine stares at her in surprise. “Let’s be honest, you probably always have been. I’ve never seen you two look at anyone else the way you look at each other.”

“Quinn is right,” Santana chips in, “I don’t believe in soulmates, but if I did- you two would be my definition of it. And I’d have said that even if you had never come out Blaine. There’s this weird...connected vibe going on between you two that I just don’t get from anyone else.”

“Will you all just shut the fuck up!” Kurt yells, face flaming as he slams his glass down. “Blaine and I are friends, that’s it. That’s all we’ll ever be. He has his life and I have mine. Now please, stop with all this soulmates crap and move on to another subject. Preferably one that doesn’t involve me, or my sex life.”

Blaine’s whole face crumples as he breaks free from the table and runs to the bathroom, barely managing to suppress a sob before he pushes the door open. The occupants of the table look to each other awkwardly, no one sure of what to say. It falls to Finn to break the silence.

“Always him, Kurt. You always take your anger out on him. I get that this whole friends thing isn’t working for you, but do you really have to cut him down like that? Can’t you see it’s not working for him either?”

“It is though,” Kurt hisses, still seething and now feeling like everyone is ganging up on him. “It’s all he wants. He tells me on an almost hourly basis.”

“Dude, I’m telling you, he may say that but it doesn’t mean he actually believes it.”

“Oh get over it Finn. It’s my life not yours, and friends is all Blaine and I will ever be.” He sees Finn staring over his shoulder and he turns, heart sinking as he takes in Blaine standing there. As ever, when he is angry, Kurt only sees what he wants to see- in this case it’s Blaine staring him down, silently agreeing. Everyone else sees a guy with red rimmed eyes, begging the love of his life not to give up on them.

“That’s okay Finn,” Blaine says softly- his voice hoarse with emotion. “Kurt’s right. We’ll only ever be just friends. Nothing more.”

“You see?” Kurt yells, throwing his hands up in frustration, “Friends. If I hear that word one more fucking time I’m gonna scream. I just...I’ve gotta go.”

“Don’t you dare go after him,” Finn says to Blaine, but he’s already opening his wallet and throwing some money onto the table.

“I have to,” he says, the anguish in his voice evident. “I’m sorry guys, it was good to see you. Hope we can do it again sometime.” And he’s gone. Bursting out onto the street, he glances this way and that before he spies Kurt walking swiftly towards the subway. “Kurt!” Running to catch him, he is surprised when Kurt stops and turns, tears flowing down his face. “Please Kurt, what’s going on here? Tell me, cause I just don’t even know which way is up at the moment.”

“I...I...” Kurt starts, so desperate he feels like he could hurl himself at Blaine's feet and beg him to take him as his boyfriend. But his words ring loud in Kurt’s ears. ‘Not right now’ and 'just friends’ replay over and over as he forces himself to make eye contact. “I can’t do this type of friendship anymore.”

“What does that mean exactly?” Blaine asks, everything in him soaring at the prospect of those words meaning what he’s longing for.

“It means....It means I still want to be your friend, Blaine. Of course I do. But it’s got to go back to how we were. No hand holding, no cuddling or kissing and certainly no more sex. I’ll still watch Lola on a Thursday, maybe visit the playground with you occasionally, but that’s it. No more sleepovers, no cosy dinners or movie marathons. I can’t Blaine. I just can’t. I need to walk away from this and find my own life.”

“With somebody else?” Blaine asks in a small voice.

“Maybe. Eventually, yes.”

Blaine is surprised he manages to stay upright with everything swimming around him, the normally loud roar of the traffic takes on a muted hum as he tries to focus on Kurt’s face. Somewhere inside of him a voice is screaming, telling him this is not okay, and he needs to hold Kurt and kiss him until he changes his mind. That he needs to declare his undying love and beg him to stay by his side until the end of time. But Blaine is Blaine. Shy, desperate to please, constantly seeking approval in the eyes of others and above all- when it comes to Kurt- weak.

So he does what he always does. Swallows, fixes a vague smile in place and nods politely. “Of course. If that’s what you want.”

“It’s how it has to be,” Kurt says as he stares at the ground, unable to look up for fear of losing it completely.

 **  
**“I understand. Well. I guess I’ll see you on Thursday then. Goodnight Kurt.”


	19. Chapter 19

Stop moping,” Cooper says as he throws a pencil across the table at Blaine.

“I’m not moping.”

“Yes you are, and we need to get these plans finished before Mr. Ferguson arrives at three.”

“I’m just sad for Lola.”

“Does she miss him?” Cooper asks, and without even looking up from his work he can picture Blaine staring out of the window and looking all forlorn as he speaks, because that’s how he’s been for over a week.

“Yeah,” he says morosely. “I had to prise her from him on thursday. She kept asking for him so I text him on Sunday to ask if he wanted to come to the park with us but he said he was too busy.”

“Bullshit.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do, because when Finn and I got back from the game he was sat on Rachel’s couch, crying.”

“He was crying?” Blaine asks. He feels mixed emotions at this news, one one hand he can’t bear the thought of Kurt being upset, and him being unable to comfort him. But on the other....it shows there’s still a depth of feeling to all this for Kurt- and that gives him a small grain of hope.

“He’s fucking miserable. You both are. And what’s more, if you don’t sort this soon you won’t even have a friendship left to talk about.”

“But he said...”

“Who gives a shit what he said, Blaine? You know what he’s like. These walls come up like a defense mechanism and he does and says the most stupid stuff because he can’t allow anyone to see him hurting. I’m telling you, you need to fight for him or you risk losing him forever.”

“But...it’s not as simple as asking him to be in a relationship with me Coop. There’s Lola as well.”

“So? She worships him.”

“I know, and that’s what scares me the most. Does Kurt really want to take this on? Take us on? Because he can’t decide a year down the line that he wants something different, Lola would never recover. Neither would I but I’m an adult and I’d have to just get on with it, but she...”

“Do you really think he’d do that to you? To her?”

“I don’t know. I want to say no, but sometimes he...”

“Sometimes he puts walls up and isolates himself, as I said before, because he’s scared of getting hurt.”

“Yes, and if that happened it’s not just him I’ve lost. It’s Burt and Carole, Finn and Rachel- the only family I’ve ever known and the only family Lola will ever have apart from you.”

“But you’re doing just the same as he is Blaine!” Cooper cries exasperatedly. “In fact if anything, you're worse! You’re not even allowing Kurt the luxury of knowing how you feel, of making the decision for himself just in case you get hurt. Short of banging your heads together I don’t know what else to do here!” Pushing back from the table he paces back and forth angrily, running his hands through his hair as he speaks. “Okay. Tell me, if you could have Kurt in your life in any capacity you choose, what would it be? Friend, boyfriend?”

“My husband and Lola’s Papa,” Blaine replies without a second of hesitation, then claps his hand over his mouth as the realization hits him. “Holy Fuck!”

“EXACTLY!” Cooper yells, so loud that the two other architects peer into the room to check everything is okay before disappearing again quickly at the sight of a dishevelled, exasperated and desperate Cooper staring them in the face. “Jesus fucking Christ Blaine. You love him enough you want to marry the guy, I’d say you need to act. Now.”

“I need to finish this drawing though. I’ll talk to him when I pick Lola up.”

Luckily, he manages to duck as the wastepaper basket hurls past his head, but he can only try and shelter as best he can from the range of drawing implements hurled at him. “I’m going out,” Cooper huffs angrily, flinging one last ruler his way before he leaves.

* * *

“Hello Kurt.”

Everything in him freezes at the voice, and he turns slowly, stepping out of the coffee line to stare at the figure sitting by the window.

“Ian.”

“Been busy I see,” he says, gesturing to the stroller.

“Oh she’s...she’s not mine,” Kurt stammers as he runs his eyes up and down. Shit, he looks good.

“No prizes for guessing who she does belong to though,” Ian remarks, then stands and hugs Kurt awkwardly- Kurt’s refusal to let go of the stroller making it difficult to embrace fully. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Um..no. Thanks. I’m good.”

“Why were you standing in line then?” Ian asks softly with a small smile.

“Oh. Well, I guess I could get a mocha.”

“Sure. Anything for the little lady?”

“No, thanks. I have her juice in the bag.”

“Take a seat Kurt. I’ll get the drinks and then we can talk.”

Kurt watches him walk to the counter before he sinks into a chair and tries to regulate his breathing. Why now? He mentally curses the gods of fate for placing Ian in his path at one of the lowest points in his life. "What the hell do I do?" He whispers to Lola through gritted teeth as he returns Ian's cheery wave.

"Dog! Dog Kurr, dog!" is Lola's helpful response as she looks out the window.

"So...you probably have some questions," Ian starts as he sets two mugs down.

"Damn straight. Why? Where the fuck have you been? Why haven't you contacted me, and why is half the mortgage payment still coming from your bank every month? And that's just for starters."

"Kurt....do we have to? Now?"

"Well there's not gonna be another time," Kurt snaps, feeling a small glimmer of satisfaction when Ian winces and his cheeks flush slightly.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I really am. What I did....it was inexcusable. I've been staying with my brother during the week and my parents out in Jersey at the weekends, so the mortgage....well I've had no other bills to pay, and I didn't want to give up on it just yet."

"Give up?" Kurt hisses, "Give up? I kind of think you already did that when you packed every item you possessed and ran out on me while I was waiting to marry you."

"Shit. I know, I've been over and over it Kurt. I hate myself for what I did, and I am so, so sorry. If it makes you feel any better I've been torturing myself over it ever since."

"It doesn't."

"Right."

Kurt distracts himself with Lola for a moment, fumbling in his bag to find a cookie he gives it to her with a smile which turns into a small laugh as she kisses his fingers. "Ta."

"Welcome," he says as he ruffles her curls.

"Wow."

"What?" he asks, his expression hardening as he turns to Ian once more.

"You're really good with her."

"It's easy- she's completely adorable."

"Because she's Blaine's."

"What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It's always been him Kurt. I know," Ian says, and his words hold no hint of anger, just sadness as he rests his chin on his hand and smiles even as his eyes swim with tears.

"I don't..." Kurt starts, but there's really no use denying it. "Is that why you left?"

"Yes."

"Because you realized?"

"No, I knew from the second you introduced me to him. I knew he had your heart, but I just hoped there was still a tiny piece left over for me."

"There is- was- is, oh I don't know." Kurt says, softening as he instinctively reaches across the table for Ian's hand. "I guess it's my turn to be sorry."

"No, I knew what I was getting myself into. I just...fell for you. Hard. And you were content to play along. We had some good times."

"We did," Kurt says with a smile. He notices Lola falling asleep, eyelids drooping as she sucks her thumb so he lets go of Ian's hand to recline the stroller- surprising both of them when he takes it again.

"Kurt, when we met, Blaine...he was- or rather, is, a really good guy. I actually liked him. But I knew I could never compete with him. You see, the funny thing is, at first it didn't bother me. On some level I guess I felt like I was settling, and like you were as well. But Blaine was unobtainable. He was dating, then he got married. Don't think I didn't know how much that wedding hurt you, Kurt. That night, when you walked out on me, I nearly ended it. But when you came back the next morning you looked so fragile, so lost and afraid- like the world you always knew was slipping away from you and I thought, I dared to hope that I could be your constant. The one thing that held it all in place for you. I didn't know, even then, how closely your lives were intertwined. Marriage was never going to occupy Blaine, to keep him out of our lives, because him and his brother are as much a part of your life as Finn, or Carole. I could see us, in the future, all sat around your parents house at Christmas, while our kids and theirs all played together. And I knew I would look over to you and see you watching him, wishing his kids were yours as well- rather like you're doing now I guess. And the knife would twist itself that little bit more, the seed of bitterness planted the very first time I saw his face would shoot up further..."

"Ian...I had no idea..."

"The thing is though Kurt, all of this and the knowledge that this was the life I was choosing for myself, didn't stop me. Because I loved you so much, and I was so pathetically grateful to have you in my life in any capacity. Even when Blaine divorced, and I had to sit through those excruciating dinners, or force cheer on a night out with him and Cooper in a bar, I still didn't care. I actually found I enjoyed his company. On any other level I think we could have been great friends. Then Paul noticed."

"Your brother? He noticed what, that I liked him?"

"Not liked, no. That you were in love with him. He told me I was an utter fool. It was two weeks before the wedding. And we argued, I told him that you loved me, he said there was no way you could. I disagreed, and I also told him that it was irrelevant anyway, that none of it mattered because Blaine was straight, couldn't give you what you wanted, needed. He laughed in my face and said if I honestly believed that the feeling wasn't mutual then I needed my head examined. The next day, you two went for tux fittings and then we met for dinner, remember?"

Kurt nods, too stricken to speak.

"And it all fell into place, when I saw you two walking across the restaurant together. Everything. And suddenly, all these far flung fantasies, these ridiculous worries I had created in my mind, became real possibilities." He pauses, composing himself for a second and sipping his coffee. "I am not, in any way excusing what I did. I felt like the worlds biggest bastard. But the more I thought about it, the more it began to eat away at me inside. I knew it would only be a matter of time before I lost you to him completely, heart, body and soul. Looks like I was right. Maybe I shouldn't have come back after all."

"No, this isn't," Kurt starts, gesturing vaguely to the stroller. "Blaine and I aren't in um...a great place right now. Lisa dumped Lola on him and he wasn't even aware of her existence. It's been quite a steep learning curve for him. I just help him out by sitting her once a week, that's all."

"Am I right though?"

"That I love him? Yes. And I am sorry for that Ian, it's caused me and others around me more pain than you can ever know. I did love you, on some level. I just wasn't in love with you. I'm sorry I couldn't give more of me to you. It's just....he's had it all along. But he doesn't want it."

"Really?"

"Yes. We've tried and it doesn't....it's not what we need. I need to move on."

"I hope you find happiness Kurt, I really do."

"Thank you....wait a second. You said you shouldn't have come back....Did you...were you only here for me? Why the hell didn't you call?"

"Because I know you come in here at ten every day, and I figured a public setting might be better. I didn't know how angry you would be."

"I was. Really, I was. But then it just gave way to....resignation I guess. I was sad that it ended as it did but...." He trails off, not revealing that the reason the ache was eased so much was from taking Blaine on their honeymoon. Some things are better left unsaid. "So the uh...the apartment. We need to work out what to do. I can't afford to keep it on my own, so unless you want to buy my half we need to sell."

"Or keep it awhile and see what happens."

"What?"

"There's nothing between you and Blaine, right?"

"No but...."

"And you said yourself you want to move on."

"Yes, but I didn't mean that..."

"So how about we try again? What are you doing tomorrow night?"  

* * *

Cooper pauses, hand raised to push open the door, the only thing standing between him and a much needed coffee. He sees the unmistakable figure of Kurt, holding Ian’s hand as he leans across the table and talks earnestly. He watches as Kurt smiles at him, ducking his head and glancing back up, playing it coy. He watches as his brother’s chance of happiness slips away. When Kurt raises Ian’s hand and kisses it gently, Cooper runs.

“Get out!” Cooper screams as he flies into the office. “Blaine! Get out! NOW!”

“What? What the hell are you....?” Blaine says, startled as everyone turns to look at him.

“Kurt!” is all Cooper can manage as he leans heavily on his knees and tries to draw breath.

“Is he okay? Has something happened?” In one swift movement, Blaine flies from his chair and grips Cooper’s shoulders roughly, his eyes frantic as he searches Cooper’s face for any clue.

“He’s....he’s in the coffee shop on the corner of west twenty-seventh. With Lola....and Ian.”

“WHAT?” Blaine yells, directly in his brother’s face.

“He’s there...you have to go. Go and get him.”

Blaine pauses. The rest of the office staff look on nervously- never having heard their normally quiet and placid boss yelling before. It’s routine for Cooper, but never Blaine. “No,” he says quietly after a deep breath. “No. If this is what Kurt wants then...”

“It isn’t!” Cooper shouts exasperatedly. “I told you Blaine, I told you if you didn't fight for him that you would lose him. Now get your fucking ass out of this office and go get him!”

“But...”

“NOW!”

This time it is Blaine’s turn to run. Considerably more fit than Cooper, he arrives in a matter of minutes and bursts through the door.

“Blaine!” Kurt cries loudly. “What the fuck?”

“I could ask you the same question. Jesus Christ Kurt, how dare you bring my daughter to meet him,” he says with a vague wave of his arm towards Ian, who looks bewildered.

“I didn’t. I just bumped into him, that’s all.”

“How very convenient,” Blaine spits, and for the first time ever, in all the years he’s known him, Kurt sees real venom in his eyes as he speaks. “Well whatever. My daughter needs proper care and attention. I don’t leave her with you to neglect her while you pursue your love life.”

“She’s asleep you jerk, and don’t you ever dare imply that I neglect her. We came in here to grab coffee and I saw Ian.”

“If I may say something...” Ian starts, then recoils when Blaine focuses on him.

“No you may not. I have many things I would like to say to you, like why the fuck did you think it was okay to run out on Kurt like that? And who the fuck do you think you are, sitting here spending time with MY daughter and trying to win back MY Kurt?”

“Your Kurt?”

“Yes. Mine.” Blaine says, hands balling into fists at his side, preparing for a battle if necessary.

“Well I’m pretty sure he’s just been sat here telling me that he tried to give himself to you and you didn’t want him.”

“He’s lying. He’s mine.”

“I’m not anybody’s!” Kurt says angrily. “For fucks sake. Both of you just listen to yourselves. Ian, you said yourself that if I was with you, you know I’d be settling for second best. I’m bewildered and flattered that you could even think of trying again, but you know, deep down that it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. You will find someone who is right for you, who loves you for who you are, and not someone who just puts a face on because they can’t be with the one person they truly love.” Kurt smiles softly at him and squeezes his hand before turning to Blaine. “Which brings me to you.”

Standing, he moves the stroller to one side and steps closer, looking down on Blaine haughtily and emphasising their height difference.  

“You could have had me. But you lost me. I wanted to give everything to you. I seem to remember someone standing on the banks of the Seine and telling me that if you believe in something enough then it will work in spite of everything. Well clearly, you didn’t have much faith Blaine, because you jumped ship at the first available opportunity.”

“I did not!”

“Yes you DID!” Kurt yells, the entire coffee line falling silent to focus on them. “You cut me out the second Lola arrived, then let me back in- but only as a friend Blaine, always and forever just as a fucking FRIEND! Do you know how sick I am of hearing those words? We fucked over the back of my couch and then you remind me we’re just friends. We sleep together, night after night and then you remind me, yet again, that we are just friends. We go out for dinner with the girls, you willingly tell them we hooked up, you tell me how beautiful I am, you kiss me, you let me fall in love with you and Lola over and over again, but all the time we are just FUCKING FRIENDS!”

Blaine reels backward as if slapped, each word cutting like a knife. He opens his mouth to reply, but is suddenly ambushed towards the door.

“Okay guys, okay. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave,” the manager says as he ushers them out.

“And I’m...just gonna go.” Ian says awkwardly once they’re on the sidewalk. “I’ll be in touch Kurt...about the apartment. And for what it’s worth...I hope you two work this out.” His comment is sweet and caring, but both ignore it as they stand seething at each other over the top of the stroller. Mercifully, Lola is still oblivious.

“I don’t want to be your friend, Kurt. Well, I do, but I wish it could be so much more. I’m in love with you, you silly damn fool. Jesus Kurt, I love you so much it hurts, every day it's killing me that little bit more. I want to be with you so desperately.”

“Then why are you doing this to us?” Kurt cries, the desperation in his voice evident.

“Because....because it isn’t fair to you. To trap you like that.”

“Trap me? What are you talking about?”

“I come with baggage, Kurt. And I don’t mean to do Lola a disservice by calling her that, but it’s true. I can’t be spontaneous and fun, can’t have impromptu sex or decide on the spur of the moment to take you on a date. I’m a burden. I always have been, and that’s all I ever will be.” He takes Lola and walks quickly, paying no attention to where he is going until he finds himself in Madison Gardens where he sits heavily on the nearest bench and stares at the ground, trying to blink back tears. The unmistakable sight of Kurt’s beloved Marc Jacobs shoes appear in his line of vision and he looks up.

“Listen to me Blaine. I have told you, Cooper has told you, my dad has told you, you are not a burden. We don’t keep you in our lives because we feel we have to. We keep you around because we want to. Because you are kind, caring, compassionate and now a wonderful father to boot. As for me,” softening his voice he crouches in front of him and takes his hands in his, “I keep you around because I am so in love with you I can never think of being without you. I keep sleeping with you because I am desperate to feel any type of closeness I can with you. You are not, and never will be a burden to anyone. And neither is Lola. I love that girl more than life itself. Do you know, can you ever realize how much I want to be in your lives?”

“But you said the other night...”

“I know what I said. Because I don’t know what you want. So I try to keep you at arms length to stop myself from getting hurt. I need to know Blaine. I need you to tell me.”

“I want you,” Blaine says, voice breaking as the tears start to fall. “I want you and Lola and I want us to be a family. A proper family. And I want you to be my Kurt forever.”

“I already am,” he whispers as their lips meet.

 


	20. Chapter 20

Kurt falls forward onto his knees as they kiss, winding his arms around Blaine's neck and tugging him onto the ground until they're both kneeling together kissing heatedly, oblivious to the curious looks from passers by, only distracted when a sweet "Kurrr," comes from the stroller.

Pulling back slightly, Kurt laughs softly and rests his forehead against Blaine's, unwilling to open his eyes, wanting to treasure this moment forever. "She asked for you...." Blaine teases, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Only because she doesn't know you're here," Kurt replies with a delirious grin. He stands, tugging Blaine with him and they both peer down into the stroller, laughing when Lola screams with delight, holding her arms up to both of them. Lifting her onto his hip, Kurt drops a kiss into her hair then puts his other arm around Blaine. "You like it when we're together, huh?" he asks her, taking the way she excitedly nuzzles her little face between him and Blaine as confirmation. "Well that's good."

"Hmm, very good, but I'm gonna have to get back to work. We've got a big client coming in later expecting his drawings finished, and I need to locate a pencil."

"What?" Kurt laughs, "What kind of architect can't find a pencil?"

"Cooper threw them all at me."

"Okay, we can walk you back. Sleepover tonight?" he asks, with a soft kiss to Blaine's temple, enjoying the way he shivers with pleasure.

"Hmmm, yes please."

"Finally!" Cooper yells out the first floor window as he spies Blaine and Kurt kissing in the street. "You guys better have your shit together now- sorry Lola! Seriously Blaine, don't you dare set foot in this office if you haven't bagged that guy for life!"

Blaine hides his face in Kurt's neck, embarrassed by all the attention as pedestrians dodge them on the sidewalk and Lola babbles nonsense up to Cooper. "I am so sorry Kurt," Blaine whispers, "I will kill him when I get inside."

"Don't worry about it," Kurt laughs softly, "I know exactly what he's like. And tell him that yes you have." Dropping a chaste kiss to his lips once more, Kurt offers a small smile before he walks away, Lola waving frantically.

* * *

"Well little brother, I think we can congratulate each other on a job well done. Mr. Ferguson seemed happy with our proposals. I'd suggest a marathon drinking session to celebrate, but you've got sex to have."

"I don't...I mean..." Blaine mutters, rubbing the back of his neck as he blushes. "Lola...she...well I mean we have to wait for her to go to bed."

"Ah, the lamentations of parents everywhere my friend, which is exactly why I don't have kids. Hey, why don't I take her for you tomorrow?"

"You don't need to do that,"

"I know. Jeez, you are so bad at taking help. Sometimes Blaine, people offer things because they want to, not because they feel compelled. I'm just saying, if you wanted me to watch her tomorrow I could. I don't need to be here, and then you and Kurt could spend the day together."

"I think I'd like that."

"Good. I'll pick her up at nine. Have a good night," he says as he pulls him in for a hug. "And just so you know, I was insanely proud of you today. Just don't fuck it up again."

"I won't. I really won't."

Blaine arrives at Kurt's building in record time, greeting George cheerfully.

"Ah, Mr. Anderson, Mr. Hummel asked me to give you this," he says handing him a key with a smile.

"Oh. I guess they've gone out somewhere. Thanks George." He bypasses the elevator and runs up the stairs two at a time, hoping he has time for a shower before they get back. Opening the door, he is surprised to find Lola's tiny shoes lined up neatly in the hallway. He looks into the living room, furrowing his brow as he takes in Kurt holding a squirming Lola on his lap.

"You're home," he says confusedly.

"Yes."

"But George gave me a key."

"Think on it Blaine," Kurt says with one eyebrow raised.

".....Oh!" Blaine's eyes go wide as it all falls into place. "You've given me a key to your apartment! Kurt!"

"I have."

"I'm sorry, I didn't get it. My head is swimming with everything that's gone on today."

"Don't worry about it," Kurt says lightly. "Did you get the contract?"

"We did. So when you see Manhattan's latest twenty million dollar office block being constructed you'll be able to say 'my boyfriend designed that.'"

"That's excellent. Okay, so you need to go out and come back in again now, to appreciate the magic of the key."

"And then I get a kiss?" Blaine asks eagerly.

"And then you get a kiss."

Shutting himself out again, Blaine takes a second to grin to himself before putting the key in the lock once more. Flinging the door open, he calls loudly. "I'm home!"

"Daddy!" comes the little voice in return, Kurt looking proudly on as Lola runs to him. Blaine's face cracks into the widest smile Kurt has ever seen as he scoops Lola up, holding her close and breathing her darling scent, his eyes filling with tears.

"What did you say?"

"Daddy, daddy, daddy. Daddy, Kurr, Lola. My daddy."

"And my Kurt," Blaine says, holding his other arm out to him.

"And my family," Kurt finishes, "you have no idea how long we've practised that," he says, laughing as Lola starts clapping excitedly. "I knew you'd say my Kurt."

"Well you are,” Blaine says matter of factly.  “I can't believe you taught her to say daddy."

"Pah, she knew. She was just playing hard to get. Now, I think I owe you a kiss."

Blaine sets Lola down before winding his arms around Kurt’s waist, dragging him as close as possible. Framing his face in his hands, Kurt claims his mouth in a kiss which quickly deepens. His hands move to tangle in Blaine's curls as their tongues entwine and Blaine moves his hands under Kurt's sweater to run over his perfectly smooth skin. "I love you," Blaine says in a half whisper, half moan as his lips move along Kurt's neck. "I love you so much. You make me want to do unmentionable things to you, things which are gonna have to wait until later."

"Mmmm, I'll look forward to it."

"You'd better. And cancel work tomorrow. Cooper's taking Lola and we've got the whole day to ourselves."

"Really? Where are we going?"

"Nowhere," Blaine says as he tugs an earlobe between his teeth.

"I like that idea," Kurt says happily, throwing his head back before he pulls away reluctantly. "Okay, down boy. Go shower then you can talk to me while I cook dinner."

"So....what's the deal with Ian then?" Blaine asks walking into the kitchen and laughing as he tries to steal a slice of carrot from the chopping board and Kurt smacks his hand away.

"Actually....he was great. I didn't plan on meeting him, I was telling the truth earlier."

"I know. But why was he there? He works on Wall Street."

"He knows I go in there every day and he wanted to see me."

"To win you back?"

Kurt pauses, thinking carefully before giving his answer. "On the surface, yes. But actually, he knows in his heart that it's not right. I think he's just scared to be alone. He asked me to go on a date tomorrow, and I found myself letting him down as gently as I could. He was sad, but I think he understood where I was coming from."

"So....even if I hadn't come back, you wouldn't have gone out with him?"

"No."

Blaine is quiet, watching Kurt as he moves around the kitchen preparing their meal. He wants to ask more, but doesn't want to push Kurt too far. When his back is turned as he busies himself at the stove, Blaine asks as casually as he can, "So....did he say why he left?"

"Blaine," Kurt turns, wiping his hands on a cloth before walking to the island where he sits. "If you want to know stuff, just ask. I don't mind. If I really don't want to answer I'll say so, but honestly, I don't mind talking about it. I felt a real sense of closure after we spoke, though the way he left was kind of abrupt. I'll have to call him and apologize."

"What? Why do you need to apologize? After what he did...."

"Just hear me out a second. And by the way, you are so hot when you're jealous," he says, leaning over the counter and giving him a quick peck on the lips. "I might become a lap dancer just for your reaction," he adds with a wink.

"You'd better not," comes the gruff reply, and Kurt laughs loudly.

"Anyway. You want to know why he left.... He left because of you."

"What?!"

"You are terrible at this hearing me out thing. He said he had always known that I loved you, but he figured it held no threat because you were straight. Then two weeks before the wedding he noticed that the feeling was mutual, and he could see that I would spend my whole life wishing I could be with you. And I think he really knew no other way out. It was actually kind of sad. And any anger I did have left just disappeared and I ended up feeling incredibly sorry for him. He was a good guy and I really didn't treat him how he deserved."

"You know, a few months back and you would have been a total bitch about the whole situation."

"I know. But I've had to be understanding about a lot of things recently."

"True," Blaine says. "I'm trying to be understanding about this."

"I know you are honey," he says, reaching across and squeezing Blaine's hand before returning to the stove. "And that's okay. If the tables were turned and you were sitting here telling me you understood why Lisa did what she did I'd have a hard time too."

"Huh. Well, that I'll never understand," Blaine huffs as he opens the bottle of wine Kurt sets in front of him. "Look at her Kurt," he says quietly, peering into the living room where Lola is busy holding a tea party with an assortment of stuffed animals. "I mean....when Lisa turned up with her, I didn't want to know. But after like, a day in her company, I didn't want to let her go. Two weeks later and I was hopelessly in love. It may not have been instant, but it came. Lisa had eighteen months with her, and she was still able to dump her and go? No. I don't think I'll ever get it."

"Will you ever try and contact her?"

"No," comes the immediate and decisive reply. "I've thought about this a lot. But ultimately, she made her bed and she has to lie in it. She gave her away like she was... I dunno, a pair of shoes she had worn once and decided she didn't like. She gave up all rights to her own daughter. There's no way in hell I'd give her the satisfaction of letting her know about Lola's welfare."

"Wow. Okay," Kurt says, surprised by the vehemence behind his words. "So, what will you tell Lola when she grows up?"

"The truth I guess," Blaine sighs, handing a wine glass to Kurt and chinking them together lightly. "I don't see any point in hiding it. I won't be brutal, and I won't paint Lisa in a bad light, that wouldn't be fair. But I will tell her that I don't understand why she acted as she did."

"And if Lola wanted to find her?"

"I'd support her I guess. But I'm hoping she will feel so secure, so loved by us and her wider family that she won't feel the need."

"Blaine..." Kurt starts, then busies himself for a while, unsure of how to continue. "Don't bite at me for saying this, but has it ever occurred to you that maybe Lisa was suffering from some sort of postpartum depression, delayed or otherwise?"

"I can't bite at you, I don't even know what that is."

"For someone who played at being straight, you are incredibly clueless about women."

"Just how I like it," he says, pulling Kurt into his arms on his way past and attacking his neck.

"Stop distracting from this," Kurt says mildly, pushing out of his grasp before continuing on his way to the refrigerator. "You always try and ignore things if it doesn't suit you to discuss it, but I'm serious about this. I hated her as much as the next person, but I can't stop thinking about what would drive her to do that. Postpartum depression is something that some, not all, new mothers get. You might know it as the baby blues, but it runs much deeper than that. Without help it can linger, and manifest itself in the mom, making her unable to bond with her baby. It only gets worse without the right kind of help, and in some cases it can be delayed. Everyone assumes mom is doing great but in reality she's barely keeping her head up and doesn't know how to deal with these emotions. Everyone expects new moms to be completely head over heels for their baby, so consequently it's become a bit of a taboo subject. I just wondered if maybe Lisa dumped her with you because she literally felt she had no other option. Certainly from what you told me when she arrived, she was still harboring a lot of anger and aggression towards you. It doesn't strike me that you'd necessarily be her first choice for childcare."

"She was angry. But you know, actually now you've said it, there was a moment. She stopped on her way out, and kissed my cheek. I didn't think anything of it at the time. But looking back, it was a really tender moment in an otherwise tense stand off. But....I don't know. I think there are two types of people in this world, those that give a shit, and those that don't. Ian falls into the first category, my parents and Lisa into the second."

"Have you told your parents?"

"No. I thought about it. But after your dad visited that day I figured the only people who needed to know about her were the ones I considered to be my family. And that’s your family. I’m not going to hide. When they surface again I fully intend to tell them, but I thought it was kind of pointless to go searching for trouble, to inflict unnecessary stress and tension on our lives.”

“I like your thinking Mr. Anderson. Very wise. And just so you know, I think you are a fantastic father. Lola’s very lucky.” Kurt says, stepping between his legs to kiss him deeply.

“I don’t know about that.”

“Come on, you must have surprised yourself?”

“The depth of emotions has surprised me I’ll admit. I always looked at kids as just smaller versions of adults. But they’re so much more. And to have one of your own....” he trails off, watching as Kurt bites his lip. “You know...when I say that I don’t just mean biologically.”

“I know. And I hope you know how much I love her.”

“Oh I do Kurt, I really do.” Pulling him closer, they kiss once more, breaking away breathless and exhilarated. “And that makes me love you even more.”

*

"Goodnight cutie," Blaine whispers as he pulls the door closed. Kurt barely gives him a chance to turn before he's pushed roughly against the wall.

"I need you. Now," he says darkly, and even as he's speaking his hands are making light work of Blaine's pants, pushing them to the floor before he grabs his ass roughly, pulling him close.

"Oh fuck....Kurt...." Blaine throws himself into the moment, fisting Kurt's shirt in his hands and attacking his lips as he backs them both down the hallway and into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him. Hands fumble and grab, tearing at zippers, buttons and material before they tumble naked onto the bed together, Blaine hovering over the top of Kurt, who looks positively wild, lips swollen and bruised, chest heaving and eyes dark with lust. Leaning down, Blaine rubs the tip of his nose in a sweet Eskimo kiss. "Just friends?"

Laughing wildly, Kurt pulls Blaine down and flips them both, pinning Blaine's arms above his head and scraping his teeth along his neck. "You fucking tease. So much more Blaine. So, so much more. I'm clinging to you for life."

"Good," Blaine remarks, hips bucking as Kurt grinds his cock against his own. "I wouldn't have it any other....Jesus fucking hell......way," he gasps, fingers tangling in Kurt's soft hair as he wraps his lips around the head of Blaine's cock, teasing, licking and sucking, revelling in the way in which Blaine cries out wantonly.

Kurt trails hot kisses along Blaine's length before sucking lightly on his balls. Suddenly, he pulls off and moves up to Blaine's face. "When you had your paternity test, did they test for everything, or just a DNA match?"

"I haven't got anything, if that's what you mean. They tested for everything."

"Because neither have I."

"Well.....good," Blaine says in confusion.

"So...no condoms?"

"Oh!" Blaine says, grinning as the meaning becomes clear. "You wanna fill my ass with your come?"

"Well I was going to say it would bring us closer together," Kurt laughs, "But yeah. That's pretty much it."

"Shit....that is so hot," Blaine moans, burying his head into Kurt's neck as his hand finds his cock and begins pumping. "Drive it into me baby. Give me what I need."

"Yes..." Kurt fumbles for the lube but Blaine stops him.

"With your tongue."

Wordlessly, Kurt nods, turning Blaine onto his hands and knees and placing a gentle kiss to the base of his spine before he runs his tongue along the length of his crack, and Blaine can only release a guttural moan as Kurt's tongue circles his rim. Lapping gently, Kurt grips Blaine's waist tightly as he slowly opens him with his mouth.

"Oh fuck....fuck....yes. Do it baby, eat me. Push your tongue into me Kurt....fuck...Yes!" Blaine babbles, gripping the headboard as he pushes himself back, forcing Kurt's tongue deeper and deeper. He alternates between lapping softly and pushing greedily, needing to taste more, feel more, hear more from Blaine, always.

Hearing him come undone forces Kurt's hand straight to his cock, Blaine's gravelly wrecked voice sending shudders through every bone in his body as he strokes himself rapidly. "Kurt....I need you....I need you to fuck me," Blaine begs brokenly as his head falls forward onto the pillows.

"Yes..." Kurt whines. He pulls back and Blaine turns to look at him, sure he's never seen a sight more glorious in his entire life. "Get the lube."

"No, no lube. Just you," Blaine crawls across the bed, pulling Kurt's bottom lip between his teeth as he slowly runs his hand over his long hard cock.

"It will burn."

"I know. But I need this right now," Blaine says, staring deep into blue eyes which are already shot to black.

"Suck me then."

Dipping his head eagerly, Blaine takes Kurt into his mouth, running his tongue up the underside of his dick and even as he starts to suck lightly on the head, he moves Kurt’s hands into his hair, urging him to control the pace. He hums around him as his head is pushed forcibly lower, enjoying the way Kurt cries out when he hits the back of Blaine's throat.

"Fuck...you were made for me Blaine, made to take my cock."

Blaine sucks eagerly, breathing sharply through his nose as Kurt moves him faster and faster before pulling him off completely. "Can't...I won't..." he pants. Understanding, Blaine returns to all fours and looks over his shoulder as Kurt settles between his legs, taking a deep breath before pushing swiftly inside, past the ring of muscle which burns as it is stretched wider, making Blaine bite hard on his lip as he tries not to yell. Once his balls meet Blaine's perfect ass, Kurt stills. "You okay?" he asks, spreading himself over his back to place reassuring kisses to his shoulders.

"Yeah..." Blaine breathes, "Shit Kurt....in all the times we've done this...."

"I know, I know," he soothes, beginning to move slowly as he speaks.

"This is it, isn't it? There's never gonna be another. For either of us."

Kurt grins and bites on his lip, gripping Blaine's hips that little bit tighter as he starts to drive deeper and harder. "Nope. Never."

"Take me then Kurt, make me yours," Blaine says, his voice barely above a whisper, trying desperately to push himself closer and closer as Kurt pushes relentlessly, slamming into his prostate and making him scream. "Fuuuuck! Holy shit, yes!"

Kurt falls forward with the pace of his thrusts, his sweat soaked chest sliding against Blaine's back, one hand finding his cock and stroking roughly. "Blaine....come with me. I need you to..."

"Yes, yes," Blaine moans into the bed before he throws his head up and runs one hand messily through his soaking hair. "It's gonna be..."

"Fuck, yes Blaine...shit!"

"Kurt!" Blaine yells, and the come together, riding out their high as Kurt's cock pulses repeatedly and fills Blaine's ass.

Unable to hold himself up any longer, Blaine falls forward, uncaring for the mess as he groans against the pillow. "Fuck Kurt...."

"Quite the screamer, aren't we?" Kurt says with a smile as he slides down next to him.

"Only because you are too damn talented," Blaine quips. "I got a bit overwhelmed there. Sorry."

"Don't be." Kurt inches forward, draping one hand over Blaine's waist as he kisses his lips gently. "I love you."

"I love you too. There's so much I want to say to you, to ask you," Blaine says, eyes shining in the afterglow.

"There's time," Kurt says with a soft smile.

 **  
**"I know. That's what excites me the most."


	21. Chapter 21

Kurt wakes to the sound of muffled giggling, cracking his eyes open to see Lola's small fingers tracing over Blaine's features, her laughter coming as he makes goofy faces at her.

"When did she arrive?" Kurt murmurs as he stares blearily into a tangle of dark curls.

"About five," Blaine says, voice scratchy from sleep.

"I can't hold you properly," he grumbles, but it's full of fondness as he slings an arm across them both and Lola rolls onto her back and tries to reach her arms around both their necks.

"Nevermind, she's worth it," Blaine smiles, "And at least our legs are becoming intimately acquainted," he says as his foot follows a path up Kurt's calf.

"Hey Lola," Kurt coos, nuzzling into her soft neck as her hands return to Blaine's stubble. "Do you wanna know what daddy really likes? Let me show you..."

Blaine's eyes go wide, then suddenly he yelps as Kurt reaches down to pluck a chest hair before laughing wildly. Seeing his delight, Lola grabs a fistful and pulls, laughing with Kurt and pleased with her performance.

"Ow!" Blaine half shouts, half laughs, pushing himself onto one elbow. "Right. You know what's gonna happen now Lola, don't you? Tickle Monster is coming....for both of you!" he cries, elaborately falling across them and tickling them both, Lola giggling helplessly and Kurt not much better as he feebly tries to bat Blaine's hands away, eventually opting to pull him in for a kiss instead, nipping quickly at his lower lip before pulling Lola close to whisper in her ear.

"Don't worry about the tickle monster Lola, we all know who's really in control here."

The happy atmosphere continues all through breakfast, which Kurt decides should be eaten on a picnic blanket under the dining room table, where they are joined by an assortment of soft toys. By the time Cooper bangs on the door at nine, Lola is so excitable that she launches herself straight into his open arms where she squirms, eager to get going.

".....and then, when she gets tired she likes to be rocked gently. Maybe sing her a little song. Not one of your ditties, a proper lullaby. She doesn't eat peas, she likes bananas but don't leave her alone with the fruit bowl because she'll...." Blaine rambles nervously, checking the contents of the diaper bag for the hundredth time.

"Yes, yes Blaine. I've watched her before, remember?"

"I know, but I just..."

"You worry. I know, we all know. But we'll be fine, won't we princess?" Cooper asks as he bounces her on his hip. "I'm taking you to visit Uncle Finn and Zach, does that sound good?"

At the mention of Zach's name, Lola claps her hands excitedly and starts to wave her goodbyes, anxious to be on her way. "No Rachel?" Kurt asks.

"No, she's got an audition. We're going to meet her for lunch."

"She has an audition?"

"Yes. Didn't she tell you?"

"No.....no she didn't," Kurt says, the hurt evident in his voice.

"Oh Kurt, she knows you've been a bit preoccupied. And she only got the call yesterday anyway," Cooper says, reassuring him as best he can.

"Still...I feel like maybe I should call her," Kurt says. "Have a great day Lola, I'll see you later," he says, giving her a kiss as he walks past.

"My Kurrr," Lola calls happily after his retreating back.

"No. MY Kurrr," Blaine says, and Cooper throws his head back and laughs.

"Think you've got a battle on your hands there bro. Anyway, have fun. Do everything I wouldn't do. See you at six."

They depart and Blaine walks into the kitchen to find Kurt sitting on the island, talking on the phone. He makes to leave but Kurt beckons to him, opening his legs so Blaine can slot between them and smooth his palms over Kurt's thighs as he speaks.

"I know, but I love you. And I'm just sad that's all."

"Don't be," Rachel says on the other end of the line, balancing the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she fastens Zach's romper. "Our lives are very different to when we were teenagers Kurt. We had all the time in the world to gossip on the phone, or poke each other over Facebook. Marriage, babies, relationships, they're all wonderful things but they sure get in the way sometimes."

"But you're not mad?"

"Of course not. The only reason I didn't call was because Cooper had already text telling us he saw a very PDA from you and Blaine yesterday, so I figured you'd be busy, and I didn't want to distract from you two talking things through."

"Are you okay with this?"

"I am. We've both been a bit snappy at each other recently Kurt. You've been stressed with all of this and I've been scared I'm going to end up losing either one of you over it. But I get it. I know how much you love him, and Lola."

"They're my everything," Kurt says, unable to resist smiling against Blaine's lips as he kisses him quietly.

"You are totally getting it on while I'm on the phone to you!" Rachel shrieks, "You two never stop!"

"It was just a kiss."

"Uh-huh. Whatever," Rachel huffs, but Kurt knows her well enough to see through it and know she's secretly thrilled for him. He smiles, happy things are back to normal between them.

"Okay, I'm gonna go. Break a leg. And call me as soon as you're done."

"Not a hope in hell, because I may be done but there's no way you two will be. I'll call you tonight, when I know Lola is home."

"Okay," Kurt laughs, "love you."

"Love you too, all three of you."

"Happy?" Blaine asks as Kurt hangs up.

"Yeah....can I....do you mind me saying I love it when people talk about us like we're a family?" he asks, nervously biting his lip.

Tugging him to the edge of the counter, Blaine wraps his arms around his waist and looks up to him. "We are a family, Kurt. I'm glad I've realized it, and I'm glad others are realizing it too. Revel in it as much as you want, because I'm telling you, I am. I might go back to Bloomingdales and find that assistant...."

"You dare!"

"I will if I like. Who's in control here?"

"Me."

"Try again," Blaine says with a grin.

"Sorry. Me and Lola."

"Yes....I heard you telling her that this morning. I'm gonna prove you soooo wrong," Blaine whispers. Lifting Kurt’s t-shirt over his head, he takes his time to run his tongue around each nipple, teasing them into stiff peaks before blowing across them softly, making Kurt's breathing quicken as his skin rises with goosebumps.  

Kissing a line down his chest, Blaine stops at Kurt's navel, tugging lightly on the waistband, "Are these....sweats?" he teases, dipping his finger below and tracing over his hip bones.

"They're yours," Kurt gasps as Blaine pushes him back so he can suck a dark red hickey onto his side. "I...fuck....I just borrowed them...."

"Hmm, I seem to remember when we were in London, that you told me if I ever saw you in sweats I have your permission to strip you naked," he looks up at him and grins, pulling the drawstring between his teeth, Kurt's whole body lurching with lust at the sight.

"Fucking....."

"Fucking, yes," Blaine interrupts, "There's gonna be a lot of fucking done today. Lift," he commands, and Kurt eagerly complies, lifting his hips for Blaine to tug his sweats and underwear to the floor, leaving him completely naked on the island.

"Here?"

"We can clean," Blaine says, letting his shorts fall to the floor and Kurt groans as he notices he's commando underneath. His dick stands hard and flushed and Blaine strokes himself a few times, watching Kurt run his tongue over his lips as he stares. "Like that do you?"

"Yes," he whispers, voice turning husky with lust, "I love watching you touching yourself, jerking off because of me."

"It's all for you Kurt," he replies. He pushes Kurt backwards until he's lying along the length of the island, drawing his knees up and pulling him closer until his ass rests against the edge of the counter. When he pulls up a stool and sits between his legs, Kurt looks to him.

"What...what are you....?"

"Returning the favor," Blaine says simply.

"But you don't...I mean I've never let anyone....."

"Why not?" he asks with genuine curiosity.

"Because I don't like not being in control."

"Tough shit. Right now I'm in control and you're going to let me do exactly as I please. You are also going to do everything I tell you, and only come when I say you can, clear?"

For a fleeting moment, Blaine wonders if he's pushed too far, and a small internal panic starts to build, but then Kurt's eyes turn blacker than ever, hand moving to grasp his cock as his head falls back onto the counter with a thump. "Holy shit Blaine. This is gonna be hot."

Blaine devours him, literally, leaving angry purple marks littering the inside of his thighs before working his mouth over his balls, taking each one on his mouth and gently sucking, listening to Kurt moan in pleasure and batting his hand away as he tries to stroke himself.

"No touching," he whispers as he places a kiss to his perineum before moving his tongue down to run over his entrance. His tongue slips and slides, opening Kurt up until he can push two fingers in with ease, letting them graze over that bundle of nerves which causes Kurt’s knees to tremble.

Clawing at his hair in a desperate attempt to keep from touching himself, Kurt’s back arches off the counter as the combination of Blaine’s fingers and tongue bring him closer and closer to ecstasy. “Please Blaine! Please!” he cries, unsure of exactly what it is he’s begging for but knowing he needs more.

Blaine pulls back, kissing the tip of Kurt’s leaking cock briefly. “I could do that all day,” he says before licking his palm and running it over himself. Climbing onto the counter, he pushes Kurt further up and settles between his knees, hooking his legs over his own shoulders and grinning down at him. “Don’t touch yourself, okay? Scream as loud as you want but no coming until I say so.”

“Shit...yes.”

“I’m gonna fuck you hard,” Blaine grunts, and he does, slamming into Kurt at relentless pace, building up into a frenzy which has Kurt yelling constantly for him to go harder, faster. “Jesus christ Kurt, I love you so....damn....much,” Blaine puffs, emphasising each word with another driving thrust. He leans down for a messy kiss, which is mainly tongue and Kurt actually screams as Blaine’s cock pushes deeper than ever.

“Please Blaine! Let me come! Please!” Kurt begs as his legs are pushed even nearer to his face as Blaine drives on.

“Not yet...not yet...oh holy fuck!” Blaine cries as he shudders his release into Kurt, who is flushed, trembling and nearing tears of desperation. Wasting no time, Blaine pulls out and jumps down from the counter, bringing his face back to Kurt’s hole, stretched, red and glistening with come. Pushing his tongue in as deep as he can, Blaine gathers his come before moving to kiss Kurt deeply, who moans, making sure to swallow around Blaine’s tongue.

“Mmm, you taste so good Blaine.”

“So do you baby,” Blaine says before moving his face lower once more. He begins to stroke Kurt slowly, building him back to full hardness again “Come when you’re ready,” he whispers, settling onto the stool once more. “Come with my tongue in your ass.”

The feeling, sight and sound of Blaine sucking his own come from Kurt’s ass, running his tongue as deep as possible and circling his walls, has Kurt trembling within seconds. He holds off as long as possible, tangling his fingers into Blaine’s hair rather than around himself as he tries to stave off the inevitable. It rushes upon him, the sudden coiling in his stomach exploding quickly as he comes, cock untouched, all over himself. He walls clench deliciously around Blaine’s tongue, who buries his face as deep as possible and moans as he feels himself growing hard again. When Kurt begins to feel over sensitive, he pushes Blaine’s face away lightly before falling back hard onto the counter, laughing in disbeleif when Blaine straddles him and licks his come from his stomach.

“Come slut,” he manages weakly, pulling his down into a sloppy kiss regardless. “It’s all over your chin.”

“Lick it off then,” Blaine says, grinning wickedly as Kurt does just that.

“Oh my god, you’re ready to go again, aren’t you?” Kurt asks as he notices Blaine lazily stroking himself.

“Maybe. Well...yeah,” comes the smug reply.

“Touch yourself for me then, let me watch you come.”

Straddling his chest, Blaine reaches across for the bottle of oil stood on the counter. “It’s not chili oil, is it?”

“No,” Kurt answers with a laugh. “Regular olive oil, you’re good.”

Blaine pours some into his hand and makes his cock slick, stroking himself lazily, his dick twitching inches from Kurt’s face. “Tell me what you want me to do...”

“Play with yourself. Take your balls in your other hand...yeah...that’s it. Shit...okay.....Keep stroking your cock but play with your nipples. Tease them for me baby...yes.”

Kurt’s commands ensure any inhibitions Blaine did have left quickly disperse as he puts on a show for his boyfriend, groaning as he tweaks hard at one nipple, then the other.

“Blaine...could you...do you think you can finger yourself for me?”

“Yeah? Wanna see that do you? Wanna see me opening my ass for you?”

"Holy shit yes," Kurt moans and he can feel his cock growing again at the very thought as Blaine trails one slick finger around to his hole, gasping as he pushes inside. "Don't stop pumping your cock baby, wanna see you come over my face."

Blaine can only moan as his mind fills with delicious mental images. Throwing his head back, he pumps his finger in and out as his fist works over his cock. Kurt finds himself reaching down already, gathering his now hard again cock in his hand and stroking frantically. The room is silent except for the occasional moan and the slip slide sound of their strokes.

"Oh-oh-oh!" Blaine cries and he comes, splashing over Kurt's lips, chin and cheeks. Kurt comes instantly, silently, unable to voice his pleasure but just about managing to open his mouth to capture some of Blaine's offerings before he falls back onto the counter, breathless.

"Oh....my....."

"I can't....I'm never...you're killing me, Hummel. Killing me," Blaine groans as he tangles himself in his arms.

"Me? Fuck Blaine...you're just....something else. All those years of no sex are manifesting themselves in my ass."

Blaine laughs loudly before running a hand delicately over Kurt's cheek and kissing him lightly. "I love you. We need to go shower. Your face is....."

"Hmm...we do. And then we need to clean this kitchen thoroughly."

"I miss my shower," Blaine grumbles as Kurt massages shampoo into his scalp.

"I thought you didn't like your apartment?"

"I don't. But I have an ongoing love affair with my shower."

"Well we can use it tonight of you'd like," Kurt says as he rinses the black curls clean.

"Will you kneel on the floor and suck me off?"

"We can do that now if you want."

"Now?"

"Think you can go again?"

"I'm willing to try."

It turns out he can, and afterwards he staggers to the bedroom where he falls face first onto the covers, and throwing a heavy arm over Kurt they sleep until noon.

Kurt only fully wakes when his balls meet Blaine's ass. Up until that moment he thought he was in a very elaborate and detailed dream, but when he sees Blaine mounted upon him, biting his lip in pleasure as he slowly begins to ride him, he growls low in his throat, gripping his hips tightly as he rises up to meet each of his thrusts. "Kinky bastard," he mutters, still groggy with sleep but becoming more horny by the second.

"You love it," Blaine states as he rides him harder, smoothing his hands over Kurts toned chest and groaning when Kurt grabs his cock.

"I do....fucking hell....I do."

It's not long before they're coming, though there's barely any evidence as their bodies convulse and shudder, leaving them dry and spent. Kurt wraps Blaine in his arms and kisses his forehead sweetly. "I love you. I'm so glad we had today together. I love Lola to pieces, but we needed this."

"I agree. Just because we're parents doesn't mean we need to lose track of our sex lives. Though it does mean we need time to rest and recuperate. I fear I may never walk again," Blaine says with a soft chuckle into Kurt's neck.

 **  
**Tracing his fingers lightly over Blaine's back, Kurt blinks back tears as he stares at the ceiling. 'We're parents,' he'd said. 'We are parents.' Feeling more complete than he's ever known, Kurt drifts into a contented sleep once more.


	22. Chapter 22

"I'm sorry Kurt, but I just don't have any other option. I've been living with my brother for nearly five months."

"No, no it's fine. I understand. I'm just....sad I guess," Kurt says as he looks across to Ian and offers a trembling smile. It is a cold December afternoon and Kurt shivers as the coffee shop door is opened and a cold gust of air hits him.

"You love the place, I know."

"I just...it's stupid. It's just an apartment but I love everything about it. The way the light streams in, the tall windows, the window seats I put there just so I could sit and daydream.... The kitchen, the bedroom...everything."

"Well you designed it all so you should," Ian says with a smile as he reaches for his coffee again. "Why don't you ask Blaine to buy my half, if it's as serious as it sounds?"

Kurt ducks his head and laughs softly, fiddling with the sugar packets as a light blush glows over his cheeks.

"What's so funny?"

"Us," Kurt replies. "Sitting here like this. It's...really good. I'm glad we can be friends."

"Me too. Truly, I am. You mean too much to me to not have you in my life at all. And I'm happy for you Kurt, I really am. But you didn't answer my question."

"I uh....Blaine and I....aren't really there yet."

"You've always been there, Kurt."

"No, no. I mean...things are great. Amazing actually. But we agreed to go slow. We want this to work long term, and rushing into living together would just be.....no."

"You're together all the time."

"Not on Mondays or Tuesdays," Kurt says, which causes Ian to laugh loudly and shake his head in disbelief.

"Okay, but I'll bet you text each other continually. Talk on the phone? Skype?"

"FaceTime actually," Kurt mumbles but it's a weak attempt to derail the conversation. "Anyway, Blaine owns his apartment, he'd have to sell that and..."

"Kurt. Blaine could probably buy your whole building outright without ever having to worry about selling his place to fund anything. Do you have any idea how much he's worth?"

"I don't...we don't... No," he says with a sigh. "We don't talk about money. We both have enough and that's all I need to know."

"Donald Anderson is one of the most wealthy brokers Wall Street has ever seen, Kurt. He's from old money and all he's done is added considerably to the family fortune over the years."

"That may be so, but Cooper and Blaine haven't taken any money from their parents since after college. Cooper graduated and lived in some really shitty apartments, working two jobs and still getting the architecture business off the ground. Blaine was luckier, because he went straight into business with him but even so, he's worked really hard to get where he is."

"I don't doubt that at all. But I'm telling you, those guys have trust funds that hold serious amounts of cash. They may not choose to spend any of it, but I'm betting that if you asked Blaine, he'd happily dip into it to buy my share."

"No. Not going to happen. And anyway, it was our place. Don't you think it would be a bit strange for him to move in?"

"Look Kurt, just think about it, okay? I get that you're scared. But you've both acknowledged you want to stay together, and it would be nice for Lola to have a place she belongs, rather than flitting between two apartments the whole time."

"Ian...please. I'm sure you're well meaning but I've told you. Blaine and I aren't ready for that level of commitment yet. Just....I'll put the place on the market right after Christmas, okay?"

"You're wasting a golden opportunity, but okay. I have to get going now anyway, I have a date tonight."

"Oh?"

"Yeah....I met a guy.....he's uh...yeah. I like him. A lot. And he seems to feel the same so...."

"Good," Kurt says, standing and kissing his cheek. "Have fun. I'll call you soon, and if I don't see you before, have a nice Christmas."

"So you had a good time?" Blaine asks as he places their dinner on the table.

"Yeah, I did. It was good to see him. I think we'll stay friends, if that's okay?"

"Of course it's okay. Lola, use your spoon please and not your hands. Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, that's all," Kurt replies, looking across the table and trying to read his expression.

"Kurr, Kurr," Lola calls, reaching from her chair to tug impatiently on his sleeve.

"Yes sweetie?"

"Ugh Kurr," she says, wrinkling her nose as she pushes her dinner plate towards him. "No like."

"It's chicken and vegetables, Lola." Blaine says exasperatedly. "What's not to like?"

"Daddy, ugh."

"Tough day?" Kurt asks, watching as Blaine runs his hands through his hair.

"Yes. She's been a nightmare. Wouldn't nap, ripped all my plans for the new cinema over on East thirty second, so now I've got to do them over, pushed another kid down the slide at the playground and then had a tantrum because I wouldn't buy her Reese's cereal."

"Wow. I uh...I don't have to stay tonight, if you've got work to do," Kurt says hesitantly.

"But it's Friday. You always stay on a Friday."

"I know but I.... Lola! No!" Kurt cries, but it's too late as tiny fists hurl vegetables and gravy and all Kurt can do is watch as they dribble down the front of Blaine's beautiful cashmere sweater.

Breathing deeply, Blaine turns to her. "If I hadn't made a promise to myself that I would never raise my voice to you, I swear to god, right now I would be..."

"Lets...just....here," Kurt says, walking around the table and carefully peeling the sweater off. "Now. Lola, that was a bad thing. You made daddy sad. I want you to say sorry," Kurt says sternly.

"Sorry daddy." Lola says, her small lips pursing into a pout as she holds her arms out to him.

"S'okay," Blaine says as he lifts her onto his lap. "I'd say don't do it again but that's like asking the rain not to fall. Let's just finish our dinner. Kurt, you were trying to tell me about today?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Kurt says dismissively, deciding the news about his imminent move can wait. "We can talk later."

"Sure?"

"Of course. So dad called, no real reason other than to tell me how ridiculously excited he is that we're all going to Lima for Christmas."

"We always go to Lima for Christmas," Blaine points out.

"I know, but there's Lola and Zach this year too. I think he's looking forward to having little kids around."

"It's always like having little kids around when Finn and Cooper are involved. But anyway, I'm looking forward to Santa's visit."

"Oh! Let's take Lola to Macy's tomorrow to see him!" Kurt says, his entire face shining at the prospect.

"How can I ever say no to that?" Blaine answers with a smile, leaning over to capture his lips because he wants to, needs to and because he can.

* * *

They decide to drive to Ohio, mainly to accommodate the sheer volume of items that come with Lola. Stroller, highchair, toys, clothes...the list is endless. Finn and Rachel decide the same, and they all set off early on the Saturday before Christmas. Three hours into the journey, and Blaine is beginning to regret offering to take Cooper. Between him and Lola, every second of silence has been filled. Blaine grips his armrest tightly as Cooper launches into yet another Sesame Street impression- Big Bird this time. He can see a muscle twitching repeatedly near Kurt's jaw as he speeds down the highway, using every ounce of self restraint he has to not pull over and force him from the car.

"For the love of God Cooper, can you quit with the impressions?"

"Okay," Cooper replies amiably. "How about a song instead. Lola?"

"Tinkle tinkle!" Lola yells, clapping her hands excitedly.

"No. Anything but that," Blaine moans.

"Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl,"

"NO!" Kurt and Blaine both shout.

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's hardly appropriate, is it?" Kurt forces out between gritted teeth. "If you're gonna sing then sing something.....different."

"What about one I wrote? Oh! Have you heard this one? It's called Blue Balls...."

"Seriously Cooper, I get why you're still single," Blaine moans. "Also, Lola is sat next to you. Please watch your mouth."

"Sorry dude. What about my ode to being a fireman? It's completely innocent, unless you count the innuendo about the size of my hose."

"You're not a fireman!" Kurt yells, finally reaching his limit.

"No, but I had a joke I wanted to use."

"How about, silence. Just for a while. Like, five more hours," Blaine says. "How about letting Lola catch a nap so when we arrive she's not all cranky. How about you catch a nap so you're not all cranky too. Huh?"

"Okay. Sorry," Cooper says remorsefully.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, Blaine sends a text to Finn.

**Dude. Next rest stop you have to take him.**

_Not a hope in hell_ , comes the reply and Blaine sighs and leans his head against the window.

"Does someone else need a nap to stop them becoming cranky?" Kurt asks playfully, squeezing Blaine's leg with a quick glance in his direction.

"No....I'm fine. Just a little worked up about some stuff, and he's not helping."

"Heard that," Cooper calls.

"Don't care."

"What stuff? Wanna talk about it?" Kurt asks.

"No. It's okay."

"Maybe I'll give you a massage later, ease some of that tension," Kurt winks, squeezing his thigh that little bit harder.

"Oooh!" Copper calls, and Lola joins in delightedly and they waste a good ten minutes making strange noises at one another and laughing hysterically.

**I'm serious, he's yours. I'm disowning him.**

_No. Zach has just gone to sleep after screaming for two hours straight and now Rach is singing the entire Funny Girl score._

**Cooper could join in.**

_Fine...I'll ask._

**It's a no.**

In the end it is Blaine who pulls his car into the driveway, a sleeping Kurt in the front and a squashed Finn and two over excitable children in the back. Cooper follows right behind, driving Rachel's Mazda and they step from it, grinning.

"Best journey ever!" Rachel calls happily with a high five to Cooper.

"I have to agree," Finn says, stretching every limb and rolling the cricks from his neck. "Peace and quiet for the last five hours, until they woke up."

"Meanwhile, your wife and I have covered every Journey song known to man, Celine Dion's greatest hits, Meatloaf, and I've convinced her to duet with me on 'No one does it better than a crack whore,' penned by moi."

Finn looks at Blaine, who stares at him aghast. "Please say I can ride home with you," he whines pitifully, and Blaine pats his shoulder and nods.

"Welcome home!" Carole calls, flying out onto the porch. "Come in, come in! Dinner won't be long. Where are my grandbabies?"

Dinner is loud, boisterous and over excitable as everyone tries to talk at once, laughing and sharing stories as food is eaten, wine is drunk and children are bounced on doting knees of grandparents, Aunts and Uncles. Blaine finds himself completely taken with Zach, which is fine because Lola is just as obsessed with Finn. He holds him close, enjoying the way he takes in his surroundings and now, at five months old, tries to grab anything he can reach. Wiping a trail of drool tenderly from his chin, Blaine kisses the top of his head and breathes in the scent of baby powder and all round general cuteness that babies seem to have. It is with some reluctance he hands him back to Rachel for bathing, but he switches his eyes to Kurt instead and his heart soars. He is leaning across Burt, pulling goofy faces at Lola as she sits on Finn's lap, trying to reach his cheeks to grab him and pull him close. Which is exactly what Blaine would like to do, and exactly what he does do as soon as dinner is over, pinning Kurt against the wall in the hallway the second they are alone.

"Mmmm," he moans as he runs his tongue over Kurt's lips before trailing kisses along his jaw and down his neck. "I've been waiting for this all day. We haven't had a second alone, and I've just been staring at you, wanting to taste you, to touch you...." he pushes Kurt's legs apart with his knee, rubbing his erection against Kurt's thigh and smiling against his collarbone as he gasps and grips his hair tightly.

"Soon....we'll get Lola to bed and then make our excuses....oh crap," Kurt says, realizing.

"She's in our room."

"Yep."

"For five whole nights. Jesus Kurt, I'm gonna die."

"That's a bit dramatic. I mean, it sucks...."

"No Kurt. You suck. You suck my cock and I really need that. Plus, this," he says, squeezing the bulge in Kurt's jeans, "needs attention too."

"Ahem."

The two men jump apart under Burt's glare. "Might wanna cool it down a little there boys. This is a family gathering."

"Sorry Burt."

"No worries. Just....keep it PG, yeah?"

"Yeah...we will," Kurt mumbles, willing his hard on to dissipate as quickly as possible.

Burt nods and retreats to the living room, leaving Blaine to rest his forehead against Kurt's. "We'll keep it PG....for five fucking days," he grumbles.

“Come on, Rachel wants to watch Elf.”

“I can work with that.”

Once the children are settled, they all pile into the den. Blaine and Kurt’s hands wander underneath the blanket they’ve draped over themselves, until Burt gives them another pointed look, and Blaine settles into Kurt’s lap instead, content to have his hair played with. He is just on the brink of sleep when his phone alerts him to a text. Confused as to who would be contacting him when pretty much anyone who does is already in the room, he pulls up the message and groans.

**I assume you are both in Lima for the holidays. Lunch tomorrow at one. Dad.**

Cooper is leaning back against the couch and Blaine holds the phone over his shoulder. Reading the message quickly, he hands the phone back and continues to stare at the tv.

“You go if you want, but I’m not.”

“Go where?” Kurt asks, and Blaine silently shows him the screen. “Oh.”

“Cooper?” Blaine asks tentatively.

“What? Don’t try and work on me Blaine, I’m not moving on this.”

“But they want to see us.”

“No they don’t,” Cooper cries, turning to face him.

Pausing the movie in annoyance, Rachel huffs loudly. “What is it now?”

“Nothing,” Cooper says dismissively, “Carry on.”

“No,” Blaine says, moving to the floor and forcing eye contact. “I know, okay? I know what they’re like but the fact is they’re in town and they want to see us on the holidays. We at least owe them that much.”

“We don’t owe them anything! They didn’t bother last Christmas, who knows where the fuck they were then? The last time I saw them was nineteen freakin months ago Blaine. I’ve had one phone call since then, one. And now you get a text telling- not asking or inviting, but telling- us to go for lunch tomorrow. Well they can fuck off. I’m not sitting there getting grilled by someone who calls themselves my dad, about why our business isn’t bigger, telling me over and over that I should have moved into stocks. No. My plans for tomorrow are sleeping until noon, convincing Carole to make me French Toast then whipping Finn’s ass at Monopoly. I’m spending the day with our real family Blaine, not some sycophants who are demanding a lunch just so they can feel like they’ve done their bit.”

A shocked silence follows, no one has ever heard Cooper talk with such vehemence and passion, he usually cracks jokes about his parents absence in their lives but for the first time, his level of hurt becomes known as he draws his knees up and rests his head on them. Blaine reaches out, a tentative hand going to his brothers knee and trying to reassure.

“I just...I kinda wanted them to meet Lola, and I wanted to tell them about Kurt and I.”

“Take them then, you don’t need me.”

“I do though.”

“Blaine, honey. Can I make a suggestion?” Carole asks hesitantly into the thick atmosphere, and he nods. “It might be better if you go on your own, tell them about Kurt and Lola then give them the option of meeting them. If you show up all together it might be a bit much for them to take.”

“I agree,” Kurt says, falling to the floor and taking his hands. “I love you so much, and if you want me to come with you I will, but I don’t think their reaction will be particularly favorable- so I really think Lola should stay here.”

“Or...” Burt says from his armchair in the corner, causing every head to swivel his way, “We invite them here.”

“What?” Cooper’s head snaps up quickly.

“Just hear me out son. We can invite them for dinner tomorrow night. Hiram and Leroy are joining us anyway, and your parents are nothing if not well-bred. They won’t dare to cause a scene or yell. The worst they’re gonna do to Blaine is leave, then call afterward and demand you go to their place to discuss it, but by then the ball is in your court. If you’ve told them all there is to tell then it’s up to you if you explain yourself anymore than that. It also, Cooper, gives you the chance to see your parents, do your dutiful son bit but retreat to your room if things get too much. You’ll both have all of us here to support you and you’re in your own home. Plus, children can be quite the distraction as I’m sure you’re aware. You can guarantee that if things get heavy, Zach will burp, or Lola will throw her food- something will happen to ease the tension. What do you think?”

“I think I’d like that,” Blaine says in a small voice, and Kurt puts his arms around him as he’s struck by how vulnerable he becomes when his parents are involved.

“I agree dad, I think it’s a great idea.”

“Me too,” Carole adds as Rachel and Finn murmur their agreement. “Cooper?”

“No.”

“Well you know what son? Stand up for me a second,” Burt says- walking over to him as Cooper reluctantly drags himself to his feet. “Time for some tough love,” he says, placing his hands on his shoulders and looking him square in the eye. “It makes me and Carole so happy to hear you call us your family, and let me tell you, we are more than willing to take over the role of parents in your life. But while you’re in my house, you abide by my decisions. I’m not gonna back down on this. You’re still hurting, Cooper. I get that, and I really think you need to try and have some- any- relationship with them that you possibly can. Digging your head in the sand ain’t gonna be of any use at all. I will invite them tomorrow, and if they accept, I will expect you to sit at the table and share a meal with them. If it doesn’t work out, at least you can say you’ve tried, and that’s all I expect from anyone in this family, to try your best.”

“I’m thirty five.” Cooper moans.

“Your point?” Burt asks with a chuckle, and pulls him into a big hug. “Now let’s watch the rest of this movie and stop being a cotton headed ninny muggins.”

 


	23. Chapter 23

“Just sit down,” Kurt says softly, as Blaine walks past him for the umpteenth time.

“I can’t. Oh, this might be them,” Blaine says, rushing to the window then sighing heavily as the headlight beams continue down the street. “Where are they?”

“They’ll be here. It’s still early.” Moving to the widow, Kurt wraps his arms around his tense boyfriend and hugs him as best he can. “Try not to get too worked up honey.”

“I just...want it all to go well.”

“I know you do. And I’m sure it will. You’ve got all of us here to support you, and I will be right by your side, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Blaine answers and gladly accepts the kiss on his lips.

“Which one of you handsome young men is on diaper duty?” Hiram Berry says as he steps into the living room holding Lola. “As gorgeous as she is, my shallow and superficial love only extends so far.”

“I’ll do it,” Kurt says quickly, but Blaine interrupts.

“No, it’s okay, I’ll go. It will take my mind off things. C’mere cutie,” he says, and Lola goes to him happily and they head from the room.

“He’s nervous, huh?” Hiram says amiably to Kurt as he settles into the armchair.

“Yeah....can’t say I blame him.”

“Reminds me of when Leroy came out to his parents. We were halfway through college when he decided to tell them. We had already been dating three years.”

“Why did he wait so long?” Kurt asks with genuine curiosity as he settles opposite.

“Things were very different then of course, we’re talking nearly thirty years ago, and it was a much bigger taboo. I got lucky with my mom, like you did with Burt, but if my father had been alive he would have reacted in much the same way as Leroy’s dad did.”

“Which was?”

“He disowned him. Cut him from his will and never spoke to him again.”

“He died?”

“Yes. Rachel was nine. He never met her. After his death we had sporadic contact with his mom, but not a lot. She died a few years after.”

“Shit.”

“I don’t mean to worry you Kurt. But from what I’ve heard, it’s a very real possibility that the same could happen here tonight, and you have to be prepared for that. Prepared to see Blaine crumple with hurt and pain, and try to comfort him as best you can.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know. But it can put a lot of strain on a relationship. Let him cry if he wants, let him yell, scream, beat his fists and complain that nothing is fair. And when he’s done, hold him in your arms and reassure him of your love.”

The doorbell interrupts their conversation, and Kurt hears it being opened and Burt greeting Donald and Susan Anderson.

“Come in, come in. Oh, let me introduce you,” a clearly nervous Burt says as he ushers them into the living room. “Hiram, this is Donald and Susan Anderson, this is Hiram Berry, Rachel’s dad- I think you met at graduation and of course you know my son Kurt.”

Hands are politely shaken, and Hiram starts a light conversation with Susan about the weather as Burt bustles through the house to locate everybody. Donald sits uninvited on the sofa and turns his attention to Kurt. “Did you enjoy your vacation then?” he asks, and as always his tone is polite but cold.

“Yes thank you. We had a lot of fun. Seems like a long time ago now, so much has happened since.”

“Good, good,” he replies dismissively, turning as Carole, Finn and Rachel enter the room and more introductions are made.

“Goodness dear,” Susan says to Rachel, “The last time I saw you, you were wearing a plaid skirt and a reindeer sweater, and now here you are all grown up. What a shame Blaine didn’t like you better, you two would have made a good match.”

“Uh...” Rachel begins, looking desperately between Kurt and Finn for any kind of help. “Blaine likes me well enough. In fact he’s my closest friend along with Kurt so.....yeah.”

“And I married her,” Finn says proudly.

“High school sweethearts, how quaint,” Susan says, and Kurt feels Hiram tense at his side.

“Isn’t that what you were?” Kurt asks waspishly, feeling a glimmer of satisfaction when two pink spots rise on Susan’s cheeks.

“Goodness no,” she quickly recovers. “I went to an all girls school. No, our fathers were in business together, so it seemed only natural we should date.”

“What about you?” Donald calls across to Kurt. “Did you reconcile with your stockbroker?”

“No, no we didn’t, but we’re still friends. I’ve uh...actually found someone else.”

He is saved by answering further by the arrival of Leroy and Zach.

“Oh, you’re still together.” Susan says with surprise.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Leroy laughs. “We may not have been allowed to marry, but that doesn’t make our commitment to each other any less valid. We are people my dear,” he says, slinging an arm around her as if they’ve known each other years and this isn’t only their second time of meeting, “Human beings who are capable of the same love and affection as straight human beings, and who are now enjoying being doting grandparents to this little chap.”

“Congratulations,” Susan says politely to Rachel.

“Thank you.”

“I think I’ll go see what’s taking Cooper and Blaine so long,” Kurt says, but at that very second they appear, Lola being held close to Blaine’s chest and the entire room falls silent.

"Oh, hello boys," Susan says- almost as if she hadn't been expecting their arrival.

"Nice to see you both," Donald says, shaking both their hands briskly as the pair stare at them in silence. If Lola's presence is noted at all, they choose not to mention it, Donald starts a conversation about their business right away before Carole comes bustling in.

"Dinner is ready, if everyone wants to go through to the dining room."

The guests start to move, and that's when Lola moves her head from Blaine's neck and looks at him. "Daddy, no want dinner."

"What did she just call you?" Donald says, his voice suddenly dark as Finn, Rachel and her dads make themselves scarce.

"She uh....she called me daddy. Um....this is Lola, my daughter."

Still not looking at the little girl, Susan speaks. "You didn't mention her when we were in Monaco."

"I didn't know about her when we were in Monaco. Lisa arrived with her right after we got back."

"So I assume you're going to marry her again." Donald states, and Blaine flicks his glance over his dad’s shoulder to where Kurt is standing, trapped behind his imposing figure but urging him with his eyes to stay strong and continue.

"No," Blaine says with a soft, nervous laugh. "She...uh...she left Lola with me. She's remarried and moved away."

"I see, and this child is how old?"

"Lola. She has a name, dad, and she will turn two at the end of January."

"You have to marry someone though Blaine, you can't raise her as a single father, what will people say?" his mom says, with something approaching a kind smile. She genuinely believes that, Kurt thinks to himself. She really thinks that Blaine will just marry anybody to give his child social status. They have attitudes people held fifty years ago, and Kurt imagines they would probably have been very friendly with Leroy's parents.

"I'm not a single parent," Blaine says, his eyes fixed on Kurt the whole time as he takes a trembling breath. Next to him, Cooper squeezes his fingers gently, urging him on. "I'm raising her with Kurt."

"What?" Donald says, his voice so dangerously low that Burt steps between them and Carole swoops in from where she's been hiding in the hallway and carries Lola away.

"He's helping you out, is that what you mean?" Susan asks, "You didn't phrase that very well Blaine, think about the implications of your words before you speak."

"I did. And we are. Raising her together, that is. Lola has two parents, Me, and Kurt."

"You're letting...someone like....." Donald trails off as Burt steps closer.

"But you're not gay, Blaine," his mom says softly. "Right?"

"I am, actually," Blaine says, cursing as tears fill his eyes and his voice trembles. "I always have been, and it's nothing to do with Kurt. It's just how I am. I never thought I'd get the chance to...be with someone. But then Kurt and I admitted the depth of our feelings toward each other and....well....here we are." He adds a small nervous laugh at the end, unsure of what else to say. His heart is racing and his mouth dry as he keeps his eyes focused on Kurt.

Donald Anderson stares, while Susan rests a trembling hand on his arm and waits for his reaction. Eventually, in a calm and unwavering voice, he speaks. “You are not gay, Blaine. You were married, to a woman, and you have produced a child. I have nothing against gay people, but you are not one of them. I will be in New York during January, we will look at prep schools for the child and attempt to contact her mother for you to work towards a reconciliation. Now, I heard someone say dinner was ready?” his tone lifts and he looks to Burt expectantly, who nods tersely and leads the way, figuring it best to allow Blaine time to think about his comeback.

Kurt starts towards him, but Blaine halts him at arms length. “I....um...later. Okay? Later I want to fall into your arms and not move, but right now I am just about holding it all together, and if I touch you I will fall apart. So...please.”

“Okay,” Kurt says softly. “I understand.”

“You do?” Blaine’s face floods with relief before he shuts down again. He can’t let emotion get the better of him right now, he has to be strong.

“I really do," Kurt says kindly. "Can I still sit next to you for dinner?”

“Of course. Cooper? You joining us?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the fucking world,” Cooper mutters angrily as he follows his brother into the room.

They walk into a forced atmosphere of civility, as the Anderson’s try to feign polite conversation with Rachel’s dads. Blaine settles opposite his father and pulls Lola in her highchair up to his side, Kurt taking the chair on his left. He busies himself with Lola and her food, feeling the disapproving glare of his parents throughout. Cooper’s silence is mutinous as he pushes his food around with his fork, gladly going to help Carole with dessert when she asks. By the time they all settle again, Blaine has had enough.

“Are we going to talk about this?” he asks his dad, who looks surprised at the forcefulness behind his words.

“We did.”

“No, we did not. You told me what I would do, but I don’t intend on actually doing any of it.”

“You need to look at schools now, Blaine. You may want to try England, their girls boarding schools are renowned as the best in the world.”

“You have to be kidding me,” Kurt snaps, throwing his napkin down in disgust. “You would really expect Blaine to send Lola to boarding school in England?”

“Not yet, obviously,” Susan replies calmly. “They wouldn’t take her until she turned seven. But in the meantime he can hire a nanny, and....”

“I fail to see what it has to do with you anyway,” Donald interrupts tersely.

“It has everything to do with me because I am her parent!” Kurt shouts, buoyed by the confidence that Blaine wants him to be.

“Really? And exactly what legal rights do you have over her?” Donald asks as he settles back in his chair.

“None. None at all. But Lola and Blaine are my family, and as such I reserve the right to have a say in her upbringing, and I am telling you that she will not be going to boarding school.”

“No, she won’t.” Blaine adds, and he grips Kurt’s hand tightly and smiles at him. “And neither will I be reconciling with my ex-wife. I appreciate you trying to help....well....actually, I don’t. I don’t need any help. We’re fine as we are. It may not be what you want to hear, but I am in love with Kurt, and he loves me back. I don't want anyone else, ever. And as for Lola...she is just....the best mistake I ever made," he finishes, smoothing her hair tenderly as she looks on, oblivious.

“I hope you realize that we can give the child a lot more than these people can,” Donald snaps, his anger at not being in control of the situation beginning to grow.

“Bullshit you can!” Cooper explodes as he stands, looking down at the man who fathered him- hands balled into fists, and the only thing stopping him from throwing a punch is his love and respect for Burt and Carole. “You haven’t even looked at her, or said her name! She is your first grandchild- maybe your only one- and the only way you have acknowledged her existence is by throwing cash at the problem, same as always. It’s what you did with us, paid other people off to keep us out of sight and out of mind. I think you’ll find that everyone around this table would fight you to the death before they’d allow that to happen to Lola. Look at her! She is the best thing to ever happen to me, to Blaine, to Kurt. Don’t you get it? You don’t control us anymore. We are adults, who have given up all hope of you ever being real parents to us and have gone and found our own family. Blaine has fallen in love and become a dad. It may not be what you wanted, but it’s sure as hell what he wanted and needed. You have the chance to be a part of this, to know your granddaughter and spend time with her, he’s sat here trying so hard to please you, and all you can do is come up with a list of cold and unrealistic demands, which Blaine isn’t going to meet.”

“Cooper, why must you always be so rebellious?” Susan asks wearily. “You are a guest in another person’s house. Kindly take your seat and lower your voice. You have been raised better than that.”

“Fuck this shit. I’m leaving.”

“No you’re not.” Burt says, standing. “They are. You listen to me. I have tried with you, I really have. But I’ve had it up to here,” Burt says as he stares the Anderson’s down. “Yes, Cooper has been raised well. Both your boys have impeccable manners, and Cooper is well aware what is expected of him. But he has spent every college holiday, every christmas, every birthday with us for seventeen years. I’d like to think I’ve taught him a few things too, the main one being you have to stand up and fight for what you believe in. Don’t ever call him a guest in this house, he belongs here. You are the guests, which is why I am going to have to ask you to leave. I’m afraid my wife and I won’t tolerate you being rude to our boys.”

“Fine,” Donald says, helping his wife to her feet. “Blaine, I want you to know that if you persist with this nonsense- pretending to be gay and insisting on raising the girl yourself, then your mother and I will no longer wish to have any contact with you.”

“Like you do anyway!” Blaine laughs. “Seriously, I bumped into you in France five months ago, I hadn’t seen you for over a year and you acted like I was a vague acquaintance rather than your son. I have been over and over it since then, and I have spent all my goddamn life trying to please you, to gain your attention, to make you proud of me. Kurt told me that he thought I wouldn’t be complete until I had love and approval from you two, but he’s wrong. They complete me- Lola and Kurt, and everyone else sat here right now. Cut me out if you want, I won’t do the same to you. I’ll always be here if you want to make contact but I’m not going to change to please you, when you never changed for me.”

Into the thick, dark silence a small voice comes.

“Me love you, daddy.”

“And I love you too, cutie,” Blaine says, his voice thick with emotion as he takes her into his arms. Holding her tight, he closes his eyes and kisses her forehead softly. When he looks again, his parents are gone.

“And me love Kurrr,” Lola continues, oblivious to everyone’s distress. “And Ooper, and Finn and Achel and Zach and him, and him," she points to Leroy and Hiram, “and mamma and grandpa.”

“Good, good, you’ve got a lot of love to give,” Finn says, taking her from a numb Blaine. “Now give daddy a kiss and come with me.”

“Blaine, I’ll go and give her and Zach a bath, okay?” Rachel says softly as she rubs his back gently.

“Hmm? Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Rach.”

Hiram and Leroy say their goodbyes, talking in hushed tones to Burt and Carole in the hallway- leaving Kurt and Cooper still sat at the table, and Blaine standing in his place, shell shocked.

“Um...Blaine?” Kurt says after a pause. “Are you okay?”

“Actually....I really think I am,” Blaine says, still staring at the far wall. “I think....I think I said what I wanted to. And to coin a phrase, I am what I am. If they don’t want that then it’s their loss, there are plenty of people who do. I’ve tried, but ultimately my responsibility is to you and Lola now, not them.”

“They might think about it, change their minds after a while.”

“Maybe. And if they do....well I meant what I said. I’d give them a chance. But if they don’t....then that’s okay too. What about you Cooper?”

Cooper sighs heavily and runs his hands over his face. “It went pretty much as I expected, to be honest. But I feel the same as you. It’s like...their arrival cemented- for me- where I do belong. And you know what occurred to me? It’s not who created you, or gave birth to you. It’s who raised you- like you with Lola, or who cares for you with unwavering love and support, like Burt and Carole. That’s what makes a parent. And Blaine....above everything, I am so glad you’re my brother.”

They cry then, both of them falling into each others arms. Kurt drops a kiss to the top of Blaine’s head and walks away, giving them this time to be alone. He goes upstairs to help Rachel dry two wriggling babies before taking Lola, curling up with her on his bed as she drinks her milk. Blaine joins him when Lola is almost asleep and Kurt lifts her onto the small cot before taking Blaine in his arms, knowing he needs to be held. Not a word is spoken, just soft kisses exchanged as tears are chased away and eventually they drift to sleep.

Hiram’s words come back to him when he wakes in the middle of the night, his shirt soaked as Blaine silently cries against him. Stroking his hair back from his forehead, Kurt kisses the tracks on Blaine’s face before he looks at him in the darkness.

“I love you.”

“It’s not fair, is it?” Blaine whispers.

“No it’s not fair. But we will get through this. Me and you, together. It will always hurt, Blaine. Don’t try and pretend otherwise.”

“I meant it though, you and Lola complete me.”

“I know. I know because I feel the same. And I’ll still be here in the morning, and the one after that and the one after that....forever. And I am so proud to call you mine. I’m proud that you felt able to stand up for yourself, for Lola, and for me. It means more to me than you could ever know.”

“Kurt...it’s Christmas eve tomorrow. When we wake up...can we put all this behind us and focus on it being our first Christmas together?”

 **  
**“I think that sounds perfect.”


	24. Chapter 24

“You’re up early,” Burt says as he hands Blaine a steaming mug of coffee.

“Waiting for you.”

“Oh. Right.” Burt sits on the porch swing, warming his hands around his drink as he stares into the distance with Blaine. “How you feeling?”

“Like I’m ready to move on. Is it okay to think that?”

“You know Blaine, I think it is. You did well last night. You did exactly what I asked of you. You laid it out and now it’s all up to them. You can’t force people to be something they’re not. Some people have kids but have no inclination to be a parent, and then sometimes the tables are turned, like with you.”

“I never thought I’d say it, but I love being a dad.”

“You’re a natural.”

“So is Kurt.”

“He is. I always knew he would be though. I’ll admit I didn't know about you.”

“I’m better though, with Kurt. Not just as a parent, I’m a better person in general”

“I can see that. It works both ways.”

"Burt?"

"Yeah?"

"I....um....ugh. Nevermind."

"Spit it out boy."

"I just....you know I'll always love him, right? I'll always take care of him."

"I know that."

"And I'd never hurt him. I mean, I have recently, but I think he knows how sorry I am and I think we've come past that."

"I agree. Blaine, are you trying to get to a point here, or what?"

"Yes! Yes." Blaine draws a trembling breath, wiping his now sweaty palms on his pajamas. "Kurt is...he's my best friend. My best friend in the entire world, and I feel so incredibly lucky that I get to share his life, to be a part of it."

A lull in conversation ensues, both looking out into the crisp December morning silent and still as Burt waits, patiently.

“I....uh....yeah.” Blaine stammers.

“I see,” Burt nods. “Care to elaborate?”

“I love Kurt.”

“I know.”

“I want to....shit. This is really hard,” Blaine moans as Burt looks down at the wooden porch and laughs softly to himself. “Okay, deep breath,” Blaine mutters to himself. “I would like to ask Kurt to marry me, and I wanted your permission to do so.”

“I thought that might be it,” Burt says, and he can't resist setting their mugs down and pulling Blaine into his arms. “And I think you know you have my permission, support, everything. And I’m touched that you asked. I take it you are completely sure?”

“Yes. I know I said I’d never get married again, in fact I can remember sitting on your couch and saying it. But then I never thought I’d get Kurt. I'm just....nervous."

“What for?"

"Well....it won't be his first proposal, will it?"

"Erm, actually it will be," Burt says.

"Oh," Blaine says quietly and everything in him sinks. "So he asked Ian. I never thought...."

"No, he didn't. No one asked anyone. From what I understand they just discussed it as being the next logical step after buying the apartment. They both agreed and went ring shopping the next day. No one got down on one knee, no one made any declaration of undying love and no one asked any permission. Kurt did admit to Carole that he wasn't what he had dreamed of."

"Do you know...Erm...what he has dreamed of? It's just...I have a ring, and I know I want to, but I don't know when, exactly, or how."

"You know Kurt- he's all about romance. He wants the perfect setting, the grand gesture an' all that."

"Any ideas? I'm only gonna do this once, so I want to get it right."

"Think of something that means something to you both. And involve Lola. To be honest, anything involving the both of you, Kurt is gonna love."

"Okay." swallowing over the lump in his throat, Blaine finishes his coffee. "You don't think this is too soon?"

"No," Burt answers immediately. "You both know where this is headed. I know I was a bit hard on you at first, but you both needed to work out exactly what it was you wanted, and how to work that Lil Princess into the mix. Now you have, and I don't see any reason to wait."

"It won't be right away..." Blaine says as he thinks aloud. "But I have an idea, and I might need your help."

* * *

Blaine hovers in the doorway, as yet unseen. He's unable to take the grin from his face as he watches Lola, sitting on Kurt's stomach and leaning back against his drawn up knees. Her little hands are waving in the air as Kurt sings, her voice joining in sweetly for the words she knows.

".....how I wonder what you are," Kurt finishes, as Lola claps enthusiastically.

"Again Kurr, again."

"Seriously? That's like the sixth time."

"Again."

"Only because I love you."

"Love you Kurrr," she says, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Room for a small one?"

"Blaine!" Kurt cries, happily pulling back the covers and pulling him into the crook of his arm. "Where have you been?"

"On the porch, having early morning coffee with your dad," Blaine says, in between dropping kisses over both their faces.

"He's awake?"

"Yeah, he's in the kitchen reading the newspaper."

"Lola, would you like to see grandpa?" Kurt asks.

"Grandpa!"

"Excellent," he says, climbing from bed and lifting her. "Back in a second," he says to Blaine, leaning down to whisper, "Get naked."

"He'll know exactly what we're doing," Blaine says when Kurt returns, locking the door and quickly stepping out of his pajamas.

"I don't care." Pulling back the covers, he eagerly drapes his body over Blaine's, both men sighing happily as they press together. "We need to be together."

They kiss lazily, Blaine's leg automatically wrapping around Kurt's thighs and pulling him closer as they rock together. Breaking off, Kurt looks down at Blaine's face, full of concern.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," comes the reply, as he hastily wipes at a few stray tears, "I just love you so damn much."

"I love you too, and I wish we had all day. That we could take as long as we wanted."

"But we can't, I know."

"Being naked with you is my favorite thing to do," Kurt sings softly with an impish grin.

Blaine pulls him down once more, into a deep, searing and passionate kiss. He smoothes his hands over every part of Kurt that he can, settling his hands on his ass cheeks and guiding him to grind against him.

"Your ass is....oh!" Blaine cries as Kurt nips at the sensitive spot just under his ear.

"So is yours....I wanna see you ride me baby," Kurt whispers hotly, Blaine nodding frantically as he scrambles to the nightstand for lube.

* * *

"Good morning darling," Carole says brightly, walking into the kitchen. "Oh, I see you've been left quite literally holding the babies," she remarks, smiling as she takes in the sight of Lola and Zach sat on each knee.

"Thank goodness you're awake. Been sitting here for the last half hour waiting for someone to talk to, to take my mind off things," Burt grumbles.

"Isn't Cooper awake? And what things?" she asks with concern, pulling up a chair and holding her arms out to Lola.

"He went out late last night and has yet to return home. Meanwhile, the rest of them are busy turning my house into a den of iniquity," he moans, wincing as the sound of a thumping headboard grows louder.

"I see. Well honey they're young, with young children. It's not easy. You take any chance you can get. Oh my!" Carole's hand covers her mouth to suppress a laugh as the very loud, very distinct sound of Blaine yelling 'holy shit' comes through the ceiling. "Okay. Radio!" She cries, finding the first station she can and cranking up the volume.

* * *

".....Yes! Yes! So good Kurt...so....good....." Blaine rambles as Kurt's hands find his nipples and rub over them. Throwing his head back, Blaine rides Kurt's cock faster, crying out as Kurt raises his hips and finds that magic spot. "Holy shit!"

"Go on baby, come for me. Let me see you come," Kurt cries as his hand wraps deftly around Blaine and begins to pump.

"Yes Kurt, yes. Gonna come....fuck....gonna come all over you."

"Go on baby," Kurt urges, "let go."

With a final shout, Blaine comes hard onto Kurt's stomach, the sight and sound making Kurt tremble and shudder through his own orgasm before they fall into a sweaty, sticky mess together on the bed.

* * *

"Good morning," Rachel says sheepishly as she draws a chair up to the table.

"Hello honey. Morning Finn," Carole calls, perhaps a touch too brightly as she stands at the stove. "Breakfast won't be long....oh, morning boys!"

A hastily showered and beamingly happy Kurt and Blaine walk into the room as Burt finally lowers his paper to look at the four.

"Morning. Thanks for watching her, dad," Kurt says as he kisses Lola's cheeks, who is sitting happily in her highchair sucking on a soggy piece of French toast. Burt starts to say something, but the back door slams loudly and Cooper bursts into the kitchen.

"Morning all!" he cries happily, ignoring the looks as he sits at the table in his dishevelled clothes from the night before and starts helping himself to food. "Breakfast. Mmmm."

"Right. Everybody done? Sated? Whatever?" Burt asks gruffly. "Ready to start the day?"

"Sorry," Rachel says as she blushes and stares at the table.

"You two I don't mind so much," Burt says. "At least nobody has to listen. You two on the other hand..." he turns his focus to Kurt and Blaine, who stops with his fork halfway to his mouth and stares in horror. "The dog from six blocks over would like his hearing back please. He lost it when Blaine started screaming."

Cooper chokes on his orange juice, face beet red as he coughs and splutters and laughs even harder as he looks at his brother. "Dude! I never had you down as a screamer. Awesome."

"As for you," Burt points to a bewildered Cooper. "You may be thirty five years old sunshine, but how many times do I need to tell you, call if you're not coming home."

"Sorry," Cooper mumbles, and he at least has the decency to blush slightly. Thoroughly chastised, the rest of breakfast passes in near silence, with plenty of nudging under the table and suppressed sniggers until Carole sighs loudly.

"Okay. Enough. Cooper, go shower and dress. Everyone else, be ready in half an hour, I want to take my grandkids to see Santa at the mall."

"Cool!" Cooper cries excitedly as he stands. "Oh and by the way Rach," he says with a wicked grin, "Quinn is home for the holidays."

"How did you.....?" Rachel trails off, eyes wide. "Cooper Anderson you did NOT!" she screeches as she chases a cackling Cooper through the house.

"Gross," Blaine mutters.

"That makes me the only guy in this house not to have fooled around with Quinn Fabray," Kurt says. "I don't know whether to be proud of me or ashamed of you all."

"Excuse me?" Burt says, "might wanna amend that statement buddy."

"Oh my god dad, you know I didn't mean you." Kurt groans as he lifts Lola from the high chair. "Come on cutie, let's get you dressed. Coming?"

"In a minute," Blaine says, kissing the fingers of Kurt's outstretched hand. He waits until he hears footsteps on the stairs and then turns to Burt.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No," Burt says, the hint of a smile playing on his lips as he watches him shifting anxiously in his seat. "Believe it or not, I can remember what those flushes of new love were like."

"About what I asked you earlier...."

"Yes?"

"I um...I need you to find something for me."

* * *

By the time evening comes everyone is feeling blissfully content. Blaine sits cross legged on the bathroom floor, splashing bubbles at Lola in the bathtub when Kurt enters, kneeling next to him and dropping a light kiss to his cheek.

"Happy?"

"You have no idea," Blaine replies, leaning against him slightly. "You know like in the films, when they have those picture perfect family Christmases? Well this feels like I'm in one of them."

"Who's coming tonight, Lola?" Kurt asks with a beaming smile.

"Not me, that's for sure," Blaine mutters, earning him a sharp tap on the knee.

"Santa!" the little girl yells, splashing excitedly.

"That's right," Blaine says scooping bubbles up in his hands. "Santa, in his red suit," he laughs as he tugs at Kurt's red sweater, "with his rosy cheeks and big...white...beard," he leans back and smiles, satisfied with his handiwork as Kurt sits there wearing a beard of bubbles.

"Santa Kurr! Santa Kurr!" Lola laughs, and Kurt's face turns from one of mutiny to smiles as he flicks the bubbles to Blaine.

"Naughty daddy, he should know Santa only visits the good boys and girls."

"I'd rather forgo my gifts if it means I can be naughty with you," Blaine says, his eyes twinkling as he crawls across the floor for a kiss.

"You..." Kurt gets out between kisses, "are...insatiable. Now get Lola ready and meet me downstairs in a few minutes." With a final kiss, and one for Lola, he goes leaving a deliriously happy father and daughter smiling at each other.

"Yeah..." Blaine says as he folds her into a large fluffy towel. "He has that effect on me too."

"What's going on?" Blaine asks as he finds everyone cluttering up the hallway, the living room door tightly closed.

"Kurt shooed us all out. Told us to wait here," Finn says as he hops from foot to foot impatiently. "Cooper and I were just gonna give Zach his first lesson in Mario Kart."

"You were not," Rachel huffs. "He's going to bed so he's asleep when Santa arrives."

Burt chuckles heartily, then nearly falls through the door he is leaning against as Kurt pulls it open and stands there, looking adorable with his hair slightly mussed and his cheeks pink.

"Okay. Um...this isn't your actual gift or anything, it's just....something I've always dreamed of since I was little and this year seemed like the perfect time to do it. So I ...uh..."

"Kurt," his dad interrupts.

"Yeah?"

"Stop rambling."

"Oh right. Okay. So, you can come in."

Blaine’s breath catches in his throat as he enters the room. It is lit only by the lights from the tree and a crackling, blazing fire in the hearth. Under the tree is a huge stack of presents waiting for tiny hands to tear at the wrapping the next day, and across the fireplace hangs a line of red stockings, names embroidered on each, from Burt right the way down to Zach. A plate of cookies and steaming mugs of mulled wine are on the coffee table, with two bottles of milk lined up alongside. Carols play softly in the background and Kurt stands by the fireplace, chewing his lip nervously. It’s about all Blaine can do not to fall onto one knee there and then, but he settles instead for taking his face on his hands and kissing him tenderly.

“Did you make these?” he asks, running his fingers over the fur trim on his own stocking.

“Yeah. I just...you know what you said about the film? Well I always wanted that too. Remember last year? Ian and I flew in late Christmas eve and left the next night. But this year, there’s really nowhere else I’d rather be. And I’m gonna shut up now or I’ll cry.”

 **  
**Blaine laughs softly and folds him into a warm embrace. “Same. Last year, I was miserable as hell. If you’d told me all that would happen I’d never have believed it, but now here I am- perfect boyfriend and daughter. I love you so much, Kurt.” Cradling Kurt’s face once more, it’s as if no one else is in the room as the pair kiss deeply. Behind them, amid much eye rolling and sniggering, Carole snapping away with her camera and Rachel filming on her iPad, Burt settles himself in the armchair with two sleepy babies snuggled against him drinking their milk. He doesn’t know quite how his family grew from two to nine, but he’s sure as hell glad it did. Burt Hummel is one happy man.


	25. Chapter 25

“Lola Anderson, you will be the best dressed little girl in all of New York,” Rachel laughs as she opens yet another outfit. Lola, being far more thrilled at tearing the pretty paper, turns excitedly in Rachel’s lap and starts clapping.

“I’m sure I should take offense at the amount of clothes she’s got,” Blaine mutters. He’s lying on his stomach on the floor, engrossed in building the toy train he brought for Zach. “It’s like you’re saying I can’t dress her.”

“Oh honey....you can’t,” Kurt says sweetly, then dodges the balled up gift wrap hurled his way. “Okay, so my turn,” he says as he hands out his packages. “And Lola and Blaine, these are small gifts because your actual gift is waiting for you in New York.”

“Is it a puppy?” Blaine asks excitedly.

“No, it is not. Why would I leave a puppy to wait for you in New York? And why would I buy a puppy anyway? I’ve already got you and Lola to look after.”

“Ouch!” Cooper laughs.

“Well you didn’t have to get me anything anyway,” Blaine says as he unwraps his gift, “But thank you,” and he has to blink back tears as he looks down at the framed photo of the three of them with Santa, taken only the week before. “Beautiful.”

“Santa? Well if that’s your thing...” Kurt whispers in his ear, making Blaine laugh out loud. “And Lola, this is for you.”

“Baby!” Lola shouts as she tears at the paper to reveal a cute little rag doll.

“Kurt, is that...?”

“Yes,” Kurt replies as he pulls Lola into his lap. “Lola, this is your baby now, but you have to look after her, okay? Her name is Lily, and she was mine. I used to take her to bed every night and cuddle her tight, but before that she belonged to my mom.”

“Kurt...you can't give her that,” Blaine says quietly, voice thick with emotion as the others look on.

“I can and I want to. I’ve spruced her up a bit, you know, so she doesn’t look quite so worn. And I know she’s probably not that exciting, and I know Lola already has bunny. But I just... I think if my mom were here she’d fall in love with Lola just like the rest of us have.”

“She would son,” Burt says, then clears his throat quickly.

“It’s a beautiful gift, Kurt,” Carole says wiping at her eyes delicately. “Your mom would be so...Lola? You okay sweetie?”

Taking herself from Rachel's lap, she walks toward Carole with her arm outstretched. “Me no want bunny,” she says, giving the small pink rabbit to her and returning now to Kurt’s lap she scoops up Lily and sucks contentedly on her thumb.

“Kurt, that is the sweetest gift you could have given,” Rachel says. “I’m totally over this Christmas thing,” she says as she wipes her eyes, “It’s so much more emotional than Hanukkah.”

“So we have gifts for you Kurt,” Blaine crawls under the tree and emerges, handing a small box to him proudly.

“I told you not to go overboard,” Kurt says with a raised eyebrow as he opens the infamous blue Tiffany’s box.

“I didn’t.”

“Wow. It’s beautiful,” Kurt says as he cradles the diamond butterfly brooch carefully. “I’m seriously impressed. You know nothing about jewellery. How did you manage to pull this off?”

“Um..well... I know you like diamonds, and Tiffany’s, and Lola likes butterflies so...”

“I love it, and I love you.” Kurt says with a firm kiss to his lips.

“Right.” Blaine straightens up, rubbing his hands on his jeans and swallowing nervously. Picking up another small box, he holds his hand out to Lola. “Okay Lola. One more gift. Can you remember who it’s for?”

“Ku...” she starts, then remembers. “My Papa!” thrusting the box at Kurt, she dances around him, proud of herself for remembering what daddy had taught her. “No Kurr, my papa!”

“What did she...what did....are you....?” Kurt fumbles for his words as a trembling hand covers his lips.

“Just open the box,” Blaine says with a soft smile. Nestled inside is a pair of platinum cufflinks, ‘For Papa,’ is engraved on one, and the other holds a thumbprint with ‘from Lola x’ engraved underneath. Blaine waits patiently for a response, but Kurt cannot speak as his head bows and he breaks into sobs, overwhelmed with the emotions coursing through him.

“Oh, hey...” Blaine says as he rushes to hold him. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. If it’s too much we can...”

“It’s not too much!” Kurt sobs over his shoulder. “It’s everything! It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Are you...”

“Sure? Yes. And so is she. Not that she knows what it means of course, but we want you to have that role in our lives, Kurt. I want you to be her Papa. I know you are anyway, but I want you to have the title to go with it.”

“Thank you,” he whispers, unable to say anything else before Blaine’s lips are on his, in a kiss which is anything other than PG.

“Go Blainers!” Cooper calls. “Hey Lola, papa and daddy are totally getting their mack on!”

“Okay boys, okay. Calm it down or take it upstairs please,” Burt grumbles.

“Well....you did give us an option,” Kurt says as he tugs Blaine to his feet and they run for the stairs.

* * *

“I mean it was perfect...but I’m glad it’s just us again now.” Blaine says as he lifts Lola onto his hip and pulls a suitcase from the trunk.

“Me too, and having sex only twice in five days does not a happy Blaine make,” Kurt says with a smile.

“I wasn’t that bad.”

“You were very cranky for the whole journey home.”

“I wasn’t! Well....maybe a bit. But at least we didn’t have Cooper this time.”

“No, I think all road trips from now on will have to have Rachel and Cooper in a different car to anybody else.” Kurt leads the way from the underground parking lot to his building, pulling two suitcases as Blaine carries Lola and bags full of gifts. Both greet George happily, who chucks Lola under the chin. When the elevator opens and they stop in front of Kurt’s door, he turns to Blaine nervously.

“Okay. Your gift- for both of you- is behind this door. I want you to just...take some time before you let me know what you think, okay? And....some people might see this as an act of selfishness, I prefer to look at it more as me laying my heart on the line.” Without another word he unlocks the door, stepping to one side and allowing Blaine to carry Lola inside.

The first thing Blaine notices is the huge 'Welcome Home' banner strung between the two windows. The second is the decor. The dove grey walls are now oatmeal in color, with the wall housing the fireplace painted a rich chocolate. The parquet floors remain, but the curtains and large rug have changed to a medium brown. Sitting unmistakably against one wall is Blaine's enormous leather couch. He starts towards it, but then becomes distracted as he takes in the photos. Photos everywhere, in large frames and small. Photos of Kurt and Blaine in France, in England, even in their graduation gowns. Photos of Burt and Carole, Finn, Rachel and Cooper. Photos of Zach with various family members and of course, photos of Lola- some of which Kurt must have taken when he was sitting her as Blaine has never seen them. The walls and shelves are covered. Not obscenely so, it doesn't take away from the serene atmosphere the apartment seems to hold, but they're there, letting anyone who walks in know that a family lives here, a family who love each other and who are loved.

"Lola, daddy!" the little girl cries happily and Blaine turns to where she is pointing above the fireplace at a huge canvas print which Blaine has definitely never seen- because it's a professional studio portrait of her, curls tumbling around her face as she smiles directly into the camera, golden eyes sparkling. Turning to Kurt, he opens his mouth to speak, but Kurt just shakes his head and gestures towards the kitchen instead.

Blaine sets Lola down and walks into the vast room. He can't help but gasp- the kitchen has been completely remodelled, the previously black worktops have been replaced by white marble with solid oak cabinets beneath. He smiles to himself as he notes the island is still in place, and makes mental plans to christen it later. Wordlessly, Kurt opens a couple of cupboards, giving Blaine a clear view of Minnie Mouse tableware, as well as all Lola's favorite cereal and his own favorite Nutella.

He is tugged out into the hallway, now painted a light spring green with cream colored furniture, and down to the guest room Lola always uses. Except it's not a guest room any more. Painted wooden letters spelling out Lola form an arch on the door, and Blaine lets his daughter push the door open herself, holding her tiny hand and unable to keep a sob from escaping as he looks around. The room is beautiful. Truly a room fit for a princess, from the canopy over the bed, to the wonderful mural painted on the far wall, where unicorns, fairies, butterflies and bunnies all come together in a magical woodland scene, with a giant rainbow above it all. Lola immediately senses it's all for her, moving to the dainty white bed and placing Lily on it then running to the bookshelf and letting out a squeal when she spies her favorite books.

Warm arms wrap themselves around Blaine's waist, and a soft kiss is placed just below his ear, making him shiver and lean back into the touch, but he doesn't get to revel in it for long before he's dragged into the hallway again, Kurt briefly showing him a brightly colored playroom full of toys before they stop outside the double doors to the bedroom. Taking a deep breath, Kurt pushes them open with a flourish, laughing at the comical look on Blaine's face as his eyes go wide. Thick, luxurious cream carpet is underfoot, the walls a pale duck egg blue with darker blue curtains. Brand new mahogany furniture is arranged perfectly, two chests of drawers sat side by side- his and....well, his. But the thing that really grabs Blaine's attention is the enormous bed, which looks like it is just waiting to have its strength tested and bed covers rumpled. Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth in a grin which makes Kurt's heart lurch, Blaine laughs quietly as he walks into the closet and takes in the sight of his suits lined up neatly alongside Kurt's. It's a sight he could definitely get used to.

"One more thing," Kurt whispers, pulling him toward their bathroom and flipping the light.

"You moved my shower?!" Blaine shouts in surprise, his face breaking into a beaming grin as he admires it standing proudly alongside the large, sunken tub.

"No," Kurt laughs, "I got a new one."

"Kurt...." Blaine starts, his face turning serious as he leads him back to sit on the bed.

"No Blaine, let me. I know I should have asked, we should have discussed this, but I... I just thought that maybe if I changed everything then you would possibly consider....."

"What? What are you asking?"

"I'm asking you to move in with me. I'm asking if you would sell your place and buy half of this with me. I love you both so much, and I remember you telling me you had lived in many places but you'd never had a home. My heart broke at that, and I just thought....maybe we could make this our home, together?"

"You had all this done while we were away?"

"Yes. I haven't had all your stuff moved, you know, if you didn't want..."

"Kurt...."

"Because I know it's a big thing, and...."

"Kurt...."

"We have Lola to consider and what's best for her and..."

"Kurt!"

"Sorry," Kurt blushes, folding his hands in his lap and staring at them intently.

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes, we will move in. Now. Today. I can't think of anything I would want more. And I can't believe you did all this for us. It is truly beautiful. I mean I liked it before, but now it's just....perfect. Our perfect home."

"I think I might cry," Kurt says, becoming overwhelmed as he hides his head in Blaine’s neck.

“Go ahead, I am already,” Blaine chokes out, and Kurt pulls back to smile at his glistening eyes.

“Do you want to live here though? I mean, we can buy somewhere different if...”

“Kurt, I want to live here, with you, in the apartment that you chose, and you decorated just for us. I know you lived here with Ian, but it really doesn’t bother me.”

“Okay,” Kurt heaves a great sigh of relief and falls against Blaine’s shoulder once more.

“There is one thing though.”

“Oh?”

“I want to buy the whole place outright.”

“No.” Kurt says instantly, sitting upright, his eyes immediately turning hard.

“What? Kurt, I have money. There’s no need for you to...”

“I said no, and I won’t back down on this. Buy your half outright if you want, but I’m paying my way. I don’t want to hurt your feelings Blaine, really. But I want to do my part, to provide for you and Lola as much as you do for us. I know you have money, I don’t know how much, and I don’t need to.”

“It’s not a secret.”

“No, and if you feel the need to tell me then fine, but I’m just saying it doesn’t matter. I met with Ian before the holidays, that was when he told me he wanted to sell. It was actually him who suggested I ask you to buy his share, and he told me you could probably buy the whole building if you wanted...”

“I don’t know about that,” Blaine laughs softly.

“Well whatever, he got me to thinking. I told him we weren’t ready, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that actually, we were. But I didn’t ask you just because I needed someone to pay the other half...”

“I know that Kurt.”

“You do?”

“I do, and I didn’t ask to buy the whole thing just to be the one in control or..."

“I know,” Kurt says with a soft touch to his arm. “But I just...need to feel like I do my part.”

“But you do, and so much more besides. Okay,” Blaine says decisively. “Truth time. I don’t know how much money I have, and I don’t care either. I know that neither Cooper or I need to work. We choose to because we love what we do and for me, now, I want to set a good example to Lola. I want to be able to hand the business down one day, whether to her, Zach, other kids, I don’t know. But I want to leave some kind of legacy, to feel like I’ve done my bit- so I understand your sentiment I really do.”

“So what will you do with it all?”

“Spend some, save some, donate some, I don’t really know. To be honest I’ve never really gotten around to doing much with it because I’ve not had any reason for it. I guess I would pay for Lola’s schooling if we decided that was the route we wanted to take, but to be honest she would probably be happier at a public school, I know I was. I’m formulating a plan as we speak here...”

“Go on.”

“How about this. I buy half the apartment straight off. We open a joint account, where we both pay in a set amount of money each month, and from that we pay the other half of the mortgage, any other bills, food and so on. All equal.”

“But you’re still paying more,” Kurt points out, not really wanting to argue but needing his point to be made.

“And so are you. You’ve been living alone, all your outgoings will be nearly triple. And you’ve seen how much I eat. Kurt, what’s mine is yours. From Lola to sweatpants and everything inbetween. You are your own person. Wanting to have a comfortable family life and not having to worry about money does not make you a bad person. You’re not becoming reliant on me any more than I am becoming reliant on you. Just, think on it.”

Kurt smiles, then sits alone with his thoughts while Blaine checks on Lola- finding her busy building a miniature petting zoo with Lily sitting in the middle of it all. Returning to the bedroom, he is not expecting any answer and is surprised when Kurt stands.

“Okay.”

“Sure?”

“Yes. Fuck it, I hate my overwhelming need to be the dominant one. I guess I just have to learn to let go once in awhile.”

“Oh baby,” Blaine moans, the mere mention of dominance going straight to his cock. “You can be as dominant as you want,” he whispers, sliding his hands around Kurt’s waist and nibbling at his neck. “I’m all yours.”

“Fuck,” Kurt groans, fingers tangling in Blaine’s hair and yanking his head back to expose his graceful neck. “How do you do this?” he asks in between biting at his soft flesh and running his tongue along his collarbone. “We were having a serious discussion a minute ago,”

“About your need for dominance, and I am very considerately letting you indulge that need.” Blaine says to the ceiling, whimpering as Kurt’s hands find his ass and squeeze roughly.

“Later,” he teases, pulling back and dropping a feather light kiss to his lips.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Blaine says as he adjusts the front of his pants.

 **  
**“Oh please do.”


	26. Chapter 26

“Soooo, about my need for dominance,” Kurt says as he strides across the living room and straddles a sleepy looking Blaine. It is late, Lola has been tucked up in her brand new bed for a long time, and the pair have taken their first evening as official cohabitors to celebrate by sharing a bottle of wine they purchased in Bordeaux. It is this that Kurt reaches for now, taking his time to sip slowly from his glass as he eye fucks Blaine all the while.

“Y-yes?” Blaine stammers, immediately sitting up straighter on the couch and stroking his hands over Kurt’s thighs.

"You want to make me happy, don't you Blaine?"

"Oh god yes," Blaine moans as Kurt's fingers deftly unbutton his shirt.

"Want to please me?"

"Mmm-hmm," he murmurs, then dives hungrily into the kiss Kurt offers, their wine soaked tongues clashing as they devour one another.

"Bedroom. Now," Kurt commands, and tries to hold back a smile at the comical way in which Blaine stumbles over his own feet in his eagerness to get there.

Falling back against a mountain of pillows, Kurt unbuttons his pants and pulls his cock free. "Strip," he orders, stroking himself lazily, eyes raking up and down Blaine's body.

Pushing his shirt from his shoulders, Blaine stares at Kurt, his eyes wide with lust and longing as he subconsciously licks his lips at the sight of Kurt's cock. He pushes his pants to the floor and steps from them, leaving him only in a tight pair of black briefs. Hooking his thumbs into the waistband he is stopped by Kurt's voice, strong and clear.

"Leave them on, and come here," he says, patting the bed next to him. Blaine whimpers slightly at being unable to release his cock from its confines- the commanding tone of Kurt's voice is making it drip with pre come already- and he lies on the bed with his head as near to Kurt's dick as possible, looking up at him from under his lashes and silently begging.

"You want to suck my cock baby?" Kurt asks, trailing one finger delicately along his strong jaw. "Wanna feel me in your mouth?"

"Please," Blaine moans brokenly as Kurt continues to stroke himself almost insufferably slowly. He's desperate to stuff himself into Blaine's warm wet heat, to feel his tongue around him as he hits the back of his throat again and again. But today is about teasing Blaine, turning him on more and more until he knows no sense and screams for release.

"A little," Kurt says coolly, holding back a growl of pleasure as Blaine's soft lips immediately close themselves around the head and he starts to suck, lick and taste as much as he possibly can. Kurt’s fingers run through Blaine’s hair as he watches him, watches the way in which his lips curve delicately around him and his head bobs up and down so perfectly.  

“That feels good Blaine,” Kurt says, in a tone he hopes is strong and commanding, but the break in his voice belies his desperation. “Take me deeper. And look at me.” So Blaine does, staring up at him with dark eyes framed by long, thick lashes and he knows from the way the cock in his mouth twitches, that however much Kurt tries to play it cool, he’s driving him nuts. Relaxing around him, he hums softly as he feels Kurt’s dick hit the back of his throat and he sucks slowly, pulling back to run his tongue around the head before taking him deep once more. “Stop,” Kurt moans, giving up the calm pretence as he clutches wildly at his hair. “Stop or I’ll come...fuck....down your throat.” His words only spur Blaine on, and he builds a swift rhythm and fondles Kurt’s balls at the same time, desperate to feel his hot come flowing into his mouth. “Blaine, I...” is all Kurt can manage before his orgams rips through him and he cries out with the force of his release, whimpering softly as Blaine swallows around him.

“You taste so fucking awesome,” Blaine murmurs with a soft kiss to both jutting hip bones. “I swear I could do that forever and never have enough of you.”

“Well.....good,” Kurt laughs softly as he relaxes against the pillows. “I’m not gonna deny you. C’mere.” Falling eagerly into his open arms, Blaine kisses him deeply, running his tongue over Kurt’s lips and moaning when he complies and opens his mouth wider. They make out for the longest time, eventually pulling back to just stare into each others eyes and smile.

“I love making out with you,” Blaine whispers as his thumb traces over Kurt’s swollen lower lip. “It’s like...nothing else exists in the world in that moment. Perfect.”

“Hmm, I agree. But I haven’t finished with you yet,”

“Oh?”

“You didn’t think I’d leave you high and dry did you?”

“Well I just....”

“This needs attention,” Kurt says, grabbing Blaine’s half hard cock and pushing him onto his back. He quickly removes Blaine’s briefs, leaving him naked and watching as Kurt stands and undresses before crawling across to drape himself over Blaine. “I’m gonna suck you....” Kurt whispers in his ear, pausing to nip at his earlobe. “I’m gonna suck you while you stretch me with your tongue. Then I’m gonna ride you. Okay?”

Blaine gulps and nods, afraid to open his mouth for fear of the noises that will escape. He waits for Kurt to turn around, but he doesn’t. Instead he climbs off the bed and strides confidently to the closet, returning a few moments later holding two ties.

“Holy shit,” Blaine groans, head thumping back onto the pillows.

“Ever done anything like this before?” Kurt asks, straddling his hips and running the ties through his fingers.

“What do you think?” Blaine asks, with one eyebrow raised.

“If you feel uncomfortable, just say and I’ll stop,” Kurt says as he deftly ties his left wrist to the bedpost before moving to the right.

“That’s not gonna happen,” Blaine replies in a deep, lust filled voice, his body already arching off the bed in anticipation of what is to come.

“I thought that might be your answer,” Kurt says with a kiss to his lips. “That feel okay?”

Blaine tugs on the ties, unable to hide his grin when he realizes he really cannot move. “I’m all yours.”

“Good,” and cold and commanding Kurt is back in place as he moves down to suck a hickey onto Blaine’s thigh. He mouths briefly over his rigid cock, which seems to be silently begging for attention, before he flips himself the other way and lines his hole up over Blaine’s face. He yelps when Blaine bites into the soft flesh, but then relaxes as he feels his tongue running along his crack.

Leaning forward, Kurt sucks on the very tip of Blaine’s cock, making him cry out and enjoying the vibrations of his shouts against his ass as Blaine’s tongue circles his rim. Kurt takes Blaine’s cock deeper in his throat, humming contentedly as he feels himself growing hard, dick pushing against Blaine’s neck. The feeling of Blaine’s tongue working him over is sensational, making him suck harder on Blaine’s dick as Blaine pushes into him deeper and harder, hips thrashing wildly as his senses are overwhelmed.

“Don’t come,” Kurt orders, breaking off quickly. “Keep stretching me baby. I’m gonna suck you until you’re right on the brink, but just don’t come, okay?”

“Mmmffff,” is all Kurt gets in reply, and taking it for confirmation, he returns to the task in hand. Blaine clenches his toes tightly, sure he won’t ever last as Kurt sucks for all he’s worth. Blaine is lost in the noises of their efforts and the overwhelming feeling of his tongue pushing into Kurt’s tight heat. The feeling of Kurt's walls clenching around him and the indescribable intimacy of the whole situation, has him trembling and quivering as Kurt holds his hips tightly.

Kurt pulls back, gasping for air and places a kiss to the tip of Blaine's cock, spit slicked, swollen and begging to be ridden. Feeling his entrance twitch at the very thought, Kurt turns, falling into a sloppy kiss which leaves them both panting.

"You okay baby?"

"Kurt," Blaine whimpers brokenly, thrusting up into air as he desperately seeks more friction. "Please...ride me....please!"

Straddling him, Kurt hovers above Blaine's rigid cock and looks down at him darkly. "You want it fast, or slow?"

"Fast...please Kurt...ride me hard."

"Slow it will be, then," Kurt says with a playful smile and very carefully he lowers himself so only the very tip of Blaine's cock touches his entrance.

"No, I didn't say that..."

"I know what you said. And I'm saying we're doing it this way," Kurt answers as he sinks down another inch, causing Blaine to gasp and pull hard on the ties.

"You fucking tease! Jesus Kurt I need you! I need to feel you around me....how well you take my cock..."

"Hmm, I do, don't I? And your cock serves me so well, Blaine." Another inch is swallowed by his tight hole and he rests, Blaine marvelling at the muscles in his thighs and longing to smooth his hands over them. "It gives me so much pleasure...the way it fills me up," he sinks lower, "the way it stretches me," lower, "the way it consumes me, from the inside out, until you fill me with your come." Finally, his ass meets Blaine's balls and they both cry out, Kurt breaking character to throw his head back with a guttural moan. "Jesus fuck that's good."

"Kurt move, I'm begging you, I'll do anything....just move...for fucks sake just move!" Blaine babbles, almost incoherent as he twists his head this way and that and pulls hard on his bindings.

Torturously slowly, Kurt rises and falls. "Open your eyes," he commands and is met by an almost wild, animalistic stare. "Watch my tight ass devouring your cock Blaine. Watch it pushing inside me."

"Please..." Blaine is a broken mess, torn between watching the exquisite way in which his dick slides in and out of Kurt's hole, or Kurt himself, who is now teasing his nipples and biting his lip.

"You like?"

"No!..... I mean yes!....I mean....please just give me more...please!"

Kurt rises again, but this time sinks hard and fast onto Blaine’s cock in one swift movement, and the teasing is forgotten as both cry out with the feeling, and giving in, Kurt rides Blaine as hard as he can. The only sounds come from skin on skin as Kurt squeezes his eyes shut and arches his back. With his hands tight on Blaine’s waist for leverage, he angles himself until he feels Blaine brushing his prostate.

“Oh...oh...I...” is all Kurt can manage, as Blaine meets him on every thrust, sweat pouring into his eyes with the exertion.

“Yes, Kurt....yes!”

“Fuuuuuck!” Kurt cries as he clenches tightly around Blaine’s cock.

“Touch yourself baby,” Blaine pants as his thrusts become more wild and erratic and Kurt takes himself in hand.

“Feels so good Blaine.”

“Yes. Come for me Kurt, go on.”

Unable to hold off any longer, Kurt comes. Thick white ropes decorating Blaine’s stomach as he himself fills Kurt’s ass. He opens his mouth eagerly, Kurt running a finger through his fluids and offering it to Blaine, who sucks on it greedily before dropping his head back down onto the pillow.

“That was incredible.”

“Yeah? It was okay?” Kurt asks, climbing off Blaine carefully and lying next to him.

“It was better than okay. You, my dear, are never just ‘okay’”

“Well that’s true,” Kurt laughs as he runs a finger along Blaine’s jaw then kisses him softly.

“Uh...could you untie me now, please?”

“Of course!”

“I think I’m gonna like living together,” Blaine says with a grin as he flexes his wrists gently.

“Hmmm, me too.”

* * *

“So you’ll be home by six?” Kurt asks as he pours Lola her cheerios. They have been officially living together for three weeks, but both still get a small thrill from this discussion each morning.

“Yes. Maybe earlier. So I’ll pick Lola up. And I’ll cook dinner too.”

“You don’t have to do both.”

“I want to. You can do bath time,” he says with a quick kiss to his lips on his way past.

“Ha! I see how it works. Okay mister, but dinner better be exceptional. And there better be wine.”

“I’ll need it. I’m locked in meetings over this office block we’re designing- oh, which means I won’t have my phone on a lot of the day. What are your plans?”

“I have to drive to Stamford to view a house. It’s a complete redesign throughout so I’m hoping I get it. Then I need to head to Westchester to check on progress there. Ugh. I hate being busy.”

“No you don’t. And tomorrow is Thursday anyway.”

“That’s true,” Kurt says as he tries to coax Lola to eat. “Lola and Papa’s day tomorrow.”

“And then the weekend,” Blaine says, laughing at Lola’s hand clapping.

“Not for me, I work Fridays.”

“Not this one you don’t.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s a surprise,” Blaine says with a huge grin which he tries to hide behind his iPad screen. “But don’t make any plans for the next few days.”

“Blaine...I don’t like surprises.”

“Yes you do. You’ll like this one anyway. Okay, daddy’s gotta run. See you later cutie,” he says as he kisses his daughters cheeks. “And I’ll see you later too,” he says- tone of voice changing as he pulls Kurt to his feet and wraps his arms around his waist. “And I want to see a whole lot more of you later still.”

“Hmm, any preferences?” Kurt asks, winding his arms around his neck and nuzzling at the collar of his shirt.

“Yeah....we still haven’t....in the tub.” Blaine says, rubbing his now hard cock against Kurt’s thigh.

“That can be arranged. Keep this for me,” he whispers, ghosting his fingers over the bulge in Blaine’s pants before kissing him deeply.

“I will. Okay. I love you both,” Blaine says, blowing kisses as he backs out of the door.

By midday Kurt is exhausted. He has just finished viewing the house in Stamford. Very large and elaborate and with a very demanding owner. He has spent over two hours trailing her around, listening to her list of demands and trying to suggest alternatives to her hideous decor ideas. He checks his phone, surprised to see five missed calls when Blaine had said he would be in meetings all day. His heart plummets when he sees it is not Blaine, but rather the daycare center who have been calling. He calls back immediately, fingers tapping impatiently on the steering wheel as he waits for someone to answer.

“Hello?”

“It’s Kurt. What’s happened? Is she okay?”

“Kurt. Thank goodness. She’s fine. I’m sorry, I know you’re out of town- I’ve been trying to get Blaine but he’s not picking up.”

“He’s in meetings. If Lola’s fine then why all the calls? What’s going on?”

“I need you to come in if at all possible. Right now.”

“I can be there in an hour. But what’s wrong?” Kurt snaps, desperate for an answer.

“Oh Kurt...there’s a woman here. She claims to be Lola’s mother.”

**  
  
  
**


	27. Chapter 27

“Where the hell is she?” Kurt shouts as he bursts through the door of the day care. “She hasn't seen her, has she? Just tell me she hasn’t seen Lola,” he is frantic with desperation and worry. He has been trying to get hold of Blaine or even Cooper for the whole drive over- which he made in forty five minutes- but has had no luck. Eventually, in desperation he called Rachel who agreed to take herself to Blaine’s offices to try and find him.

“Okay Kurt, just calm down a bit,” Kat- the day care manager- says, trying but failing to placate him. “Lola is safe, she doesn’t know anyone is here, not even you. The woman is in the office. But Blaine told me she didn’t have a mother. The only female allowed to collect her is your sister-in-law, and she’s been before so I knew it wasn’t her.”

“She does...have a mom that is. It’s a very long story but basically she left Lola with Blaine when Lola was eighteen months old to move to Dubai.”

“What, she’s not his?”

“She’s his. It’s just...technically she’s not mine,” Kurt says with a sigh.

“Well she couldn’t ‘technically’ belong to both of you, but you’re still her papa.”

“But I haven’t got any legal rights to her.”

“No, but Blaine has. Now come on, let’s go meet with her. I have to say, whoever she is, I don’t like her. Can I say that?”

“You just did Kat. But yes, you can say that. I loathe the bitch. She was married to Blaine. Kept his balls in her back pocket.”

Laughing, Kat leads them down the corridor to the office. “Sounds to me like Lola had a lucky escape.”

“Hello Kurt,” Lisa says as he enters the room. “I’m surprised to see you here. The staff told me they were trying to locate Lola’s father.”

“They did,” Kurt answers coldly, standing with his arms folded and staring down at her. “You’re looking at him.”

Kat sits behind the desk, and watches the situation carefully. It looks as though either one might lunge at the other at any given time, and Kat doesn’t fancy Lisa’s chances right now.

“Oh, he gave her to you!” Lisa laughs, high pitched and cold before turning to him stony faced.

“Fuck off bitch,” Kurt snaps. “You wanna look at it that way then fine. He gave Lola to me. And he gives himself to me too, willingly. Night after night.”

“Oh my,” Kat says softly from behind her hand, trying to hide a laugh at the look of shock which places itself on Lisa’s face.

“What did you just say?”

“You heard. He’s mine,” Kurt almost sneers as Lisa stands to face him. “Blaine, Lola and I are a family. And just so you know, your ex-husband moans like a whore when I fuck him.” He is almost nose to nose with her now, eyes flashing fire and voice dangerously low.

“I don’t believe you.” Lisa snaps back, turning to face a highly embarrassed Kat. “You. Tell me, who is this man in relation to my daughter?”

“He’s telling the truth,” Kat says calmly. “He is Lola’s papa. He came with Blaine to look around back in August, he regularly brings her or picks her up. Lola idolizes him, and has been calling him papa since Christmas, which was when they all moved in together. I uh...can’t comment on the sex though. Ask Blaine’s brother if you want to know. He’s not very discreet.”

“I thought you got married,” Lisa says to Kurt.

“No. The day you arrived with Lola? Blaine and I had just returned from vacation. A very interesting vacation where he told me all about your marriage, and where he also told me about his feelings for me.”

“Which of course, you just happened to reciprocate.”

“I did actually. But you knew that already, didn’t you?”

“You have ruined my whole fucking life,” Lisa seethes between gritted teeth. “First you took my husband, and now I find out you’ve taken my daughter? Well my child will not be calling two men daddy. No fucking way.”

“She doesn’t. She calls Blaine daddy and she calls me papa. Keep up Lisa, Kat just told you that. And she’s not your daughter, is she? You relinquished all rights as far as I remember. You left Blaine with a sleeping child and a diaper bag. Cooper and I, not to mention the rest of my family, had to pick Blaine up, dust him off and convince him that he could do this. Do you know how tough it was on him at first? But he is doing so amazingly well. He is honestly the best dad anyone could wish for. Lola has got stability in her life. She lives with us, she has loving grandparents and Uncles, an Aunt and a cousin who all adore her. Why the hell did you have to come back and fuck it all up? And how did you find us anyway?”

“I called Blaine’s work yesterday but he had already left, his assistant said it was to collect his daughter. I asked which day care and she told me. Simple as that. And seeing as it was Lola I came to see, I figured I might as well come straight here, but she,” she spits, pointing at Kat, “wouldn’t let me.”

“I’m sorry, but it is standard procedure that only the designated people can pick a child up. You are not on Kurt and Blaine’s list.”

“Wanna bet?” Kurt mutters darkly.

“Well, not this list anyway. Blaine, Kurt, Rachel, Finn or Cooper. Those are the only ones.”

“Cooper?” Lisa shrieks, “Cooper?! You let that idiot alone with my child?”

“I’m sorry, but I fail to see what this has to do with you,” Kurt says in disbelief. “Read my lips, woman. She is not yours. Nothing to do with you at all. We raise her how we see fit. And for your information, Lola adores Cooper and he is great with her. In fact, I really don’t know where we would be without him.”

“He’s an ass. He stole my shoes on my wedding day. My shoes! And threw them in the lake. Who does that?”

“Well I don’t have a reply to that. Look,” Kurt says, his tone softening slightly. “I’m gonna go and get Lola and take her home. If you want to see her you need to talk to Blaine. The only discussion we ever had about the possibility of your return Blaine was...well...less than tolerant. Be prepared for a lot of anger Lisa, a lot.”

“Can’t I come home with you now? I need to see Blaine."

“Why, Lisa? Why now? You told Blaine you didn’t want her back.”

“I don’t. I really don’t. I just...I’m in New York for a few days and I just wanted to see Blaine about something, that’s all.”

“LIke I said, you will have to talk to him.” He offers a small smile before starting to the door, feeling proud that he has managed to harness his rage somewhat and leave calmly. He is completely unprepared for the physical attack which follows.

"You little fucking bitch!" Lisa suddenly screams, and lunging at him, she grabs a fistful of his hair and pushes him against the wall. Kurt yells and tries to push away, but sheer rage is making Lisa strong, and she pins him there. "Do you know how much I hate you? Have always hated you? Blaine's probably told you I was a bitch, but let me tell you something. I cared for him. Maybe I even loved him, I don't know. I actually wanted our marriage to work, but it never stood a fucking chance because of you and your faggy ass. Lola IS mine, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. I gave birth to her, she is half me, half Blaine. He can never, ever have that with you. I will fight and fight to get Blaine back, and he is so fucking weak and no doubt in love with the child, that he will blindly follow if he thinks I'm going to take her. You deserve to be miserable Kurt, you deserve to be alone. You spent your life obsessing over Blaine and his butt, you turned him gay for fucks sake. But while you were doing that you still found time to lead some perfectly innocent guy on with wild claims about love and marriage.

All I did was marry a guy who is so fucked in the head by the mind games you and his parents play, that he doesn't know who he is or what he wants to be. Well let me tell you, I know what he wants. He wants to make his parents happy, he wants their approval, and he knows the only way he's ever gonna do that is by being with me."

"Bullshit!" Kurt yells, pushing out of her hold and whirling around. "Is that why you're here? Did they put you up to this? I wouldn't be surprised. But I know for certain that Blaine won't leave me. Not because I have any hold over him, but because he IS who he wants to be. He is out and proud, he has a beautiful daughter and he's in a loving relationship. You know nothing about him! Nothing!"

"And you don't know anything about Lola either," Kat suddenly says boldly from the corner.

"Shut the hell up bitch, I raised her for the first year and a half, he's had her for six months," Lisa spits, a look of utter disdain on her face as she eyes the young day care manager up and down.

"Oh, okay then," Kat says, turning on the sass and standing with her hands on her hips. "Tell me Lola's middle name."

"She doesn't have one," Lisa replies with an evil grin.

"Wrong. It's Elizabeth. Blaine added it. What's Lola's favorite toy?"

"Easy. It's a bunny."

"Wrong again. It's a rag doll called Lily. She takes it everywhere and cuddles it at nap time. Dear me. You aren't doing too well here, are you? One more. What is Lola's favourite song, barring her Uncle's own compositions?"

"Oh for goodness sake," Lisa snaps. "How the hell am I supposed to know that? She's not even two, she probably doesn't have one."

"It's Twinkle Twinkle, and she sings all the time. Now if I know all this, and I only see her in day care three days a week, don't you think this is the type of thing a mother should definitely know? You're not a mom. You gave birth to her, the same way any surrogate would have. Kurt, go and collect your daughter and enjoy the rest of your afternoon. You," she says turning to Lisa once more, "Get the hell out before I call the cops."

With shaking fingers, Kurt fumbles to strap Lola into her car seat, offering her a trembling smile to try and reassure her, but he knows from her quietness that she senses all is not well. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he reads the text from Rachel.

I've finally got him. Shall we come to the daycare?

No, I've collected Lola. Meet us at home.

Sure. And I think I'll take Lola overnight Kurt, he's angry. I've never seen him like this.

Kurt throws his head back against the headrest and sighs deeply, mentally trying to prepare himself for seeing Blaine, but nothing does. Tearing into the apartment, tie loose and hair in disarray, he picks Lola up and holds her tight, so tight that the little girl starts to cry.

"Blaine, Blaine put her down," Kurt says with a worried glance towards Rachel. "Please Blaine, you're hurting her."

"She's not having her. She's not having my little girl Kurt, she's not."

"No, she's not honey," and he carefully takes her from his arms and passes her to Rachel before he wraps his arms around Blaine as tightly as he can.

"Hey Lola, would you like to sleep at Aunt Rachel's tonight? Zach would like that. Let's go and get some stuff together," Rachel says with forced cheerfulness as they walk away.

"You saw her?" Blaine asks as Kurt leads him to the couch.

"Yes."

"What does she want? I mean why? I can't...she said....she said she wasn't coming back. Why? Why the FUCK IS SHE BACK??" Blaine yells in exasperation causing Kurt to jump.

"I get that you're angry, but please don't yell or use that language while Lola is in the house."

"Fuck off," Blaine huffs, folding his arms and kicking at the bottom of the footstool.

"And don't you dare speak to me in that way either. I have fought so hard for us this afternoon, you have no idea. I am holding this together as best I can, but if you start on me I'll fall apart."

"Sorry," Blaine says after a while. "That was uncalled for. I just..."

"I know," Kurt says, falling into his lap and kissing him deeply. "I know." He twists the curls at the base of his neck as he rests his forehead against him. "We can talk in a little while, okay?"

"I want Lola here," Blaine says quietly, his eyes shut as he basks in the calming presence of his boyfriend.

"Not tonight. We need to talk. And as much as I love her, we can't do that properly if she's here. Let her go with Rach. She will be perfectly safe, Lisa doesn't even know where they live. And then, if you wanna yell or curse you can."

"Or have sex?"

"Ha! Later, if you like. You might be needing to relax in the tub."

"Okay. I heard talk of relaxing in tubs and I'm guessing where this conversation is headed, so I'm just gonna take my gorgeous niece home and bring her back to you guys in the morning, okay?" Rachel says, depositing Lola into Kurt's lap, smiling as the three exchange one warm hug and soft goodbye kisses.

"Daddy loves his cutie," Blaine says as he rubs his nose against Lola's.

"Love you daddy and papa," Lola says before hurling herself back at Rachel, excited at the prospect of a sleepover.

The door closes, and Kurt turns to Blaine, fully expecting a torrent of rage, but is faced with a cascade of tears instead.

"Oh Blaine...."

"I'm so scared. What if she tries to get her back? What do I do? I can't live without her, I just can't," Blaine sobs against Kurt's chest.

"Listen to me Blaine, that is not going to happen. You will hire the best damn lawyer there is if necessary. We won't lose her, okay?"

"What did she say to you? Did she say why she was back? I thought she was getting married again."

"I didn't see any evidence of a ring. She wasn't happy when I told her I was Lola's dad."

"You told her that?" Blaine asks, a small smile emerging through his tears.

"Of course I did. I told you I fought for us. She made her intentions clear, she wants you and Lola back, and is planning on using your parents to get what she wants."

"What? Why? When she brought Lola here, she was so cold and indifferent towards her. And as for me... She knew I wasn't interested."

"I think...there's a very real possibility that your parents have put her up to this. I'm not saying she hasn't realized that the grass isn't always greener, but I think that coupled with that, there may be some cash or other incentive on offer. It's just a feeling I get."

"You do know though, don't you, that it's not gonna happen? I'm not leaving you."

"I hope not," Kurt sniffs, his eyes overflowing with the tears he has been holding back for so long. "Because I don't think I could handle it, I really don't."

"Kurt listen to me," Blaine says taking his face in his hands. "I am not going anywhere. I am never, ever going to leave you. I love you, and I would feel the same about you with or without Lola. But as it is, I also want you to know that to me, there is no difference. You are as much her dad as I am. You came into her life only three weeks after me, and she has adored you ever since. She is our daughter, okay?"

"No...." Kurt sniffs again, turning in Blaine's lap to face him. "I'm not okay. I'm petrified."

"Oh baby," Blaine says raining kisses over Kurt's face, "I don't know what to say or do other than reassure you that we are together forever. I love you so much, and I love that you stood up to her and fought our corner when you didnt have to."

"I did."

"No, you didn't. You could have just walked away, told her where to find me and left it at that. But you didn't. You fought for us because you believe in us, and that makes me love you more than I ever thought possible. Jesus fucking Christ I just hate how she ruins everything," Blaine's tone turns angry as he grits his teeth.

"That's what she said about me."

"Bitch."

"Yeah, she called me that too."

"What?! Kurt I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you had to deal with this, it should have been me. She's my ex unfortunately."

"Yeah, I did alright with mine," Kurt laughs softly. "He's not quite as crazy."

"Ian? No, he's not. What do I do now though Kurt? Sit and wait, wondering if she's gonna turn up again?"

"No. I think you should call her and invite her over to talk about this in a calm and rational manner."

"You're out of your mind. Lisa doesn't know calm and rational."

"Think back to what you and I talked about, when I asked if Lisa had postpartum depression. It could well have been, and now it's suddenly hit her that she's apart from her daughter."

"You really think that?"

"To be honest, after seeing her, no. I doubt it. I think she's just an all out bitch. But I'm trying to be sympathetic to the situation."

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"Just call her Blaine. We won't be able to relax until we know what's what."


	28. Chapter 28

With some reluctance, Blaine sends a text to what he hopes is still Lisa’s number, giving his address and telling her to be there within the hour if she wants to talk. Twenty minutes later she arrives, eyes scanning the apartment as she walks into the living room.

"Nice set up," she comments to Blaine, not even having bothered to say hello. "Oh crap. What's he doing here?"

"Kurt lives here," Blaine says as he sits on the couch and takes his hand firmly in his, "and he's Lola's papa. He needs to be involved in this discussion."

"He does not."

"He does and he will be, or there will be no discussion."

"Ugh. Fine. Like anyone cares what he thinks anyway."

"I am in the room, you know," Kurt snaps.

"Look Lisa, just tell me why you're here. Did my parents contact you?"

"Kind of. Our parents were both at the golf club New Years ball. Our moms got talking."

"And what?" Blaine asks. "They bribed you into coming back? Is this my moms sick way of trying to turn me straight?"

"You mom hinted to mine that a reconciliation might be on the cards, fed her all this bull about you being lonely and miserable..... Well so am I."

"But I'm not lonely and miserable at all!" Blaine cries. "Far from it. I'm sorry if you are, but really that's not my fucking problem. You can't abandon a child and then decide six months later you want her back again, that's not how it works. And what the hell happened to getting married and moving to Dubai?"

"My sister married him."

"Ouch," Kurt says quietly.

"Yeah...whatever. Don't try and pretend like you're sympathetic. Blaine listen to me. I made a mistake, a huge mistake and I'm sorry if that's what you need to hear. I shouldn't have left Lola, and I think we should have worked harder at our marriage."

"I'm gay, Lisa."

"So? I'm not asking you to move back into my bed. We can both be discreet, hell you can even keep Kurt as your bit on the side if you really must. But together.....think about it Blaine. Your parents would be so proud. They can get us into the right social circles, invites to the best dinners and balls..."

"And what about Lola?"

"What about her?"

"If we're at all these dinner parties, who looks after her?"

"We hire a live in nanny."

"And you would be okay with having a gay husband as long as I was discreet, because of the social status I could give you?"

"Yes. But I'm not working, so don't even ask. I want a home in the Hamptons too, and I want you to move into stocks with your dad, stop this joke of a business you have with Cooper."

"I see," Blaine says calmly. "And right now.... You want to see Lola, or what?"

"Well I can see her on your wall. She's everywhere. You're obsessed."

"She's mine and Kurt's daughter. Most parents put pictures of their kids up. It's only parents like mine and yours that don't."

"She's a pretty girl."

"She's an angel," Blaine says fondly. "I may not have been that receptive when you left her, and my life has been completely turned upside down, but in the best way imaginable."

"Ugh. You're so sappy. Just...let me know what you want to do."

"I just want to make this totally clear. You want to get back together, but not in any physical way, right?"

"Yes."

"And I can carry on with Kurt as long as no one knows?"

"Yes."

"And Lola will have a live in nanny, the best money can hire?"

"Yes."

"Fuck off."

"What?"

"You heard!" Blaine suddenly roars, springing to his feet and towering over her, his face twisted with anger as he seethes at her. "You honestly think I would do that? Do you really think I could be that cruel and heartless? I love Kurt and Lola more than anything in existence. I am not like my parents, I won't shove my daughter at some hired help so I can move on in life. My joke of a business with Cooper earns me over five hundred thousand dollars a year. Kurt gives me all the love and support I could ever dream of and so much more besides. Why the hell are you even here, Lisa? It's not to see Lola. You know, Kurt tried to be magnanimous about this, tried to convince me that maybe, on some level you actually cared for her. But you don't. You're here for yourself only, because you seem to think you're entitled to a particular lifestyle."

"Yes I do!" Lisa screams, standing to face him, green eyes spitting fire and face contorted in rage. "Because I am sick of always being the one left behind Blaine. I missed out on fucking homecoming Queen by five votes, and it's been the story of my life ever since. Always trying to have the best, because I fucking deserve it, but never, ever getting it. First guy I marry, that bitch," she says pointing to Kurt, "turns him queer. Second guy, Jill steals. My own fucking sister! Don't tell me you don't want it too Blaine, the money, the social status, the approval of your parents....Jesus Christ would you look at the child?" she yells, gesturing to Lola's portrait, "Me and you...with that....we'd be the picture perfect family."

"Get the hell out of our home. Now." Blaine takes her roughly by the arm and marches her forcefully towards the door. "I don't want any of it. I couldn't care less how much money I have, or what my parents think about me. My only responsibility is to Kurt and Lola. As long as Kurt and I love each other and can provide Lola with love, security and a roof over her head then the rest of it can go to hell. I'm sorry- I really am- that you feel so hard done by, and that you have become so bitter and twisted as a result. You know, you weren't always like this. Forceful, yes. Demanding, sometimes. But you were also fun to be around, Lisa. You didn't have this hang up about entitlement and privilege that you seem to have now. I wouldn't have married you if you did. And although we never wanted kids, never in my whole life did I think you could be so callous and uncaring about any child, let alone one you gave birth to. You make me sick." Opening the front door, he starts to push her through it before Kurt calls out.

"Lisa! I...um...for what it's worth....I think maybe you should try and have some kind of relationship with Lola. At least keep in touch with us."

Shrugging out of Blaine's grip, Lisa takes one menacing step towards Kurt, her high heels clicking loudly on the wood floor.

"And why the hell would I want to do that? So you can gloat about your fabulous gay lifestyle? I don't think so. I hope the three of you are entirely miserable together." And with that, she is gone, slamming the door behind her and leaving Blaine to lean back heavily against the wall.

He closes his eyes, and suddenly Kurt is upon him, kissing him fiercely, as if his life depended upon it and Blaine responds just as desperately, fisting the back of Kurt's shirt in his hands as Kurt lifts him easily. Wrapping his legs tightly around Kurt's slim waist, Blaine moves his hands to Kurt’s hair, deepening the kiss and letting a soft groan escape as their tongues wind together.

"Don't you ever..." Kurt gets out between kisses, "tell yourself....Mmmm.....that you are weak.....again," attaching their lips again, he walks them backwards until Blaine is sitting on a small side table. Breaking off, he tilts Blaine's face so their eyes are locked on one another. "I love you Blaine. I have never loved you more than I do right now. I am just....overwhelmed....at how you defended us," he says, voice filled with sincerity as his eyes swim with unshed tears.

"Why wouldn't I? You are everything to me Kurt. But you were right. She is just a total bitch. I hope Lola won't grow up like that."

"She won't, because we won't let her. You haven't turned out like your parents."

"True."

"About Lola...." Kurt starts.

"Yes?"

"When did you give her a middle name?"

"You know about that? Well I haven't done it officially yet, only at daycare. But I asked them to amend her documents the day after Cooper sat for us, remember?"

"Not likely to forget, it took me a week to recover."

"Well anyway, that night, when she came home and you were both just being so cute and adorable together, it just came to me I guess, as something I'd like to do, for both of you. But it was supposed to be a surprise."

"It was certainly a surprise. Kat was throwing all these questions at Lisa to prove how little she knew about Lola, and she asked her middle name. It was a bit of a curve ball."

"Did you just make a baseball reference? Hot."

"Shut up you horny bastard," Kurt grins.

"Hmmm, always for you," Blaine says, tugging him to stand between his legs he begins to run his hands under Kurt's layers, finding the smooth skin he loves to touch.

"Anyway...I was trying to say thank you..." Kurt trails off, breath hitching as Blaine's strong hands dip below his waistband. “It’s....the....mmmm....sweetest thing....oh fuck it, let’s just get naked,” Kurt laughs against Blaine’s lips as they eagerly tear at each other’s clothes.

“Reckon you can hold me?” Blaine whispers darkly as he runs his tongue along Kurt’s neck.

“I’ll give it a damn good go.” He runs to the hall closet and fumbles in his bag, emerging with a triumphant grin and a small bottle of lube, groaning as he takes in the sight of Blaine standing stroking himself. “Fucking hell. I swear, each time you turn me on more and more.”

“Stop talking and get your cock in my ass,” Blaine says, snatching the lube from him and coating Kurt’s fingers for him. “Stretch me.”

Pushing his back roughly against the wall, Kurt hooks one of Blaine’s legs around his waist as he trails a finger down to his hole and pushes swiftly inside.Blaine works hard at Kurt’s neck, worrying the flesh between his teeth before running his tongue soothingly over the marks he’s created. All the while, Kurt opens him until he can fuck down onto three fingers with ease.

“You ready baby?” Kurt murmurs into his hair, already damp with their exertions.

“Yes...so ready.”

Kurt lifts him, one hand supporting his back and the other holding them against the wall as Blaine slides onto his slick cock. Arms wrapped tightly around Kurt’s neck, Blaine moves as best he can, moaning loudly as Kurt pushes him harder against the wall. His rigid cock is trapped between them, the friction building in the most delicious way as Kurt snaps his hips back and forth, his breath coming in short bursts as he struggles to hold them both in place.

“So...fucking....hot...” Kurt gets out.

“Fuck me harder Kurt!” Blaine yells, all thoughts of neighbors and them being right near the front door forgotten as Kurt pounds his ass mercilessly. Sweat pours down both their chests as Kurt presses his forehead to Blaine’s and leans in for a sloppy kiss, tongues rolling together as Blaine growls low in his throat. “Take me Kurt...go on. I want....I want you to come in my ass....and then eat it out of me....go on Kurt...please,” Blaine babbles on and on until Kurt feels his orgasm hitting him like a freight train and he spills into Blaine so hard that his knees give out and he falls to the floor, wasting no time in turning Blaine around and pinning him against the wall.

 

“You’re fucking filthy,” Kurt whispers against one ass cheek, which he bites hard. Wrapping one hand around Blaine’s already leaking cock, he grips his ass tightly with the other as he kneels behind him as laps eagerly at his hole, stretched wide and dripping with his own come.

“Holy shit!” Blaine cries, his hole clenching tightly around Kurt’s tongue as he comes hard, pressing his forehead against the wall as his whole body shudders and jerks. Suddenly Kurt’s face is gone, and it reappears next to him, pulling him in for one final, searing kiss as his mouth fills with Kurt’s come. "Oh my god," Blaine moans weakly, his face and trembling body still pressed against the wall, unable to move.

"I like it when you're forceful."

"You don't say? We needed that." Blaine groans.

"We did."

"So what now?"

"Now, we clean up and get dinner. It's already getting late."

"Kurt....can we still 'relax' in the tub later?"

"Of course."

Blaine's phone buzzes just as they're sitting down to dinner, Kurt raises one eyebrow as he excuses himself to take the call.

"Burt?" he whispers, closing the playroom door tightly behind him.

"Rachel called. You okay?"

"Yeah....actually I think we are. I don't think Lisa is gonna be any kind of presence in our lives. She hasn't got any interest in Lola, and none in me either- only my money and my parents social status."

"You still gonna go ahead tomorrow?"

"Yes. I'm not going to let her ruin my plans. And seriously Burt, I've nearly proposed about six times today already, but I have to keep holding back because I want it to be perfect."

"It will be. Listen. When Kurt has gone to bed, pack Lola's stuff and take it down to George. Text Cooper and he'll come and collect it. George will also give you the key."

"It's here?" Blaine asks excitedly.

"It is. Okay. I'm gonna go. Good luck son. See you on the other side."

"Who was that?" Kurt asks as a flushed Blaine returns to his seat.

"Work."

"So...Cooper."

"No...um...someone in the office."

"It's nearly nine. It must have been important, and you don't usually answer calls in the middle of dinner."

"Yes. It was," Blaine replies brusquely, and unable to think of what else to say, picks up his knife and fork and begins to eat.

Kurt is silent for a moment, taking a mouthful of wine and setting his glass down softly, deciding not to pass comment on Blaine's strange behaviour given all he's gone through today. "So....what are the plans for tomorrow then?"

"Nothing to worry about. But we're going out. Early."

"Are you going to tell me where? And does Rachel know we'll be collecting Lola early? And what time is early, anyway?"

"Oh for the love of God Kurt! Be quiet."

"Wow." A shocked Kurt leans back in his chair, pushing his dinner around with his fork sullenly.

"No...I'm sorry. I just...today has been very stressful, that's all. And I want tomorrow to be perfect, okay? So please, no questions."

"Okay," Kurt says quietly. "Want me to run the bath?"

"You don't have to do that."

"Let me," Kurt says, leaving his place to sit in Blaine's lap. "I don't like you stressed and on edge."

"Sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," Kurt says kindly. "It's okay."

"No it's not. It's not just me who's had a stressful day, you have too."

"You can give me a massage then," Kurt says before kissing him gently. "I think you, naked, straddling my thighs and rubbing oil into me might be just the thing to help me unwind."

Blaine lets out a noise that is somewhere between a whimper and a strangled moan and the rest of their dinner stands abandoned as they hurry to the bedroom.

"Are your legs okay?" Kurt asks later as he pushes into Blaine's still stretched hole.

"Yes, they're becoming intimately acquainted with my ears, but that's good cause my ass wants to become intimately acquainted with your cock."

"Shit this feels good," Kurt moans as he slides in and out slowly. The only sounds come from the water sloshing against the sides of the tub as their gentle lovemaking continues. Eyes locked, Kurt offers Blaine the most heart achingly sweet smile of pure love, both their eyes swimming with tears.

Hooking his legs over Kurt's shoulders, Blaine smiles in return. "I love you Kurt."

"I love you too. You're good for relieving my tension," he adds with a wink.

They move together slowly, soft whimpers and moans filling the air until Blaine starts to tense beneath him, and Kurt takes him in hand and strokes him through his orgasm at the same time as his. Afterwards, they step from the water and wrap together in one enormous towel, exchanging soft Eskimo kisses.

"So you're okay?" Kurt asks, for the umpteenth time as they finally settle into bed.

"Yes. And I don't even think I feel bad for Lola, because I don't want a person like that in her life."

"You're right. And you know, today has been horrible," Kurt says, rolling in Blaine's arms so he can cup his face tenderly, "but I have had the most perfect evening with you."

Kissing the tip of his nose gently, Blaine smiles his agreement before flipping the light. "Me too. Now get some sleep, you'll need it."

 **  
**Kurt snuggles further into his embrace, closing his eyes and sighing contentedly. Blaine grins at the ceiling, and knows from the butterflies already building that for him, sleep will remain elusive tonight.


	29. Chapter 29

"Good morning my beautiful boyfriend," Blaine beams as he kisses all over Kurt's chest.

"Oh my God what time is it?" Kurt asks, rubbing at his eyes and pushing Blaine away with a hint of irritation as he sits.

"Six. But I have coffee."

"So this is what you meant by early."

"It is. And I want to leave in about half an hour."

"Blaine really...is this necessary?" Kurt moans as he pads to the bathroom.

"Yes!" he calls back and falls back onto the bed with a grin. He waits until he hears the shower start to run before he sprints to the closet, grabs their suitcases and suit carriers and runs downstairs, skidding back through the door just in time.

"Where have you been?" Kurt asks on his way to the kitchen, towel slung low around his hips.

"Nowhere. I thought I heard a noise in the hall."

"Uh-huh. And did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Hear a noise, doofus." Kurt says with a smile as he returns holding his second cup of coffee.

"Oh. No. Now go put some clothes on before I bend you over."

"Come and get it, lover," Kurt calls over his shoulder as he saunters back to the bedroom, dropping his towel on the way.

"I can't...we need to go," Blaine groans, and even as he's speaking he can feel a tightening in his pants resulting from the quick glance at Kurt's butt.

"Just a quickie..." comes the reply.

They eventually leave the apartment just before seven, but Blaine is too excited to be annoyed at the disruption to his schedule, and the frantic sex that had Kurt giggling into the bed like a schoolgirl seems to have lifted his mood too. He links his arm through Blaine's as they ride the elevator, dropping a kiss into his hair. "Do I get to know where we're going yet?"

"No."

"Tease."

"Okay," Blaine says once they're outside, "I'm still not telling you where we're going, but I have a gift for you." He tugs him into the underground parking lot and stops. "Watch," he whispers with a brief kiss to Kurt's partially opened lips. Key hidden firmly in his pocket, Blaine presses, watching Kurt's face as the Aston Martin lights up and unlocks itself.

"Blaineeeee!!" Kurt screams, running towards the car. "It's our James Bond car! You got the car! You got the car! You got..."

"The car, I know!" Blaine cries happily, picking Kurt up and twirling him around with ease. "As much a gift for me as you I guess, but she's yours for the first outing," he says, dropping the key into Kurt's coat pocket.

"But why? Why have you bought it now?"

"Well...I kind of decided on it at Christmas, but your dad had to get it imported because I wanted it to be exactly the same as the one we had in France."

"You bought it through dad?"

"Yeah...a car like this carries a lot of commission. I'm not gonna pay that to a random garage when it can go to your dad."

"He would have done you a deal."

"He tried, but then he found out that I can be quite stubborn when I want to be. Come on, get in," Blaine says, holding the door open and gesturing for Kurt to get inside.

Kurt can't help but squeal and kick his feet once he gets behind the wheel, almost bouncing in his seat when Blaine gets in next to him. "I love it!" he squeaks, "And I love you!"

"Good!" Blaine laughs loudly. "Okay, follow this," he says, switching the in car Sat Nav on. "It's a long drive, but we'll break for lunch and then switch."

"I like switching," Kurt comments as he starts the engine.

"Really? I hadn't noticed." They both lean across at the same time, joining in a kiss which holds the promise of more and leaves them both breathless.

"Would you be completely adverse to christening the car?" Kurt asks, unwilling to take his hand from the back of Blaine's neck.

"Not at all...but not right now. We need to be somewhere."

"Yes. Rachel's."

"No. We're not getting Lola. This is just us."

"What? Kurt asks as he pulls out onto the street.

"She's with Cooper....for the weekend."

"We're going away? But it's her birthday on Sunday!"

"We'll see her on Sunday."

"What about my clothes?"

"Just drive, Kurt."

"You're infuriating."

"I know."

They stop for early lunch at a roadside diner then trade places, enjoying the closeness a long journey brings, not even bothering with any music as conversation and jokes flow easily between them, but another couple of hours and Blaine is becoming restless. His fingers drum an impatient pattern on the steering wheel, and he nearly jumps out of his skin when his phone buzzes with a text.

"No!" he yells as Kurt picks up the phone. "Don't read my messages!" Snatching the phone from his hand, he tucks it between his legs and begins to look for a rest stop.

"What?" an incredulous Kurt yells back. "Since when has me reading your messages been a problem?"

"Please!" Blaine begs. "Just please."

"Whatever," Kurt snaps, turning to face out the window, leaving Blaine to bite his lip and mumble an apology.

He pulls over and reads the text, growling in frustration as he taps out a response to Cooper.

_Dude. I know you're busy an' all, but I don't understand this dress. Do the buttons go at the front, or the back? And there are panties with it. Where do they go? Over the diaper, or under? They're very frilly._

__

**Buttons at the back, and the panties go over the tights.**

_Over the tights?!_

__

**Yes**.

_Dude. Wow. Over the tights. Makes no sense to me. Anyway, how goes it?_

**Terrible. He likes the car, but he's not speaking to me because I yelled.**

_Moron._

**Don't start.**

_Seriously, it will all work out fine. Good luck bro. Love you. P.S- Lola seems dubious about the whole over the tights thing too._

Pulling back out onto the highway, Blaine reaches across to squeeze Kurt's knee gently. "I really am sorry. I shouldn't have yelled."

"It's not the yelling, it's all the secrecy."

"I'm trying to surprise you Kurt! I'm sorry if I'm jumpy or on edge but I just want this to be perfect."

"Okay, okay. I just...hate surprises."

"Because it's something you can't control, I get it. But I want you to like this one."

"Are you mad at me?" Kurt asks in a timid voice, suddenly worried that he's hurt Blaine's feelings.

"Don't be silly. I love you. Now why don't you try and get some sleep? It's either that or I'll have to blindfold you so you don't see the road signs."

"I could use a nap I guess."

Mercifully, Kurt sleeps for a long time, and although Blaine doesn't really like being left alone with his thoughts, he does at least manage to arrive at the small rest station before it gets too dark. He fires off a quick text to Cooper, smiling when he gets reassurance that Lola is fine, before he gently wakes his sleeping boyfriend.

"Kurt, honey? You need to wake up now."

"Where the hell are we?" Kurt asks as he peers into the semi gloom, trying to decipher any road sign but finding none visible.

"Almost there. We just need to change." Blaine runs around to the trunk and returns, offering a suit carrier to Kurt.

"Oh God, changing in the car again?"

"Yes. Come on, it'll be fun. And you can run in the truck stop to fix your hair," Blaine says as he slides into the back seat.

"The last time we changed it was the middle of summer, now it's the middle of winter. Too many layers," Kurt grumbles.

"It's usually me making that complaint."

They change quickly, Kurt desperately trying to find out why he's wearing a tux, and asking multiple questions as they trail to the bathroom and back again.

"I'm still not saying anything. But you need to wear this now," Blaine says as he holds out a scarf, "until we get there."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"No, I'm not. And if you don't do it, or if you peek, then I'll cry. And you wouldn't want that on your conscience now, would you?"

"Goofball," Kurt says fondly, and allows Blaine to blindfold him. Touched by the trust he has placed in him, Blaine repeatedly asks after his welfare for the rest of the drive.

"I told you, I'm fine. Are we there yet?"

"Actually, yes," Blaine says and Kurt hears the sound of the car tires coming to a halt on some gravel.

"Blaine, are you okay? You're breathing all weird."

"Yes...yes...no. Yes. No. I don't know. Lets just...okay," he mumbles, leaving Kurt sat in utter confusion as he waits for his door to be opened.

"Seriously Blaine, you're worrying me. Is something wrong?" Kurt persists as they begin to walk, Blaine guiding him by his arm.

"Wrong? No. Just....yeah. You know."

"No, I don't know." Kurt hears the sound of a door being opened, and their footsteps echoing as they walk further along.

"Okay. Steps." Blaine guides him up one by one, eventually stopping and turning Kurt around. "Right. Whatever you do, please don't take the blindfold off until I tell you, okay?"

"Why, where are you going? Blaine? Blaine!" But Kurt only receives a light kiss to his lips and then he hears the sound of Blaine's hastily retreating footsteps, followed by a silence that seems to stretch for eternity.

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice comes eventually into his blackness, making him startle.

"Yes?" he calls back hesitantly, confused, disoriented and unable to tell where Blaine's voice is coming from.

"Please take off your blindfold."

"What the...," Kurt whispers as he takes in his surroundings. He is standing on the Dalton staircase, on exactly the same step he had been on almost fourteen years previous when he first saw Blaine. This time, the hallway is in near darkness, the only light coming from large pillar candles. He is so busy looking around that he doesn't immediately spot the figure at the bottom of the staircase, but his hand flies to cover his mouth as he sees Blaine, down on one knee with Lola sat on the other, looking resplendent in a white dress with flowers in her hair and holding a ring box.

"Oh my God."

"Kurt. Fourteen years ago I fell in love with a boy on this staircase,” Blaine starts, voice cracking as his tears begin to fall.  “Today I am lucky enough to share my life with the exceptional man you have become, and we have been gifted with the most wonderful daughter to cherish and raise together. I love you so much..... My Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?"

Lola offers the ring box towards Kurt silently, their identical faces shining as tears fall down Blaine's cheeks. Slowly, Kurt walks down the remaining stairs until he's only one above him.

"Yes," he says, sobbing as he does so. "Yes, yes, a million times yes!"

"Yes!" Lola shouts as she is scooped up and thrown in the air by a triumphant Blaine, before she is squished between her dads as they kiss passionately on the staircase.

"Oh...the ring..." Blaine breaks away, remembering. "Here..." He slides it onto Kurt's finger and they both stand admiring the exquisite piece of jewellery. It is a black onyx band, with two thin bands of platinum running around the top and bottom, and three diamonds set across the middle. "One for each of us," Blaine whispers as he sees Kurt looking at them, "with room to add more if we wish."

"Blaine....I....just...."

"Surprised?"

"Amazed. And how did my favorite girl get here, huh?" Kurt asks as he bounces her on his hip.

"Cooper flew in with her this morning."

"Blaine...are you sure? You always said you wouldn't marry again."

"I also said I didn't want kids. People talk a lot of crap when they haven't found the one. I don't want anyone else, ever. I want to be with you Come What May, til death us do part. And I want us to be the Anderson-Hummels. Together."

"Perfect," Kurt says, raining kisses over his face. "Perfect."

"And there is another thing," Blaine says, worrying his lip between his teeth.

"Oh?"

"I'd like you to formally adopt Lola, so you have as many legal rights as I do."

“Seriously?”

“If you...”

“Yes! If you’re gonna start with the whole ‘you don’t have to’ thing, you can be quiet right now. I want nothing more. Holy shit I can’t believe this is happening! It’s actually real!” Setting Lola down to explore, he pulls Blaine towards him again by his lapels, crashing their lips together and stumbling slightly as he drops down a step.

“You’re my Kurt, and my fiance,” Blaine says, grinning against his lips and keeping his eyes closed in blissful contentment. “We’re gonna get married.”

“I love you so much Blaine.”

“Best friends?”

“Always.”

They stand, hands intertwined and staring into each others eyes, endless smiles of happiness playing on their faces until they’re interrupted.

“Can we come in now, or what?”

“Is that Cooper?” Kurt asks, raising one eyebrow.

“Yes. They’re shut in the library.”

“They?”

“The whole damn family is here Kurt. I asked your dad’s permission on Christmas eve, and have been arranging things ever since. I wanted it to be perfect.”

“It couldn’t get any better,” Kurt smiles. “I knew you were romantic but...”

“I’m not that great at it really.”

“Are you kidding me? You bring me flowers just because. You leave little notes inside the kitchen cabinets to remind me that you love me. You text me throughout the day to tell me you’re thinking of me. You buy me cheesecake and feed it to me when you know I’ve had a rough day. Blaine...you are amazing, and you have just proposed to me in the best way possible. It’s everything I could have dreamed of and so much more besides. Now let’s get the rest of the rabble in and celebrate.”

Blaine flings open the door, and the beaming fiances are greeted with warm hugs and kisses, and much squealing over Kurt’s ring.

“Congratulations son,” Burt says as he hugs Blaine tightly. “I’m so happy for you both.”

“Thank you,” Blaine whispers as he stares at the floor, too overcome to do anything else.

“And you,” Burt continues, turning to Kurt. “My boy.” Holding him close, Burt whispers in his ear, “I always knew.”

“I’ll bet you did.”

“Everything you dreamed of, yes?”

“Yes. I love you dad.”

“Love you too. Now, Blaine ordered me to have champagne on ice, so let’s get home.”

* * *

“Are you sure it’s okay that we’re staying here?” Blaine asks again as he falls onto the couch besides an equally as giddy Kurt.

“Yes, I told you.”

“I will take you away, I promise. But I just thought...family is where it’s at y’know?”

“Totally. Are you drunk?”

“A little. More drunk on feelings than anything.”

“Me too, I feel very lightheaded.”

“Why don’t we sneak the rest of this bottle up to our room?” Blaine asks as his hand begins to trail up the inside of Kurt’s thigh.

“Because Lola is asleep in there.”

“No she’s not. I told you, she’s with Cooper for the weekend. Don’t think I’m not having sex with my fiance tonight.”

Kurt turns his face into Blaine’s shoulder, trying but failing to suppress a giddy laugh. “Say it again.”

“What? Fiance? Sex? Sex with my fiance?”

“Let’s go.” Grabbing the champagne in one hand and Blaine in the other, they run from the room- thinking they’re being discreet as they trip and stumble up the stairs together.

“O-kay,” Finn says with a shake of his head. “Looks like we’re all staying up a while longer. Movie, anyone?”

* * *

“So...any preferences?” Kurt asks, pushing Blaine’s chest into the bed as he pulls his ass towards him.

“No,” comes the muffled response, “Just you. Always, just you.”

“I meant about the wedding venue.”

“What?” Blaine laughs, looking over his shoulder. “Seriously Kurt, you wanna discuss this now?”

“It’s just....I have a binder.”

“I’m sure you do. And I have an ass that needs fucking. We can talk about it after.”

“All night?”

“In between sex...yes.”

They lie together afterwards, chests heaving, fingers clasped and smiling at one another. “Sooo....any preferences?” Kurt tries again.

“No. I am happy to leave the entire thing up to you if that’s what you want.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Kurt replies, clapping his hands excitedly.

“I have three stipulations though.”

“Okay. Shoot.”

“Lola is our flowergirl.”

“Of course, that goes without saying.”

“Our first dance is to Come What May.”

“Only if I can be Nicole.”

“Well, you’re much more beautiful, but okay. And third, I organize the honeymoon, and I reserve the right to keep it a total surprise.”

“Given how much I enjoyed this surprise....I’m gonna say yes.”

 


	30. Chapter 30

"Is it weird if I ask my dad to give me away? Does that make me the girl? Will people think that?"

"Who cares? If that's what you want then go for it. You're all man to me baby," Blaine growls as he pulls Kurt towards him and kisses his cheek.

"Behave," Kurt says as he carries on pushing the cart. He's been keeping up an entire monologue for the duration of their grocery shop, throwing occasional questions Blaine's way which require a brief answer, but mostly it's just been him musing out loud and trying to stop Blaine from feeding Lola Cheerios from the packet. "And what about Lola? Does she follow me down the aisle? Do I even walk down an aisle? Or does she stay with you?"

"Whatever you want."

"Stop saying that and help me make a decision," Kurt says with mild irritation.

"Maybe....and this is just a suggestion....maybe we should actually decide on a date and venue first before discussing the finer points of the ceremony?"

"You're right. Of course." Stopping the cart in the middle of the store, he chews on his bottom lip thoughtfully as Blaine wanders about. "Do you have any ideas? Blaine? Blaine, what are you doing?"

"Sorry," Blaine says meekly, returning to Kurt's side.

"That's someone's baby. Stop pulling faces at it."

"I was only trying to make her laugh."

"Well humor me instead. Any ideas about a venue?"

"Um...Four Seasons?"

"Blaine if that was meant as a joke it's not funny," Kurt snaps.

"It wasn't. You were going to get married there last time."

"Precisely."

"So what's changed?"

"One of the grooms for a start! Oh for Gods sake, will you leave that baby alone. Honestly Lola, daddy is a bigger kid than you sometimes."

"Daddy big kid!" Lola laughs, squealing when Blaine starts to tickle her.

Huffing loudly, Kurt moves swiftly around the remaining aisles, grabbing the things they need and hurling them into the cart. Blaine follows quietly, knowing he's pushed too far, and trying to offer a small smile Kurt's way, which he ignores.

"Kurt?" he asks quietly once they're in the checkout queue.

"What?"

"Don't be mad," he whispers, wrapping his arms around his waist and standing slightly on tiptoe to hook his chin over Kurt's shoulder. "Kurt....."

"Yes?" Kurt sighs.

"I want another baby."

Kurt tenses immediately, becoming rigid in Blaine's arms.

"Kurt? Did you hear me? I said..."

"I heard," Kurt cuts him off quickly, and Blaine notices he looks almost wistful as he tucks a stray curl behind Lola's ear. "I just don't wish to have this discussion in the checkout line."

"When, then?"

"Another time."

Another time would be never at all if Kurt had his own way, but Blaine is persistent and two weeks later Kurt finally caves after Lola has gone to sleep one evening.

"Fine," he sighs, falling onto the couch and reaching for his wine, "we'll discuss it if you really want."

Blaine suddenly finds panic welling up inside of him as he fumbles for words, and eventually the best he can come up with is: "Don't you want to?"

"It's not that Blaine, but you never wanted kids at all. You were quite adamant about it, and I just don't want you making a spur of the moment decision because you happen to see a cute baby in the supermarket."

"Is that what you think?" Blaine asks, his voice small and the hurt etched clearly on his face. "A person can change their mind about things. We got engaged two months ago Kurt, and I told you then, I had room left on the ring to add more diamonds. I did it for a reason."

"Isn't Lola enough for you?"

"What? That's an absurd question. Of course she is. More than enough, but it's not about that. There's not a gap in my life or anything, it's just... I can't explain. I would just really like to do the whole baby thing. I'd like for her to have a brother or sister, and I'd like you to have the chance to have a biological child. In short, I want a blue eyed one."

"Blaine," Kurt turns, setting his wine down and taking his hands, "I am going to be honest with you now. I always wanted two or three kids, maybe even more. But now I'm not so sure that I do. Lola is everything, and I feel like I would be doing her a disservice to bring another child into our lives. It would take the focus away from her, and I wouldn't want her- when she grows up- to think that I didn't love her enough, that I still felt the need to have my own baby as it were. I think that's my problem with the whole thing to be honest, that I would be scared of hurting her."

"Is that the only thing holding you back?"

"Yes," Kurt nods, staring at the couch.

"I really think that...if we did this now then Lola would be...what? Nearly three by the time a baby arrives? I don’t think she would realistically start asking questions until she’s older, and by that time she wouldn’t even remember a time when there wasn’t another child in the family. But it’s up to you. If you don’t want to then we won’t. I understand. I just know how important my brother has been in my life, and how much Finn means to you, even though you didn’t gain him until you were older.”

“Can I think about it?”

“Of course,” Blaine says leaning over and kissing him tenderly. “And just so you know...if you think about it and still decide no, then that’s okay. I would rather you were honest with me.”

“You won’t go anywhere, will you? If I decide this isn’t right?”

“Absolutely not. Never...” he says kissing him firmly on the lips. “Ever. In fact, let’s discuss this again after the wedding. Right now, we’re gonna organize the biggest and best wedding New York has ever seen, and I promise to try and be more helpful.”

“Okay,” Kurt says, leaping up excitedly , running to the office and returning a few moments later with an enormous binder. “Now, some of this stuff may seem a bit extravagant, but just go with it. The date I have in mind is June twenty first, because it’s the first day of summer. I’ve designed a couple outfits for Lola,” he says, passing the binder carefully to Blaine, “I don’t know if you have a particular color scheme you want to go with, but I was thinking aquamarine.”

“Um...this isn’t a couple of outfits, there’s like seven different designs.”

“I know. Which one do you like?”

“Erm...this one?” Blaine says, blindly pointing to an off white dress with bright aquamarine sash.

“Me too, but I’ll let her decide.”

“Why have you chosen this color?”

Kurt blushes pink and fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “It reminds me of the sea, and our first kiss.”

Blaine beams and pushing the binder to the floor and ignoring Kurt’s indignant face, pushes him back into the couch. “And that’s why I’m marrying you,” he whispers as he leans in for a kiss.

“The only reason?”

“This as well,” he answers as his hands move to Kurt’s zipper and all thoughts of wedding planning are forgotten.

* * *

“We’re home!” Blaine calls loudly one random weekday a month later. Kicking his shoes off and loosening his tie, he sets Lola on her feet with a kiss. “Go find papa. He’s probably cooking dinner,” he says as he sets about hanging her jacket up in the hall closet. Suddenly he hears small, hurried footsteps again and turns to find Lola looking at him with wide eyes. “What’s wrong cutie?” he asks, crouching down to her level with a worried expression.

“Man in there,” Lola says pointing towards the kitchen.

“Papa?”

“No. More man.”

“Oh God he’s hired a wedding planner,” Blaine mumbles to himself as he takes Lola’s hand and leads her to the kitchen, stopping short as he sees his dad sitting on a stool, mug of coffee in hand and chatting with Kurt. “What the...”

“Hello Blaine,” Donald says formally, standing to shake his bewildered sons hand. “Um...hello Lola.”

Behind him, Kurt snaps his head up and stares at Blaine with wide eyes, who tries to extract Lola from behind his legs.

“She...uh...she can be a bit shy around...um...people she doesn’t know.” Blaine stammers.

“Strangers,” Donald says simply.

“Yes.”

“Blaine, honey, your dad called by to talk with you about something, and I’ve invited him to stay for dinner. I hope that’s okay?” Kurt asks, dropping a kiss to his cheek which makes Donald flinch, but he stays silent.

“I guess so. What do you want?” Blaine says boldly as he sits on the opposite stool and hoists Lola onto the counter.

“I hear congratulations are in order,” Donald offers, trying but failing to gain eye contact with his son.

“Yes. Thank you. Where’s mom?”

“Oh she uh...she’s at a benefit. She doesn’t actually know that I’m here.”

“So why are you?”

“Because...because I have a granddaughter that I know nothing about and worse, I have two sons and I play no part in their lives at all.”

“Your choice,” Blaine points out.

“I know,” Donald says sadly. An awkward silence ensues as Blaine watches Kurt move around the kitchen. Eventually Donald clears his throat. “So...uh...Lola. How old are you?”

“Two,” Lola mumbles into Blaine’s chest as she tries to hide inside his jacket.

“I see. And uh...what are your favorite things?”

“Daddy an’ papa.”

Donald laughs, a genuine, heartfelt laugh and Blaine can’t help but smile, proud of his beautiful little girl.

“Lola, you have lots of things you like. Where’s Lily?” Kurt asks her, and she holds the doll out towards Donald with a shy smile.

“Is this your doll?” he asks and Lola nods. “I bet you have a lot of toys. Do you want to show me?” Donald asks, silently asking Blaine’s permission, who nods and Lola takes him by the hand and leads him towards the playroom.  

“Ugh,” is the only sound Blaine emits as his head thumps down on the counter.

“Hey...come on,” Kurt moves to him and rubs his shoulders, trying to ease away some of the tension.

“Why?” comes a muffled question and Kurt plays with his curls as he ponders his answer.

“Maybe he feels bad about what happened with Lisa. Or maybe he just had time to think and realize where he’s been going wrong. I don’t know. But the important thing is that he’s here, and he’s trying.”

“He’s very trying,” Blaine says, lifting his head. Opening his legs for Kurt to slot between he lowers his voice to a whisper. “I had plans for tonight. Plans that involved nakedness.”

“All your plans involve nakedness Blaine. And we’ll have time later. But right now you are going to make an effort to get along and make conversation. At Christmas you said you would always be here, waiting, and that you’d never shut them out. Now prove you meant it.”

"Okay, I'll try."

"That's all I ask. And then tonight I promise we'll get very naked and very, very dirty," Kurt whispers before he kisses him passionately- then gets interrupted by a throat clearing in the kitchen doorway.

"Sorry," a red faced Donald says, not sure where to look, especially since Blaine's hands are currently placed on Kurt's butt.

"No, it's okay. Come in," Kurt says with a warm smile. "Dinner is nearly ready. Blaine, can you and Lola go wash up please?"

Blaine hops from his stool and goes in search of the little girl and Kurt tries to make Donald useful by asking him to open the wine.

"You okay?"

"Who, me?" Donald asks, looking around.

"Well....yeah. There isn't anyone else in the room."

"Oh. Sorry. I'm not used to being asked that I guess. Yes, I'm okay thank you."

"Uh-huh, and how are you really?" Kurt asks as he sets three glasses down on the table.

"Terrified."

Kurt nods, unsure how to answer and starts piling pasta onto plates instead.

"Your uh...your little girl is quite something," Donald says hesitantly.

"Yes she is," Kurt can't help but grin broadly. "And thank you, for acknowledging that she is mine."

"Will you have more?"

"I don't know. Blaine wants to."

"And you?" Donald asks as he surveys him over the top of his wine glass.

"I'm not so sure."

"Blaine's changed," Donald points out.

"Yes he has."

"Since being with you, I think. He's become more confident. More complete I guess."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Kurt says with a small smile just as Blaine and Lola enter the room. "Okay. Dinner."

To Blaine's surprise, dinner isn't nearly as awkward as expected. He enquires politely as to his parents whereabouts since Christmas, and actually finds he doesn't need to feign interest when he relays stories from their trip to Egypt.

"So you're retired now, or what?"

"Goodness yes," Donald laughs. "I have been for over a year."

"Well I wouldn't know."

"No. I guess not," he says setting his glass down quietly. "I still keep my hand in, when I'm in town I go into the office once a week or so, but I haven't been back on the floor. I see your ex has found himself a new beau," he comments to Kurt.

"Ian? Yes he has. We had them round to dinner a couple of weeks ago actually. They're great together."

"Just..." Donald starts hesitantly, then pauses and reaches out absent mindedly to play with one of Lola's ringlets. "Just so you know....I really don't have anything against gay people."

"You've got a funny way of showing it." Blaine says, then winces at the sharp kick Kurt delivers to his shin under the table.

"Blaine, the first gay person I met was Kurt. The second were the Berrys. It's an anomaly to me. I can't pretend to understand because I've never been raised to think that it was acceptable, but I am trying. And I won't hate another person because of who they love. If this is who you are then.... Well....I don't want to change that."

"For what it's worth, I do appreciate that you have always accepted me, and never minded Blaine being friends with me. But some of your comments at Christmas hurt. Not only me and Blaine, but our family too," Kurt says as he reaches for Blaine's hand.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I guess sometimes the fear of the unknown makes us react in the most defensive way possible. To be suddenly presented with my quiet, studious son telling me he's now gay and a father was quite a lot to handle. When Blaine and Lisa divorced I was upset. But not for them. I was upset because I felt I had lost face. I felt like people would be gossiping about us. It's okay to have one loose cannon like Cooper, people can smile fondly and dismiss it with a shake of the head because the other son is such a picture of responsibility- a fine, upstanding young man with a good job and a beautiful wife. But at Christmas...I don't know. I felt it all slipping away from me, so I started throwing slurs, and I shouldn't have done. But Blaine's words stayed with me, and I just hoped that you really would be here, waiting."

"Told you," Kurt mouths to Blaine as he clears the table.

"Dad... This is all....great, but what changed? Lisa appeared just after the holidays, and said that mom had hinted to her that I might be interested in getting back together, which you knew wasn't true."

"I can't speak for your mom, though I think what she did was wrong.... But she is her own person and doesn't always act in the most appropriate manner. But as for me.... You should know that Hiram and Leroy Berry paid us a visit the last time we were in Ohio."

"Oh," Blaine sits upright, ready to listen.

"I don't want that to be us, Blaine. I don't want to die having not seen my boys in so long, and I don't want to sit at home, or walk the golf course wondering how big Lola has gotten, if she's in school, if there are others....Are you crying?" he asks, his voice filling with panic as he whirls around in his chair to try and locate Kurt.

"I don't... I don't want you to die," Blaine says, voice breaking into a sob at the end as he hides his face in his hands. "I'm... I'm sorry...I'll stop," he heaves, grinding his fists into his eyes like a child. Kurt rushes to his side, pulling him into a tight embrace and whispering soothing words into his hair.

"Um...I think I'll just...." Donald says, standing and gesturing vaguely to the door.

"No stay," Kurt says kindly. "Lets go into the living room."

"I just... I'm not very good with....um.....emotions" Donald says awkwardly.

"No I'm okay," Blaine says sniffing slightly as he stands. "It just got a bit much. Sorry."

"No need to apologize. And for what it's worth, I'm not planning on dying anytime soon," his dad says as they walk through to the living room, and then surprises everyone, even himself, by clapping an arm around Blaine's shoulders. "So... You gonna fill me in on these wedding plans?"

"Uh...sure. What do you want to know?"

"Date? Venue?"

"June twenty first. We wanted the boathouse, because that's where we went for our first lunch with Lola, but it was booked. So it's at Gotham Hall instead."

"Nice."

"Still would have preferred the boathouse," Blaine says quietly. "We wanted somewhere that actually meant something, but yes, the hall is beautiful. Um...you could come...if you wanted."

"I would....but we're in Monaco again, on the yacht."

"Oh," Blaine says, face falling.

"You could have the yacht for honeymoon if you want?"

"No, I've sorted that already. But thank you."

The awkward silence that follows is broken by the thunderous arrival of Lola, wheeling a tea trolley laden down with plastic cups and saucers.

"Tea for you..." she says brightly, handing Donald a cup.

"Why thank you miss," he chuckles as he ruffles her curls.

"And cake."

"Do you like cake?"

"Yes."

"I know a great little place that does the best afternoon tea. Maybe we could go sometime, if your dads say that's okay?" he asks, looking hopefully to Blaine.

"Uh...maybe. Yeah."

"I think that sounds like something Lola would really enjoy," Kurt says, laughing fondly at Lola now jumping around and shouting 'cake' as loudly as possible.

"Dad....are you going to tell mom you've been here?" Blaine asks nervously.

"Goodness yes. I didn't tell her I was planning on it because I wasn't sure how it would go, but I think...eventually....she will come around to all this."

"And you?"

"I can only be who I am, Blaine. I'm never going to be as warm and welcoming as Burt. He's not afraid to show his emotions, to hug and kiss his children....and I admire him for it. But I want to have some kind of relationship with you- all of you- and I include Cooper in that too. Your mom and I enjoy travelling, you know that, and I've worked hard to give us that lifestyle. But I think that we need to make more of an effort to visit New York, or spend time with you on holidays maybe. I can't promise I'll be perfect, but I will try."

"I'd like that," Blaine says with a watery smile as he blinks back tears again. "And I think Lola would too."

"I'll be in touch then," Donald says, standing, "about the afternoon tea."

"Yes. And dad.....Thanks for coming," Blaine says and shakes his dads hand again, but this time there is much more warmth behind it, and they fall into an almost hug before Donald pulls away, clearing his throat.

"Lola, come say goodbye to...uh...your grandad?" Kurt asks of Donald, unsure if he will accept the title or not, but he smiles at Kurt and looks almost relieved.

"Another one?" Lola asks confusedly.

"No, Kurt says lifting her with ease. "You're thinking of grandpa. This is grandad."

"Oh. 'Bye!" Lola says cheerfully, laughing as he chucks her under the chin.

"It was...wonderful to met you," Donald smiles at her. "I'll see you all soon."

Blaine sees him out, heaving a huge sigh of relief and covering his face with his hands once the door is closed.

"Blaine?" Kurt asks softly, taking his hands away gently.

"Yeah?"

"I want another baby."  

 


	31. Chapter 31

“What?” Blaine whispers, sure he’s misheard.

“I want us to have another baby.”

“But...why? You said...”

“I said I would think about it, and I have. Seeing you...the way you talk about us....the way you were with you dad. I just...realized that you’re right. The more loving and supportive people Lola has in her life, the better. Let's go for it.”

“Surrogacy?”

“Yes. If you’re sure.”

“I meant what I said- I’d like a mini Kurt. We have a mini Blaine, albeit she’s a girl but...”

“We’ll have to look into it of course,” Kurt muses aloud. “Find the best agency...”

“Um...actually...I have a binder,” Blaine says biting his bottom lip into a shy smile.

“Blaine Anderson! You mock the binder!”

“I do....but actually I think it’s cute that you’re so dedicated.”

“There’s something else I’m dedicated to as well.”

“Us?”

“Well yes...” Kurt says as he hooks his thumbs into Blaine’s belt loops and pulls him closer. “But I’m very dedicated about getting you naked and underneath me,” he whispers into his ear before crashing their lips together in a heated kiss.

“Tea for you...” Lola announces cheerfully, pushing in between them, oblivious to the kiss taking place above her head. “Papa! Tea for you.”

“Hmm? Oh, sorry Lola. Thank you,” he says with a smile, mouthing ‘later’ at Blaine who thumps his head against the wall in frustration.

“You think she’s bad? Wait until there’s another one, one that needs feeding every three hours.”

“What? Three hours? Seriously?” Blaine asks, incredulous and finding it hard to believe that something so small could need feeding so often.

“Thereabouts,” Kurt shrugs. “Our lazy evenings of lovemaking will have to be put on hold for a few years at least.”

“Meh...Cooper likes babies,” Blaine says as he wraps his arms around him once more. “Now...let me fetch my binder.”

* * *

Things move quickly after that, and Kurt and Blaine feel like their feet never touch the floor as wedding preparations and baby plans take precedence over everything else. Donald Anderson is true to his word, and along with a very apprehensive Susan, takes Lola for afternoon tea at The Ritz-Carlton. Although his mom seems to enjoy herself, it is Donald who is truly taken with the little girl- returning her home complete with a giant balloon and several tales about their time together. Blaine knows that they will never be a presence in their lives in the same way as Burt and Carole, but he’s still grateful that they at least seem willing to try and build some kind of relationship with the three of them.

Using the best agency in New York, they quickly find a surrogate called Belinda who lives in Queens. Having already been a surrogate twice before, Kurt and Blaine are reassured when they meet with her, knowing she will be the person to carry their precious baby and that she is almost as excited by the whole thing as they are. Kurt thinks twice when he turns up to do his bit, emerging from the small room very red faced and indignant and refusing to speak to Blaine until they are home.

"It was mortifying Blaine! I am telling you now we're not having any more- or if we are then we're using you. It was so degrading."

"I had to have sex with a woman to get Lola, so stop moaning," Blaine says, pulling him into his arms and Kurt can't help but laugh.

"And the guy in the magazine looked suspiciously like Ricky Martin." Kurt grumbles against his collar.

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with Ricky, he's served me well over the years."

"Well I didn't use the magazine anyway. I just thought of you."

"Hmmm? Anything specific?"

"Yes," Kurt says, eyes turning dark as he pushes Blaine to his knees. "This."

*

It's a Tuesday, two weeks before the wedding. Cooper is singing loudly as he sketches rough plans for a new elementary school when Kurt bursts into the office, cheeks streaked with tears and face frantic.

"Blaine..." he wails loudly.

"What's he done?"

"No....where is he? Where's Blaine?"

"Gone to get me a muffin," Cooper says, guiding Kurt to a nearby chair. "What's wrong?"

"The...the....venue.....double....double booked us. They fucking double booked us Cooper!"

"Is that all? I thought something had happened to Lola."

"Is that all? IS THAT ALL?! This is my fucking WEDDING! We have nowhere to get married! Oh god...this can't be happening. It can't. It just can't."

"Erm...you could try city hall?" Cooper offers.

"I don't want to get married at fucking city hall you dumbass! It's ME. MY wedding. The one event I have waited my entire life for."

"Well at least the other groom will show up this time."

"Not funny. And he won't be showing up if he hasn't got anywhere to fucking show up to! Oh god...maybe I'm just destined to never have a wedding at all."

"Maybe Blaine will be have a suggestion."

"Don't be ridiculous," Kurt snaps as he swipes at his tears, "he's almost as useless as you."

"Hey, we're guys. We just put on a tux and show up."

"And what the fuck does that make me then?"

"You're...well....you're Kurt. You notice things like soft furnishings, you instinctively know how to fasten Lola's clothes or how to do a French braid. But you also kick ass on the Xbox. You're...well you’re weird."

"An anomaly."

"Yes!"

"Thought so. Your dad said gay people were an anomaly to him. You're more alike than you think."

"I don't mean it to sound offensive."

"I'm only letting it slide because it's you. And for some insane reason I love you."

"AWWWW, I love you too Kurtie!" Cooper says, sitting triumphantly on Kurt's lap and beaming.

"Don't push it."

"Sorry. Okay, so we need to get on this, stat," Cooper says as he strides over to his laptop. "Where have you tried already?"

"Uh...nowhere. I just got the call and came straight here," he replies, looking over Cooper’s shoulder as he brings up google. "Don't type that!"

"What?"

"Best place for a big gay wedding? Really?"

"Okay...um...big gay wedding, anywhere in New York will do," Cooper says as he types, Kurt groaning in frustration.

"Coop, I got...oh!" Blaine's entire face lights up when he sees Kurt standing behind his brother. "Well this is a nice surprise," he slides his arms around Kurt's waist, immediately feeling horny as hell and wondering if its possible to sneak home for an hour. "Hmmm, you smell so good," he whispers into Kurt's neck.

"He smells like sweat, he's stressed out. I however, smell beautiful."

"Shut up Cooper," Kurt snaps. "Oh Blaine...it's terrible. Gotham Hall double booked us."

"What? What does that mean?"

"It means we've got nowhere to hold the wedding. It means two hundred guests are going to turn up and watch someone else getting married. It means it's all ruined!" Kurt wails dramatically.

"Hush....come on. Kurt, it's just a...."

"Don't say it's just a wedding Blaine! Don't you dare!" Kurt screams with a face like thunder.

"I wasn't going to. Just...try and calm down a second. I was going to say its just a minor glitch, that's all. I'll call them and offer them double."

"They won't budge, I already tried."

"Then we'll find somewhere else."

"I just feel like it's all doomed, Blaine. First we couldn't get the boathouse, and now this."

"No...that's not the case at all. This is meant to be, you know that. We are meant to be."

"Then why does fate have other ideas all the time?"

"Because that's what fate does. It twists and turns but ultimately, if something is meant to be, it will be."

"Wise words brother of mine. Like this muffin for example," Cooper says to Kurt. "It's meant to be in my stomach. It's taken longer getting there than I expected, because of your overly dramatic crisis, but now I'm gonna leave you two alone, and me and my muffin are going to get to know each other a little better," he says as he shuts himself into his own office.

"Your brother is so weird," Kurt says as he winds himself tighter against Blaine. "And he called me the anomaly."

"He's okay, he just needs to be fed. So...do you want to stay here and we can call some places?"

"I guess."

An hour later and they're having no luck. Finding a venue that is available, big enough and prepared to accommodate a gay couple is harder than they both imagined. Banging his head on the desk in frustration, Kurt lets out a long sigh.

"We'll just have to postpone."

"No. No we won't do that. We'll find somewhere."

"But where, Blaine? Everywhere is full, except for the really crappy places, and I don't want our wedding to be crappy."

"It won't be. Look....I have an idea...."

"Go on."

"Um...well...why don't we take off and get married abroad?"

"Because two hundred guests are not going to fly to wherever we decide."

"No....but I know seven that will."

"But we've sent all the invites out."

"So we call people and explain. Then when we return from honeymoon we hold a kick ass party at the boathouse to celebrate our wedding, you adopting Lola....and who knows? Maybe even Belinda being pregnant too."

Kurt sits in dumbfounded silence, Blaine can almost hear his brain ticking over as he thinks the idea through. A smile spreads slowly over his face, turning into an ear splitting grin before he hurls himself from his chair and into Blaine's arms.

"I love it! I freakin love it! Why didn't we think of that before? Oh my god Blaine, you're a genius!"

"I wouldn't go that far," Blaine laughs, eagerly returning his embrace. "But I think it could be the solution.”

“It is, oh it is! So...where?”

Taking a deep breath, Blaine shifts Kurt on his lap to face him and takes his hands. “How about where we’re going on honeymoon?”

“I don’t know where that is, you won’t tell me.”

“Think of your color scheme,” Blaine says softly, his eyes sparkling. “Think of why you chose aquamarine.”

“Because it reminded me of...Blaine....Are we going back?”

“Would you like to?”

“Yes.”

“That’s good,” Blaine smiles as his lips meet Kurt’s in a deep kiss. “Because that’s our honeymoon.”

“I love you...” Kurt gets out between frantic kisses. “So... do you think...Blaine....stop...Do you think....Blaine...please, let me....Okay,” he extracts himself from Blaine’s lap and stands, hands on hips, glaring down at him with mock indignation. “This is important.”

“So is this,” Blaine says, boldly opening his legs wider so Kurt gets a clear view of his erection.

“Oh what a difference a year makes,” Kurt sighs. “There you were, blushing virgin...”

“I was not!”

“Well...you were when it came to being gay. Anyway. Do you think we can get married there? And most importantly, if we can, do you think everyone would be prepared to fly out?”

“Cooper!” Blaine yells, “Cooper, get your ass in here!”

“What?” Cooper replies, striding into the room and sitting on the desk.

Blaine quickly relays the plans, Cooper actually listening quite intently for once. “So my question is... Would you be prepared to fly back with Lola, so that Kurt and I could have our honeymoon?”

“Sure.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, I was going to be sitting her for two weeks anyway. It’s no big deal. Besides, do you guys even know how many numbers I get when she’s with me? Chicks just gravitate towards us.”

“One more thing,” Kurt says from where he is frantically typing on his iPad. “How would you like to get ordained?”

“I already am.”

“What?” Kurt and Blaine cry together.

“Yeah...I got bored one night, was messing about on the internet and decided to do it.”

“Have you ever married anyone?”

“No, but I did conduct a funeral.”

“I’m not even going to ask,” Blaine says, shaking his head in bewilderment.

“So...” Kurt looks to Blaine, who smiles his confirmation. “Cooper, would you marry us?”

“Hell yeah!” he yells, punching the air before kissing them both wetly on the lips, ignoring their protests. “Blaine...go home. Sort flights. I’ll pay. Call it a wedding present. Oh. And write your vows.”

“Coming?” Blaine ask, hand outstretched to Kurt.

“I don't know...I have work to do.”

“Blow it off.”

“I’m not sure...”

“Blow it off so you can blow me.”

“Dude! I'm still in the room!” Cooper cries, horrified.

“Sorry. I’ll take him home,” Kurt says, tugging a smug Blaine from the room by his tie.

“We have three hours until we have to collect Lola,” Blaine points out once they’re in the cab.

“I realize that, and a lot to do in that time.” Kurt says primly.

“Spoilsport,” Blaine grumbles, but then feels his breathing quicken as Kurt’s fingers start a trail up the inside of his thigh.

“An awful lot to do....”

The tension is palpable as they nod their greeting to George, then find to their dismay that they are sharing the elevator with three other people. As soon as the doors open, they emerge- giggling like school kids as their lips lock together and they stumble towards the apartment. Blaine has his pants around his ankles before Kurt has even shut the door, groaning as Kurt eagerly falls to his knees.

“Yes...suck me,” he whimpers, and wasting no time he tangles his fingers into Kurt’s hair and pushes his straining cock between his rosy lips. “Ahhh, shit that’s good. I promise I’ll take care of you later but right now I just need to come down your throat,” Blaine rambles, fucking Kurt’s face all the while who accepts eagerly, fingernails digging into Blaine’s thighs as he pulls him even closer.

Blaine’s hips snap forward and back, forward and back, with Kurt breathing heavily through his nose as he takes him deeper, running his tongue into the slit and making Blaine cry out.

“Fuck! Kurt...I’m close already....” he trails off as Kurt’s thumb moves along his crack to push at his hole, making his knees tremble as his fingers tighten their grip in Kurt’s hair. “Fuck...fuck...Kurt!” With a final cry, he comes- so hard he is left seeing stars and clutching the wall for support.

“You okay?” Kurt asks, wiping the corner of his mouth delicately.

“Yeah...I just... really needed that,” Blaine pants.

“You always do.”

“True. I’m gonna shower,” he says as he fastens his pants. “You might like to join me.”

“I’m not dirty,” Kurt states, to which Blaine merely raises one eyebrow.

“I created a new program.”

“Oh?”

“Setting number five.”

 

“What is it this time?” Kurt asks warily, “We have morning wake up, evening wind down, post gym, Lola’s own and now?”

“Sex.” Blaine says simply, dragging Kurt through the bedroom to the bathroom.

Clothes are quickly shed, and before Blaine is really aware of what is happening, he finds his face being pressed against the cool tile of the shower as a very dominant Kurt fucks into him roughly, desperate to find his own release. Leaning his forearm across Blaine’s shoulders, he pins him in place as his thrusts become almost frantic.

“Jesus Blaine...so...fucking....tight. Perfect.”

“Harder Kurt...fuck me harder. Wanna feel you.”

“Yes...talk to me Blaine.”

“I wanna feel your cock baby,” Blaine rasps, voice low and sultry. “I wanna feel you come in my ass. I’m so hard Kurt...it's all for you. All cause of your dick fucking me open.”

Water falling into his eyes and over Blaine’s back, Kurt grips his hips tightly. “Yeah...you like that don't you? Like it when I fuck you hard.”

“Yes...yes..” Blaine moans wantonly, pushing back to meet each one of Kurt’s thrusts.

“Like it when I say that you’re mine,” Kurt growls.  

“Yes! Holy shit Kurt...yes. I'm yours. Always.”

“Mine. My tight little ass to fuck,” Kurt says as he spanks each cheek lightly. The only response from Blaine is a deep, guttural moan as he tries desperately to keep a grip on the wet tiles. “Yeah...that’s it Blaine. Moan for me, go on baby. Moan as I fill you up.”

“Feels...so...good,” an almost broken Blaine whimpers. “Being full of your cock. Come. Come in my ass.”

On that command, and with a final thrust, Kurt pulses deep inside of Blaine, who quivers and comes himself, cock untouched. Breathing heavily, Kurt falls across Blaine’s back and watches the water chasing their evidence away before pulling out slowly.

“I love you,” he whispers softly to Blaine as he peppers sweet kisses along his shoulderblades. “Blaine? Are you even alive?”

“Barely. Love you too. I know we’re supposed to be booking flights, but can we nap first?”

“Of course,” Kurt laughs.

On his way from the shower to the closet, Kurt notices the red light flashing on the answer machine. Hitting play as he passes, he stops dead in his tracks when he hears the voice.

“Hi Kurt, Hi Blaine. It’s Belinda. I know this goes against protocol, but I wanted to call you before the agency does. Congratulations guys, your cupcake is safely installed in my oven. You two are officially pregnant.”

 


	32. Chapter 32

"They said yes," an astounded Blaine says as he drops his phone on the couch. "They actually said yes."

"See? I told you it was worth asking. You never know...."

"Until you try," they both finish together. Blaine falls eagerly into the hug Kurt offers, nuzzling against his neck and inhaling his scent.

“Is it okay if I just don't ask about what my mom said to Lisa at New Years?” Blaine asks as he rests his head on Kurt’s shoulder. “I think maybe some things just aren’t worth the hassle, and I don’t want to rock the boat.”

“I understand,” Kurt says, and the reassurance those two words bring floods Blaine with relief as Kurt feels him sag against him. “It’s a fragile relationship, tentative and new. Why put pressure on it? The important thing is that they’re making the effort. It’s being driven by your dad too- your mom is the more hesitant one so you really don’t want to alienate her right now. No, I agree. Some things are better left unsaid.”

“Thank you,” Blaine whispers into his neck.

“Did you tell them about the baby?" Kurt asks as he rubs small circles on Blaine's back.

"Yes."

"And?"

"And they said congratulations. Just like that. Like they actually meant it. I mean, they didn't have quite the reaction your dad and Carole did..."

"Don't remind me, my hearing is still trying to recover."

"It was cute. And then Burt, trying to pretend like he wasn't crying."

"Doesn't really work over Skype though, does it?"

"No. Anyway, the point is, they seemed genuinely pleased. They're never going to be overly effusive about anything I guess, but there's sentiment in there somewhere, and that's what matters."

"It is. So are they going to just come on the day, or what?" Kurt asks as he begins to tidy Lola's toys away.

"Yes, but they're also going to ask Cooper if he wants to go back to Monte Carlo with them for a few days.

"Do you think he will?"

"He might, if he has Lola with him. Oh, they're also coming to the boathouse party- if that's okay?"

"Of course it is. They're your parents Blaine. So that's four extra for the wedding then, Hiram and Leroy sent a very exuberant email this morning."

"Well I feel like I owe them so much. If it wasn't for them my parents wouldn't even know about the engagement, much less anything else."

"Excited?"

"Nervous."

"Why nervous?" Kurt asks, curious as to why he would be feeling that emotion above anything else.

"My vows. I just.... I just hope you like them."

"I'm positive I will. I can't wait. I can't wait to pull you into my arms and share our first kiss as husbands," Kurt grins. Unable to be physically parted for long, he walks toward Blaine again, intertwining their fingers and tugging him closer. "I think we should practice," he whispers against Blaine's lips, who is already grinning broadly.

"We were supposed to be packing."

"We're not gonna be needing many clothes," Kurt says quietly before he inclines his head and slowly brings his lips to Blaine's.

* * *

"Oh my god it's so good to be back!" Blaine cries, holding his arms high above his head as a laughing Kurt drives them through the French countryside.

"Daddy's funny," Lola calls from the backseat, and Kurt nods his agreement.

"Yes, daddy is very funny sweetie. Are you excited Lola? We can play on the beach."

"We played on the beach last year," Blaine says with a wink.

"Ha! I don't think it will be quite the same until the honeymoon officially starts. But I'm glad we came out early, a few days with just the three of us sounds perfect."

And that's exactly what it is. Lola adores the house, and splashing in the pool with Blaine, laughing loudly as she soaks Kurt sitting on the side, who eventually gives in and joins them. They spend long lazy afternoons on the beach, paddling in the sea together, or building elaborate sand castles before stomping them to the ground in fits of laughter. Kurt and Lola sit together on the blanket, sharing fresh strawberries from the local market, watching Blaine swim out into the deep water- squealing when he returns and shakes water droplets all over them like a dog.

"Grandpa comes tomorrow," Blaine says into Lola's soft hair, who claps her hands together excitedly. Dusk is beginning to fall and the pair are curled up together on the large patio lounger. From inside the house, Blaine can hear the noises of Kurt moving around the kitchen. Lola is fresh from the bath and ready for bed, adorable as ever in her light blue plaid pajamas, hair tumbling about her face as she curls into her daddy's embrace.

"And more?" she asks, twirling the curls at the base of Blaine's neck as he mirrors the action on her.

"Lots more. Grandma, Uncle Finn and Aunt Rachel, Zach..." he breaks to laugh softly at Lola's excited squeal. "Hiram and Leroy, Grandad and Nana Susan," he continues, "and of course,"

"Ooper!"

"Yes. And remember, after the wedding, you're going on vacation with Uncle Cooper and then he'll take you home, okay?"

"Yes," Lola nods, though Blaine knows she won't really understand until it's all happening.

"And daddy and papa will be home very soon, with lots of cuddles and kisses for my cutie." Looking down, he sees Lola has become sleepy, holding Lily close to her chest as she sucks on her thumb, eyelids drooping. "I will miss you so much my baby girl, but when we get back it's all going to be so exciting. Soon you'll be a big sister, and I just know you're gonna be the best big sister there is." He drops another kiss into her hair and holds her close. "And remember Lola, above everything, that you are perfect. I never wished for you, because I never believed something as wonderful as you could exist. I love you so very, very much."

Kurt drops softly onto the lounger, curling one arm around him and brushing away the tear tracks on Blaine's face with his thumb. "And she loves you," he whispers as they gaze down at their sleeping daughter. "Do you know how grateful Lola and I are to have you in our lives?"

"Stop," Blaine says, suddenly bashful and blushing slightly in the near darkness.

"We are. You're our rock, Blaine. You're my soulmate and daddy to my most treasured possession."

"Aren't you supposed to say this stuff tomorrow?"

"I guess," Kurt chuckles softly. "Do you want me to take her?"

"Nah, snuggle here with us for a bit, we'll go in when it starts to get cool."

“So...tomorrow.” Kurt says, moving to wrap his legs around Blaine’s hips and snuggle into his side.

“Indeed.”

“It’s going to be perfect.”

“Are you sure this is what you wanted?” Blaine asks, turning to catch his eyes in the dark.

“Yes.... Not at first I’ll admit, but then that’s always the way with us isn’t it? But now I really couldn’t think of doing it any other way.”

“But you were talking about your dad giving you away, walking down the aisle...”

“Blaine. Please. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want it to be like this. I’d be in a nameless and faceless New York hotel, like I was almost a year ago, insisting that my groom didn’t see me before the big day. But instead, I’m in a place we both love so much, that holds so much significance for us, curled up with my groom and our daughter. We get to spend the whole day tomorrow with the people we love the most. I couldn’t think of anything better.”

“I wonder how big our baby’s gotten?” Blaine muses, running his fingers delicately along the back of Kurt’s neck.

“Hmm. Twelve weeks. I’m sure the book said something about the size of a grapefruit.”

Blaine chuckles at the thought, then looks up at Kurt. “Any preference?”

“None. Boy or girl I couldn’t care. I just can’t wait to meet him or her.”

“Me too. Can we be those obnoxious parents who carry photos of their kids everywhere to bore random strangers?”

“We already are,” Kurt laughs softly.

“True.”

“Come on, let’s get to bed.” Standing, Kurt stretches his arms high over his head with a yawn, then takes Lola carefully into his arms.

“Kurt?”

“Hmm?”

“Can Lola sleep with us tonight? Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited for the honeymoon, but I’m really going to miss her.”

“Of course.”

“This brings back memories,” Kurt says as he spoons himself in behind Blaine. “Pressing my body against yours, desperate to touch you in any way possible, all under the guise of innocent cuddles.”

“Your erection pushing into my ass was somewhat of a giveaway,” Blaine whispers back. “I remember waking up and feeling it pushed against me.”

“You freaked.”

“I did. But only because I didn’t think you felt anything for me.”

“And now?”

“And now I know you love me as I love you,” Blaine says and pulls Lola tighter against him as the three spoon together. “So sleep my Kurt- for tomorrow we shall be married.”

With a soft laugh into his hair, Kurt pulls the covers over them, closing his eyes and letting his dreams take hold.

* * *

“Dude! You’re totally getting married today!” an exuberant Cooper bounces from the car and up to his brother, picking him up and holding him tight. “And where’s my favorite girl?” he asks, pretending not to notice Lola jumping up and down in front of him and waving her arms.

“I here! I here!”

“Oh! There she is! Ready for our road trip baby doll?” he asks, bouncing her on his hip and making her laugh.

Blaine leaves them to it and goes to greet everyone else, taking Zach from Rachel and burying his face into his soft downy hair, his favorite thing to do.

“He’s almost walking,” Rachel comments as she hands him over.

“Already? He’s not one for another month.”

“Yes, but he’s eager to chase after Lola I think.”

“Are your dads coming?”

“They should be,” Rachel says as she looks back up the dirt track. “They rode with your parents. Quite the burgeoning friendship I believe.”

“That’s so bizarre. I’m gonna wait out here for them if that’s okay.”

 

“Sure. I’ll go find Kurt.” Kissing his cheek, she takes Zach inside leaving Blaine to pace nervously until he sees a car pull up to the house.

“Hello Blaine,” Donald Anderson, stiff, formal and undeniably nervous steps from the car to shake his son’s hand- then drops it at the last second and pulls him into a hug instead. “How are you feeling?”

“I uh...yeah...” a completely overwhelmed Blaine stammers. “Nervous I guess. But excited too.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Donald says, then stares at the ground unsure of what to say.

“Oh me too!” Hiram cries, Blaine eyeing him gratefully as he comes to the rescue. “I was telling your dad on the journey, I just love weddings. And I know this one will be perfect. Now where is my gorgeous grandson and the delectable Miss Anderson-Hummel?”

“They’re in the house, along with everyone else, go on in,” Blaine says, smiling as Leroy and Donald follow him.

“Hey mom.”

“Blaine,” Susan says somewhat coldly.

“Thank you for coming.”

“I can’t say I had much choice in the matter.”

“You could have stayed on the yacht,” Blaine says, hurt. “I don’t want anyone to feel like they’re here under sufferance.”

“I’ve never been to a gay wedding,” Susan admits, and Blaine suddenly realizes the coldness comes from nerves.

“Oh mom. Neither have I. Except Kurt’s other one- which doesn’t count.”

“How can you joke about it?”

“Because Ian and Kurt didn’t work out because fate had other ideas. We were destined to be together, and Ian has found happiness too. Him and Kurt are on great terms.”

“Not so with you and Lisa.”

“I tried,” Blaine shrugs. “She didn’t want to know, and I don’t want to know her the way she is right now. I know that dissappoints you but...”

“It doesn’t actually,” Susan swiftly interrupts. “I won’t lie. I would prefer you to be in a straight relationship, and with the mother of your child. But I know what her proposition to you was, and I’m glad you didn’t accept. Not that I thought for a minute you would. You’re a better man than that. For what it’s worth, I did not know she would come up with that crackpot idea.”

“That’s good to know,” Blaine says meekly. “But I want to forget the whole thing now and focus on today, and my future with Kurt.”

“The baby.”

“Yes. And Lola. She’s growing up so quickly. It’s hard to believe I’ve had her nearly a year.”

“Is she excited for today?”

“She’s more excited by her dress, and the fact that all her family are here. She doesn’t really understand anything else.”

“Thank you, for inviting us I mean,” Susan says suddenly. “It means a lot to your dad. To me as well I think. I just...”

“I know,” Blaine says, blinking back tears. “I know this is hard for you, which is why it means so much that you’re here. You’ve never spoken about your feelings, but I want you to know that I do love you."

“I’ve not been a good mom. I just...didn’t want to be. I don’t think Lisa did either, and maybe she’s right to stay away, I don’t know. But I do know that now I wouldn’t be without you both for the world, and Lola too. She’s a very special little girl. Your dad is very taken.”

“Yes,” Blaine laughs as he scuffs at the ground. “He’s really surprising me.”

“Maybe I will too, one day.” Susan says quietly, holding out her hand to him.

Blaine swallows over the lump in his throat but it just won’t go away. He can’t remember ever having held his mom’s hand before, and he takes it tentatively. “I think you just did,” he whispers.

 


	33. Chapter 33

“Okay, are we ready?” Kurt says as he crouches in front of Lola and fiddles with the white daisies he has just woven into her hair.

“Yes!”

“Try not to jump sweetie, I know you’re excited but...ah what the hell. A quick bounce on the bed,” he says and pulling her up, they both jump up and down, squealing and laughing until they hear Blaine.

“What’s going on up there?”

“Nothing!” a panting Kurt calls back as he climbs down and adjusts his bowtie in the mirror. “Lola and I were just getting a bit over excited.”

“You ready? Everyone is down at the beach already.”

“We’re ready,” a suddenly serious Kurt says appearing at the top of the stairs. He is dressed in a tux, hair styled impeccably and feet left bare, a golden glow and smattering of freckles decorating his face from the last few days of sun. He is holding Lola’s hand, who beams as she holds her small basket of flowers. Wearing the exquisite white dress Kurt made for her, with bright aquamarine sash to match Kurt and Blaine’s bowties, she tugs Kurt eagerly down the stairs to his waiting fiance.

“Oh holy shit,” Blaine mutters as they advance.

“Blaine!” Kurt admonishes. “Language.”

“Sorry. It’s just you...I...you both look so beautiful,” he says as he wipes frantically at his eyes.

“So do you,” Kurt says softly, and cradling his face tenderly he brushes his lips over his. Blaine tries to chase after the kiss, but Kurt backs away shaking his head.

“Uh-uh. Next kiss will be at the altar. Or on the beach, however you want to look at it.”

“I love you,” Blaine says simply.

“I love you too. Now let’s do this.”

Taking Lola’s hands between them, they step out onto the patio and gaze at the brilliant red and orange streaks across the sky from the setting sun. They walk in blissful silence down to the beach, both blinking back tears as they take in the sight of their excited family waiting for them. Blaine lets Lola run into the open arms of Carole, then taking Kurt’s hand in his, they stand in front of Cooper.

“Yo.”

“Behave,” Blaine whispers to him with a tiny laugh and Cooper grins, glad he’s eased Blaine’s nerves somewhat before the ceremony begins.

“Hi everyone, welcome to the marriage of Kurt and Blaine. Firstly, I want to start by saying how honored I am that you guys asked me to do this. I love you both with all my heart, and I am so glad that you found each other...even if it took a while and you were right there in front of each other all along.”

Blaine ducks his head shyly as he hears everyone laughing softly behind him, looking up when Kurt squeezes his fingers and offers a nervous smile his way.

“So much has changed in the last year- Kurt, getting ditched was the best thing that could have happened to you. From there we had the arrival of Zach, Lola, the friends, not friends, friends, lovers, friends, not...”

“Yeah...okay,” Blaine hisses at him.

“But you got there. Here. Where we are now. Ready to start your life together as husbands and parents. So...Blaine. Please can you speak your vows to Kurt.”

Turning, Blaine takes both Kurt’s hands in his and draws a trembling breath. Shaking head to toe, he looks deep into those cerulean eyes he loves so much and begins to speak.

“Kurt. I promise to love, cherish and protect you always. I will laugh with you through the sunshine, and hold you through the storms. I promise to respect you as an individual and to share my life openly, honestly and faithfully with you. I promise to be your best friend forever, to always listen, to talk, to care. I make these vows to you and our children and promise to keep them for all eternity”

“Dude,” Cooper chokes out, and Blaine turns, eyes shining to see Cooper frantically wiping his eyes. “Okay, Kurt. Your vows to Blaine.”

Kurt nods, then turns to Blaine and with tears already making tracks down his cheeks, offers a blazing smile to Blaine and then speaks.

“Blaine. I promise you my love and friendship until the end of time. I will always be there for you and our children, I will keep you safe from harm as we journey through life together. I promise to laugh and cry with you, to share my deepest thoughts with you. I will support you through good times and through bad, you are my soulmate. I promise I will always respect and honor you and I will never take our love for granted. I make these promises to you for the rest of our lives.”

“Um...wow.” Cooper chokes, and the couple stay smiling to one another as they hear sniffles and much throat clearing behind them. “Okay, so now we exchange rings, and I understand a very special little girl has been looking after them. Lola?”

Suddenly shy, Lola drags a rather embarrassed Uncle Finn to the front as she hands a small box to Cooper then runs away again to hide back in Carole’s embrace. Blaine takes the platinum ring set with four diamonds, and holds it to Kurt’s finger.

“My Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, I promise to give you the best of myself, I promise to share my whole life with you and bring joy, strength and love to our marriage. I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the windows of my world into my innermost fears, feelings, secrets and dreams.

With this ring, I give you my all. I promise to raise our children together with all the love, respect and care that I can give. I promise to grow old with you, to be willing to face any challenge, doubt or fear head on and to keep you safe by my side throughout it all, with all I have to give and all that I feel, completely and forever.”

“Blaine Devon Anderson, in your love I have found a place into which I fit perfectly, safely and securely with no doubts, no fears, no sadness, no tears. Our love is filled with happiness and laughter. This place I never believed truly existed until I found it in your loving arms, in our daughter's laugh and in the conception of our baby. From this moment on I ask you to be with me on our journey, to share our dreams, go forward together as a family and to be my companion along the way.

With this ring, I give you my all. I promise to raise our children together with all the love, respect and care that I can give. I promise to grow old with you, to be willing to face any challenge, doubt or fear head on and to keep you safe by my side throughout it all, with all I have to give and all that I feel, completely and forever.”

With shaking hands, he slides the matching ring onto Blaine’s finger and finally breathes. Their hands stay clasped as they stare into the depths of one another’s soul. With the sun setting a brilliant orange over the horizon, and the waves gently lapping at the shore, Cooper finally utters the words they’ve been dying to hear.

“It gives me great, huge, overwhelming pleasure, to pronounce you married. You may both kiss your husband.”

It seems like a lifetime, but slowly Blaine gently inclines his head. Kurt’s hands slide around his waist as Blaine drapes his arms over Kurt’s shoulders and their lips meet in the softest of kisses. Blaine pulls back slightly, keeping his eyes closed as he rests his forehead against Kurt’s.

“My Kurt, my husband,” he whispers, and Kurt surges forward to claim him with his mouth, gasping as Blaine opens wider under his touch and runs his tongue along Kurt’s lower lip. He responds eagerly, fisting his hands into the back of Blaine’s jacket and pulling him closer until both remember they are surrounded by family and pull apart, breathless with exhilaration and basking in the applause.

Burt is first with his huge hugs and kisses, shamelessly wiping his eyes on the back of his hand. “I love you both so much. People look at me all funny when I tell them my boys are getting married, but you’re both my boys, and always will be. I’m so proud of you,” he says, pulling them both into another giant hug before reluctantly letting Rachel and Finn greet the happy couple.

“Dudes. That was like, the sweetest wedding I’ve ever been to,” Finn exclaims as he hugs them each in turn.

“What about ours?” Rachel asks, hands on hips.

“Erm...So anyway. I loved it. Cried, of course.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised, Finn.” Kurt laughs. “You cry at everything. And Rachel, your wedding was beautiful.”

“Thank you!” she flings herself at Kurt and then whispers “But it wasn’t as wonderful as yours. I loved the whole thing. You make such a beautiful couple, and I’m so lucky to have you both as brothers. And you...” she says turning to Blaine who now has Zach perched happily on his hip. “I’m telling you, if my son doesn't grow up wanting to work for his beloved Uncle Blaine then there’s something very wrong. I cannot wait until there’s even more children for you to go gooey over. For someone who doesn't like kids you seem to be doing okay."

"I only like the exceptionally cute ones," he says kissing Zach's cheek. "You should have more."

"Um...well...actually. We are," Rachel says with a coy smile.

"Really? Oh my god!" Blaine yells, crushing her against his side as Kurt hugs Finn again. "When?"

"Right about when Anderson-Hummel number two is due. I wasn't going to say anything until after the wedding...it's your day."

"Ah who cares? It's our day Rachel, all of ours, because we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the love you've all given us." Kurt says as he kisses his nephew.

"Blaine, honey? I think your parents would like to see you both," Carole says with a gentle touch to his arm. Looking past Finn, he catches sight of his mom and dad standing awkwardly off to the side. He grabs Kurt's hand and walks over to them, pulling up short when he notices his dad's red rimmed eyes.

"You okay?" he asks hesitantly.

"Yes," Donald says, standing a little straighter and replacing his handkerchief in his pocket. "Yes I am, thank you. It was a beautiful service. Very moving."

"I'm glad you could come," Kurt says warmly as he shakes both their hands. "It means a lot to us to have all of our family here."

"It was better than a real wedding really," Susan muses out loud, and while Donald visibly flinches at her choice of words, Kurt and Blaine manage to remain impassive with just an unseen squeeze of each others hands. "The vows were beautiful."

"Thank you," Blaine says politely. "I had so many nightmares over writing them, you wouldn't believe."

"You wrote that?" Susan asks incredulously.

"Yes. Kurt wrote his and I wrote mine. The exchanging of the rings we wrote together."

Susan seems unable to speak, and her face is unreadable but Donald is quick to step in. "Well your mom is right. They were beautiful. I'm very proud of you both. I hope you enjoy your honeymoon, maybe when you're back in New York we could go for dinner?"

"That sounds great dad. Now I'm gonna go catch up with Hiram and Leroy if you'll excuse us," he says and nodding politely they walk away.

"Boys!" an effusive Leroy cries, pulling them both in for a hug. "Listen to me, you're nearly thirty and I'm still calling you boys. Ah well. Stunning. Truly stunning. Who knew Cooper could be so eloquent and well behaved?"

"Will he be singing later?" Hiram enquires, looking over the top of his glasses with concern.

"Probably," Kurt laughs. "We just..uh...wanted to thank you both, for all you've done for us with Blaine's parents."

"Yeah, you've built so many bridges, and I can never thank you enough."

"It's nothing," Leroy says, "I consider it an opportunity for me to do right where I perhaps didn't before. Hiram and I both feel that we should have tried harder with my parents, particularly my mom after my father passed away. We can't change our past, but we can meddle in your future. In the best possible way of course."

"Of course," Blaine laughs, hugging them both again.

"Okay, everyone up to the house for champagne!" Burt calls loudly, and the party begins to make its way up the path.

"Happy, Mr. Hummel?" Blaine asks with a quick kiss to his husband’s lips.

"Mr. Anderson-Hummel to you, and yes, I am, but there's one more guy we need to thank, and a very special little girl we need to lavish attention on."

They find them both up at the house, dangling their feet in the pool as they sit together, Lola sipping a glass of iced tea as Cooper holds it for her. Every so often, he nudges her gently, her small face turning to him as he points something out or asks her something. Blaine can feel himself relax, knowing how much she will cherish her time alone with him over the next two weeks.

"Hey," he says softly, sitting down next to his brother as Kurt sits on the other side of Lola. "You okay?"

"We are," Cooper nods solemnly. "Lola and I were just discussing the finer points of the French countryside."

"So uh.... Cooper. We just wanted to thank you...." Blaine starts, then finds himself unable to finish as the entire events of the day, combined with his overwhelming love and affection for his brother takes hold and he breaks down in tears.

"Hey bro, what's wrong?" Cooper asks, immediately pulling him close and smoothing his hair.

"Daddy cry?" Lola asks Kurt with concern, and he pulls her onto his lap.

"Don't worry sweetie, daddy is crying because he's so happy. He needs our cuddles though," Kurt says as he moves to the other side of Blaine and joins Cooper in holding him.

"I could totally pull us all in this pool right now," Cooper mutters into Blaine's hair as he stretches his arms around Kurt.

"Don't you dare," Kurt says. "You're officially my brother now, which means I can beat you up and show no mercy.

"Pool 'Ooper, do it!" Lola laughs, having the presence of mind to jump out of the way as Cooper pulls the three of them into the water.

"You.....!" Kurt splutters as he surfaces.

"What? Don't curse in front of Lola!" Cooper laughs. "And you've always been my brother you moron, so no more of your empty threats." He dodges out of the way as Finn dive bombs in, laughing and splashing water over the newlyweds as they swim to each other.

"How did we end up with four boys?" Carole moans to Burt affectionately.

"Um.... Burt?" Donald says tentatively, arriving at his side. "I just wanted to thank you. You know, you've done such a great job with them all, both of you."

"Really, it's been our privilege. But it means a lot to hear you say that. I'm happy you're back in their lives, and I hope you know you'll always be welcome in our home."

The boys heave themselves from the pool, and run to the wet room to fetch towels. Once they're dry, and Kurt has found clothes for them all, Blaine finally finds the words he needs.

"Cooper," he says, pulling him into the kitchen. "I wanted to say thank you. For everything, for being my brother, for being so funny and charming, for knocking sense into me when needed but most of all, for marrying Kurt and I and being so, so wonderful with Lola."

"Everywhere I turn today someone is thanking somebody else. Man, that's why I love being in this family."

"That maybe so but for me, my biggest thanks, my eternal debt of gratitude is owed to you."

"Blaine, I'm gonna be serious for a second. Shocker. You don't need to thank me for anything. I only have one request. Believe in yourself, as I have always believed in you. You are an amazing person. And so is Kurt. I really, really don't know what I would do without you guys in my life. And as for Lola, loving her is the easiest thing I've ever had to do."

"You should have kids of your own someday."

"Nah. Not for me buddy. I like being able to give them back. I enjoy being an Uncle, it's the best thing ever. And this time next year I'll have two more to dote on. That's enough for me."

"You'll look after her, won't you?"

"No. I'll let her run with the wolves and forage in the woods for food. Moron. Now come on, party time. I've written a song especially for your wedding day."

"Oh God," Blaine moans as Cooper claps an arm around his shoulders and leads him from the room.

The party runs until late, when Zach and Lola fall asleep together on the couch amid vivid conversation and loud laughter. The highlight for Blaine is listening to his dad accompany Cooper and Hiram in an hilarious duet on the piano, while Kurt finds Rachel and Burt's tango bringing tears of laughter to his eyes. Eventually they drift away, in dribs and drabs with fond hugs and kisses until all that's left is Cooper to load a sleeping Lola into her car seat. With kisses to soft rosy cheeks and promises of many calls and texts, Blaine and Kurt dry their tears as they watch Coopes headlamps fade into the distance then retreat into the house. Kurt clasps Blaine's hand tightly, and without so much as a word exchanged for confirmation of their plans, the pair walk right through the house and down to the beach.

Hand in hand, they stare out at the moonlight shimmering on the water, revelling in the calm and quiet after the frantic pace of the day. Eventually, slowly, Kurt removes his shirt and lets his shorts fall softly to the sand before undressing his husband and leading them both into the water. He stops at waist height, the hesitancy and uncertainty still present, but Blaine pulls him deeper until the water laps at their shoulders and he lifts Kurt, wrapping his long legs around his waist.

"My husband," he whispers into the silver light. "My beautiful husband." Kissing deeply, tongues intertwining and hands beginning to roam, the only sound is the waves lapping gently around them and soft moans escaping into the night. Eventually they pull apart, breathless and grinning as they rest their foreheads together.

"I've been waiting for that all day," Kurt whispers.

"Me too," Blaine murmurs in reply, nuzzling his nose and lips against Kurt's neck before drawing a teasing line with his tongue.

"I have had the most perfect day," Kurt continues in hushed tones, not wanting to break the serenity of the moment by talking loudly. "I'm never, ever gonna forget our wedding."

"I'm so glad we got married here," Blaine agrees, still working along Kurt's neck and letting his fingers trace patterns up and down Kurt's spine.

"I love this place. And the house," Kurt says, turning to look at it, standing stark white and nestled into the hillside.

Stopping his ministrations, Blaine pulls back to regard the building with Kurt. "Good. Because it's your wedding present."

"What?"

"I bought it," Blaine answers simply. "Happy wedding day, and congratulations to us."

"I didn't know it was for sale," is all an astounded Kurt can think to say.

"It wasn't."

"I don't think I want to know any more, do I?"

"Probably not," Blaine chuckles against his cheek. "But I figured it would be the perfect place for all our family vacations."

He waits hesitantly for Kurt's response, sure he's going to hear that it's too much, or too extravagant, but instead he finds Kurt's hands gripping either side of his face as he kisses him hungrily. He responds eagerly, splaying his hands over Kurt's strong back muscles and groaning as he feels them moving beneath his skin. Feeling Kurt growing hard between them, Blaine pushes his chest tighter to Kurt's, trying to fuse themselves into one being as they continue to kiss, bite and suck at one another's lips.

"Kurt....oh Kurt!" Blaine cries, throwing his head back as his husband nips at his earlobe before kissing a burning trail down his neck and across his collarbone then working up the other side. Blaine twists his head this way and that before finally capturing those perfect rosy lips once more, hands moving lower to clutch at Kurt's ass roughly, making both cry out.

"Yes...Blaine...want you," Kurt murmurs against his lips, hips stuttering as he feels Blaine push a finger against his entrance.

Pushing slowly, Blaine changes the pace with the sweetest of Eskimo kisses as he gently fingers Kurt open until he is trembling and begging for more.

"Please...you....wanna feel you inside me....please..."

"Anything for my husband," Blaine whispers as he pushes his length swiftly into Kurt, moaning loudly into the dark as they both still, locked together in pleasure. "So good," he murmurs hotly as he slowly pulls almost all the way out before pushing back in.

"Hus.....band...." Kurt moans brokenly as Blaine builds a rhythm. "Love...being called your.....husband," he manages to get out before Blaine's lips are on his again, drawing him in for a kiss which is entirely too sloppy but utterly perfect as the sea moves around them and they move together as one.

"Love you so much Kurt," Blaine grunts into his skin, running his tongue over any part he can reach and tasting the salt water. He takes Kurt in hand as his hips continue to snap back and forth until they're both trembling together right on the edge.

"Blaine...."

"It's okay, I've got you. Always." And with that they reach their climax together, shuddering and shaking as they ride out their high until Kurt rests his head heavily onto Blaine's shoulder, smiling at their hammering heartbeats.

“Thank you for the wedding present,” Kurt laughs, laughing harder still as he feels Blaine’s laugh resonate through him.

“I’m not sure you’re grateful enough.”

“Let’s go back to the house- our house- and I’ll thank you again,” Kurt whispers.

“I’m gonna be a broken man by the time our two weeks are up,” Blaine huffs as the pair start to walk from the water. “Kurt,” he says seriously, stopping them by the shore, “We have thanked everybody today, but I want to thank you. Thank you for making me the happiest man alive by marrying me. But not only that, thank you for sticking with me through all of fate’s twists and turns, and still loving me as you do. It hasn’t been easy, and no doubt there are more challenges to come but please know that I love you and above everything, you are my best friend, always.”

Kurt studies him, face earnest and shining with water droplets in the moonlight. Taking his hands in his, he pushes their bodies close together as he speaks.

 **  
**“My Blaine, my husband, my best friend, always.”


	34. Chapter 34

_Twenty five years later._

__

“This takes me back,” Kurt says as he hovers around Lola, adjusting this flower and that in her perfect black curls until he’s satisfied.

“Papa I’m so excited!” Lola squeals as she looks into the mirror.

“I know sweetie, but try not to bounce. And if you think we’re bouncing on the bed as we did on my wedding day, you can forget it.”

“You ready?” Blaine calls up, and Lola smiles at her Papa’s reflection.

“Well?” Kurt asks.

“I’m ready.”

Taking his daughter proudly on his arm, Kurt escorts her down the stairs to a waiting Blaine, who tries desperately not to cry, but fails.

“My baby girl.”

“Daddy, I’m twenty seven.”

“Still my baby girl.”

“Let’s go,” Kurt says, but Lola’s hand on his arm stops him.

“I just...before we go..." she pauses, takes a deep breath and then, "I wanted to tell you....I’m pregnant.”

“Holy shit.”

“Daddy!”

“Sorry,” a shell shocked Blaine utters as he falls into the nearest chair. “I’m gonna be a grandad?”

“Yes.”

“Lola,” Kurt chokes out, “Lola, I...um...congratulations.”

“Thank you, Grandpa,” she teases, reaching up to kiss his cheek. “Matt and I are so excited.”

“Seriously, a grandad?”

“Yes daddy.”

“But...but...that’s not right. It was surely only yesterday you arrived on my doorstep? And now you’re getting married and having babies already?”

“Blaine, honey. Lola is getting married on our silver wedding anniversary. I know it’s hard to believe, but it was a whole twenty five years ago that we stood here, holding her hands between us, ready to walk to the beach. And that’s what we’ve got to do right now.”

“Daddy, are you okay?”

“Hmm? What? Yes! Yes, of course I am. Congratulations cutie, you will be the best mom there is,” he says, getting to his feet and hugging Lola as tight as he can, mindful of the dress Kurt has spent so many hours creating.

"Well I'm sure as hell gonna base my mothering on all I've learned from Aunt Rachel, not the woman who gave birth to me," Lola snaps, and Kurt has to suppress a smile as her eyes flash just as Blaine's do when he speaks in anger.

"Do you think..." Blaine starts, swallowing the fear bubbling inside him. "Now that you're becoming a mother yourself, do you think you'll want to try and find her?"

"No," comes Lola's immediate and definite reply. "I've never lacked for a female role model, Aunt Rachel and Grandma have been amazing- even nana Susan in her own way. Her role in my life is no different to the role Belinda has played in Ethan's- except Belinda is delightful and the woman who gave birth to me was a bitch. But that's all she is to me, someone who gave birth to me. You and papa are my parents."

"It's your decision cutie," Blaine whispers, voice hoarse with emotion, "but I have to admit to being relieved."

"What do you think Grandma and Grandpa will say?" Lola asks, turning to Kurt.

"They'll be ecstatic, and you know grandpa will cry. I can't see any of the boys giving them great grandchildren any time soon, or if they do it will be a horrendous mistake and someone's ass will be busted."

"Ethan will be an amazing uncle though."

"If he can behave, yes," Blaine says fondly.

"And I'm going to ask Zach and Jacob to be Uncles too. They're as good as extra brothers."

"History repeating itself," Blaine says as he slides his arms around Kurt's waist.

"Please can I be there when you tell nana Susan she's going to become a great grandma?" Kurt asks excitedly, then stops midway through his laugh to look at Blaine. "Oh honey, I'm sorry."

"No, no. It's okay," Blaine says as tears well in his eyes. "He'd have been eighty five next week you know," he chokes, staring at the ground.

"Honey.....you had eight wonderful years with him. I know it was too soon, but at least those bridges were mended and he knew Lola and Ethan."

"I know, I know," Blaine weeps. "Ugh. Enough. This is your day my baby girl," he says, smiling through his tears. "Now let's go get you married."

* * *

Neither one can quite believe it as they give their beautiful daughter away to Matt, the strong, stoic young man who captured Lola's heart aged just ten, when he helped her to her feet after she took a tumble in the schoolyard. An instant friendship was formed, and neither set of parents were surprised when romance blossomed a few years later. Wiping away tears of joy tinged with sadness, Blaine rests his head on Kurt's shoulder and clings tightly to his husband's hand as Cooper conducts the ceremony. A lot more silver runs through his hair, as it does for Blaine, and the lines around his eyes are more pronounced, but it's the same old Cooper, whispering things to the happy couple to make them laugh, muttering something inappropriate when Zach pats his pockets to find the rings.

Looking around at the assembled guests, Kurt has a hard time reconciling today with twenty five years ago. Has it really been that long? Some are missing of course, Donald Anderson suffered a fatal heart attack seventeen years ago- leaving Blaine to struggle with a long bout of depression which he eventually overcame when Kurt packed the entire family up and retreated to the French cottage for three months.

Hiram and Leroy Berry- dear friends and much needed mentors to Kurt and Blaine over the years- had decided the journey was too much for them, both now in their eighties and suffering with poor health. But Burt and Carole had made it, though Kurt finds himself now worrying about his Dad's advancing years as he leans heavily on his cane, shoulders rounded and stooping slightly. Blaine's mom Susan is also present. Having moved to Niece permanently after Donald's passing, the only time Kurt and Blaine really see her is every year when they relocate to the cottage for the summer months. Finn and Rachel often join them for a couple of weeks, along with Cooper but the best part for Kurt and Blaine is always the times they can be alone.

New additions join them today too. Matt’s parents- James and Sara- who have become firm friends to Kurt and Blaine and of course, their own son and nephew. Ethan Devon Anderson-Hummel arrived first, a tiny scrap of a baby who weighed less than six pounds, but who Kurt, Blaine and Lola fell in love with instantly- especially when he opened his brilliantly blue eyes for the first time. Two weeks later, Jacob William Hudson had arrived. The parents had looked on proudly as the four cousins went through school together, Lola being fiercely protective of Zach, and more than thrilled when he and Matt became friends. As for Ethan and Jacob....well what they hadn’t learned from Cooper wasn’t worth knowing. While a studious Zach had studied hard to become an architect and was now poised to take over the business, Lola had become a Kindergarten teacher....and Ethan and Jacob were still trying to decide- a fact which exasperated all concerned at times but they were more than happy playing gigs in various cafes and bars throughout New York.

After the ceremony, they make their way back up the path- perhaps a bit slower than they had done twenty five years previous- but still with happiness in their hearts. It comes as no surprise to find Jacob and Ethan throwing Matt into the pool- while a shrieking Lola runs around the garden as Zach chases her.

“My dress! My dress! Don’t you dare, Zach Hudson! Don’t you dare!!”

“Never mind the dress,” Blaine mutters in Kurt’s ear, “What about her condition?”

“Cooper, can you sort this please?” Kurt asks, and Cooper’s solution comes in the form of grabbing Zach as he runs past, and hurling him into the pool before jumping in himself.

“You are sixty one years old,” Kurt admonishes as Cooper surfaces, laughing and splashing water.

“So? Doesn’t mean I have to behave.”

“Show some decorum.”

“Ha! You can talk. I bet as soon as we’re all gone tonight you and Blaine will be skinny dipping in the ocean,” he calls, perhaps louder than he intended but it does the job of making both blush profusely.

“We don’t...I mean...I...”

“Shut up, moron,” Blaine says, coming to his husband’s rescue.

“Dad you and papa are gross,” Ethan calls from the pool.

“Yes, thank you," a bright pink Blaine cuts him off.

“No parents do that sort of thing,” he adds.

“Just you wait Ethan. When you’re our age try telling me that again.”

“You’re wrong Ethan,” Cooper says. “Parents do still have sex...it’s just no people on this earth have as much sex as your daddy and papa.”

“Cooper...” Blaine says in a warning tone.

Looking on and laughing fondly, Burt calls over to them- making Matt’s parents wonder what sort of family they’ve become a part of. “Cooper is right. The amount of times I’ve found myself listening to hard rock on the radio in a desperate attempt to drown you two out...”

“You as well? For the love of god!” Kurt cries, but everybody is enjoying the teasing and their embarrassment far too much to stop.

“Are you celebrating twenty five years of marriage today, or twenty five years of fabulously gay sex?”

“Don’t make me come in there,” Kurt warns Cooper.

“Ha! I’d like to see you try....grandpa.”

Grabbing Blaine’s hand, Kurt jumps into the pool alongside his husband and an exuberant Finn as the youngsters retreat- leaving Carole to roll her eyes at Burt again. “Boys.”

Lola makes her announcement, and as predicted, Burt cries and Susan smiles weakly, and the rest of the day is spent eating, drinking, laughing and reminiscing until people start to drift away. Once again, as Cooper’s headlamps fade into the distance, Kurt and Blaine make their way to the water, shedding their clothes quickly and walking in until the waves lap at their chests.

“Happy anniversary,” Kurt says softly, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s neck and drawing him into a lingering kiss.

“What a day.”

“Grandparents Blaine, can you believe?”

“Don’t remind me,” he groans into Kurt’s neck.

“You’ll love it. And I’m so glad we gave Lola and Matt the apartment, it deserves to have children in it once again.”

“Hmm, while we sit on the porch out in Westchester, waiting for our grandkids to visit.”

 

“We’re not that old!”

“No, I know. But I’ve been thinking, and I might go down to part time, I’ve worked hard and now it’s time to enjoy my husband. Zach is really competent, and Ethan was saying he might give it a try.”

“With his art skills he really should,” Kurt muses. “I think Jacob will follow his mom.”

“What? As Fanny Brice?”

“Behave,” Kurt laughs before kissing him tenderly once more.

“Twenty five years,” Blaine murmurs softly, eyes closed in pleasure as he feels Kurt’s tongue working over his collarbone. “I have to be the luckiest man alive.”

“No, I’m pretty sure that’s me.”

“Me.”

“Me.”

“This could go on all night,” Blaine laughs, “But I’d rather be doing something else.”

They move together as one, in a dance that never becomes old as they continually seek new ways to bring each other pleasure. With his legs wrapped tightly around Kurt’s waist, Blaine shudders through his orgasm as he feels Kurt pulse inside him. Stroking back his damp hair from his forehead, Blaine kisses his dear husband tenderly on the lips.

“I love you, my Kurt.”

“Best friends?”

 **  
**“Always.”


End file.
